Shawn (00:45):

And believe it or not, we are back yes. With a kind of unusual theme song. I hope you like it. We might replace it later, but, uh, I think the ending is really cute. So this is English all over the place, a podcast formerly made while we were at IUHW for English students there, but now we're opening it up for anybody that wants to listen to it, including English students, and people that just have good taste in humor.

Barney (01:16):

That's right. We are back.

Shawn (01:16):

I am, I am your host, Shawn De Haven, and with me is my fantastic co-host, the one who puts mean in Mennonite, (Yes, I do.) the most famous, the most famous red head from Wooster, Ohio.

Barney (01:32):

You guys can just go ahead and call me Barney.

Shawn (01:37):

Oh, he's still using that catch phrase! You want to make t-shirts don't you? Just call me Barney or something? Uh, see us on Patreon with a merchandise...

Barney (01:47):

There aren't many of us out there.

Shawn (01:49):

No, no. Did you notice when I sent you the email earlier today to invite you to this? I put Bernie. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's an inside joke because we used to work with a very nice boss that always called him Bernie instead of Barney. (Right?) Two different names. Two different names. (I know. Right? That's right.) There was no weekend at Barney's. (Yes, unfortunately.) But if you are ever going to have a podcast by yourself, I think that's a great title. (I like it.) Weekend at Barney's. (I like it a lot.) But you'd have to make it on Sundays or Saturdays to be (I know. Only.) consistent. Yes.

Barney (02:29):

Well, some people think that the weekend starts from Thursday.

Shawn (02:34):

What? Who thinks that?

Barney (02:36):

Um, where I went to...

Shawn (02:39):

Drunk people?

Barney (02:39):

Exactly. They call it “Thirsty Thursday.”

Shawn (02:42):

Okay. Well, I don't know what it's like in the Mennonite community, but I don't drink that much. (Yeah, right.) Um, or at all. (I know.) So, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the show for the last we had a 10 episode run while we were at a university in Narita, Japan called International House of Pancakes, was it? What was it called? International University of Health, of Health and Weirdness, uh, Welfare. Well, (No one of those. Yeah.) Yeah. Well, it was a bit of weirdness and a bit of welfare. Um, but, uh, it was great to get 10 episodes down and you can find them on Spotify, uh, if you want. And, and there's also a corresponding website, which has, uh, transcripts and, um, uh, listening, comprehension, quizzes, things like that. If you're an English student and you want to study it, or if you just want to look at the transcript and go, what the hell, what the hell did marble mouth Shawn, just say, I don't understand. Um,

Barney (03:49):

And we do add links to the transcripts.

Shawn (03:51):

We try, we try if we make obscure references and we make a lot, um, to eighties movies and things like that, uh, we try and give you hints about what the hell we're talking about, but, uh, we can't help everybody here. So a lot has changed since our last episode though. Um, we both, um, are now not working at IUHW, thank you, Mr. President. And, um, (Not the Marilyn Monroe version.) No, no. Uh, and we are in new positions. Um, Barney is an Uber Eats, uh, uh, delivery man and I'm a lady of the night, but, uh, no, no, no. We're both in -- Barney. What are you doing now? If you can be general enough about it. Yeah.

Barney (04:42):

Yeah, I have toyed with the idea of being an Uber Eats, um, bicycle person, but I haven't gotten around there yet. Um,

Shawn (04:50):

Things are, things are desperate enough yet?

Barney (04:53):

No, no, I have enough jobs as it is? Um, yeah. I, um, I, I work as an English teacher for kindergarten kids. Um, the other day someone said, wow, you're looking so young. I said, yeah, it's because I work at a job where I get to smile everyday. (Oh, it's like a commercial right there.) A lot of fun surprises, um, that unexpected things that, that the kids do that make me laugh. Um, yeah. And then I also, uh, teach some, some private, uh, part-time classes here and there

Shawn (05:27):

At, at some sort of, uh, internet university, right?

Barney (05:30):

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Um, To all of you students who decided to listen to this podcast based on the links I've given you every time I don't have to teach there anymore. I loved you students, but I didn't like the job.

Shawn (05:45):

Oh, you left it?

Barney (05:47):

Yeah. Today was my last class.

Shawn (05:49):

Oh my gosh. Wow. We should've made this podcast sooner. Well, now, now we can gripe about it and we don't have to worry about you getting backlash from your university. (Yeah, right?) So the last episode was griping about IUHW. Today's episode, what's wrong with Cyber University? (How long do we have? ) Um, I don't know. Um, I moved from, um, well, Barney, I both lived in the Narita area in Chiba, near the airport and, uh, um, because the university was there and, um, but I unfortunately had to move away from Narita, and I am now in, uh, Tokyo, um, near, near Tachikawa in a place called Higashiyamato, um, I used to live in Tokyo. So it's kind of a nice to come back. Um, I used to live in Kokubunji, which is a nice area near my old university ICU, not intensive care unit. (I know.) International, uh, Christian University, although there were so many cats on the campus, they used to call it insane cat utopia. (I see. That's very good.) It was a very, uh, apt, uh, nomer there. But, um, so I hope that we have, um, uh, some new listeners and I hope that we have some old listeners, because I know there's a lot of great students at IUHW that used to listen to us, back when we were strictly on e-learning. Now we're free in the interweb. Yes. So Barney, how has life been going with you since the big change from, from IUHW?

Barney (07:35):

Yeah. Um, uh, so this kindergarten job I actually used to work there. I've worked there before IUHW and, um, actually there was a little bit more of a learning curve getting back into the swing of things than I thought

Shawn (07:52):

They don't like, they don't like Ted Talks as much as our old students?

Barney (07:56):

Right? And our old students really liked them too yet. Um, and I thought, boy, can I do this again? Can I really do this job? But, um, thankfully my coworker, she's not listening, she's older than I am. So, I thought if she can do it, I can do it. And yeah, as they say, it's like riding a bike. Once I was thrust into my first class, I was like, oh yeah, this is old hat. And, um, and I've, I've, uh, upped my game a little bit, added some new, um, aspects to class that, that from a pedagogical point of view, it's a very fit and sound. And I like it.

Shawn (08:39):

Okay. Everybody log in until log onto Moodle. And, uh, he knew,

Barney (08:44):

Yeah. It's weird having a commute though.

Shawn (08:48):

Uh, yes. Before, how far were you from,

Barney (08:51):

If I was trying to get there before, um, uh, the first period for setting up for TOEFL, I could make it there on my bicycle in about 10 minutes,

Shawn (09:03):

10 minutes. Yes. I was about 15 minutes away. Um, my current job puts me about an hour away from, with train and bus and things like that. And there are, there, there are good things about having a commute though now. (Yeah, that's true.) Because now I can actually watch a movie on iTunes or listen to a podcast. Before my commute was only 10 to 15 minutes and it was in the car with the kids. And apparently my wife doesn't like it when I watch movies with the headphones on with the kids in the car. I know, what a stickler.

Barney (09:37):

You never see them during the day. So, yeah.

Shawn (09:42):

Um, but, uh, or in my nightmares, um, but... just kidding kids- as if they're listening. Um, but it was nice to be able to have a commute so I could actually catch up. And because some of these things I use in teaching, you know, like, oh, I can use this movie in class or this TV show or this podcast, not so much with the level of students I'm using I'm teaching now because, good kids as they are, their English level is much, much lower than my previous uni--, our previous university. (Right.) I imagine your kindergarten kids, too, English level is much lower. (A bit.) Yes. I know. You know, your fruits! Who cares? Come on! Let's talk about philosophy.

Barney (10:34):

Tell me about these global issues for one,

Shawn (10:37):

Come on, model UN get with it. Let's go.

Barney (10:40):

Africa would Zamibia-- Namibia would never say that! You're out of here!

Shawn (10:46):

Poopy pants!? You're the poopy pants! No, no.

Barney (10:50):

That must be the nenchuu class.

Shawn (10:52):

That's not, uh, that's not a very, a UN like term to use, but, um, yeah, so we've got a lot to get used to here. Um, I have to get used to a lower level of, uh, at least English wise of students and a much heavier class load. I have, uh, uh, 13 classes now. 13 different classes a week. Well, not 13. Well, I mean 13 classes. So five days a week, it's a lot of work. And you, how long is your commute now?

Barney (11:26):

Yeah, I actually teach at three different schools. Two of them are in Saitama and, um, thankfully I can take the same train to get there on time for both of those, but it's about 80 minutes in total one way.

Shawn (11:43):

Wow. Well, you're going to finally finish War and Peace.

Barney (11:47):

Yeah, like you say, I, I could use that time in the morning to sleep and on the way home to prepare the Cyber University classes,

Shawn (11:58):

You sleep on the train?

Barney (11:59):

I close my eyes and I be quiet.

Shawn (12:04):

And you go, Hmm? The other passengers are annoyed..

Barney (12:09):

He takes up so much space with sitting Indian style. What's up with this guy? The lotus position! Um, but my other school is, um, it's just, uh, 15 minutes, 17 minutes by train.

Shawn (12:24):

It's in Chiba? (Yeah, right.) Okay. Yeah. (Yeah) Go ahead.

Barney (12:29):

Yeah. That's but, but, you know, um, I, I feel, I feel as fresh, you know, I don't feel like I'm, thankfully I'm not on a crowded train so I can sit down (Because nobody wants to go to Saitama.) No, not a chance.

Shawn (12:47):

Usually people are heading the other way in the morning to Tokyo to work. So that's understandable. Um, for four days a week I work at one school and that's, that's, that's fine. Um, it's, it's a little bit of commute. The other school it's actually shorter, but it's more annoying because, um, I have to transfer three times. So, I get on the train, go one station, transfer, go one station, transfer, go one station, transfer, and then two stations away. And that's a final stop. So I'm not exactly grading papers or reading a book or anything... (Or sitting down.) If I get too involved, I'll miss my stop. (Oh yeah.) And then I have to take a bus from the station to the university, and there's not many buses, but my bus is never the next bus. It's always the bus after the next bus. I don't understand. I mean, the odds, I mean, sometimes you're going to get the next bus, right? (Yeah, yeah. you would think.) if I arrive at different times. But, um, so, uh, has anything interesting happened to you in the last, uh, few months besides, uh, your work change?

Barney (14:16):

No. Um, I guess in a way that's kind of nice. Um, otherwise things have been pretty stable, steady, um, nothing too, nothing too out of the ordinary. It is the, it is kind of fun that when I go to the kindergarten in Chiba, I use the same station that is with IUHW so I run into students and I run into, uh, teachers, um, I got a really nice birthday surprise from one of the students, even. It was so kind of him. (What did he do?) He, um, so I ran into him, uh, in, uh, late April going to the supermarket there and we chatted and I was like, yeah, I'll say, I'll send you an email. You can send me an email back anytime. And he was really surprised. Yeah, really? Are you sure? Yeah, of course. You know, we're friends. And then, um, I remembered when his birthday was, and I just said, happy birthday. And he said, you know, he, he said, you have a mind, like a super computer to be able to remember that. And it's like, I don't know if I'm that smart, um, close, maybe a super computer from two or three years ago. Um, and then, and then he's like, by the way, you know, I'd like to give you something for your birthday with your address. And I was like, well, no, really I'll just meet you. And he's like, no, it's easier to just send it. And it's a great gift of, um, of cured, cured meats of all things, but really nice.

Shawn (15:51):

Again with the cured meats?

Barney (15:53):

Well, they just know me, they know me so well, right?

Shawn (15:56):

Well, what am I going to do with the cured meats I got for you?

Barney (15:59):

Send them. Send them. I've almost eaten all these up.

Shawn (16:04):

Oh my gosh. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So you were saying that you have a supercomputer brain from a couple of years ago. Mine is probably one of those punch card, large computers that takes up a whole room. That's my, uh, (And can barely keep the right time.) It's very hard for me to remember birthdays of my parents or other... My, my dad was easy cause he was April 3rd. My memory trick was he, it was almost a fool. Yeah. But, um, I still cannot remember my address right now. (Oh no.) You know some-- because the zip code and the numbers are slightly similar. (Oh, that's the worst.) You know, sometimes numbers are easy to remember and some are hard and I can't put my finger on why, but I'm like a little kid here having to look up my address every time. Where do I live? You know.

Barney (16:56):

Where's your rafuda?

Shawn (16:58):

Yeah. Yeah. Let me, let me look on my shirt, mom, mommy pinned it to my shirt. Um, so I had something interesting happened to me recently. It was very strange, um, about, I have to take you back here. About 10, 11 years ago, I went to graduate school at ICU and I studied actually manzai, uh, Japanese comedy and rakugo to a lesser extent. And as part of my studies and for fun too, I joined the comedy troupe there and, uh, there's university clubs for all sorts of things. Uh, you know, sports, arts, other things in Japan. And, uh, boy, I would have loved to have been an undergrad student at ICU because they have, they have the coolest clubs they have like the, uh, um, ningyou gekijo-- like a puppet troop. (That's cool.) That is just so cool. I would have loved to have done that as an undergrad, but as a, as grad student, I was too busy, you know, "Hey, I'm going to Japan to work with puppets." Um, kind of hard to justify. Um, and uh, not the kinky kinds. Don't worry. Um, uh, so I joined that comedy troupe and I performed with them for about a year, year and a half. And we did some shows on campus and it was a lot of fun and one of those comedians, one of those students went on to become a professional comedian. (That's great.) And, uh, he's been, uh, trying hard to break through the last few years and I got a message, direct message from, uh, him through Twitter and I, we don't usually communicate directly. So I was surprised and I read it and he said, "Hey, I'm going on this TV show called Ametalk, Ametalk is a very popular talk show for comedians on Japanese TV. And, uh, he said, I'm going on and I want to use, um, the video from one of the skits that we did together, um, while at ICU.

Shawn (18:59):

And I'm like, and he asked for my permission, I was like, well, sure. You know, (Wow.) I just, I had to reread the message a couple of times because I'm like, "Wait, what?W I could be on TV, what? Without even trying. And, uh, I, I do watch that show regularly. It's a very funny show. (Me too. I like it.) And especially when it was in prime time and it's gone back to a late night format, um, funny, funny show. And the theme of that show was comedians who were in comedy troupes in college, like comedy clubs in the universities. And so they have many famous comedians now that are, and he's semi famous. He's, he's getting there and it just shows you how hard it is because he's been working for nine years as a professional comedian and he's on TV occasionally, but, um, it's still, it's hard. It's hard anyway so I'm like, "Oh, okay, okay, sure. Go ahead and use it." Oh, oh, you want me to send a couple of photos? Sure. Here's one with me at the time. And then one with me with a famous comedian that I work with now, occasionally. And, and I didn't think, you know, I wasn't sure how he was going to talk about me on the show if they were going to make fun of me because you know, you never know. And, and part of comedy is making fun of other people. So I'm like, okay, well, go ahead. Don't be too mean, but go ahead. And, uh, cause it's, it's important for him to, to have a topic to talk about on this show and that generates laughs so he can be successful too. So I thought, well, it might get cut. I don't want to get my hopes up. So finally the day comes and it's on TV at night and I wake up and I stay up late at night, which is rare for me these days, um, with kids it's just, exausting and about, about 10 minutes, 15 minutes left of his show. Sure enough, he introduces the clip and they show it and they laugh. And, um, and then the host who was a, um, his name is Hanawa, he's a comedian of the duo "Knights", which is very popular. He brings up our past because actually when I was researching comedy 10 years ago, right. I was also, um, going backstage, uh, at the Manzaikyoukai theater in Asakusa, Toyokan is what it's called. And he's, he was one of the big wigs in that organization. And one day he was like, he kind of talked me down and he's like, dressed me down. And like, what are you doing here? And, you know, you're in the way, this is our workplace, stuff like that. And it was really at the time it was really ah, it was not a fun experience. And I stopped coming backstage at that time. Uh, cause I think I did overstay my welcome a little bit. (Okay.) I was kind of enchanted by the environment. (Oh yeah, for sure.) Backstage inside, you know, inside the belly of the beast, so to speak. And, and when I saw that he was the host of the show, I'm like, oh, him, okay. Oh, I wonder if he remembers and sure enough, after he watches the clip, he says, "That's Shawn, isn't it? He used to come to Manzaikyoukai." So I'm like, "Uh oh." And they put this little graphic up on the screen, you know? And he's like, he's like we got into a fight once. I'm like, I wouldn't classify it as fight. And they had this little graphic with my picture in the corner of the screen saying, "Hanawa and Shawn fought?" You know, in Japanese and, and uh, um, he's like, yeah, I, I didn't know what he was doing there and I kind of dressed him down and, and, you know, told him he was in the way. And he stopped coming after that. And he said, actually, I feel bad about that. So sorry, Shawn, you know, sorry about that time. He actually apologized to the screen

Barney (22:47):

And he really remembered well. (Yeah.) It was 10 years ago.

Shawn (22:53):

Yeah. I kind of stand out.

Barney (22:55):

Uh, yeah. But, but he remembered a lot of the story behind it too and noticed that you stopped.

Shawn (23:01):

Yes, yes, yes, yes. And he felt bad about it. And uh, so that was kind of nice. It was really an unexpected, it was nice enough to be on the TV show and have them talk about me and then to get an apology from a guy who was somewhat harsh with me at the time. And he was one of my favorite comedians too, still is. (Even worse, yeah.) So, you know, you don't want that to happen. Um, and then it became a little bit of a topic on Twitter that night and there was like an article about it and people like, "Oh, poor Shawn, is he okay? Is he okay?" And I was responding to tweets. I'm okay. Don't worry guys. You know? And I said, I, I put up a tweet to Hanawa the comedian and said, you know, thanks apologizing, you know, uh, I probably overstayed my welcome and uh, don't worry about it or something like that. And people are like, "Hey he's okay. Yay!" So that was my two minutes of fame or something like that. So yeah, it was really kind of weird. I heard that you been on TV a few times. Was it one of those like TV shows like cops or, or.

Barney (24:09):

I know! Where they're pulling me down by my pants as I tried to climb over the fence.

Shawn (24:15):

I couldn't see -- your, your face was blurred. I couldn't tell it was you.

Barney (24:19):

Usually they save the mosaics for other parts.

Barney (24:21):

Yes. So what were, what kind of TV shows were you on?

Barney (24:25):

The first one was, um, probably like three months into my time in Japan or less. And so...

Shawn (24:33):

Did you speak any Japanese at the time?

Barney (24:35):

Yeah, like as much as I had learned from going to the Kominkan on Friday nights. Right. Um, not a lot (Genki desu!) and yeah right, yeah. "Amerika kara kimashita." Um, and, um, uh, I had a super good friend who lived in Tachikawa and, um, so I also like Tachikawa a whole lot. And um, her family knew about this, um, the monorail there every once in a while, maybe once a year or so, they have like a drinking thing where you bring your own snacks and you sit on the monorail and you just drink alcohol from the first station to the last station.

Shawn (24:48):

I'll have to bring the kids next time.

Barney (24:48):

Yes. And, and of course the Tachikawa TV station, they waited until the last station to interview me and I couldn't, it must be, I wonder if it's available, (Sakuraikaido!) but like I could form a normal sentence to begin with, let alone, after that much alcohol, that was... (Maybe your Japanese improved!) Maybe, but I think I was past the limit there, you know, once you get a few drinks inside you, your Japanese is much better, but, um, I was past that. And then the other one, which I remember much better was, uh, my wife and I were in Osaka, uh, Ginza and walking along that avenue that they closed on the weekends to it. And then, uh, it was TBS. One of their lunchtime or afternoon shows where like they ask people on the street, you know, what do you think about this? What do you think about that? And it was with the quiz. It was, um, is the moukouhan, right? The Mongolian spot. Is that just

Shawn (26:22):

The Mongolian spot sounds like a great bar. Um, what is, what is the Mongolian spot? Can you explain it to our listeners?

Barney (26:28):

Yeah. Um, it's, I guess it's a birthmark that is around the rump or the lower back of kids.

Shawn (26:36):

It's like right above the butt crack, basically.

Barney (26:38):

Yeah. And I guess not everybody, but I guess it eventually goes away. I think so. Not all kids it, but if they do have it...

Shawn (26:44):

It's kind of bluish, right?

Barney (26:46):

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So that was actually the perfect question for me, because at that time I was a kindergarten teacher and I remembered clearly the first time I saw this, when we were teaching the two year old class and helping them, you know, go to the bathroom. And I thought to myself, ah, in Japan, they really spank these kids hard. And I thought, I didn't say anything to the teacher because she didn't, she wasn't surprised. I thought, "Gosh, this is normal?" And then I said to my wife, I was like, "Do they really hit their kids that hard? I think this is kind of child abuse." And she's like, "What?" I was, like, "Yeah, these kids they've got bruises. I mean, like really big bruises on their backside." And she's like, "Oh no, no, no, that's just a birthmark!" I was like, "What?!"

Shawn (27:44):

And, and it's a good thing you didn't call the police or report it to the officials...

Barney (27:48):

This really kind of severe.

Shawn (27:51):

So they asked you about that on the TV show and Ginza? What did they...

Barney (27:54):

And so my opinion was I got to tell that anecdote, but I thought, no, it's just limited to, um, Japanese people, but I guess, um, I don't know if they were considering birthmark in a broader definition of birthmark because the correct answer was, oh no, anybody can have a birth or anybody can have moukouhan. And that was it.

Shawn (28:16):

Oh, well, um, so talking about blue spots above the butt and getting drunk on, in the Tachikawa monorail.

Barney (28:25):

Yeah, well you know, I have a niche.

Shawn (28:27):

Anyway, you can get it, yes. Um, yeah. And, and actually going back a second and go to my comedy thing here, one good thing. One good side effect was my comedian friend sent me the comedy clips of those performances, that the, the whole skits that we did together, actually the whole show, that show. And then, um, the other time where I performed solo was my first time ever performing in front of people in Japanese, at a student festival. And, and I feel like I killed at the time. I really did well. And I thought afterwards, was that memory real? Did I really succeed? Did my memory kind of, um, exaggerate the laughter or something like that, but thanks to him and the people who keep track of these videos at the university. Um, I have those now on my computer. (Ah, that's good.) That's a great memory because I obviously don't have time to perform comedy and, and my kids don't get me, but naw they do. But, um, and a cool thing about that first show when I was solo was I actually did kill.

Barney (29:42):

Oh, good.

Shawn (29:43):

Yeah. I mean, it was, it was all downhill from there, but, um, you know, first show, uh, you know, home run and then afterwards back to the minors, but still it was a great experience and it was just great to have that on video on your computer now. So you can show your kids someday and they'll go, "Dad, I'm bored. I want to watch something else." And you're like, "Please just it's just watch this. This means something." And it was kind of cool to be on Ametalk because actually my kids know that TV show and they like that TV show. Oh yeah. So they kind of smiled when they saw it and then good, and thankfully it was only two minutes long. So it was long enough for their attention span. You know, it wasn't a documentary or something like that.

Barney (30:31):

That's awesome.

Shawn (30:32):

But, um, so, um, that's catching you guys up on what we've been doing lately. I hope it's not too boring, but um, uh, we're going to be doing this now on, um, remotely I'm in Tokyo and, and we're going through the internet, through the magic of technology and Barney is still in his, his studio in Narita. So we are connecting Chiba and Tokyo so we can bring you, um, some funny stuff and hopefully some, uh, good practice for your English listening skills. So I think we're going to wrap up this episode. Stay tuned. We're going to have other episodes coming up soon and I hope you enjoyed this. Barney, any final thoughts?

Barney (31:22):

It's great to be back, uh, in front of the mic again and, uh, with my very fantastic, charming, clever, and very humorous cohost.

Shawn (31:37):

Whaaat?! Oh, can you see me blushing on, on the, on the podcast? It doesn't come up. It doesn't come out. Yeah. Okay guys. Well until next time, this is Shawn and...

Barney (31:48):

You guys can keep calling me Barney

Shawn (31:51):

Or Bernie, whatever. Um, and we will see you guys next week. So next week, excuse me, we're not doing a weekly podcast. I'm not sure we're--next episode, next episode, excuse me. So from us at English All Over the Place, uh, have a good week, good month, whatever. See you later, guys!