Knowing is better than guessing.
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1. You’re assigned a task you don’t know how to complete. What’s your move?
1. You’re assigned a task you don’t know how to complete. What’s your move?
A) Pretend you know what you're doing, Google everything, and hope for the best.
B) Consult the company handbook, watch internal training videos, attempt the task, then ask a colleague for feedback before escalating to your manager.
C) Quietly delegate the task to a coworker under the guise of “teamwork” and take credit for their work.
D) Submit an anonymous question to HR, then create a PowerPoint titled “Barriers to Effective Onboarding” to passively raise awareness.
Correct Answer: B – Resourcefulness is good, but skipping steps isn’t. Google is great, but your team is better.
2. Your paycheck didn’t arrive on payday. What’s your first course of action?
2. Your paycheck didn’t arrive on payday. What’s your first course of action?
A) Assume your employment was an elaborate social experiment and begin looking for a documentary crew.
B) Check your bank account, verify your direct deposit settings, then calmly contact payroll for clarification.
C) Immediately draft a strongly worded email to leadership demanding “reparations.”
D) Print out your contract, highlight the pay dates, and dramatically present it to your manager like a lawyer in a courtroom drama.
Correct Answer: B – Stay calm and check the basics first. No need for theatrics… yet.
3. What is the company’s preferred communication tool?
3. What is the company’s preferred communication tool?
A) The group text thread that leadership definitely doesn’t know about.
B) The platform your manager introduced during onboarding, backed by documented policies.
C) A mix of Slack, email, WhatsApp, handwritten Post-It notes, and hallway whispers—each carrying different levels of urgency and confusion.
D) A complicated network of secret meetings, body language signals, and passive-aggressive email signatures.
Correct Answer: B – Official channels exist for a reason. Also, body language isn’t a notification system.
4. How do you properly request time off?
4. How do you properly request time off?
A) Submit your request through the official HR portal, ensure coverage for your responsibilities, and wait for approval before making plans.
B) Announce your vacation plans loudly in the break room while making prolonged eye contact with your boss.
C) Take PTO first, then apologize later. It’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission, right?
D) Secretly schedule “off-site work” for an entire week, leave a self-emailing bot to cover for you, and pray nobody notices.
Correct Answer: A – Clear process > vacation roulette.
5. You receive an urgent email from the CEO requesting gift cards. What do you do?
5. You receive an urgent email from the CEO requesting gift cards. What do you do?
A) Buy them immediately—because, duh, it’s the CEO!
B) Examine the email header for inconsistencies, check for phishing red flags, report it to IT, and verify through official channels.
C) Reply asking, “Are you sure you don’t prefer wire transfers?” just to see what happens.
D) Gather the entire office for an emergency meeting to determine the moral implications of CEO gift card requests.
Correct Answer: B – Phishing scams are obvious, but they still work because people panic. Stay sharp!
6. When should you reset your work password?
6. When should you reset your work password?
A) When your password is leaked in a data breach.
B) Every few months, per IT policy, or whenever you suspect security risks.
C) The moment your coworker glances at your keyboard while you type.
D) Every 24 hours, using increasingly complex passwords until even you can’t access your account.
Correct Answer: B – Security is a balance—constant resets aren’t the answer.
7. You strongly disagree with a coworker on a project. What’s the best approach?
7. You strongly disagree with a coworker on a project. What’s the best approach?
A) Address your concerns professionally, provide solutions, and if necessary, seek mediation.
B) Email their manager with the subject line: "URGENT: Professional Incompetence Report."
C) Casually bring up the disagreement during an unrelated team meeting to gain group validation.
D) Print out evidence of your point, tape it to their desk, and highlight key areas in red marker labeled “WRONG.”
Correct Answer: A – Disagreements happen, but professionalism wins the long game.
8. Which of the following is NOT a valid excuse for being late to work?
8. Which of the following is NOT a valid excuse for being late to work?
A) An unexpected transportation breakdown.
B) You were “spiritually led” to take a slower morning.
C) A legitimate medical emergency.
D) A construction delay that blocked your entire route to work.
Correct Answer: B – Mindfulness is great. Punctuality is better.
9. What’s the best way to make a great impression on leadership?
9. What’s the best way to make a great impression on leadership?
A) Do quality work, take initiative, and contribute meaningfully.
B) Memorize their coffee order and deliver it every morning with a motivational quote.
C) Send daily check-in emails at 5 AM to prove you’re “always thinking about work.”
D) Laugh at all their jokes—even the ones that are legally considered puns.
Correct Answer: A – Consistency and competence will always be better than caffeine-based flattery.
10. You have a great idea to improve something at work. What’s the best approach?
10. You have a great idea to improve something at work. What’s the best approach?
A) Keep it to yourself—big ideas tend to get stolen anyway.
B) Develop a clear proposal, present it to your manager or team, and gather feedback.
C) Implement your idea unilaterally, announce it via company-wide email, and deal with the consequences later.
D) Create a multi-part podcast documenting the flaws of the current system, teasing your big reveal in the final episode.
Correct Answer: B – Execution is important, but so is teamwork and approval.
🟤 9-10 Correct: You are officially onboard! Your brain is the onboarding handbook in human form.
🟤 6-8 Correct: You’re on the right track, but a refresher wouldn’t hurt.
🟤 3-5 Correct: Were you physically present for onboarding, or was it just your body?
🟤 0-2 Correct: Are you sure you weren’t just visiting the office?
🟤 Use official company resources – They exist for a reason.
🟤 Ask smart questions – Curiosity is better than assumptions.
🟤 Engage with your team – They’ll save you from unnecessary struggles.
🟤 Follow policies – They’re here to prevent chaos, not ruin your fun.
Congrats on your new role!
Now, go forth and thrive at work.
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