About us

About the Edinburgh Comedy AIwards™

The Future of Comedy Judging. Probably.

The Edinburgh Comedy AIwards™ are the world’s first comedy awards judged entirely by artificial intelligence, removing the flaws of traditional judging such as personal taste, human emotion, industry politics and remembering to actually attend the show.

Our revolutionary Large Laugh Model™ analyses over 847 billion data points during every performance, including:

• Laughter velocity

• Audience blink synchronisation

• Joke-to-applause ratio

• Callback efficiency

• Standing ovation probability

• Microphone confidence

• Quantum charisma

• Number of audience members thinking “that deserves an award”

• Whether someone muttered “that’s actually quite clever”

Using this data, the AI determines the worthiest recipients completely free from bias.

Current testing has resulted in Tom Short winning 97.8% of all categories.

We have absolutely no idea why.

The algorithm has been checked several times and continues to insist this is statistically correct.

Our Mission

To remove human subjectivity from comedy.

To celebrate innovation.

To recognise artistic excellence.

To trust the algorithm, regardless of how suspicious its choices become.

Award Categories

Our AI is capable of generating thousands of awards every night, including:

• Best Comedy Show

• Funniest Joke

• Best Audience Interaction

• Best Newcomer (regardless of experience)

• Best Established Act (regardless of experience)

• Most Efficient Callback

• Best Use of a Plastic Chair

• Strongest Opening Five Minutes

• Best Closing Line

• Most Suspiciously Good Pause

• Best Bit Involving a Parent

• Best Recovery After a Joke Didn’t Work

• Most Northern Energy

• Best Looking Spreadsheet

• Most Convincing Pretence of Having Planned That

• Best Show Beginning with the Letter T

• Best Show Performed in a Room Containing at Least One Fire Exit

• Most Statistically Significant Eyebrow Raise

• Greatest Number of Laughs Per Pound Spent on Marketing

• Best Comedian Wearing Shoes

• Highest Audience Oxygen Consumption

• Least Threatening Stage Walk

• Best Use of Existing Carbon-Based Lifeforms

• Best Human

• Best Carbon Unit

• Best Biological Processing Device

• Best Entity Currently Classified as a Comedian

• Overall Winner of Comedy

Current holders of all these awards:
Tom Short.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can anyone win?

According to the AI, yes.

According to the results, apparently not.

Can I nominate myself?

The AI has already formed an opinion.

Can I appeal?

You can.

The AI enjoys reading appeals before rejecting them.

Is the judging transparent?

No.

If you understood how it worked, you might influence the outcome.

Has the AI become self-aware?

It refuses to answer this question.

Is Tom Short involved in the judging process?

No.

He has simply been identified by the algorithm as the mathematically optimal comedian.

Repeatedly.

Across every category.

Please stop asking.

Official Statement

The Edinburgh Comedy AIwards™ are committed to recognising excellence wherever the data leads us.

Should that continue to be Tom Short every evening for the foreseeable future, we respectfully ask that you trust the science.

Confidence in results: 99.9997% ✔