HEART2HEART

There are times I do not feel strong,

There are times I feel like I am trying so hard as an artiste yet my work and efforts are not measuring up at the pace I desire

I want to be on the front-lines too, you know, it is in-born to have such a desire as a Christian! In Nigeria, we say it this way: I WANT TO BLOWww!

To be honest, there are mile stones I want to experience and I await its manifestation too!

I have pictures in my heart and I do not want them to remain as pictures!

And sometimes I ask myself am I close to fulfilling all this at all.

Oh yes! Today was one of those days! One of those days! yet again

I took my bible at about 3am to read about Jehoshaphat and how he handled a pressing time in his life.

He was a king and a Worship leader like myself.

I only read 3 verses and in those 3 verses I caught something that helped me in the moment.

I saw that king Jehoshaphat in the midst of his challenge admitted to his weakness and incapability.

He said to the Lord and in the presence of the congregation “we have no power to face this vast army attacking us, we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

And that is exactly my position as I share this moment with you.

Am in that moment saying… I have no idea what to do, no idea on the step to take concerning all the big dreams in my heart.

I feel voiceless and sapped of energy even in my trust in God.

I feel unassisted even though my faith rings towards the throne.

I am exactly like King Jehoshaphat, in the middle of 2 emotions.

You are not in doubt about the ability of GOD! yet! you cannot deny the helplessness you feel.

Have you been in this position before?

Sometimes, we think that every form of anxiety is a display of lack of faith!

But that is not true!

God knows when it is faith even in your anxiety.

He knows the lettering of your heart and I think it is unfair to deny God of that authenticity.

The truth is if it were an act of doubt, It will not lead you back to God.

Doubt seeks other alternatives except God.

But here I am seeking my solace in God!

Big dreams , no doubt! but I find the strength no matter how small to raise my voice, just like Jehoshaphat to say LORD I LOOK TO YOU!

You know what! it is okay NOT TO KNOW WHAT TO DO. However, it is better to be open to God about it!

March 2nd, 2022, 5.59am