5 Beneficial Ways to Deal with Conflict in a Relationship
5 Beneficial Ways to Deal with Conflict in a Relationship
Embedded Files
Do you ever feel like your partner misunderstands you? Do you feel unheard in your relationship?
You might think about how incredible it felt at the beginning of your relationship. Didn’t it start because you and your partner lifted each other up to come closer together?
Then why, when you argue, does it feel like you’re miles apart?
The truth is conflict in our relationships is unavoidable. Even the happiest couples have disagreements. What distinguishes successful relationships from the rest is how partners in the relationship approach disagreements.
Here is Dr. Zungu's assistant delivering the treatment to the client
Here is Dr. Zungu's assistant delivering the treatment to the client
Dr. Zungu will help you cast the right spell
Dr. Zungu will help you cast the right spell
Avoid the following unhealthy things during a disagreement
Avoid the following unhealthy things during a disagreement
- contempt
Contempt is the feeling that a person in this case your partner is worthless or beneath consideration. Contempt is dangerous because it shows up as comments that make one partner seem superior to the other.
2. defensiveness
2. defensiveness
Defensiveness shows up when the defensive partner makes excuses or deflects blame instead of taking responsibility. Defensiveness is a coping strategy where we attack another person in order to shift focus away from our own faults and insecurities.
3. stonewalling
3. stonewalling
Stonewalling is when you refuse to communicate with your partner intentionally shutting down during an argument, which most people call the silent treatment, can be hurtful, frustrating, and harmful to the relationship. Stonewalling shows up when a partner completely shuts down and builds a wall instead of confronting the issue.
4. selfishness
4. selfishness
Being selfish means things always have to be your way and you have to control every aspect of everything that happens in your life, especially your partner's life, too. If you do this, you don't consider their goals or thoughts and only want what you think is best. Sometimes we get so focused on our own needs that we overlook the importance of acknowledging our partner’s needs and desires.
The following are the way you can resolve each disagreement to salvage your relationship.
Take a breath and try calm yourselves
Take a breath and try calm yourselves
Express appreciation
Express appreciation
Listen with empathy
Listen with empathy
Here are the 5 beneficial ways to deal with conflict in a relationship
1. Listen with empathy.
During a disagreement, listen with the goal of understanding your partner’s point of view. Be open as you listen to why your partner feels the way they do.
● Avoid getting defensive.
● Keep the conversation calm and respectful.
● Understand the root of your partner’s point of view.
2. Express appreciation.
Disagreements can lead to a tense environment where both you and your partner’s guards are up and alert. After your partner shares his or her experience with you, express appreciation.
● “I appreciate that you shared that with me.”
● “I understand that might have been difficult for you to share. Thank you for trusting me with that.”
3. Be curious.
When you approach a disagreement with curiosity, you are opening yourself to learn something new about both you and your partner. Ask questions.
Be curious about your partner’s perspective and what triggers may have come up leading up to or during the argument.
4. Take a break.
When you start to feel overwhelmed, ask for at least 20 minutes so you both can distract yourselves from the conversation and calm down. A study by The Gottman Institute found that couples who took a 30-minute break during an argument returned to the discussion with lower heart rates.
● Read a book or magazine.
● Listen to music.
● Go for a walk or a jog.
● Play with your pet.
● Solve a Sudoku or crossword puzzle.
5. Talk about how you feel and what you need.
Our first reaction during an argument might be to tell our partner how they harmed us. It’s more productive to talk about how you feel and what you need.
● Avoid putting blame on the other person.
● Turn towards your partner when they share what they need. How can you fulfill that need?
If you find yourself in a conflict loop, step away from the idea of “winning” the argument. Instead, take the steps above to listen to your partner, be curious, or even take a break.
Before you end the conflict resolution conversation, ask your partner how you can support them. Asking how you can support each other is a great way to revisit your original, loving intentions that you had for each other.
Disagreements are a natural part of every relationship. Learning healthy ways to deal with those disagreements will help you learn more about your partner and build trust in the relationship.
Turn your conflicts into opportunities to strengthen your relationship! You’ll both enjoy the results!
Dr. Zungu Contact Number: +27 | E-mail: dr.zungu@gmail.com
Legal Disclaimer - Must be over 18 to access our services. Not everyone's situation is the same, and therefore Individual results may vary. It is not possible for everyone to experience the exact same results in the exact same amount of time.
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse