Brian's intro from the first Earwolf episode- I'm Brian Posehn! Basically what this show is, is every week me and my friends are going to play Dungeons and Dragons for about an hour. We'll mess around during the game and make fun of each other, all in all, it will be fun. Eventually, one of us is going to win and be crowned King Nerd. That's not how D&D works. Basically, if you've never played before, what were you doing? Throwing footballs? Banging girls or boys? What have you done with your lives if you've never played D&D? It's a role-playing game, it's my favorite role-playing game. Each player creates a character and you go through an adventure that the Dungeon Master, who you'll meet soon, creates. Sometimes he will play out of a book, or our guy, who you will meet shortly, he pulls everything out of his brain or his bottom's brain. And we'll be battling monsters and magical creatures, it's very hard to say that kind of stuff without feeling like a total nerd. There's really no ending or goal, I mean, every adventure will have a goal that Sark our DM will create and we'll never know until we get there or all of our characters die. It's basically like World of Warcraft but with a book, and also dice, and it's more fun and social you're not alone in a room, instead there are 6 people in a room. I basically, my history with D&D is I've played very young, I played in junior high and didn't play for a long time. Then in my 20s played again with a guy I worked with at a record store and that was very fun, we would get super high and listen to Slayer. D&D had a bad reputation in the early days for being Satanic and it's not, but my friend made it Satanic so that was fun. About 10 years ago I started to play with a group of friends you are about to meet and we played for about 7 years. Then me and another couple of guys got our wives pregnant, separately, by fucking. At least, that's what I did, I don't know Gerry and Patton's story. So then that derailed our game and I came up with the idea because I was talking with the people of Earwolf like "Hey let's do a podcast!". And I was like "I don't know what to do for a podcast" and then I went "Oh, I'll play D&D with my friends" Which I had been wanting to do anyways... I like to play dumb guys. I like to play characters where I don't have to do a ton of thinking. I like to be the guy who is first through the door. I played small characters, one of the first characters I played was Jackie he was sort of a monk character. But since him, I've played mostly guys who are my stature or bigger, guys who like thumping things and killing."tag_hash_104

Blaine's intro from the first Earwolf episode - Hi, my name is Blaine Capatch, I'm a comedian stand-up wise. I also write for television, I've written for things like MAD tv and Mind of Mencia; NO WAIT COME BACK! I host Lucha Va Voom and I announce roller derbies and I play in bands. I usually play elves, when I was a kid I would play muscle men because I was a little elfy guy but then I grew into myself.

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Ken's intro from the first Earwolf episode - Hi, my name is Ken Daly and I'm a writer, a former actor. You might have seen me in such films as The Usual Suspects, a couple of lines, Karate Kid, one line. I also am right now doing a show with Dana Gould and Dave Koechner at Meltdown called Carney-Ville. Sort of a variety, carney themed comedy show, go enjoy that. Usually, I play as a bunch of different things, you never know what I'm going to be. I've been a three armed tree guy, a sneaky elf, you name it, thief, whatever.

Sarah's intro from the first Earwolf episode - I'm Sarah Guzzardo, I'm a writer. I have a website called Avoid This Job and I'm the token girl. I typically play smart fighters, would be the goal. I think this one might be dumb, but we'll find out!

Gerry's intro from the first Earwolf episode - Hi, I'm Gerry Duggan. I write television and comic books. Currently, I'm staffed on Attack of the Show. I wrote The Infinite Horizon for Image with Phil Noto. I usually play troublemakers I guess, across a wide spectrum of classes. I look forward to playing another troublemaker now. 

Sark's intro from the first Earwolf episode: My real name is Scott Robinson, but you'll hear these guys all call me Sark because that's my gamer tag and that's what you know me by more than my real name. I'm a producer at Machinima so I work in video game media and we cover news, reviews, previews, that sort of thing. Recovering Mormon, I hate the homeless and I've fantasized about killing a hobo my entire life. Some day I want to wrap my hands around a homeless man's throat and watch his life drain out.

Dan started out as a special guest on episode 92 released on September 9, 2014. He was temporarily taking over Sarah's character Lyra, but once she officially took a sabbatical Dan became a permanent cast member.

Steve first joined the podcast on Episode 87, made available on August 5, 2014. He filled in for Gerry's character Winter and, after a long absence from Duggan, he eventually became a permanent cast member.

Watching "Bedazzled," I was reminded of the ancient newspaper legend about the reporter sent to cover the Johnstown Flood. "God stood on a mountain top," he wrote, "and saw what his flood waters had wrought." His editor cabled back: Forget flood. Interview God. Why was I remembering this old story? Because, in the new comedy "Bedazzled," Brendan Fraser falls in love with Frances O'Connor and, to win her, sells his soul to the devil, who is played by Elizabeth Hurley. Forget girl, I'm thinking. Seduce Satan.

Not that Hurley is that good a Satan--just that she's the ranking babe in this movie. As Satan, she seems too composed and collected. A certain zaniness is required; Satan must have been quite a madcap to leave heaven in order to spend eternity as a troublemaker. In the original "Bedazzled" (1967), Peter Cook played Satan and Raquel Welch played Lust, one of the seven deadly sins. That 7-to-1 ratio between Satan's evil genius and its sinful building blocks is, I think, about right.

The new movie has been directed by Harold Ramis from a screenplay that uses the 1967 film more as inspiration than source. It is lacking in wickedness. It doesn't smack its lips when it's naughty. When its hero sells his soul to the devil, what results isn't diabolical effrontery, but a series of contract negotiations and consumer complaints. This is twice in two weeks (after the Winona Ryder exorcism movie "Lost Souls") that Satan loses on points.

The movie stars Brendan Fraser as Elliot, an office nerd whose goofy grin and effusive banalities send his co-workers into hiding. For three years he has dreamed of the lovely Alison (Frances O'Connor, splendid in "Mansfield Park"), who barely notices him. Then he meets the devil with a red dress on: This is Hurley, who offers him the standard contract, seven wishes for his soul. What always goes wrong with these deals is that the human words his request in the wrong way, and the sneaky devil tricks him. This is bad business. Since Satan wants to win souls, he (or she) should deliver magnificently on every promise, so that by number four or five, the satisfied customers are telling their friends, and Satan is getting pass-along business.

Fraser is a wonderful comic actor--better than he gets the credit for, because he creates funny characters instead of exploding in what is intended as funny behavior. Here he finds himself reincarnated (or remodulated, or whatever the process is called) as a Colombian drug lord, a bucktoothed new age nice guy, an NBA star, Abraham Lincoln and so on. He's often very funny; I liked the courtside interview after an NBA game where he drips with buckets of sweat.

The problem with his seven wishes and their associated interludes is that they're not funny enough, consistently enough. The double-cross after every wish works like a punch line that comes before the joke. He makes a request, we see what went wrong, and then the movie lingers too long while developing the situation.

Why not some twists and U-turns? What if Elliot figured out how to word the perfect wish? ("You, as Satan, already know what would really make me happy. I want you to grant it unconditionally, without loopholes.") There's a hint of that in the scene where he asks to be made the world's most sensitive man, and finds himself in an alternative universe where Alison loves him, but is bored by how sensitive he is: "I want a life with a man who will ignore me and take me for granted and only pretend to be interested in me to get in my pants." Funny, but the movie never reaches escape velocity, and Elizabeth Hurley is too calm to be the devil. She lacks abandon, risk and maniacal self-amusement. She doesn't crank it up enough. I was reminded of another old story, about the time Jack. L. Warner heard that Ronald Reagan was thinking of running for president. "That can't be right," Warner said. "Ronald Reagan for best friend. Jimmy Stewart for president." Walking out of the screening, I was thinking: Elizabeth Hurley for girlfriend, Courtney Love for Satan. 152ee80cbc

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