At some point in the last 3 years of my daily practice, I started to say a prayer when the closing bell would ding on my phone. The prayer has morphed organically over time & now consists of 4 parts: my intentions, the Buddhist Death Prayer, a Metta Prayer & my closing intentions. This is what I say every day:
I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that I cherish & everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. My actions are my only true possessions. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand.
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As an immigrant from Israel & a child of war, I wrote this about my vantage point. Specifically, it is about my early indoctrination into Zionism, the muzzle over any questions or dissent, & the dire implications of that upbringing in this critical moment. Situated as an Israeli-American Jew, I feel a chill in my bones & a hole in my chest, knowing that the Israeli & American government are wielding Judaism as a means to justify genocide & that mainstream media voraciously supports this angle, stifling contradicting voices & evidence.
My role is not to convince anyone of anything, I can only point toward information, I can only use my voice & resources to try & support those most in need, most in danger. My role is to deal with my own anger, disappointment, helplessness, shame, as all of these feelings unfold & fluctuate moment by moment, day by day.
For those of you that have been reading Freer Form for a while now, you might have heard me talk about my meditation practice as a humbling pursuit \u2013 one that has knocked me out of idealism into practicality, out of perfection into messiness, out of being \u201Ca good person\u201D into being a whole person.
May the merit of this practice be of benefit & inspiration to all beings. May all beings be happy. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be safe & protected. May all beings love & be loved. May all beings awaken to liberation\u2026
This prayer comes after 20 minutes of \u201Cmonkey mind\u201D \u2013 that is, a rolodex of distractibility / impatience / boredom / lust / irritation / etc. As the sit (or lying down) ends, doubt can often creep in: why am I even doing this? This doesn\u2019t feel like healing or growth, so why keep coming back to this practice? Sometimes I feel like all I did was sit in a mud puddle for 20 minutes. I feel soggy, damp, heavy. Wasn\u2019t this supposed to bring me waves of peace & inner light?
As attractive a notion, there is no one-time-fix, no one-time-heal-it-all-meditation. Each time I sit, I am required to reestablish my intention just as I would in daily life, say, with the dishes. The way to use dishes is to take them out of the cupboard, put food on them, get them dirty, wash them, dry them, put them away, & start the process all over again when it is time for another meal. That\u2019s just how it works. An intention is like a dish: it requires use & engagement for it to be useful.
As Palestine goes into its third week of bombardment, I have witnessed some of the most horrific images of my lifetime: dead Palestinian child after dead Palestinian child after dead Palestinian child, Palestinians attempting to uncover family members buried in rubble, armed Israeli settler vigilantes murderously capitalizing on the chaos \u2013 & on top of it all, the dehumanizing propaganda of mainstream news coverage, which seeks to reiterate that Israel is the only country with real citizens. \u201CDehumanizing propaganda\u201D is not an opinion I hold, it\u2019s a reality playing out before our eyes; Israel\u2019s highest officials have gone on record calling Palestinians \u201Chuman animals.\u201D Prime Minister Netanyahu quickly deleted his tweet which read that the current war on Gaza is a \u201Cstruggle between the children of light and the children of darkness, between humanity and the law of the jungle.\u201D The images, stories, & voices out of Palestine show us Israel\u2019s stated agenda clearly. Raz Segal, associate professor of Holocaust and genocide studies at Stockton University, states \u201CIndeed, Israel\u2019s genocidal assault on Gaza is quite explicit, open, and unashamed.\u201D So where is the confusion? This racism, cultural cleansing, & what scholars & historians are calling \u201Ca textbook case of genocide\u201D1 did not begin on October 7th. The question is: when will it end? & What part are we each playing in demanding it end?
Witnessing the incredible protests & actions of the Free Palestine movement has been powerful & heartening. Yet, watching mainstream media & so many people online seek to justify what is currently happening to Palestine aches me. I witness friends or family not know what to say or do \u2013 & so, back away slowly. In being afraid to take action, to name genocide as such, they fall into neutrality, disassociation, or overthinking the (so-called) \u201Ccomplexity\u201D of the issue.
So when the bell dings & I begin to recite, I trust in vast intelligence, I trust in vast intuition, I trust in vast compassion, that means trusting a vastness beyond my small perspective. It means trusting a multitude of people, hands, hearts, & wisdom to educate & grow me. It\u2019s been biologically proven: we cannot grow alone. We need each other. If you are feeling confused, or angry, or uncertain, don\u2019t let that lock you up inside yourself. Be a human about it. Reach out. Learn. Feel. Connect.
When the bell dings & I recite My actions are my only true possessions, there is no way to escape the consequences of my actions, my actions are the ground on which I stand I emphasize that my intention is only so good as my action. It\u2019s critical not to shy away from what can be done. Because it is obvious that the bottom line for governments is land, power, & money, I have to ask:
\u2022 When I feel helpless & like checking out, how can I look at what I do have? I can share & support the work of Palestinian civilians, writers & reporters, & their allies2. I can amplify their message & fight mainstream media\u2019s very real propaganda & shutting down of Palestinian voices - from social media censorship to the targeted murder of journalists. I can stay knowledgable about events where I live.
In her recent New York Times article, she writes, \u201CThe task of the Palestinian is to be palatable or to be condemned. The task of the Palestinian, we\u2019ve seen in the past two weeks, is to audition for empathy and compassion. To prove that we deserve it. To earn it.\u201D3 I implore you to read the article in full.
Reader, I believe that when we are together like this, tucked inside language & learning \u2013 yes, even in a digital space \u2013 I believe we hold great power, great possibility. Consider that just this morning, Israel cut all communications & internet in Gaza. What were you doing this morning? I was making breakfast, running the tap water, cleaning a dish. I was texting a friend, turning on the stove, answering an email. Where are you, right now? What\u2019s at your disposal? Don\u2019t throw up your hands. Use them.
Scripture is also clear about what hinders our prayer lives, and that is what this session is going to cover. I am going to save a little bit of time and give you some tools to lead to corporate prayer gatherings that will fuel spiritual momentum and revival. How does that sound? It that why you are here?
#1: The Me-Centered Prayer
If God answered every single prayer that you prayed, would the world look different? Would our churches be changed? Would there be revival in your community, or would just your family be safe, healthy, and happy?
Well, God-centered prayer blazes the highway of holiness for God to come in revival. God-centered prayer begs to see and experience the glory of God, and for God Himself to be glorified in and through our lives.
So, ladies, until you believe to the depths of your soul, that God is good and that the cross of Christ proves that He is 100% . . . Can I say 1,000%? Is it okay to say that? 1,000% for you and not against you, and that His plan for our lives is far superior than anything we could imagine and that when we get to heaven, we will rejoice that He did all things well, that there were no mistakes, that there were no mishaps. Until we truly believe that Heaven rules, our prayers will be short-sighted and anemic. 152ee80cbc
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