DEAR SON: I am glad you asked. I am also glad you are in therapy. Everyone grieves differently, and it is not unusual for someone to continue to grieve the loss of a loved one after a year. Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your dear mother. There are brighter days ahead.

A few months into my membership, I am at my favorite 4:30 class on a Thursday afternoon. Level one, obviously. We flow through a sequence and end at chair pose, which is basically a deep squat with your arms held high in the air. Within seconds my legs are shaking. Just as beads of sweat begin forming at my temples, the instructor speaks.


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\u201CWhen I first started practicing yoga,\u201D she says, \u201CI remember looking at the person in front of the class thinking: when I \u2018make it\u2019 as a yogi, THAT is what I am going to look like. A person nailing every pose. An expert. Someone who can do a 75-minute flow perfectly without even breaking a sweat.\u201D

My mama's Sunday dinner. My daddy's rough hug. My stepdaughter's deep dimples. My sister's understanding ear. My little brother's big presence. My aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws. The sweet voices of my nieces and nephews rising with excitement, asking, "T-Lisa, guess what?"

Now, lupus is trying to take her legs. Doctors say the disease has caused arteries to harden and clots to form, blocking the flow of blood to her lower legs, ankles and toes. There is hope that the problem can be corrected, and--Sandra being Sandra--she is clinging to that.

As my mother wrestled with whether she should meet her sisters in Texas on Monday for my uncle's triple bypass surgery, I was silent. I saw Big Mama and Papa, my maternal grandparents, who both died of congestive heart failure. I remembered the trauma of wondering whether I was going to lose my own mama in 1991, when at age 48, she underwent an emergency heart bypass operation. 17dc91bb1f

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