They had the families line the walkway and wave little American Flags while all of these brave young men and women boarded vans that would take them to their new lives. I stood there watching them file by thinking they are all so young. They are really just babies, barely beginning to understand what the world is really about, and they are prepared to die for their country.
By the time my son walked by I could barely keep it together. I waved my little flag and smiled and clapped because I wanted him to see how proud we were of him. Inside, I wanted to die. I wanted to hug him and beg him not to go. I wanted to be selfish and keep him safe with me.
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You see, I knew absolutely nothing about the military. No one in my immediate family had even been in the military. I knew only what I had been told or seen in the movies, and we all know how reliable that is.
Oh, they told me that he would go to Fort Benning and stay in processing for at least 5 days up to 2 or 3 weeks, depending on a variety of factors. I knew sortof what he would be doing while he was there. I had watched all of the Making of a Soldier videos on YouTube. I was informed! (sarcasm)
There are some things that you can do to make things a little easier at least. Things that I wish someone had told me about a year ago when this journey began. Hopefully, these suggestions will make your journey a little easier.
Read it, and then read it again, and again. Read it every time you think you might go insane not knowing what is going on with your kid. Elaine is a mother of four children, each of them in a different branch of the military. She has been through it all, and wrote a book about it! Her wisdom is so incredibly helpful.
It took me quite a while to realize that I needed to grieve. I had all of these incredibly strong emotions that kept bubbling over (at the most inopportune times I might add) and I could not make sense of them.
Grieve the loss of life as we knew it, the loss of control, the loss of being able to protect my child, the loss of his presence in our home, the loss of who he was before he entered the gates of Fort Benning, the loss of my normal!
The same is true for the families back home. While our loved ones are away, acclimating to their new lives as soldiers, we also are undergoing our own initiation period, adjusting to our new identities as military mothers and fathers and wives and children. The shock of this new life is not absorbed more easily just because we have the comforts of home and other family and friends around us. The loss is just the same. Letting go - of our sons and daughters, of our control, of our old lives - requires the courage of a warrior and the endurance of a marathoner. We need to understand that we are at the beginning of a long and steep road.
And when you see your child in their uniform you are going to be so incredibly proud that you'll feel like you will burst. He (or she) will return to you more complete, more confident and sure of himself, and more appreciative of his family.
Rick,
My son is trying to join up now. I will walk through your shoes as well. Stay strong brother. They will come home to you as men. Just look forward to their stories and experiences and how proud they will be to tell you about them
My son had to be at Meps in Harrisburg 6/29 flew out today to be in Fort Sill tonight.. I have lost a lot in my life but I do have to say this ripped my heart out..
His never been away from but a few times and I am lost but so proud of him.. We will share in our fine young men
them having BCT together may they left one another..
I thought I have prepared for the day when he left. He had 3 layovers and each time he sent messages. I can feel he was missing home already so I kept reminding him to build friendship with the other kids. And yes, who knows our sons will become friends, ???
Thank you for this. I am pleased that I have come across this website and I will definitely buy the book. My son is 17 and is joining the Royal Marine Commandos (UK) and leaves in a week. We have always been behind him as this has been his career focus since he was 12 years old. He has dedicated the last year to pass his tests and we are so proud of him. But, I am struggling to mam6age my feelings and emotions and my heart is heavy and bursting all at the same time. We are a very close family and we will all miss him very much especially his younger brother. I appreciate the honesty and advice.
Your story sounds like a repeat of our own! Our son spent the last few weeks hanging out with his friends, going on trips, etc. and he went straight infantry as well. You can do this! I will send you some resources via email. Thanks so much for taking a moment to share your story!
Bless you, Judy. What a whirlwind ride! Our prayers are with you and your soldier. I have a son-in-law that serves as well who is currently deployed. It is tough to have them so far away and not be able to see them for such a long period of time. I am thankful that we have modern conveniences such as internet and cell phones to keep in touch with them! I cannot imagine how hard it was for families before those things! Thanks so much for sharing your story!
Yes, definitely exactly my story. I feel like I just read about myself and what I have experienced in the last 9 months since my son joined the military! My son is now on deployment and I have never prayed so much in my life as I do now! Counting down the days when I will get to see my son. You have beautifully written on point what we all experience and go through when our children have joined the military. Thank you for sharing your story and helping us all feel like we are not alone in our new roles as military parents.
This resonates so much with me (I read this with tears streaming down my face). My youngest son left for basic nearly five years ago, and has also served a nine month deployment. All that time away was so, so hard. I spent many sleepless nights and cried buckets of tears. Even with all of that, I am so grateful to be able to watch my son make this journey.
Can I tell you how grateful I am to have found this post?? Today my son announced he will leave for Fort Benning August 13. My mind has been racing ever since. He is 19 years old. I am already lamenting Christmas without him since it is also his birthday:(
Thank you so much for the raw words of encouragement and the book recommendation.
Julie,
Thank you for your post. My son is leaving for Benning and is going to RASP as well. How did your son do? Did he make it? Can you tell me anything about his experiences in RASP? Just so worried and he had to go and make it scarier by adding the Ranger option. Would love to hear how your son did!
Blessings
Thank you for sharing your story and letting us know that it is normal all these feelings that we are feeling. I bawled while reading this. My son will be leaving July 3, for basic training. I am proud of him and his decision, but so scared of the unknown. It is totally different than sending my daughter to college, knowing that she was only a phone call away. Thank you again for your post.
I love your note, my son got to Fort Benning on June 19th and the idea of losing control over his safety is what what keeps me up all night. He is 17 and before he went we got to go to the beach and got to see him play with his sister in the ocean for hours at the time, they are still our babies.
Thank you for your post. I have truly enjoyed it. I have three boys who are on different career paths and I have been one emotional mother the past few weeks. I have one son who is working, my youngest began his first day of college today, and my middle son will be leaving for basic training September 10, 2018.
While I am so proud of his decision to serve our country, I cry every night as the time draws near for him to leave.
I have tried to prepare myself for this day but I do not believe this is something a mother can prepare for. In your post you stated you could me find support groups of other military moms. Could you send me these groups? I would love to connect with them and get tips of how each one survived basic and AIT training.
I can definitely relate! My son was also in BCT for his 20th birthday. It was a HARD day, but we made up for it over family weekend with lots of cake and presents. Hugs and prayers for you mama. Hang in there!
Hi April,
Your comment really got me. My son is delaying college, but played football throughout junior high and high school. Those are some of my best memories, sharing his football days. We do the same kind of things texting each other on game days. I am so going to miss those texts. Hope your son is doing well
Chris
But reading these posts of others who are experiencing the same thing is very helpful. May God bless all of you and your children. Thank you for the posts. These will keep my wife and me encouraged during this time.
I came across this at work on pinterest so I am sitting here wiping tears. My son is 19 and has been talking about joining the Army since he was 13. I thought I was prepared for this but as he prepares to leave for boot camp in 2 weeks I realize no one is prepared for this. I loved your article and I will purchase the book. My daughter is planning on leaving for boot after she graduates in May. The Lord has a plan for my children and I know he will keep them safe.
Thanks for all the experiences for letting your child go. My 22 yewr old son leave for ft jackson on feb 5. I know it will come faster then i like. I c have cried on and off for weeks since he enlisted and he hasnt left yet. I know it will be hard but my faith in god will sustain me. He is my youngest of two and only son. He contemplated since high school but decided to try community college and many part time jobs. He decided finall 7 months ago he was preparing to enlist. My heart dropped although i and his dad totally supporg his decision and career. Thanks for the posts nuch needed. God bless you all in this journey. 152ee80cbc
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