Whether because of shyness, lack of interest or a desire to preserve romantic mystery, many couples do not ask each other the difficult questions that can help build the foundation for a stable marriage, according to relationship experts.
With the question of children, it is important to not just say what you think your partner wants to hear, according to Debbie Martinez, a divorce and relationship coach. Before marrying, couples should honestly discuss if they want children. How many do they want? At what point do they want to have them? And how do they imagine their roles as parents? Talking about birth-control methods before planning a pregnancy is also important, said Marty Klein, a sex and marriage therapist.
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Marriage is a big step in pretty much any relationship, and it's important to be ready. Having the right conversations can help ensure that you are, so start with these 100 questions to ask before marriage.
Getting married is the ultimate statement about the commitment and love you have for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, but love isn't always enough. There are questions to ask before marriage that go beyond love - stuff like whether you want kids, how you deal with conflicts, your deepest beliefs, the way you handle finances, and what you expect from your extended family. So set aside some time to get comfy with your partner and explore these 100+ questions to ask before marriage.
It's okay if you or your partner doesn't know the answer to these questions. You might not even be sure you want kids. The point is having the conversation before marriage and getting to know how each of you think about important parenting-related stuff.
Anyone who has been a relationship for a while knows that conflict is a normal part of it. It's how you deal with the conflict that matters. Make sure you're going to have a healthy relationship by dealing with these pre-marriage questions about conflict.
Your values can matter a lot in a marriage. They don't necessarily need to be the same, but they do need to line up. Value-related topics to discuss before marriage include religion, politics, social issues, and more. Basically, you need to jump right into all those topics that are off-limits when you first meet someone. These are just a few questions to ask a fianc before you get serious about marriage:
Even if you think you and your partner share the same cultural or religious background, you might be surprised at some of their answers to these questions. That's okay. A lot of the time, you can use your communication skills to find a middle ground.
Money, debt, and finances are important things to talk about before marriage too. If you're already living together, you might have had some of these conversations as part of that. Still, it's good to ask anyway and make sure you're both clear on where you stand when it comes to money. Start with these questions:
Don't forget to have fun too; get to know your partner even better through lighter questions. Find out what your future spouse thinks by including some entertainment and lifestyle points in your list of questions for couples:
In-laws can be a source of conflict in marriage, especially if you haven't talked about things ahead of time. There's no way to anticipate every challenge you might face related to extended family, but you can include some family and relation topics among the 100 questions to ask your partner.
Family health and personal medical information might not be the first thing you think to ask your partner, but these are some important topics to discuss before marriage. Start with these questions you should ask your future spouse.
Over 100 topics to talk about might be a lot, but you can learn a lot from these questions - including what your future partner thinks about marriage and relationships. This is important stuff, so don't leave it out.
Before getting married, be sure that you and your partner are comfortable with your individual and shared goals. Get to know what your partner thinks by checking out even more fun questions and conversation starters:
Thoughtful questions deserve thoughtful replies, which aren't necessarily going to come instantly. If you and your partner are seriously considering a commitment, set aside some time to have these conversations before marriage so you can be sure of what you both think and feel. Even if you have a long list of deep questions to ask your girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner before you get engaged, this will give you plenty of opportunities to gauge whether marriage should be the next step in your relationship.
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