She had ridden the thin edge of sanity with barking in her ears the entire way from Maryland. Safe from the humidity outside, Sydney was ready to sink her teeth into anything off the South Carolina diner menu.
Crowding the corner booth were the two undergrads, her step-brother, and her roommate. A family of friends she and her partner had brought together and were now making the trip down to Atlanta for a gathering of other lycanthropes. It was too long of a trip. What kept her from baring her fangs at the group was the promise her partner had made.
Sonny would meet them at his grandmother’s house outside the city. More unscheduled overtime kept him from being on the road with them. Sympathy for him, but this left Sydney to lead the cramped van of her barking werewolves to Georgia. She endured this headache, best she could.
Sydney flipped the single sided, holding her tongue on the current group argument of pro-werewolf publicity. It wouldn’t be out of place at the gathering, but in a public diner, surrounded by the early evening crowd and a server at the booth just next to them, she drummed her nails waiting for the next topic.
“Look, it’s about visibility,” the scruffy blond across from Sydney said. Luke’s legs knocked into hers, making ripples in the group’s water glasses. “You get someone, like a politician or a news anchor and she transforms on live TV.”
“Then she’s arrested for being a goddamn monster,” Valérie sitting beside him said. She pulled her baseball cap a little lower. “You know how that’ll go over.”
“Wait, is that really illegal though?” Rafe asked. Drowning in his hoodie, he was the youngest of the group, and if he hadn't invited along, the trip would go smoother. The entire drive from Maryland he struggled to keep his lycanthropy in check. But, as Sydney had been reassured, this trip would be invaluable learning for him—all at the cost of her patience.
“Yeah, do wolf cops arrest you for that?” Amber smirked, happy to listen to these werewolves go back and forth. Despite being an honorary pack member, it took Sydney’s convincing and Sonny’s permission for the human to snag a spot in the van. But Sydney was relieved to have her here—she’d never transform.
Sydney glared at Luke for starting on this. He should know better, and policing his and Rafe’s lycanthropy the most, the voice of reason was hoarse. Making sure they hadn't slipped into a transformation or snuck their lupine feature out to show. Sydney leashed her frustration and told them calmly, “The police—regular police wouldn’t arrest a werewolf. They’d kill them.”
“Maybe true,” Luke started, “but it’s like jaywalking, or loitering; there’s not an actual law against us, so why don’t we get someone in office.”
“What shit examples,” Valérie derided. Rarely did she agree with Sydney. How to run the pack, who to invite for the gathering; she made her opinions known. But both werewolves were together in wanting their talkative member to shut up. “The last thing you want is us used in some campaign.
“Okay, but all I’m saying is that until I can walk around or relax anywhere in my fur, it's just not right.” Luke sat back in the booth, certainty in his nonsense, “Val, even you can agree with that.”
“What do you think you'll be doing at the retreat?” Sydney asked, between glances at the other diners and servers for any eavesdropping. Someone connecting this group’s silver eye and loud topic could out them all. Her paranoia couldn’t rest.
“Oh!” Amber’s face lit up. She nudged Sydney, “you didn’t tell me this was the kind of convention you dress up for!”
“Why would we dress up as a wolf?” Valérie snapped. “Do you dress up as yourself? This is why this gathering is our thing.”
What excitement there was faded when she tilted her head and her bouffant brown curls veiled her face.
“Don’t look so sad?” She pulled Amber close by her shoulders, “I said, our thing that means you too!”
Sydney wanted to shush them. Get their orders placed and get back on the road. Hours from their destination, stopping somewhere for the night wasn’t in the budget. The drive ahead of them was a better place for this noise.
“Exactly!” Luke similarly grabbed Rafe and held up his glass of water. “Here’s to our new members!” He had let yellow fuzz sprout on his arms and his neck, early signs of his lycanthropy.
Sydney cleared her throat, and spoke through clenched teeth, “can we not be talking about this in some public diner?” She pointed her fingers behind her ears, “can we not be transforming in the booth! We get our bite to eat and get gone, understood?”
They spread apart, and took up their menu quietly. Sydney could sympathize, she was ready for a vacation, and they’d have fun once they got to Sonny’s grandmother’s house, but until then they needed some restraint.
How were they going to show the other wolves at the gathering they were an established pack if they couldn’t be mindful of what to talk about in public? Soon the wait-staff collected their orders and let them feast on simple conversation without the mention of werewolves.
Sizzling on open skillets, their meat-heavy meal tantalized the group’s ears and stomachs, though Amber’s senses weren’t heightened enough to enjoy the smell. The pack alpha noticed Rafe seemed more withdrawn than normal. He was visibly human, a relief, but she asked him directly if he was all right.
He muttered something inaudible to everyone. Valerie repeating her Sydney’s question in a low demanding tone.
“Yes! I’m fine, please,” Rafe cried. He lifted his head; his face grew red as the rash over the bridge of his changing nose. He was slipping; tiny black stubble was appearing on him as his breathing picked up.
Rafe had to know no one at the table believed him. Stung by his sister’s disapproving gaze, he threw his hood up, his claws getting stuck in the fabric. This diner wouldn’t cope with an involuntarily transformed werewolf.
At his alpha’s request, Luke led his pack member out of the booth and into the men’s room. As they both left, Sydney leaned on her elbows, sighing into her tented hands.
Once they were gone, Valérie slid out of the booth, “Okay, let’s go.”
“Sit down.” Even as a joke, Sydney wasn’t going to humor her.
“Fine, but answer this: why did he come again?” Valérie asked, fanning herself with her hat. “Honest question.”
“Because it’ll be a good experience for him,” Sydney repeated what Sonny had told her, “He didn’t grow up with werewolf parents, so he could learn a lot from us.” If any of you were worth learning from Sydney was tempted to add.
“I think it’s nice!” Amber said, remaining positive, “Bringing your little brother to the gather-thing—and me too. He’s probably just nervous, ‘cause you all grew up knowing who you were: Wolf.”
“Yeah, well I’m nervous he’s gonna put us all in the news.” Valérie snarled.
Sentiments Sydney shared. Keeping Rafe’s lycanthropy secret on top of everyone else’s was a heavy toll. The rest of the trip had already flashed before Sydney’s eyes leaving a headache. She could only sigh in anticipation for the rest of it.
Their food came before Rafe and Luke returned from the bathroom. Tall burgers surrounded by fries rested in front of Sydney, but she caught herself looking over at the pulled pork Valérie had started on.
When they did, Rafe was still huddled in their jacket with their hood up. Head down, his eyes were covered by his mop of black hair. Sydney almost felt sorry for him, and between bites of her cheeseburger she debated saying something to her brother.
Rafe assured them he was all right now. And Luke was talkative as ever leading them away from speaking on the younger werewolf’s near slip up. The group moved on.
Sydney swallowed her concern for Rafe in a bite of her burger. It was a conversation better left to Sonny. He would know what to say and how to handle this group. The pack had a long drive ahead of them if they wanted to avoid sleeping in a parking lot.
-
Amber welcomed the air-conditioned motel room with open arms. Behind her, Sydney lugged both their suitcases into the room. The women felt the sweat on their backs freeze as they entered and were hit with a chemical stench so clear even Amber’s nose scrunched. They tread the worn mahogany carpet that Sydney could see long blonde strands of hair lying about. Uncomfortably refreshing.
Sydney had dipped into her account for this two-bed suite right off the highway. The pack was verbally appreciative, but they weren’t footing any bill. Sydney batted the thought from her mind. They had a room to sleep in for the night, that was what mattered, she concluded.
Amber dropped onto the bed, while Sydney inspected the stuffed chair in the corner. Holes burnt into the arms, she could see the yellow filling. Reluctantly, she slumped into the seat.
“Not exactly the comfiest,” Amber said, bouncing on the garish sheets. She lifted the comforter demonstrating how threadbare it was. After a check for stains Amber laid back, “but, hey, a bed’s a bed!”
Sydney couldn't muster the energy for a reply. She kept one silver eye on the door, anticipating more arguing between her members.
“Ugh, is that our room?” Valérie proclaimed on cue.
Amber covered her face in her arms. “Here they come,” she said. Even her glow of positivity had worn thin.
Valérie grimaced in the doorway, “How can y’all stand this stink?” She was empty-handed and quickly threw open the window. “This is really the best we could do, huh?”
Sydney held out her arms, presenting the result of her unbudgeted spending. “Best I could do.”
“Whatever. Thanks,” Valérie perched herself on the side of the other bed, “I'll take this window spot, then.”
“Oh, c’mon, it ain't that bad!” Luke called. He and Rafe entered the room carrying their overstuffed backpacks and Valérie’s many suitcases. Luke tossed the luggage near her, and dropped his onto the floor. “So where’re we sleeping, Syd?”
“Fuck if I care.” Valérie quipped, picking up her bags, “and don’t thow my stuff around!”
“Then you carry it, how ‘bout?” Luke surveyed the room. With everyone inside Sydney admitted it was cramped, “How nice! Okay, so women get that bed, men on this one.”
“No, Sydney and Amber have their bed, I'm on this one. Dogs can sleep on the floor.” Valérie added with a motion of her fingers, “Rafe you can have the chair or something.”
“Cool! Fine by me! I’ll sleep right here.” Luke hopped down between the two beds. He started taking his tank top off, “But so you know, I like to sleep naked, with the window open.”
Rafe gave his alpha a concerned expression that highlighted the red butterfly-shaped mark across his nose. Tired, Sydney knew she should step in and flex her leadership. She rose from the chair, but Rafe spoke first, “No, it’s okay! I can sleep in the car or something so I don't bother anyone.” The younger werewolf backed out of the room, “Luke, you can have the chair.”
“Hang on! Fine, fine, we’ll be outside in the car, happy?” Luke put his arm around Rafe and exited. “Ladies—and Valérie, you three have a good night.”
Valérie slammed the door after them. “So really, why did we even let them come on this trip?”
“We didn't do anything,” Sydney began, standing by her partner’s decision, “I and Sonny wanted the pack to be there—together. And when we get to Atlanta can we not be arguing over a sleeping arrangement at his grandma’s?”
“Whatever. You know, a trip with just us women would’ve been cool too.” Valérie got out a change of pajamas from her suitcase. “Or hey, maybe we could’ve just flown there and not have to deal with a fucking road trip.”
Her mind ran through the scenario. Rafe teetering on the verge of transforming while hundreds of feet in the air. Luke and Valérie one rogue comment from breaking out their claws on each other. And that’s assuming they make it past gate security before someone calls werewolf on the terminal. Sydney felt glad she could barely cover this single night’s motel room, much less a plane ticket.
“I think Sydney wouldn’t like that.” Amber said of her friend’s total silence. “Besides, it’s the journey not the destination, right?”
“Nah, Fortune Cookie, that’s not how it works.” Valérie shook her head, “Look, mark a calendar, after this whole debacle’s over, we three take a few days.”
Take a few days and do what, and go where? These and other specifics were Amber’s rapid-fire questions to their sleepwear-changing pack member.
“Doesn’t matter,” was all Valérie said. She got under the covers, “We could go basically anywhere. I got family in France, go there or something. Sleep on it, all right? G’night.”
It was the best idea out of her cherry-glossed mouth all night, and soon the alpha and Amber joined her in much-needed rest.
-
Sydney couldn't say what rattled her from a dreamless sleep. This crown of leadership that made her neck ache, the presence of Amber where her alpha should be, the open-mouth snoring from the next bed, or the rest of this road trip; in all cases she was awake with these thoughts.
Sprawled out, Valérie muttered and snarled between breathy gasps. In her pill-aided slumber Amber remained still beneath the sheets. Sydney stared at the ceiling, not needing werewolf eyes to see the dust and smoke stains. She missed Sonny. Fitting her boots and throwing on her red windbreaker, she slipped out of the room.
The night had barely cooled off out on the narrow balcony. Sydney leaned against their room door. Her mind roamed as she looked out the miles of treetops beyond the parking lot. Looming overhead, the moon drifted in a calm sea of night.
He would meet them there; she grounded herself on that belief. Once they got to Atlanta, maybe the other wolves would be easier to manage, and if they didn’t she would have the other alpha backing her. Sydney exhaled; she could relax once the journey was over. She dialed for his number. Time zones, he was only an hour behind and likely in bed at this hour. His voicemail was a poor substitute to vent to, but a substitute she welcomed. He picked up after the third ring.
“Hey Syd,” Deep and certain as an ocean to her, Sonny’s voice came through “Ain’t it a bit late?”
“Yeah, so what’re you doing up?”
He mumbled something below her lycanthropic hearing. But she could assume, and hated what she concluded.
“You promised,” Sydney reminded him in a dry tone.
“Delta promised! I put in my requests, double and triple checked with them and I still get some desperate...!” He paused, changed his tune and apologized to Sydney, “It’s being worked out.”
“Convention starts tomorrow night,” she said, “Are you still coming?”
“At a hotel. Still in Chicago.” Sonny had to speak over Sydney’s reaction. “But Grandma will still let the rest of you stay with her! She’ll welcome you guys with open arms.”
“But you won't!” Sydney was huddled against the door, alone. Her words echoed in the lot below, and all that her phone replied with was distant dramatized crime chatter.
“Please go to the convention,” Sonny eventually broke his silence, “go because your pack wants to be there. How are they, you gotta keep me up to date.”
She held her tongue. A chill embraced her, while she sat out here in her pajama shirt and pants. Expressing any of the past hours since leaving their home state seemed impossible now. Sydney finally answered, looking to hang up, “They're sleep.”
“Sleep like a good night, or did they knock each other out?” He joked.
“Good night,” Sydney ended he call, her skin prickling in warm night. She resisted an urge to transform right here, breathing the moment out in a long sigh. The trip was cancelled for all Sydney cared. If they all couldn't be together, why bother. She'd drive them back to Maryland, or find her own ride home if she had to.
Gazing down at the few cars in the lot below, her rental van stood out among them. Not by its make or model or plates, but because Luke’s hirsute foot was dangling out the driver side window. Through the windshield’s glare, Sydney saw him looking back. He waved two fingers up at her. How much had he overheard with lupine ears? She felt hot and stormed down to find out.
“Good morning Miss Alpha,” Luke greeted her. He was reclined in the driver's seat while a mass of black fur and beige skin resided in the back.
Bright silver eyes—her brother’s eyes starkly contrasted his lupine appearance. Rafe’s patchy fur had the family resemblance to Sydney, and covered on the arms, legs and collar. From beneath his shaggy hair, the tips of his lupine-like ears peeked out. Rafe barked a hello, his voice rougher from being fully transformed.
Their boldness startled her, “What do you think you're doing?” Sydney demanded in a hushed voice. She got took the shotgun seat, ready to hear their excuse.
“Syd, don’t worry about it.” Luke said, the cheerfulness of his voice had gone flat, “An’ nobody out here, plus he’s in the back, so no one should care. Besides he needed this.”
Anger seeped into her mind. Her novice brother needed to learn proper control over his transformations. A werewolf that couldn’t handle themselves was a liability, as this trip proved. Sydney got worked up from thinking about it, she held herself in check, but her silence spoke for her.
“He’s stressed!” Luke continued, “He’s nervous since he’s rolling with us veteran wolves, his alpha woman sister, and meeting wolves from all over in Atlanta! So it's just, he can't control his excitement, plus you keep yelling at him.”
“I haven’t yelled at him or anyone this entire trip,” Sydney retorted, measuring her volume, “not yet. But I should've the way you both nearly revealed yourselves.”
“See, you're stressed too!” Luke sat his seat up, “You need to go turn for a moment? We can drive out and—”
“Look, I only came down here to tell you,” She hesitated, second guessing her hasty decision. No one would be happy. Sydney could almost hear them rejecting the plan. They could still have their vacation, but Sydney was counting herself out. Let Valérie take them like she openly wanted.
“Actually, Syd, you hungry? I’m hungry, Rafe how about you?” Luke said, taking advantage of her slight pause. He assumed a yes and drove them onto the highway before anyone could object. “We’ll get a bite and you can tell that after.”
The pack alpha exhaled, thinking on a clear way to break the news to the pack. She couldn’t imagine relaxing on this trip. A trip that, on reflection, was inherently for Sonny; staying with his family, at the convention they would be asking about him, about his werewolf counseling group, Delta. Any fun she and the others had contrasted by the thought of her partner stuck staring at a ghastly blue screen writing proposals and HTML.
Rafe put a clawed hand on his sister’s shoulder, breaking her concentration. He asked what was wrong, in that distorted way a muzzle allowed.
“See!” Luke pointed his thumb over at her. The fuzzy start of a pelt had snuck onto her wrist. He said, “you’re more strung out than the rest of us! Tell you what: daybreak, you get Val to drive the rest of the way.”
“No, I need you to drive us back.” Sydney ordered. She brushed away the hair from herself. She brought her wolfish face back into their normal human shape painlessly.
Luke kept his hands on the wheel and dismissed his alpha, “Oh c’mon, you won't let us sleep in the room, won't let us go out for a midnight run! I’m telling you, you need—”
“Turn this damn car around.” Her hand twitched, the fur reappearing about her knuckles. Fangs barred at the driver, Sydney desperately resisted a full scale transformation and the urge to force the van onto the shoulder herself if Luke didn’t oblige.
Once the vehicle stopped on the shoulder Sydney jumped out, slamming the door. Shedding the excess lupine hair, her boots crunched on the dirt as walked. Sharp inhales through her nose weren’t calming her. This was what she had to look forward to. These wolves didn’t listen to her, and once they were in the other packs’ presence how would this group look? Sydney heard the van door close.
Rafe stepped forward, his fur filled out his loose clothes. As the wolf, he towered over his sister, more than when he was human. Despite his werewolf pelt and size, he was still visibly gaunt, and moved like the shy young man he was. He shouted to her with sad silver eyes, “What’s wrong?”
“The trip is done,” Sydney flatly said, “taking any of you to any meet-up is cancelled!” She ignored Luke rolling his eyes and Rafe’s agape jaw. New determination and the day’s frustration kept her talking, “We go back to the motel, and in the morning I’m going back to Towson. Keep the car, hitch a bus ride, I cannot care, but this whole thing is over!”
Each word left a sour taste in her mouth, and her breathing shallow. Sydney avoided her pack member’s gaze and unable to keep still, stomped off down the road. Behind her, she heard Rafe shift on the gravel, but Luke told him to leave her alone. Sydney walked until the headlights began to dim and dirt turnoff that sloped into the fortress of trees. She was now alone with her thoughts.
Regret piled onto her shoulders. That wasn’t fair, robbing them of the chance to see the East coast werewolf gathering. Yet, she felt adamant about her choice. Like a cold shell formed along her skin and pressed tight on her throat. Her thoughts were little to comfort her.
Trudging along, Sydney freely transformed her eyes and ears. The muted colors of the overcast night suddenly popped with green foliage and the pale bark of corridors of trees. She saw the path curve around, leading away from a black, flooded fen. No railings here to have caught her if she kept going straight. Sydney was thankful for her lycanthropy in that regard, though she cursed the smell of rot and standing water that came to her improved sense of smell.
The road opened up into an empty lot at the foot of a hill. Sydney spied a plaque ahead of her, able to read it from where she was, “Aberdeen Beach.” She pondered for a minute under a flickering street lamp. She should head back and properly explain herself, but the image their puppy dog eyes made her appreciate the solitude. A short hike was better than the tension waiting for her in the van.
Sydney climbed the steep wooden steps leading to the hilltop. She’d take a quick glance at the beach, since she was here. A short exhale exited her mouth at the sight. Black as the sky, the lights of houses on the other side of the lake glittered on its waving surface. Up at the peak, a barbecue pit and a couple benches invited her to take a seat. She surveyed the serene vastness of the body of water, and sure enough a grey shore was at the bottom of the slope.
When she fished her phone from her pocket, she bit her lips together making a call. Before she went back to the others, one person needed to know her plan.
“Hey,” Sonny answered, sounding hollow, “Ain’t it still a bit late?”
“We’ve been through this.”
“It’s a long drive down there isn’t it?” Sonny said, “unless you’ll a have one of them drive.”
Sydney paused, her words on the tip of her tongue. Was she ready for a fight at this hour? He’d hate her decision, but he wasn’t here to stop her if she pursued it.
“I’m only saying you should get some rest,” he continued, “because once you get to Gran’ma’s that next day is wild.”
Sydney prolonged her plan a little longer, instead asking, “Why’s that?”
“The opening ceremonies!” Sonny’s voice became more lively, like caffeine hit him now, “I've told you, the real event is outside the city. Barbecues going, music’s playin’, lycanthropes of all shapes dancing… all under the full moon—well it wasn’t a full moon when I went but…”
Sonny trailed off, leaving her thoughts to churn and roll like the waves on the lake. Sydney hadn’t needed much convincing when she first heard of the gathering, and she found it hard to stick with her decision hearing Sonny hype it up. When he spoke again the tired timbre of his was back.
“You’ll love it, all of you will,” Sonny said, “it’ll be a chance to relax. Kick your paws up and just enjoy being around your fellow wolf.” When she didn’t respond, he apologized. “This was gonna be our trip, I know, but this will still be your first time. Your maiden voyage.”
Sydney focused on the beach. She didn't have an argument against him. It was selfish not to go, more expensive to route her way home while the pack went on.
“Still there?” He asked, “Sorry, I’m rambling.”
“No, you’re right. It’ll be good. Even if you can’t be there.” Sydney started down to the beach. The trip was back on, and Sonny would never know how close it was dissolving. Before she hung up she told him, “Next month, we’ll have a vacation. Alphas only.”
“Where are you thinking?” A yawn cut through his words, “Where you wanna go?”
“Doesn’t matter, just a getaway. Sleep on it, kay?” Sydney said. After her good-byes she whispered an honest, “thank you.”
Down on the beachfront, she exhaled. She removed her boots and felt the sea-sprayed sand. More soothing than chilling. Her lycanthropy welled up inside her, as her silver eyes watched the waves carry distant lights with their ebb and flow. She let herself submerge into the spreading black fur down her legs and along her arms. Stretching, Sydney’s nails grew out into claws and her stubby tail slid from under her pajama shirt and jacket.
Sydney flexed the muscles she had been repressing, finally feeling calm in night. She finalized and her stress was left behind in her human visage. Scents far and near came to her fully lupine nose. Not just the stray overwhelming lake before her, or the subtle burnt meat clinging to barbecue racks, but all the way to the rental van’s stark citrus air fresheners.
A familiar smell approached, just up the hill. She didn’t need a visual to know Rafe was pawing his way down to her. Sydney asked him, with a huskier voice, “How much did you hear?”
“Hear what?” Rafe rose to two legs, “But I’m sorry. This is my fault, isn’t it? I’m the one that shouldn’t be going, not you.” He talked pleaded, “I can call my mom or my brother or something and get picked up. You and the others can have fun at the gathering!”
Sydney stepped out of the water, shaking the water from her furred ankles. She tied her boots together, “I spoke with Sonny, and since he can’t make it, he wants all of us to represent there. Even you.”
He stuttered an excuse, but she waved him down. Sydney tilted her head, motioning for Rafe to follow. Carried the laces in her mouth, she crouched in the sand like a track runner and in a second she took off. With the speed of her werewolf physique and an unburdened mind, she dashed along the path back up to the main road.
Rafe caught up to her as she made the turn, and kept running when she stopped at the shoulder. Sydney saw the high-beams ahead of her. She grabbed at her brother, yanking him from the asphalt and fell back.
A police cruiser zipped past; oblivious it seemed to the roadside werewolves. Rafe scrambled to his paws. He huffed, watching the red taillights continue onward. Sydney dusted herself off and strode back to the van, boots in hand and more aware of her surroundings.
Luke shouted, running out of the van to his alpha and pack member, “Are you guys okay?”
Rafe moved beside him, shaken by the almost-accident, but he answered with a nod of shaggy head.
“This is why he doesn’t need to just transform,” Sydney growled, “but needs to learn how to control and use his ability!” But her better nature took control, “The kind of things they’ll teach him at the convention.”
“Oh we’re allowed to go?” Luke asked with sarcasm.
“Yes, we’re allowed and going.” Sydney got into the driver’s seat and shifted enough that she could comfortably drive. She would keep the lupine features a little longer, “you both said you were hungry. I could go for a bite to eat.”
“Yeah, but won’t you be tired going the rest of the way tomorrow?” Rafe asked, as he got in on the passenger side while Luke took the backseat.
The alpha shook her head, “Nah, we’ll sleep and have Valérie chauffer us.” Sydney drove off, sensing the others’ relief and anticipation for the convention. Sensations she also had, that she didn’t try to hide.