Kumbhakarna's Favorite Recipes

(Image: Kumbhakarna attacks Rama's Allies Souce: Google Images

(Author's note: Kumbhakarna is one of my favorite characters in the Ramayana. On the surface, he's this giant who eats everything– kinda the stereotypical monster. But he's much more unique than that; the story describes him as very intelligent and possesses good character, but his curse causes him to do terrible things. I haven't read about many creatures who are enormous and ravenous, but also possess great wisdom, so I had to explore Kumbhakarna as a character. I thought it would be funny to write a story about Kumbhakarna's favorite recipes, seeing as he's the hungriest creature I've ever read about. I am a huge fan of cooking– I've been reading cookbooks since middle school, and I've gotten much more into cooking since I've come to college and had to start cooking for myself. I haven't dabbled with many extravagant recipes, but I've inhaled many food documentaries and cooking shows. I've tried to channel my obsession with food culture into this story. I started with a small biography of Kumbhakarna, and I tried to format the overall structure of the story as though it was a food blog. The recipes are structured as though they were on Allrecipes.com, which is the site that I normally use. I hope you guys enjoy the story!)

Chef Kumbhakarna is the brother of Ravana, the demon king of Lanka. At a young age, Kumbhakarna was considered by many to be the greatest warrior of his age. When Kumbhakarna reached the height of his power, the god Indra tricked him into asking Brahma to grant him deep slumber. Kumbhakarna was to sleep six months at a time, only able to spend one day awake in that time.

Ravana lost a brother that day, but the food community gained a new top chef because all Kumbhakarna wants to do during his one day awake is eat. When you're the brother of the greatest demon king, you've got to do something to distinguish yourself in some way. Kumbhakarna decided to become the greatest culinary mind of ancient India. They say never trust a skinny chef. Well, Kumbhakarna is the heftiest creature on the entire planet. Please don't actually trust him though; he will eat you.

Chef Kumbhakarna is traditionally fed by the servants of his household as pictured above, but he sometimes likes to shake things up a bit. Kumbhakarna doesn't use a traditional kitchen– the world is his kitchen. Luckily for him, the young prince Rama has brought a surplus of ingredients right up to his doorstep. He's going to make two of his favorite dishes and transcribe them here for his biggest fans.

Image: Kumbhakarna feats Source: Fotostock

Recipe 1: Monkey Confit

Ingredients:

300 Monkeys (Or mammal equivalent)
Salt and pepper, to taste

To make monkey confit, you must first wake up Kumbhakarna. This task is a little difficult and you will need to acquire several hundred elephants to walk on top of him and some maiden singers to serenade him. Get away quickly when he wakes up unless you want to be in the monkey confit. Chef Kumbhakarna will do the rest all by himself. First, he'll drink until he has a .34 blood alcohol level (Kumbhakarna likes to cook in the L'ivresse fashion). Next, he'll go outside to gather ingredients. Once he's accumulated about twenty dozen Vanara monkeys (a delicacy in Lanka), he'll eat them all. The salt ingredient is optional and naturally gathered through the tears of his ingredients. There you have it, quel oiseau magnifique! A perfect monkey confit.

Recipe 2: Lakshmana a la Shish Kabab

Ingredients:

1 Lakshmana (Or any widely accepted substitute– a buff man)
1 Javelin
Salt and pepper, to taste
Saffron as a garnish

Kumbhakarna enjoys the finer things in life and sometimes he has an appetite of a more royal disposition. Luckily for him, he's got two princes to choose from: Lakshmana and Rama. He decides on Lakshmana and begins the cooking process (step 1: throw javelin step 2: enjoy). The ingredients aren't being particularly cooperative. Rama shoots several arrows ar Kumbhakarna and things are not looking good for our cannibal giant. Kumbhakarna makes one last attempt to finish the dish, but Rama shoots an arrow straight into his heart. Even though the Kharnavores have lost their favorite chef and food enthusiasts everywhere have lost a giant of the cooking world– we still got his final and greatest recipe, thanks to Prince Rama. Kumbhakarna a la Shish Kebab voila.

Wilson, Richard. "Rama's Quest."

Image: Defeat of Kumbhakarna Source: Wikipedia