On 30th June in 2015, the evening before the morning of 1st July 2015 when my father died I got an understanding from God about His love and the purpose of humans.
The greatest characteristic of God is His love. If we could imagine an arbitrarily large vessel (much greater than the universe) or even a vessel growing at the speed of light, the love of God is so big that it would overflow this vessel at instant. It is impossible for God to be alone. He created other beings so that he could pour His love into them. God is ready to overflow us with His love if we are willing to accept it. Our sins however large they may be are negligible compared to His love. His love and mercy are so great that even if we were the greatest sinners, if we regret our sins and ask Him for forgiveness, He will forgive us at instant without any wavering so that he could fill us with His love.
Maybe you searched Him, but could not find Him. Do not worry, He sees your heart inside, regret your sins and you will be with Him in His kingdom forever.