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05.11.2017 · Reddit is a killer resource for dating advice . Since the many great dating subreddits have been around, however, tons of ground has been covered. And covered. And covered again. That said, we challenged ourselves to narrow down a super-short list of all-time best Reddit dating advice . Here’s our top 3 picks. #3) Top Reddit Dating Advice .
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Dating a single mom: what you should know and why it’s wonderful.
2017 estimates say that single mothers lead around 7.76% of all American households,¹ meaning that there are literally millions of single moms across America. If you date women, then, dating a single mom is a very real possibility, especially if you date women in their 30s, 40s, or 50s. So how can you make sure that you give it your best shot?
It starts with the right advice. We’ve found the five things you need to know before dating a single mom – and three reasons why doing so can change your dating life for the better.
5 things you should know before dating a single mom.
1. Know that she’s got a lot on her plate.
When you’re dating a single mom, it’s not just about you and her. This may seem obvious on nights when she has her kids – but it’s something to keep in mind during her free time too. For single moms who are juggling dating with a job and kids, free time is precious, and while she will want to spend many of her nights off with you, she’ll likely want some ‘me time’ too. No work, no kids, no dates, just Netflix and a bath (or, let’s be honest, some actual sleep!). 2 Give her space to recharge and you’ll find that the time you do spend together is better than ever!
2. Flexibility is key – even on date night.
Started dating a single parent? You’ll soon learn the importance of flexibility – and the difficulty of spontaneity. When you’re dating a single mom you can’t just whisk her away for a romantic weekend: not when she has to organize a babysitter, emergency numbers, and replacement routines. Even when you do plan something like a date night in advance, there’s always a chance a single mom may have to call it off to deal with a sick kid or cancelled sitter. 3 Be understanding, be supportive, and when she can make it, it will feel all the more precious.
3. Rethink your approach to romance.
If you meet on an online dating site or in real life, everyone has a few signature moves that they pull to impress a new date. You cook that spicy penne, you uncork a bottle of red, you put on the latest HBO megashow, bada bada bing! Or maybe you both sleep late then queue for brunch somewhere trendy, because you know that love means buying a girl overpriced avocado toast.
Or at least, that’s what you used to do. When kids are in the picture, late nights and sleep-ins are probably no longer on the cards. However, all is not lost! You just need to rethink what you consider to be romance. That mimosa-laden brunch becomes a rowdy morning at IHOP, HBO for two becomes family shows with the kids. The bonus? You may just find that sitting through yet another episode of Paw Patrol earns you bigger heart eyes than the avocado toast ever did.
4. She has romantic history. Deal with it.
Want to be a part of a single mom’s life? Then you’re going to have to deal with the fact that her ex may very likely still be around. She might have a friendly co-parenting deal, she might want her ex to step up more; either way, you’ll be expected to appreciate the presence her ex has in her life. Don’t try to outdo them or replace them and, most of all, try not to feel jealous if she spends time with them. 4 Just remind yourself that she chooses you each day.
5. Follow her lead when it comes to you and her kids.
One of the most important rules of dating single mom is to let her set the pace when it comes to her kids. When it’s early days, it’s vital that you be her partner first and a potential parent to her kids a very distant second. You may not even get to meet them until she’s sure of you, and you need to be ok with that. The flipside? Her introducing you and her kids is a true sign she’s smitten. As The Huffington Post put it, ‘’remember, if you’ve met her children, it’s the sign of all signs that she sees a future with you and most importantly, she trusts you.’’ 5.
Read more: Interested in dating a single dad? We cover the basics.
3 reasons dating a single mom can be fantastic.
1. She’s practical and doesn’t sweat the small stuff.
If there’s one thing dating a single mom teaches you, it’s that they are the definition of capable. As writer Jennifer Ball says “We bring home the bacon, we fry it up in the pan, we clean the pan…hell, we bought the pan.” 6 If you’re looking for a delicate princess who wants you to wait on her every whim, keep right on walking. But if you want a practical, can-do partner who can take on what comes her way, a single mom is a great bet.
2. Her history has taught her what it takes to be a good partner.
They say there’s no better teacher than experience, and that’s especially true when something doesn’t work out. Seeing what doesn’t work shows you what to treasure, what you’re willing to give – and what you will no longer accept. Single moms who’ve been through separation and divorce make great partners precisely because they’ve learned this lesson. Life has taught them they cannot give nor expect perfection, and as a result, they’re able to focus on the real rhythms of healthy love. 7.
Read more: taking a second shot at love? Try our guide to dating after divorce.
3. If she falls for you, it’s the real deal.
Here’s a truism: single moms are busy women. They work hard to provide for their families, while also doing everything it takes to smoothly run a household. This means those dating a single mom have to share her time and attention, but there is a flipside: it also means that’s she’s simply too busy for games. If things aren’t working out, she’s far more likely to be upfront than waste her precious time stringing anyone along. Therefore, if she lets you into her life, be proud! She definitely thinks you’re someone special. 8.
Read more: want to know if she cares? Learn the signs she likes you.
EliteSingles editorial October 2017.
Looking to date capable, interesting women? EliteSingles is the place to start! With the majority of our members aged 35+, our dating site attracts professionals, parents, and other mature Americans looking for real connections. Join them here!
How to Date a Single Mom.
Last Updated: February 6, 2020.
wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 15 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time.
This article has been viewed 31,687 times.
Dating a single mom can be difficult, especially if you have no kids yourself. Remember, they are women who have baggage, but the potential benefits of having a woman and her kids in your life outweigh the drawbacks.
Everything You Need to Know About Dating and Single Motherhood.
Your kids' feelings should be a priority, but they don't need to dictate your love life.
Single moms have a lot going on, but that doesn't mean they can't handle dating and romance. Whether you're a single mom looking to get back out into the dating pool, or someone who is trying to find the right way to ask out a single mom, these expert tips will make post-divorce dating life easier — on you, and your kids.
1. Make sure the time is right.
It's hard to carve out the time and mental space for dating, but thinking it through might help you achieve clarity. "It’s important to figure out where dating falls on your priority list," says Amy Morin, LCSW, author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do . "When you’ve determined how important it is to you, your decisions about dating will become clearer. Whether you want to set aside two evenings per week or one morning each month for dating, it’s up to you."
2. Ditch the guilt.
"If you are ready to date, remind yourself that in addition to being a mother, you are first and foremost a woman with a wide variety of wants and needs," says Jaclyn Friedenthal, Psy.D, of the Thrive Psychology Group. "Desiring a fulfilling romantic life does not mean you're selfish; it means you are a thriving, healthy woman. Though finding time as a single parent can be challenging, remind yourself that you deserve to have your wants and needs met. Plus, your happiness may allow you to be a more attentive, present, and loving parent."
3. Don't keep your kids a secret.
You'll want any potential dates to know up front that you have kids — obscuring the fact will only waste your time in the long run. "Don’t apologize or feel the need to explain why you are a single parent," Dr. Friedenthal says. "You want people to like you for you, not a fabricated version of yourself. You are enough!"
4. Consider your dealbreakers.
This helps you save some effort, automatically weeding out people who will be unsuitable for your life. "Know your values and be aware of the type of person you are hoping to attract," Morin says. "How important is someone’s schedule, income, or family?" Then if you're planning on dating online, make sure it works for you to find people by these criteria. "Use a site or app that has a reputation in your city for what you are looking for, or where you can filter your matches by your 'non-negotiables,'" Dr. Friedenthal says.
5. Focus on those first few dates.
It might be hard to push away thoughts of the kids at home or the work you still have to do during your date, but it helps if you want to make a connection. "Try to be present," Dr. Friedenthal says. "If you get caught in your own thoughts or worries, try to bring your focus back to the person in front of you. Embrace the opportunity to learn about this new person and his or her interests, work, passions, and dreams — and see if this person’s values match your own."
6. Be thoughtful about introducing a new partner to your kids.
Only introduce your kids to someone you think is serious, and, even then, do it gradually. "Start by telling your kids about your partner and that you would like to introduce them," Dr. Friedenthal says. "Ask them if they have any questions. Let them know in advance about an upcoming meeting, listen to their fears, then reassure them as needed. When setting up an initial meeting, it can be helpful to all engage in a short activity in a neutral setting, so the focus is on the activity, rather than pressure to get to know your partner.
Exercise patience if your children react unfavorably and keep the lines of communication open. Children may view you dating as a threat to their time and relationship with you. Ask your kids about their feelings, truly listen to what they express verbally and nonverbally, and validate that it’s okay to feel however they feel. That said, their feelings do not need to dictate your love life. Remind your kids that they are still a top priority and that you love them unconditionally. It may be helpful to carve out special time with your kids without your partner, just as you may carve out time with your partner without your kids."
7. Keep the kids' feelings first and foremost.
No matter what, it's going to be a big change when the kids see their mom with someone new, but there are things you can do to minimize how upsetting that might be. "Limit displays of affection with your partner," Dr. Friedenthal says, "and when interacting with the child, avoid things like using nicknames the child doesn't like, teasing, or entering the child’s room without permission."
8. Make sure everyone understands their role in the kids' lives.
When a new person enters the family, is it as a friend, or a figure of authority? "Work on building a relationship with the children before attempting to step into any type of parenting role," Morin says. She also says to be wary about letting someone new change the way the family does things — maintain a consistency, at least in the beginning.
Don’t expect things to be perfect, like on The Brady Bunch . Adjusting to new situations and new people can be a bit of a process.
9. Keep expectations in check.
Life is complicated, life is messy, and it isn't always going to go smoothly — and that's doesn't mean it's not going to work out. "Don’t expect things to be perfect, like on The Brady Bunch ," Morin says. "There will be some bumps in the road when you’re dating, and that’s fine. Adjusting to new situations and new people can be a bit of a process." Let it unfold naturally.
10. Be careful about the ex.
"Don’t get caught up in any type of drama with the ex-partner," says Morin. "Stay out of it altogether and focus on the things you can control — like bonding with the children." Nobody has the time to get sucked into needless drama.
11. And, if you're planning on dating a single mom, don't waste her time.
If you're wondering how to ask out a single mom, remember that they have to do a lot of juggling. "Ask her out in advance so she can make arrangements for someone to watch the kids," Dr. Friedenthal says. Then, keep your commitments, since making that time for you probably took a lot of arranging on her end.
12. Make it easy.
A single mom doesn't need extra difficulty in her life. "The best thing you can do when dating a single mom is support her relationship with her children," Morin says. "You don’t want to add more stress by making her feel guilty for not giving you enough time."
13. Understand the kids come first.
But that doesn't mean there isn't room for you. "Her kids are a priority, so the amount of time and energy she is able to put into your relationship does not necessarily reflect how she feels about you," Dr. Friedenthal says. "Look for other expressions of interest and affection."
14. But also that there is more to her than just the kids.
She does have a part of her identity that's not wrapped up in raising children, and that's probably what she wants to explore with you. "Remember that while her children play a big role in her life, there are many aspects to her in addition to being a mother," she adds. "Learn about all of her interests, passions, and values."
15. Most importantly, tread lightly when meeting the kids for the first time.
If you've made it this far, congratulations! Single moms don't just let anyone into their kids' lives. But you you still have to tread into these waters gently. "Be warm and inviting but don’t pressure a child to talk with you or spend too much time with you at first," Morin says. "A child may simply want to say hello and then go on to do their own activity. Don’t press the issue if that’s the case. It can be helpful to make the first meeting an activity that you can do together. Even something as simple as playing soccer in the backyard or playing a board game can take the pressure off from having to talk too much. You can get to know one another more through doing something, rather than talking about something."
Dating a Single Mom: 8 Success Tips for Making It Work.
Jennifer Wolf is a PCI Certified Parent Coach and a strong advocate for single moms and dads.
Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.
Uwe Krejci / Getty Images.
So you've got your eye on a single mom. She's smart, strong, and beautiful, but also a bit of a mystery. How can you make this relationship work? And how do you let her know that you're not just playing games—without getting overly involved too soon? Before you start dating a single mom or explore taking your relationship to the next level, set the stage for success.
Recognize that dating a single mom is different from dating someone without kids . A mom's time is limited, and much of her energy goes toward taking care of her kids. But she’s also much more clear about what she wants in life, and that's an attractive quality! Accept that her top priority will always be her children . In other relationships, you may have been able to gauge a woman’s feelings for you by how much time and energy she put into your relationship. When you’re dating a single mom, this isn’t necessarily the case. She may not have the time to see you as often as you'd both like. Learn to look for other expressions of her feelings for you. Avoid disciplining her children . When you’re dating a single mom, let her handle 100% of the kids’ discipline. The only exception to this rule is if she specifically asks for your support or help. If you have concerns about the kids’ behavior, talk with your girlfriend about it privately. Never attempt to handle the issue yourself without discussing it with her first. Stay clear of any drama with her ex . If there’s tension with her kids' other parent, let your girlfriend handle it. Of course, you can support her and encourage her, but don’t contact her ex on her behalf or get involved in an ongoing court battle over their custody agreement. Pace yourself . It’s important to give your relationship time to develop. Don’t rush into moving in together or getting engaged. Instead, take it slow and focus on developing trust before you take your relationship to the next level. Offer emotional support . As a single mom, there is a tremendous amount of pressure on your girlfriend to provide for her children financially and emotionally. Be the kind of partner who can listen without trying to solve every problem for her. She will work it out in time. Offering support and encouragement will help you build a stronger bond. Be trustworthy . As a single mother, your girlfriend may have experienced situations previously where she depended on someone who was not trustworthy. Set yourself apart by being someone she can trust. Be responsible to her without being responsible for her. Allow your relationship with her kids to develop naturally . Don’t try to be too much too soon to either your girlfriend or her children. If you’re not sure about how involved you want to be with the kids, be open and honest about that. At the same time, it’s important that you don’t begin to take on a role that you can’t maintain for the long haul.
A Word From Verywell.
You’re the only one who can know whether dating a single mom is right for you. Don’t get caught up in listening to family members or friends who will try to discourage you or suggest that she’s just looking for a stepparent figure. This is rarely the case. Pay attention, instead, to the woman you know and the relationship you’re building together.
8 Single Moms Reveal the 20 Things You Need to Know About Dating a Single Mom.
How to win their hearts and be as supportive as possible.
If you're thinking about dating a single mom, you might be wondering how it'll be different from dating a woman without children. In many ways, dating a single mom is like dating anyone else, and as long as you treat her with care and respect, you'll be golden. But at the same time, there are a few things you should keep in mind if you want to be a great partner to a solo parent.
W e asked eight single mothers how potential partners could win their hearts and be as supportive as possible. Here's what they told us everyone should know about dating a single mom.
Understand her priorities.
The number one thing many single moms want potential partners to know is that the kids come first. While a romantic partner can play an integral role in a single mom's life, there shouldn't be any competition between you and her children. And if you're dating a single mom and find yourself growing jealous or competitive, examine the root of your feelings, and consider ending the relationship if that jealousy feels toxic.
" My kids and I are a team," says entrepreneur Monicha Wimbley . "And since I'm the general manager of the team, I look out for all the team members. Although you will not meet them right away, my children are my priority. They don't rule the roost, but their feelings carry weight. Their health and well-being are the most important thing."
Be flexible about scheduling.
Single mothers are often juggling busy schedules, managing everything from parenting and household management to work and sometimes school. That might mean they aren't able to be as spontaneous as you'd like. And if that's the case, be patient.
" Please be understanding when I cancel a date at short notice," says Nashima Harvey , executive director of The Little Green House Educational Services . " Sometimes my child may get sick or may have an issue that requires me to stay home, such as a sitter cancellation. Flexibility and understanding then become extremely important. Ingenuity does as well. Maybe we can improvise at home and bring the fun to us."
Embrace the fun side of dating a single mom.
Sneaking around the kids for a secret rendezvous doesn't have to be something you dread. In fact, it can be kind of fun, says Katie Tomaszewski , director of Drynamics, a sober-curious support group. "Sometimes dating can feel like high-school dating," she says. "You've gotta kinda sneak it in at times." Embrace a bit of risqué romance and go with the flow!
Don't worry about jumping in as a father.
Don't feel pressured to jump in immediately as a father figure or a second parent, says Keyona Grant of the blog Professional Momma . "I 'm not looking for you to be a father to my kid, I'm looking for a life partner for me," she says. "That being said, you still have to love her too and want what is best for her."
Instead of trying to become a stepparent too quickly, focusing on developing an organic relationship with your partner and her kids. Moreover, don't pressure her to have you meet her kids before she's ready. Relationship-building is a natural process and there's no set timeline for when you should or shouldn't meet a romantic partner's children.
Remember that she's more than a mom.
Your partner likely spends much of her time identifying as a parent. So when it comes to romance, it's nice to be seen as more than a mom. " We are more than mothers," says Grant. "It's nice to take our children into consideration, but also try to appeal to the women we are too."
Do that by planning romantic dates, praising her for her work accomplishments and other traits that aren't related to motherhood, and talking about subjects other than parenting.
Be upfront about commitment.
Many single moms want to know upfront what you're looking for in a relationship. That doesn't mean you should feel pressured to make a commitment before you're ready, but be straightforward about what you want. Is it a long-term girlfriend? A hookup? Marriage? Whatever the case, most single mothers would rather know from the start.
" Know what your end game is before dating someone with children," says Grant. "Do you want to get married, are you casually dating, or are your just looking for friendship?" she says. "Be upfront, because our time is valuable, and we don't need to waste it."
Care about her kids.
While developing a relationship with your partner's kids will take time, you should show that you care about her children. Be open to having picnics or other outings with the kids and don't always expect an abundance of one-on-one time with their mom. When your partner talks about her children, ask questions and practice active listening.
Be there for her emotionally.
Single moms are often juggling a lot of things both professionally and personally. A supportive shoulder to lean on and a listening ear are always appreciated."M y dream is to date someone who is naturally nurturing," says Nikki Bruno of Catalyst Coaching. "I spend so much time and energy caring for my kids and ensuring their emotional, mental, and physical health that I could use some extra loving care, too."
Don't get involved in any drama.
While emotional support is valuable, getting involved in any drama—especially with an ex or co-parent—is not. If there's any interpersonal conflict in your partner's life, such as with her children's father, try to stay out of it and not get too emotionally involved yourself.
In most cases, simply being an attentive listener who can handle a bit of venting is key, says Shawn Zanotti , founder and CEO of Exact Publicity . " At times I may want to vent, and [sometimes] it will be about my child," she says. "As a partner, be engaged, be intrigued, listen, respond, and [offer] advice."
Respect her work schedule.
The work schedule of a single parent can often be busy and hectic. Just as you wouldn't try to compete with kids, respect your partner's job or career, too. " Planning is needed," says Wimbley. "It's going to be quality over quantity. Between work, co-parenting schedules, and the kids' school and activities, I only have so much free time. Please be aware that planning for some time together might have to go on the schedule way in advance."
Be willing to help out.
A foot massage, a home-cooked meal, or any other kind of pampering can mean the world to a single mom. Single parents are often used to doing it all on their own and simply having a partner by their side can mean a lot. " Juggling the role of single mom and career woman is tough and extremely exhausting," says Harvey, "especially when you have children under 10. Sometimes a simple back rub or foot massage and a home cooked meal may be a great pick-me-up to rejuvenate the spirit."
Be honest about your own needs.
While your partner's needs and goals are incredibly important, so are yours. Don't allow yourself to grow resentful or avoid issues if a problem begins to develop. Instead of allowing a breakdown in communication to grow, be upfront so you can address any issues together.
Make every second together count.
Solo parents often have limited time for dates and other outings. So when you do have time together, make it count. Try to plan dates and make your time together special. Ask questions and have thoughtful conversations. " Remember that I don't just have 'free' time laying around as a single mom," says Harvey. "When I share my time with you one-on-one it's super valuable and rare, so treat it as such."
Find ways to relax and rejuvenate together.
Think of your time together as an oasis from the stresses of the day. As much as you can, try to relax and rejuvenate together. Get a couples' massage if you can, or hire a babysitter and have a nice dinner out. You could even stay in for a night of cuddling, suggests Sanaa Brooks , editor-in-chief of A Mom That Sleeps . " I'm always tired, so sometimes I don't want to get ready for a date after working crazy hours all week," she says. "[Sometimes it's great to] just order in."
Respect your partner's boundaries.
Respecting boundaries around time with your partner's children, or your involvement in their lives, is key to building a successful relationship with a single mother. Remember, a mother has to protect her children's emotional wellness as well as her own and is therefore careful about who she lets into her kids' lives.
Make sure you can bring something valuable to the table.
"I've done so much on my own, so what are you bringing to the table?" says speaker and success coach Joyce Rojas . " Single moms are very independent and can accomplish so much in very little time, on their own. It's a skill we had to learn. So in the dating world, we tend to look for someone that can enhance our lives. We don't want drama, competition, or dead weight."
Single mothers are often juggling stressful work schedules and have to make time for dating in between their many other responsibilities. That means it might not be the best idea to get romantically involved with a single parent if you don't have your own priorities in order.
Don't dwell on your partner's past.
Many single parents have heartbreak in their past, whether that's from a divorce, a break-up, or the death of a beloved spouse. Understand that this might affect your relationship to an extent, and it might take time to build trust.
" A single mom has likely gone through heartbreak of some kind, and so have her children," says Rojas. "It's not an easy task to just move forward without emotional scars still lingering. We're not only afraid of getting hurt, but we're afraid of hurting our children all over again. "
Listen to your partner if they want to talk about it, but try to move forward toward the future with an open mind. Everyone has a history, and your potential partner probably wants to get excited about the possibility of a future with you rather than dwelling on her past.
Do some old-fashioned courting when dating a single mom.
Some of your dates might be spent with kids, or might be during the day because late nights on the town aren't always possible for single moms. Embrace the nostalgia and simple fun of old-fashioned courting: Walks in the park, carnivals, or dinners at home can be charming and delightful if you're game.
Remember that you have an impact on your partner's children, too.
Even if your role in your partner's children's life is small, it can leave a lasting impact. Try not to jump too much into the kids' lives if you're not sure about the future of your relationship, and in the early stages of dating a single mom, take your partner's lead on how to interact with the kids and what your relationship with them will be.
Don't make assumptions.
Assuming that a single mother 'needs' you or wants something particular out of a relationship isn't helping to build a partnership based on trust and honesty. Instead of making assumptions, have respectful conversations and keep an open line of communication to find out if your short- and long-term desires align.
How to date a single mom (Tips for dating and 15 things NOT to say)
I go out with single dads and childless men alike, and some of the latter admit (while others appear) to be uncertain about the logistics of dating a single mom.
On one hand, Dude, we are just like other women! Proceed as normal!
On the other, our lives are likely both wonderful and challenging in ways that childless woman's are not.
If you landed here, you are likely a guy (or woman) who is attracted to single moms because:
You're a single parent, too, so you want to connect with someone who understands your jam (single moms want to date single dads, too, btw) You don't have kids, and feel too old to be a dad to a newborn (and are keeping it real about the realities of babymaking with a much, much younger woman), but would like to be a father — in this case, a stepfather to older kids You just tend to be attracted to moms, and you can't figure out why. You have feels for a single mom in particular, and you are unsure on how to move forward.
For finding a serious relationship, eHarmony is the leader:
Free 150-point personality report Apps for iOS and Android 100% of members are proven to be real (no catfishing or married people!) Free version For paid memberships, eHarmony has one of the lowest prices, with costs starting at $7.90/month. 3-month free guarantee A+ Better Business Bureau rating Video dating.
If you are someone interested in dating a single mom, take 5 min and read 9 reasons dating as a single mom is so much better and understand why it will be worth the extra time and effort you may have to put in!
What single moms want in a man?
Of course, there are tens of millions of single moms in the United States alone — far be it from me to generalize all of them! Some want a fabulous, low-commitment physical connection. Others are looking for a fun date, a hiking partner, or someone to share a hobby with.
If we're talking about a serious relationship, here are some common themes that I hear single moms seek out in a man:
Reliable. Single moms have a lot of responsibilities, and have little time for people who cancel last minute, are late, or otherwise don't do what they say they will. Is this you? Next! You're a good listener — and talker! Single moms often complain of loneliness, and lack of adult conversation. She may need a break from being needed and listening, and would love to be heard. But also don't expect her to carry the conversation. Have your life together. Of course not everyone is at the top of their professional/fitness/personal game all the time, but in general you have a job, a grip on your personal finances, take care of your body, keep your house tidy, and are in general an adult. Low drama. If you're wrapped up in a high-conflict ex mania, that just says you are really emotionally not available to the woman you are intersted in. She likely has an ex, too, and can't handle a lot more conflict. You are an equal parent. Now, I know very well that family courts, our culture and society are sexist, and marginalize fathers, and this is a travesty. Perhaps you have minority time with your kids, or are alienated by the other parent. However, your current love interest wants to see that you either do have, or have fought hard to have equal time and take equal responsibility for your kids. Otherwise, you are sexist and that is not OK.
How to ask a single mom out — and how to date a single mom.
Helpful tips on how to connect, the logistics, meeting her kids ….
1. Ask her out ASAP — single moms are busy!
Leave the ask to the last minute, she has to scramble to find a sitter and that's really uncool.
Plus, it tells her (and any other woman, for that matter) that she was your Plan B for the evening.
Which she may be. But if you really want to see her and invest time in getting to know her, give the woman plenty of time to sort out her schedule.
If she wants to date you, she will find a way to make it work.
2. Ask about her kids.
She won't assume you're a pedophile.
This shows interest in one of the most important things in her life.
In fact, if you DON'T appear interested in her family she'll think that you're not into kids.
3. Let her know you love kids — especially if you're a childless man.
Assuming it's true.
Sounds cliche', but I always appreciate it when a guy goes on about how much he adores his niece or spends time with a friend's baby.
When a guy laughs at my funny-kid story, or is sympathetic about my mom worries, I'm in.
4. Don't assume she is broke just because she's a single mom.
Maybe she is broke, but don't assume.
5. Don't assume single moms' kids need a new dad.
They have a dad, or they don't.
You are not being interviewed to be a parent — you are being interviewed for your potential to be a romantic partner.
Of course, that could involve — way, way down the road — being a part of a family with children.
These things are complicated, I know.
Bear with us. But just follow her lead here.
6. If you're out and she is paying for a sitter it is really nice if you get the check.
This isn't necessary, and especially after you have been involved for a while you will likely sort out the who-pays-when conundrum.
But if you tend to take turns picking up the bill, but she sometimes rearranges her life to get out of the house and pays for a babysitter so she can spend time with you, acknowledge that.
7. Be patient on asking about visitation schedules.
Of course, you want to know when she is free, if she has the kids all the time and whether the dad is involved.
But if you explicitly ask for these details on the first or second date you will appear reluctant about dating a woman with kids.
Which you may be – but if you ask too fast, she will know.
But she wants to feel like you're interested in her in every part of her womanhood — including motherhood.
8. Don't assume she's not free when her kids are home.
Women like to be asked out. If you're interested and want to see her, ask her out.
If she prefers not to go out when her kids are home or doesn't like to hire a babysitter on school nights, she'll tell you. Because she may be dying for a good reason to hire a sitter, or take her brother up on his offer to watch the kids or otherwise go out and spend time with you.
If you don't ask her out — no matter how innocuous or considerate the reason — she will assume you don't want to see her.
9. Wait for her to bring up introducing the kids.
If it has been more than a few months, or things get very serious very quickly, and she hasn't brought up introducing the kids, bring it up.
[If you're thinking of exploring friends with benefits, here's my advice to you. ]
10. Know that when she invites you over, it is more work for her than when you invite her over.
Yes, moms are really efficient and they're used to doing a lot of cooking and cleaning.
But if a single mom invites you over for dinner — whether a romantic evening for two, or with her kids — she had to clean up a whole lot of Legos and finger paint and string cheese wrappers and wrangles in an extra trip to the market and wine store to make it happen.
It may appear effortless, but effortless actually takes more effort.
11. Respect that it's a big deal when she introduces you to her kids.
She is opening up her life and her whole family's life to you.
Treat this gesture accordingly.
First date tips — what not to say to a single mom.
We all say dumb stuff on dates.
Especially first dates when everyone is self-conscious and sussing out someone new.
But there are some things that you just do not say to a single mom on a first date, assuming you’re angling for a second.
“You look great for a mom.” That. Never say that. Don't ask to come over when her kid are asleep. Just don't. “That’s great your mom lives in town so you can leave your kids with her on weekends.” “I am really loving this time of my life since my kids went away to college.” “Wow, you look good considering you had two kids.” “Kids need a man in the house.” “You had a C-section? That’s awesome.” “You don’t even have stretch marks!” “ Your ex-husband lives in the neighborhood? Is his place near here [looking over both shoulders]? Do you ever run into him? Does he hate that you date? Has he ever beat up your boyfriends? Have your kids met any men you’ve dated? How did they react? Did they resent him? ” “Did you get your tubes tied?” “How much child support do you get?” “When guys marry single moms and their daughters grow into teenagers, I don’t know how they can control themselves.” “My ex has a lot of issues so I really want to get married so my daughter has a new mom.” “Do you masturbate while your kids are home?” “Not a lot of guys are interested in women with kids, you know.”
Interested in getting to know someone on a second date?
Commit this list to memory and never ever utter a single one of them.
First date tips — good conversation starters.
Some real-life advice from members of the Millionaire Single Moms Facebook group:
Comedianne Whitney Cummings shared her ‘Red-Flag Dating Test' on Jimmy Kimmel for good questions and conversation starters for a first date:
1. “What’s your favorite color? How would you describe it/Why is it your favorite?”
2. “What’s your favorite animal? How would you describe it/Why is it your favorite?”
3. “What’s your favorite body of water? Can be as specific as Lake Eerie at 7am, or as general as the ocean. Why is it your favorite/Describe it?”
BONUS: “If you imagine yourself waking up in a completely white room with no windows or doors, how you would feel?”
“Books currently reading, places lived/traveled, movies, and football for me. I try to steer away from what you do as I live in DC and that’s all most folx care about.” “I usually tell a story about something funny I did with friends and that usually leads to more story telling…unless they have the personality of an empty dinner plate then it may go nowhere!” “I like to ask if they know what their love language is… tells me how they best receive affection AND that they've done self work both of which are important to me. I've also started throwing in asking what their attachment style is.” “What invention are you most frustrated you didn’t think of first? (Mine: individually wrapped toothpicks and pool noodles.)”
Benefits of dating a single mom.
Advice for dating a single mom in her 20s.
A single mom in her 20s might want more kids, just starting her career and/or going to school. Or, not. She is young, and so is her body, so she has a lot of dating options.
Advice for dating a single mom in her 30s.
A single mom in her 30s might want more kids, could be in any stage of professional and financial security — including being very established in both her profession and bank account. Or, not.
Advice for dating a single mom in her 40s.
Probably doesn't want any more biological kids of her own, knows a lot about who she is and what she wants and is likely seeking someone in a similar situation — though man moms in this stage of life enjoy great, casual sex lives, including with younger men.
Problems dating a single mom: what you need to know as a man about why dating a single mom is hard.
Way back at the beginning of my single mom dating shenanigans I fell in love with an older man. My kids were 1 and 3, his were in college. A few months in, I broke it off over a boozy Italian dinner. “Face it,” I said. “You don't want to be running around with little kids again.”
“I don't want to date a mom”
Old story: We kept sleeping with each other, he decided he wanted to try dating a mom for real, and a year later broke it off for reals because he didn't want to date a mom. For a whole bunch of reasons, that breakup was terribly painful for me, and it took me so many months (many of which I admittedly kept sleeping with him. Sue me.) to get over it.
“You're so wonderful, it has nothing to do with you,” he'd say over and over. “It's just that life got in the way.”
I clung desperately to those words for a very long time. But those words are bullshit (even if it was good of him to employ them). Rejecting me because I have children has every single thing to do with me. I am a mom. My motherhood is not a separate island off the coastline of myself. It is part of me. Arguably the very best part of me. I am a mother, exactly as I said I as when I met you online/the office/Starbucks/swing dancing/trashed at your cousin's wedding.
I've bumped into that same floundering position on dating me, a single mom, several times. “I thought I didn't want to date women with kids, but your OKCupid profile was irresistible,” he'll say. What he doesn't say, but what is implied is: “What the hell. I'll give this a try and if I don't like it, I'm outta here!”
Could I change his mind about dating moms?
I try not to be bitter. We're all human. Can I really fault a guy for liking me so much he goes against his instincts that tell him he's not fit for blended family life? I've got a healthy ego. I'd love to be the one to change his mind!
Yet it's pretty silly that we treat the intersect of romance and children as such an exotic unknown, one worthy of tip-toe trepidation. After all, it's not like I'm raising feral unicorns in my attic, or foster-parenting gnomes. I am a human mother raising human children, the most fundamental essence of humanity, familiar to all, including every single man on OKCupid, who, presumably, was once a child himself.
On the flip side, I do think it is possible to change a guy's mind (though I don't suggest banking on it). A few years ago I had a mini-session with dating coach Kavita Patel, who stands out among her peers as a remarkable insight into dating and relationships overall, and has an intuitive power that is slightly freaky. In telling her about my dating, I said: “If a guy isn't into single moms, that's fine with me. I'm not interested in changing anyone's mind!”
Obvious, right? She disagreed: “Sometimes a guy has to see you with your children. Then he can be open to dating a woman with a family.”
Because she got so much right about me, I could never let that advice go.
Last year for a few months I dated a man who was in his early 40s, divorced but with no kids. We were a mismatch for zillions of reasons, but of anyone I've ever been involved with, he appreciated my motherhood more than any other man.
He also admitted to discounting a relationship with a single mom before crossing my path. One day a few months in he told me he'd watched some Facebook videos of my kids in which I was audible in the background. “You're so natural and honest with them. You're an awesome mom,” he said in an uncharacteristically vulnerable moment. “I adore you.”
Which is exactly what every single mom wants to hear very most of all.
Fast-forward to today, and I am in a 3-year relationship with a dad who loves that I am a mom, enjoys long days with me and my two kids, running between soccer games and theater practice and sleepover drop-offs and the rest — more than I do myself, often. He's hot, successful and my friends join me in thinking I won the jackpot.
When, a year or so in, we had a big relationship talk, and voices went low as two middle-aged people who have been through the ringer each made our best efforts to put baggage aside and be vulnerable in our needs, he held my hand across the dining room table as my kids slept in a room adjacent, looked me in the eye, and said:
“I just want us all to be a family.”
Problems dating as a single mom: what you need to know as a single mom.
Ladies, here is a huge favor I will do for you:
I will save you the horrors you will find should you google “date a single mom” on the Internet. There are a lot of sexist assholes out there, and you don't need to know what they think.
I will save you from your fears that no good guy wants to date a single mom. Not only have I dated a lot of amazing men who either don't care that I'm a mom, or love the fact that I am one, I also have met and know of thousands and thousands of women who are also mothers who have found love, fun, companionship and partnership after becoming a mom.
But what do the haters say? All those asswipes who swear off single moms? I will share here to save you the trouble of sorting through that toxicity, and assure you that you don't have to worry.
These misogynists claim single moms only want a sugar daddy to pay their bills.
We are all gold diggers.
Primed to attract men, use them for their money and maybe sperm, then dump them.
We will never make time for our man — kids always come first (how and why not to make that mistake in this post).
Used-up, damaged goods, and the like.
You know, stuff that children say when their feelings got hurt and they are too underdeveloped to manage their feelings. So they lash out.
Nothing that an evolved woman has to worry about.
Carry on, you find thing.
Ever thought about online therapy? Way cheaper, convenient, private by text, voice or video counseling — perfect for single moms. Top online therapy sites — which is the best?
Thinking of dating again as a single mom, but not sure where to start?
Dating sites used by single moms and dads.
Check out a dating app. This is the easiest, cheapest way to get your mojo back, and get a feel for what is happening out there. All you need to do is connect with one cute guy to get that spark going again.
Online dating is one of the best things in the world for single parents — time and money efficient, and you can even do a background check a woman before you go out with her!
Ready to start dating? Looking for a serious relationship? Our No. 1 recommendation is eHarmony, which is consistently rated the most trusted dating site, and is designed specifically for those looking for meaningful, long-term connections. A+ Better Business Bureau rating, and claims “Every day, an average of 438 singles marry a match they found on eHarmony.” 3-month free guarantee.
Matchmaker sites for single parents.
There is a reason matchmakers have been in use since the dawn of human sexuality — they work!
Matchmakers tend to be very expensive, with no guarantees. It's Just Lunch is different.
I did a lot of research on It's Just Lunch, and went through the onboarding process, which you can listen to in audio, and read the transcript. I am so impressed — if I weren't in a serious relationship, I'd 100% use this service.
Here is a deep review of It's Just Lunch, which is the largest matchmaking service in the world, and searches its network of literally millions of singles to find you quality dates. Here is what I like about it:
It's Just Lunch is 28 years old, reports 3 million first dates (!) and thousands of relationships and marriages Guaranteed number of dates. They quote you a custom price that includes a fixed number of dates over a certain period of time (you can pause your engagement with penalty for any reason — including finding love 😍) Each package 2 free one-on-one personal dating coaching sessions Daters tend to be in their 40s and older, so lots of successful men who have kids and are open to moms with kids and successful careers You are assigned a designated matchmaker who goes through rigorous training, and has years of experience — so their intuition is high! Both parties pay and invest in the service — so everyone is equally invested in finding a quality relationship (and can afford the service)
In this post I lay out the pros and cons of matchmaking experiences, and you can hear for yourself as I go through what you can expect in your first experience with an It's Just Lunch dating specialist.
Ready to try online dating? Get going with eHarmony >>
Emma Johnson.
Wealthysinglemommy.com founder Emma Johnson is an award-winning business journalist, activist and author. A former Associated Press reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has appeared on CNBC, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, TIME, The Doctors, MONEY, O, The Oprah Magazine. Winner of Parents magazine’s “Best of the Web” and a New York Observer “Most Eligible New Yorker," her #1 bestseller, The Kickass Single Mom (Penguin), was a New York Post Must Read . A popular speaker, Emma presented at the United Nations Summit for Gender Equality. Emma's Top Single Mom Resources.
24 Comments.
Just started dating a childless man…he is a sweetheart but I am having problems balancing both. Seeing him and booking a sitter . And idk how long before either I just decide to maybe move on. He has told me I am welcome to bring kiddos but they are very young and our relationship is very new.
Moms and guys need to be honest with one another. I know this sound redundant. You have to respect and honor eachother. Guys should always be on the alert from woman. Very simple reason, many out there wants a hot guy and to be successful. BUT, but if you look at this woman are overweight or fat and don’t do much. I know people like that. No question that there are fair share of lousy man out there. And I know guys that I would NOT introduce them to my friends either and are fat and lazy. Real man and a real woman will not put up with medicare people. So be strong and make something good out of yourself and not a blob of fat.
Very interesting article, I am a childless man who is going to try and date a single mother. I saw this out there casually browsing around and it makes sense thank you.
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I am a single mom of 3 and I have been dating a man for almost 6 years now who also has children around my kid’s ages. He never invites me to his family gatherings or his kids sporting events. I made a big deal of always asking him to come to my kids events as well as family events. He rarely did and then just stopped so I quit asking. I have brought this to his attention how it makes me feel that he never invites me or even me and my children to his family events. I barely know his family and my kids have only ever meant his parents and his sibling because his sibling resides with him. It took me many times of bringing up the fact that he never invites me or my kids and its weird. we have been together for 6 years and I barely know your family. Cousins have gotten married and kids have been born and I have never meant them or the spouses. So he recently started inviting me and yes I mean only me. It seems he waits for when I don’t have my kids and it’s still only hear and there. Well lets just say being there is very awkward half the time no one speaks to me and the only ones that do are his aunts and uncles or his parents or grandparents his cousins who are around are age do not speak to me, unless I try to start a conversation. I truly feel they see me as this snob of a person who choses not to come around even though that is not the case I have just never been invited. And he does every holiday at his families house. Mothers day he spent the night before but left early because they were having family get together as they do every holiday. Why can’t he spend a holiday with us we never get to spend one together. The opportunity for me and my kids to move has come along and he wants us to move in, but how is that going to work. I can be very stubborn and I am not going to have us split every holiday apart doing our own thing. HIs cousins baby shower over a year ago I guess I was invited but he never told me till the day of it. I couldn’t go. Then that same cousins baby one year birthday party he tells me oh your invited too but I would have to check and see if ok for you to take your kids since its our weekend to have them…UMMM six years shouldn’t it just be a given? I am overly frustrated and even though I love the man, I am tired of dealing with the same issues over and over again, and now its to the point I don’t want to go to any of his family functions as I feel they now look at me a certain way and probably blame me for never coming around. I know nothing about them. And if my kids can’t go i’m not going. Or am I just being stubborn? Our relationship has been very slowwwwww. Over a year before meant each others kids, he hardly ever comes to me and I always go to him. We never go out. No date nights if he does ask me to go out or plan something fun he always cancels last minute and its usually when I look at the clock and say shouldn’t we be getting around and his response is “oh I don’t feel like going to tired” like seriously. what do I do to get my point across!
You are only a convenience for him. He doesn’t value you. Move on to someone who treats you like a queen.
Her having children was not a problem for me at first. It’s what came after that broke my heart. Nothing I could do to save her. I lost trust in her. I can’t even comprehend the sorrow I feel. Any advice?
I met the love of my life. Found out the hard way she had a very bad substance abuse problem. She is also a mother of four children. Good news she is getting her life together and maybe also her children. Bad news is she left after all I went through.
[…] 14 tips guys must know before dating a single mom. … 14 tips for guys interested in dating single moms. … Here are my tips for men who want to date a single mom: …read more […]
This list very helpful. One thing though; as the son of a once single mother, I find it very important if you’re going to be in it for the long run to meet the children sooner rather than later. My mother saw it as ” if you’re going to be for me then you’re going to be for my children.” She made the man my sisters and I now call dad take us all out after many months of him asking her out. I believe it is important to meet the children and interact with them, they have serious persuasive power when it comes to you being able to continue a relationship with their mom After months of texting, snapchatting, & video chatting I recently went on my first lunch date with a single mother of two children who I’ve been into since highschool (I’m 22, she’s 23) & instead of having her stress to find a sitter I told her it would be fine for her to bring the children as long she was okay with it. Which she was, she later told me the children couldn’t stop talking about lunch & how nice & funny I was. She also said it was the nicest outing she’s had with anyone in a long time & that she was impressed that I was the one who brought up bringing the kids & that I actually interacted with the children. She has told me that she’s has been asked out a few times & once she brings up that she has children the men practically clam up on the spot & don’t talk with her again. I know that this isn’t always the case & will certainly not be the best choice of action for every mom. I’m not advocating for you to put your children out there like that because there is alot of creeps. Just in my personal cases it has worked out & could possibly for someone in the future. Also happy to say her, her children, & I will be going for another lunch outing tomorrow afternoon. Sorry for the long windedness. Just having the possible potential to step up like my dad did makes me happy. I know if something really becomes of this then it won’t be easy for any of us.
Class dismissed! For that to happen you actually need to posses class in the first place. We get it, you got burned by a single mother, that sucks; I feel for ya. But you are categorizing a multiple woman, because of the actions of one dumb, lazy biatch. Simmer down, I know they are all not like that; because I found myself a gem.
I am in shock reading this! Im a single mom of two beautiful children , and have never expected anything from a man i date other than loyality and companionship ! I dated a younger guy only to realize he was using me not the otherway around! Because my time is limited from a full time job and taking care of my two children i dont have time for games or bs! It makes me very sad that you would put such a harsh label- its like saying all men are cheats, and abusive- some of us are actually very good woman whos relationships simply didnt workout! I was married for 20 yrs to my high school sweetheart – it didnt work in the end! We arent enemies nor do we wish eachother bad! I dont know who you dated but it sounds like you could use some counseling to overcome your anger towards a single mom!
Hey Single Moms,
I am in a situation which is why I am going to write a lengthy post. I think I am in love.
I work in a big retail corporation. I met her at regional market training. She happens to be a manager at a store in the town where I live, while I am a manager at the store a town over.
I went in to meet her more personally today. We talked for a few minutes about work. I think she is just wonderful in every way.
In the world of social media, I did a search on her before I went to her store. We have a few friends in common and I went to college with her cousin. Her profile is plastered with pictures of her children, but no father. She has two kids. Nothing about this bothers me at all. I just don’t really know how to approach her. Do I take the friend approach for a few months or just ask her out soon?
I perhaps dug too deep and found out that her former boyfriend or husband (I see no evidence of this) is a former pro athlete who was in the minor leagues of major pro league. He is literally thousands of miles away now with a different girlfriend, pictures of GF with my crush’s kids. Posts saying he is happier than ever blah blah. Real bad guy. I don’t know how bad it was. I could reach out to cousin before I pursue it further, which I barely know her and don’t want to do.
I am 29 years old. She is two years younger. The jerk has been out of the picture for over a year now.
I really barely know this woman and just want to get to know her better. And, hopefully, date her, love her and give her everything she deserves.
Please reach out to me with any advice on how to pursue this.
You should ask her out on a date or for coffee. or as you sggested be her friend. But, either way do something about yoru feelings.
I have always been shocked that men don’t always pay when women are paying for babysitters. What is worse is when it is the men that are so excited to express how successful they are. It isn’t a deal breaker for me but it does say a lot about them. xo.
Honestly I think it is a lot of cluelessness … they just don’t think about it. Then there are the guys who say, either aloud or to themselves — “It’s not my responsibility to pay for HER kids.”
Well, no, it’s not, but …
Hi Emma, I love your blog. Number 8 and 9 made me laugh. I was told few weeks ago by my friend that I look good for a mom. WHAT. Is this a compliment because for me is not. I joined Ok Cupid a while ago and was chatting with this nice gentleman (so I thought). Out of the blue one night, he asked me to come over. We never talked on the phone before or saw each other. I wonder what the reason is, they don’t have common sense or is just hard to date a single mom?
Oh, dunno – maybe that one is just clueless in general, and a single mom walked into his line of fire.
Love this – 1,2,5, and 6 are my favs. You need to seriously print this list on calling cards us single moms can hand out. Or put in a JPEG that we can add as a profile pic. Only one I’d add: don’t assume I’m unhappy, desperate, or chasing a husband to rescue me.
I’ve seen some really off-color behavior (“Do you masturbate when the kids are home?”) but mainly these are good dudes who are just inexperienced dating moms and don’t know the ropes. Hope this helps!
I have been asked this so many times! OMG!
I thought that was so weird / wrong ….
I dont know why any guy would actually ask “Do you masturbate when the kids are home?” I mean I’m single I seem to be very attracted to single mothers but that would never cross my mind it makes me laugh and cry a little inside that it had to be said because men out there actually ask. Not my business and completely devoid of any tact. Smh.
On my second date he told me I have a good reputation to uphold I wouldn’t want to be seen with ur son.
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The best way to find love after 40 is to start looking for hot single moms who will be willing to give a new relationship a shot. Move carefully though!
Be too pushy, and you'll lose her, but be too laid-back, and she might have no interest in dating you. Know the tips to date single moms now!
How to Date a Single Mom: A Guide for a Real Man.
Dating a single mom is a real challenge. But, as challenges go, it is absolutely worth it. You definitely shouldn’t just skip this option because she has kids. Better believe that there are a lot of advantages and benefits that go along with laundry, diapers, and mature life.
Single moms are very attractive because they have special qualities other women simply do not possess. Certain men will more likely get by with a single mom than with any other woman.
What Makes a Single Mom So Special?
A single mom is not just your average girlfriend. She is a mature and independent woman. The amount of her responsibility speaks louder than her age. She might even be younger than you but having a child by her side makes you at least equal. Some things depend on whether you have kids yourself. If you do, then you two definitely have a point of connection.
Single mothers are very confident, loyal, patient, and committed. It is hard enough to have a child but it is twice as hard to have it on your own being a woman. You should remember this before, after, and in the process of dating a single mom. Single moms dating guys have other criteria for their boyfriends. It is obvious that a single mother doesn't look for something that is not serious. So, if you’re not committed enough, you better skedaddle for the sake of her and your own.
A Huge Responsibility.
Single moms are special because their difficult experience works for their individual growth. Never forget that dating a single mom is a serious responsibility. Relationships with partners ready to make a commitment are serious enough. That’s why single moms are ostracized on dating sites and in life. Single moms dating men have huge demands and cannot instantly place you before their kids because their kids are the most precious what they have at the time, not you. Nevertheless, it does not mean that you can’t become a part of a family. It’s just that the stakes are higher and you will be expected to meet more demands.
Being a Stepfather.
Keep in mind that you are a potential candidate for being a stepfather. Think about everything that comes with it. Ask yourself these questions: will you be able to love her child as yours? How will you handle competition with her child and the role of provider? Single moms are very caring. They are naturally more caring and can make you feel really comfortable. You can also have a lot of time for yourself because even in the early stages of your relationship there won’t be a lot of time for just you two. Be ready to skip the passionate part and think again if you really are ready to make a commitment.
Single moms are very loyal. They understand how difficult it is for you to accept not only them but their children as well. Even though it all might seem positive and optimistic, a lot of people, counselors say, fall apart because they are unable to fit. So, not to cause stress, always keep in mind what you are doing and why. Surely, an innocent child is not a reason the two grown-ups in love cannot be together.
Prepare to Do Some Good Work.
Single moms are special because they do a double amount of work. You will be amazed by her ability to organize, plan, clean, cook, and handle everything. That means you will be expected to keep up and do as much as she does which is probably more than you do now. Having a kid is a responsibility that changes a woman motivating her towards self-growth. It means that she already made some important life choices like having a family. Do not hesitate and act like you don’t think about your future. The question is not about whether you’re in your thirties or twenties because having a kid is a central point. You will be tested on your ability to be a father.
Everything You Need to Know About Single Mom Dating.
Tips for Dating a Single Mom Dating a single mom is not all about responsibilities. If you play your cards right, you might experience some incredibly pleasant benefits. For example, because single moms are more experienced they can do a lot themselves giving you time to do your own things. It is not at all like dating a girl who doesn’t know how to deal with an internet cable or coffee machine. A single mother would most probably do these and a million other things herself because she can. Single moms also do more because they are independent and because life made them rely on themselves. Here are some other tips for dating a single mom.
Don’t Badmouth Her Ex.
Never talk bad about her ex. You simply can’t do it because he is probably still a huge part of her life. In any case, she is seeing him regularly. Finally, you don’t want to create tension between her child and the father. Your first and most important role is husband provided that her ex is alive and well. Even if she has a full custody and does not talk to him, still better be quiet about her ex and do not yell a classic mistake: “it was very bad of him to leave you”. If you have the urge, do it when there is no child around. Still, you better not because she knows him much better than you, anyway.
Think About Self-Growth.
What you need to know about single mom and dating is that it can significantly improve your life. Don’t listen to the clichés such as “she has a burden too heavy for you” or “her child is not your child”. Think of it as a challenge which can encourage you. Responsibilities come with benefits. These benefits include your potential growth into a family man. You have a unique opportunity of trying to understand what makes your own family feels like before involving yourself in it completely. Try it and stick to it if you like it. But don’t make a common mistake and just avoid women who are much more interesting than most of them.
You Can Learn How to Be Around a Child.
You can try being a father before actually becoming one. This is a truly rare chance. Some men think they want to be fathers until they actually become ones. In our days, not everybody is fit to be a parent even though we are naturally predisposed to it. Think of this advantage: you can train to be a father and in the process of training decide whether you want a family or not.
How to Date a Single Mom?
Before going on a date with a single mom, think about everything that was said before. Put on your best suit or clothes which make you comfortable. This advice is universal – always be confident. A single mom is a confident woman. The circumstances of her life made her so. So, you have twice as more reasons to be confident around such woman to appear as a reliable man. Some single moms reported they were asked whether they considered an abortion. You should never ask such a silly thing for obvious reasons.
When you date a single mom, not every typical dating advice seems to work. For example, a single mom is not really interested in the diverse dating experience which includes drinking, dancing, and others ways of going out. She is more interested in you without distractions like watching movies or going to a party. Most probably, you will spend a lot of time at her place because that is where her child lives.
Not a Typical Dating.
To learn how to date a single mom means to learn how to be a real man. It is one thing to date a girl which may not consider you as her husband. It is completely another thing to date a woman who looks for a man to support herself and her child. Therefore, your role is not that of a seducer or an entertainer but of a supporter. You will be graded on your ability to support a single mother you wish to date.
Learn How to Look Past Her Motherhood.
When a woman is dating as a single mom she looks for a new husband. She does not just look for a husband per se. She already had one and it did not work. Actually, she looks for a partner. Logically, she will have more doubts about a new partner expecting him to meet her crucial demands. One of the most important demands is to be desired as a woman. Yes, she is a single mother, independent, self-reliable, responsible, and demanding. However, she is a woman who needs love and care just like anybody else. Therefore, do not treat her like a single mom all the time. Try to forget this fact and be attentive to what you really like about her.
Become a Friend of Her Kid.
This is the most common advice when the subject is single mom and dating. By befriending her kid you only prove yourself to be good with kids. The benefits of doing so include creating a bond between you and a single mother you are dating. She is more likely to have a connection with if you pay effort to make a connection with her child. Well, at some point you just won’t have any other option but to meet her kids and be friendly with them. Becoming their friend makes her more likely to be attracted to you.
Bring Her Kid a Present.
This is also a typical advice. It may sound as a bribe but it works when it is sincere. Pay a certain amount of attention to her child. If you still haven’t met her kid, express your desire to be around her family. Make a present so her child remembers you among other possible partners before or after. It can be something small or something big but do it moderately not to look like you’re trying to buy her kid off. Be wise about what present you make and when you make it.
Spend Some Fun Time with Her and Her Kid.
If everything is good, at some point in your relationship you will be asked to meet her kid/kids. You better ask to do it yourself so she would think that your decision is completely honest and sincere. Having her kid around when you spend your time together may not sound romantic. However, the bonding experience will make you feel like a family which is more important in a long-term perspective. Obviously, you can’t ignore her child and she won’t tolerate it. There is absolutely no way for you to love her and not to love her child. So, be a man and act first – ask her out with her kid.
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