If you want to know how to develop self control as a Christian, start with grace, then get practical: plan for your triggers ahead of time, remove easy temptations, practice small daily no's, protect rest and routine, and invite accountability. Self-control is part of the Spirit's fruit, and it grows with time and practice.
This guide is about the how. If you are looking for a longer list of verses, see these Bible verses about self-control. Four passages, quoted from the World English Bible (WEB), shape the steps below.
Self-control protects you. "Like a city that is broken down and without walls is a man whose spirit is without restraint" (Proverbs 25:28). In the ancient world, walls kept a city safe. Self-control guards what matters most to you.
Grace is the teacher. "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to the intent that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we would live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present age" (Titus 2:11-12). Change starts with God's grace, not with shame.
It takes training. "Every man who strives in the games exercises self-control in all things" (1 Corinthians 9:25). Paul adds, "I therefore run like that, not aimlessly" (verse 26). Athletes plan, practice and train over time.
It takes effort alongside faith. Peter urges believers to add "all diligence" to their faith, including "in knowledge, self-control; and in self-control, perseverance" (2 Peter 1:5-6).
The American Psychological Association describes willpower as "the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals." Several of its practical findings fit well with what Scripture already teaches.
Write down when you usually give in. What time is it? Where are you? Who is around? How do you feel: tired, lonely, bored, stressed or angry? Struggles often follow patterns, and you cannot plan for a pattern you have not noticed.
Jesus told his disciples, "Watch and pray, that you don’t enter into temptation" (Matthew 26:41). Watching includes thinking ahead. The APA notes that psychologists call one planning technique an "implementation intention," usually an if-then statement, and that research has found these plans improve self-control. Examples:
If I want to scroll in bed after 10 p.m., then I will charge my phone in the kitchen and read a psalm instead.
If a coworker criticizes me in a meeting, then I will write it down and respond tomorrow, not in the moment.
If I feel the urge to buy something online, then I will leave it in the cart for 24 hours.
The APA says avoiding temptation is one effective tactic and that "out of sight, out of mind" applies to adults too: in one study, office workers who kept candy in a desk drawer ate less of it than those who kept it in plain view. Make the wrong choice harder. Delete the app, unsubscribe from the sale emails, keep certain foods or drinks out of the house, or use content filters. First Corinthians 10:13 promises that God "will with the temptation also make the way of escape". Sometimes the way of escape is a door you close in advance.
Paul's athlete picture fits here. The APA notes that some experts compare willpower to a muscle, and that regularly exercising self-control may improve it over time. Practice on small things: finish one task before checking your phone, wait five minutes before a snack, or hold back a sarcastic comment. Small daily wins build strength for bigger moments.
Notice whether your slips cluster when you are tired, hungry or rushed, and plan around those hours. Build routines that make good choices automatic. According to the APA, once a good habit is in place you no longer need to draw on willpower to keep it going. A steady bedtime, regular meals and a weekly day of rest can all help.
The APA lists monitoring your behavior as a key part of reaching a goal. Track your progress simply, such as a mark on a calendar, and share it with someone you trust. A weekly check-in with a mature believer can help. Our guide to finding a Christian accountability partner walks through how to set one up.
One more tip from the APA: focus on a single goal at a time. If you struggle with food, spending and anger, pick one to work on first.
You will slip. Do not let one failure turn into a spiral of shame. Confess it to God, receive his forgiveness, and look at what happened. Which trigger was involved? Which part of your plan broke down? Adjust the plan and start again right away, not next Monday. Remember that the same grace that saves you is the grace that trains you.
Some struggles need more than a habit plan. If drinking, drugs, gambling, pornography, overeating, anger or any other struggle is harming your health, relationships, work or safety, please talk to a doctor, a licensed counselor or your pastor. Getting help is wise, not a sign of weak faith.
In the US, SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) is a free, confidential, 24/7 treatment referral and information service for people and families facing mental health or substance use problems. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.
It lists self-control as part of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:23, compares a person without it to a city without walls in Proverbs 25:28, and says grace trains us in it in Titus 2:11-12.
There is no shortcut, but two steps help quickly: remove easy temptations from your surroundings and write a few if-then plans for your trigger moments.
They overlap. Christians see self-control as fruit the Holy Spirit grows, which involves both God's help and your effort, not willpower alone.
Prayer matters, and Jesus paired it with watchfulness in Matthew 26:41. Add wise planning and honest friends, and if the struggle is serious, get professional help.
Ninefruit has nine practice tools, one per fruit, including self-control, and a private Fruit Log where you can record what happened and what you'd do differently, which suits reviewing your triggers. Its on-device tone check flags harsh wording in a message before you send it. The app is free with optional Premium in-app purchases, has no ads or tracking, and works offline.
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