Alice: Is your DNA programmed in C? Because it has a pointer to my heart!❤️

Bob: No, it's in Rust and that pointer is in an unsafe block.

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

Why did the Java developer teach his young kids about single quotes?

Because they build character.

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.

Why do programmers prefer dark mode? 

Because light attracts bugs.

A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code.

He refused to comment.

How many developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. It’s a hardware problem.

The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

Algorithm.

Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.

When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.

He reduces height and spots a man down below.

He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."