How to make moving with children a good experience for all

Adding a move to the mix of toddler, tween, or teen drama? Let’s face it: Changing schools, leaving friends, and abandoning a beloved childhood bedroom have the potential to make the process of moving with kids difficult — if not downright traumatic. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

First of all, kids are resilient and eminently adaptable — which is not to say it’ll be smooth sailing all the way. But grownups have the power to help minimize the tears and fears that often arise in the middle of moving with family

BE TRANSPARENT

Our tips for moving with family begin with honesty. Tell your kids why and when you’re moving — in age-appropriate language, of course — as soon as the plans are finalized. Is this a job-related relocation? Are you moving to be closer to family? Tell the kids in simple, direct language they’ll understand. If you’re blending families, for instance, consider your child’s relationship with your significant other before deciding how to have the conversation. Moving in together is exciting, but it can also be stressful. And moving in together with kids adds a whole new dimension.

INVOLVE YOUR KIDS IN THE MOVE

From picking a new house to packing up treasures, enlist your kids as part of the team — it’s a family event, after all.

Here are a few ideas for moving with family and getting them involved:

• Give your children a vote as you look for a home in your new town.

• Send them to their rooms — with a few boxes to pack.

• Unleash your kids’ inner decorators. From paint colors to pillowcases, let them help decide the look of their bedroom

CONNECT WITH OTHER PARENTS

This one is a win-win for you and your kids. Tap into your social networks for connections. Somebody always knows somebody, right? Or if your situation is a job relocation, ask your new HR director to refer you to local parents’ groups. Moving with a baby? Check out the library for weekly story times or playgroups

GIVE YOURSELF PLENTY OF TIME TO PREPARE FOR THE MOVE

As you’re winding down time in your old home and getting closer to moving day, the transition period will likely involve lots of unexpected moments: friends dropping in to wish you well, neighborhood going-away parties, and, inevitably, the occasional meltdown of one of your children — or you. Build in some buffer time to allow for these unplanned delays.

MAKE THE KIDS’ ROOMS A PRIORITY

Last and first: That’s how you should think about packing and unpacking your kids’ rooms — the last to pack up and the first to unpack. That way your kids have the most time possible in their old room, and they can begin getting settled right away in the new house