What is Charisma, and How Can I Gain It?
By Jax S.
“Where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes We Can,”
says one of America’s previous presidents, Barack Obama. Barack Obama had and still has the power to influence others and use his confidence and charm to persuade others to be better and to unite. In fact, the definition of charisma, which is “compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others” according to Oxford, may even remind you of this powerful man. You may find yourself wondering, “If charisma is a trait that makes a wondrous leader and powerful human being, how must I go about to get or gain it?”
Charisma is a trait that could have either positive or negative effects depending on the situation. If a leader is using his/her/their+ charisma in order to help lead a group with a good cause, the trait is being used properly. If a leader has bad intentions and uses his/her/their+ charisma to manipulate a group, this will have a negative effect.
If this doesn’t sound like you and you would like to have this marvelous trait for your own, you’re in luck: you can gain charisma. Just follow these simple steps.
- Listen more than you talk.
“Ask questions. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Frown. Nod. Respond—not so much verbally, but non-verbally.” It is important to make others understand that they are important and what they have to say is important. Perhaps try to make a gesture that you are listening, and have a conversation with them, just let them do more of the talking.
- Don’t practice selective hearing.
Certain people do not have the courtesy to listen to those they see as below themselves, therefore the speaker’s words are not processed and serve no purpose. If you aren’t that person at all, you will hear much more.
- Always give your full attention to whomever you may be listening to.
Put down the phone, put away the headphones, and close your laptop or book. Let the speaker know that he/she/they+ has your full attention.
- Give before you receive (but keep in mind, you may never receive!).
Your intent should not be getting something in return for your actions but giving. You can only connect with others if you give, whether it be giving items or experiences or even just simple conversations, actions, and how-do-you-does.
- “Don’t act self-important...
The only people who are impressed by your stuffy, pretentious, self-important self are other stuffy, pretentious, self-important people.
The rest of us aren’t impressed. We’re irritated, put off, and uncomfortable.
And we aren’t too thrilled when you walk in the room.
- ...Since you know other people are important.”
Sure, you may have a thing that makes you shine, but the world is full of individuals who also have their own thing that makes them shine. Conversate with others to get to know the features that make them great—you and your awesomeness are not alone.
- Shine the spotlight on others.
Absolutely nobody earns the amount of praise they should be receiving, so go tell someone what they are doing well.
- You have the power to choose your own attitude and your own words.
Try to be the nicest person you can be, and choose your words carefully. What you say and do could have its effects on others.
- Don’t discuss other people’s mistakes.
It may be nice to hear some gossip every now and then, but it certainly is not fun being gossiped about, and the person who shares your mistakes with others is not well-liked. Don’t be that person.
- Admit it when you have made a mistake of your own.
When you make a mistake, own up to it. Don’t try to blame it on someone else.
Steps found at LinkedIn page
What you say and do reflects and pretty much makes you who you are. In order to build your charisma and charm, you must be wary of the words you choose, how well you listen to others, and the actions you make.
Photo credit: https://ideas.ted.com/the-dark-side-of-charisma/