Heart of Ohio

Welcome, one and all, to the Heart of Ohio!

Where we have or have had

every!

conceivable!

thing!

We have been through hell and come out singing!

Welcome, travelers from distant lands, 

to the bleeding Heart of Ohio!

Where time spills out backwards

and unravels in our revolving doors!

In our vast showroom,

world class, unique and labyrinthine, 

we have seen and will yet see

every object of human manufacture

from the earliest mammoth-bone calendars

to the exhausted machinations 

of the automated factories

of this!

poisoned! 

Earth!

We have your future at the Heart of Ohio!

Every paper shredded,

every body burned,

all these things - and more!

Half off at the Heart of Ohio!