Aunt Debbie’s Frozen Lemon Meringue Pie

April 16, 2020

"I don't care about your Aunt Debbie's frozen lemon meringue cake."

I remember it through a haze of years. It was ten days to my Bar Mitzvah. I was on my Synagogue's bimah reading a polished draft of the speech I would give to the congregation. The Rabbi who had dutifully prepared me for what it meant to become an adult in the Jewish faith, as he had with many other children, stopped me mid-sentence.

But my aunt is coming all the way from Toronto, I thought to myself. And, her frozen lemon meringue cake really is that good! But the decision was made, my speech was going on too long and the line was cut.

My relationship with my Jewish identity is complicated. I went to a Hebrew bilingual elementary school, but have retained virtually none of the language, nor the social connections. I went to Jewish overnight camp, but stopped going when I got older and had to be away from home for three whole weeks. I participated in a Jewish group for young adults, but have been otherwise distant since that two-year stint. My family and I stopped attending high holiday services when I was in high school. We had also switched synagogues after my father made it clear he was looking for a seder to join, but no invitation was extended. I have often described myself as "Jew-ish" to distance myself from having to confront what being a Jew could mean for me.

Despite the complex ways I view my identity as a Jew, when the world began to shut down with the spread of COVID-19 I was most sad to lose was my family's annual Passover gathering at my Aunt Debbie's home in Toronto. Passover as a story of liberation and social justice presents a fulfilling mix of progress and hope, and ritual and tradition, which is still evolving within Judaism today. Passover remembers Jews’ exodus from slavery in Egypt about 3200 years ago. The story and its celebration continues to evolve. New additions can be found on the seder plate, such as oranges to include LGBTQ* Jews and olives in solidarity with Palestinians. New ways of connecting online have become standard practice, without rehearsal, in an era of social distancing. Passover is a reminder that as part of a diaspora, Jews around the world are already together while being physically far apart.

Passover is important to me because it is so deeply connected with seeing my family and celebrating part of my identity, which seems to fade into the back drop of my regular life every day. Gathering in Toronto brings nostalgia and reminds me of the importance of sharing the Passover story. These are the seders I grew up with and the people who brought them to life. Seeing this part of my family once a year makes Passover all the more important. Within the wider Passover tradition, my Aunt Debbie’s cake is the pinnacle of the meal and central to my family’s identity. As is our collective inability to sing.

As a celebration of freedom, Passover is brought to life through storytelling. It is a feast of symbolic food and family staples. Even when I have been somewhat of a contrarian, I have still felt a sense of belonging at the seder table. The fresh greens and salt water, drops of red wine, bitter herbs, haroset, eggs, matzah, and gefilte fish are all staples I love to devour (ritually, of course) before the feast. Pacing however is important and dessert cannot be missed. Especially, my Aunt Debbie's frozen lemon meringue pie.

I’m thankful to be able to publicly acknowledge my Aunt Debbie’s frozen lemon meringue pie. But my personal story as a Jew is far from over. This past Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur I went to synagogue for the first time in many years. I wanted to seek out a sense of belonging that I felt was missing from my life. Maybe, as cliché as it sounds, it was in me all along.

Ingredients
3 Whole eggs
3 Egg yolks
1/2 Cup lemon juice
Zest from 1/2 a lemon
1 1/2 Cups of sugar
6 Egg whites
Lady fingers

Steps
In a double boiler:
Mix 3 whole eggs, 3 egg yolks, 1/2 cup of lemon juice, 1 1/4 cup of sugar, and lemon zest. Cook till thick. Remove from stove and let cool. Beat three egg whites till stiff and add 1/4 cup of sugar. Fold egg whites into lemon mixture.

Put lady fingers on bottom of spring form pan. Pour in mixture and freeze overnight.

Next day:
Beat 5 egg whites and 5 tsbp of sugar till stiff.

Spread over frozen cake.

Broil until top is golden brown.

Refreeze cake.

Jesse's cooking responsibilities for Passover have never progressed beyond pealing apples, grating potatoes, and staying out of the way.