Visiting shut-ins in their homes is similar to visiting in a care facility, so be sure to read and know the instructions found in the Care Facility Visits page.
Most shut-ins who live in their own homes are able to care for themselves at some level, but simply cannot get out on their own and are dependent on others for transport and other needs. It is not unusual for these persons to want self-sufficiency, but they may be anxious about their future ability to remain in their own home. Your ministry to them may include conversation, prayer and scripture sharing, some hospitality if the shut-in has prepared something, and always, lots of reminiscing.
Howard Stone, in his book "The Caring Church, a Guide for Lay Pastoral Care" (Fortress, 1991), gives several suggestions for both hospital visits, nursing home visits, and visits to shut-ins at home. The following are selected from this list and applied to our home visits:
Make a appointment -- unless you are a close family friend, unannounced visits are not the best, usually.
If you are not well yourself, stay home. If you make an appointment but cannot keep it because you are not well, call them and reschedule.
Don't stay too long. Consider the person's condition and emotional state, and pay attention to cues which might suggest it is time to be moving.
Be aware that shut-ins, if they are ill, may act in unusual ways. This could be due to the effects of illness or side effects of treatment and medication. If you notice these things during your visit, quietly let the pastor of care know.
Sit where the shut-in can easily see you. Sitting at a 90 degree angle from them, or across from them when appropriate, are good placement. Remember that sometimes the peripheral vision of elderly persons is not as good as their forward vision. Or, if a person relies on reading lips, he or she more easily converses with you seated in front of them. Alternately, shut-ins with specific visual degeneration may be better able to see you to the side better than straight on. Try not to sit between your shut-in friend and a bright window, or you may appear as a dark sillouette. Ask your host, "where may I sit where it is convenient for you?"
Visit during the day. Evenings are usually times when your shut-in friend is getting ready to retire for the night.
Listen, listen, listen! Of course this is important if your shut-in friend speaks quickly, softly, or unclearly. Listen to what is said, and listen to what is non-verbally communicated. This is also important if you yourself feel rushed or otherwise preoccupied. A good training resource for listening skills might be the "Listening and Caring Skills" seminar at the church.
This may be obvious, but do not offer judgement upon the person because of their condition. If the person was a smoker and now suffers disease related to it, do not point that out-- Remember John 9:2. We are instead to be voices of God's grace and encouragement.
If there is an obvious medical condition which could be distracting to you, whether an oxygen machine, prosthesis, or other medical device, it is okay to acknowledge it but do not dwell on it.
If you are shocked by what you see or by odors in the home, try not to show horror on your face. Go with the flow on this one.
Do not relate other persons' illnesses or conditions to your shut-in friend. On the one hand, that is gossip unless you are relating your own condition; and on the other hand the visit is not about you, but about the person you are visiting. Exception to this rule may be if you have experienced the same condition and want to express that you sympathize with them. In that case, you should not spend a lot of time giving details about your own condition but only what is encouraging to your shut-in friend. Additional exception might be if you and your shut-in know each other so well that they ask you how you are doing.
Do not offer medical opinion or advice, even if you are medically licensed. Your visit in the name of the church family is not related to medical diagnosis and treatment, until and unless you are part of a church's parish nursing ministry.
Always remember to read scripture and pray with your shut-in. When you pray, mention the needs you have heard your shut-in mention to you.
Do not wander into other rooms besides the room you have been invited to sit in with your shut-in. Ask permission to use their washroom if you must, and if your shut-in wants to offer so e refreshment to you, it is okay to offer help in preparing or setting things up. But do not wander the home, do not touch their personal belongings without them first inviting you, and do not act in any way to take advantage of the shut-in or to make them feel uncomfortable.
Minister as a representative and child of Jesus Christ.