10 Signs of a Spiritually Abusive Organization
1) Absolute Truth Claims. There is naturally a sense where each church group has absolute truth claims. Obviously, "Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life" is a fundamental truth claim for any Christian organization. However, in abusive churches absolute truth claims are numerous, excessive and are often about insignificant issues. In abusive churches absolute truth claims often reflect the personal views and opinions of a church leader, past or present, and are expressed as divine dicta. Even minor traditions supported by leaders take on the authority of "Thus sayeth the Lord" in the minds of church members and the leaders themselves. Radical changes in doctrine or practices to fit the whims or changing political views of the current religious leadership is often a hallmark of these organizations.
2) Image Conscious. The abusive religious system is scrupulous to maintain an image of righteousness. The organization’s history is often misrepresented in the effort to demonstrate the organization’s special relationship to God. The mistaken judgements and character flaws of its leaders are denied or covered up in order to validate their authority. Impossibly high legalistic standards of thought and behavior may be imposed on the members. Their failure to live up to these standards is a constant reminder of the follower’s inferiority to his leaders, and the necessity of submission to them. Legalism is often at the very heart of an abusive religion.
3) Paranoia. Because the truth about the abusive religious system would be quickly rejected if recognized, outsiders are shown only a positive image of the group. This is rationalized by assuming that the religion would not be understood by “worldly” people; therefore they have no right to know about history, doctrines and practices. This attitude leads to members being secretive about the organization's history, doctrines and the inner policies and procedures of the group. Leaders, especially, will keep secrets from their members. False openness about the past that attempts to whitewash or rationalize already publicly known but difficult history or doctrines is a newer phenomenon. This secrecy is rooted in a basic distrust of others because the belief system can not stand up to scrutiny.
4) Blind Obedience. Abusive church leaders expect to be obeyed because they have the "Mind of Christ", "Priesthood Authority" or some other direct line to God that the membership general does not and cannot have. They know the Word of God and claim to be inspired to speak for Him in ways you cannot be. If you have a different opinion, solution or spiritual manifestation than someone higher in the hierarchy, you must be wrong and they must be right, you need to get your life in order, become worthy or get your mind right with God, then you will know the that they speak truth. To disobey them is to disobey God.
5) Suppresses Criticism. If the religious system is not based on the truth it cannot allow questions, dissent, or open discussions about issues. The person who dissents becomes the problem rather than the issue he raised. The truth about any issue is settled and handed down from the top of the hierarchy. Questioning anything is considered a challenge to authority. Thinking for oneself is suppressed by pointing out that it leads to doubts. This is portrayed as unbelief in God and His anointed leaders. Thus the follower controls his own thoughts through the fear of doubting God.
6) Perfectionistic. A most natural assumption is that a person does not get something for nothing. Apart from the express declarations of salvation by grace through faith God has given in the scriptures, it would be natural to think that one must earn salvation, or at least work to keep it. Thus, in abusive religions all blessings come through performance of spiritual requirements. Failure is strongly condemned so there is only one alternative, perfection. So long as he thinks he is succeeding in his observation of the rules, the follower typically exhibits pride, elitism, and arrogance. However, when reality and failure eventually set in, the result is often that the person experiences spiritual burnout, or even a shipwreck of his faith. Those who fail in their efforts are labeled as apostates, unworthy, deceived, desiring to sin or some other such term so that they can be discarded by the system and marginalized in the minds of "faithful" members.
7) Establishes a State of Fear or Anxiety. Abusive Church leaders often decry other religious organizations as unwholesome, dangerous, or even evil. Creating a false “Us vs Them” dichotomy with the world at large is also a common stratagem. Moralizing doctrines, practices and peculiarities that have no true moral bearing and then promoting fear of the evil “ways of the world” or "ways of the devil" (meaning the ways of everyone except for “Us”) to create a need for something an abusive leader or organization claims to provide, has been the baseline for most “End Time” type cults. Of course, a person who can keep people in a state of anxiety and fear is a person who can control and dominate others.
8) Deception in the Name of God. Many abusive churches are unethical and dishonest in their evangelistic tactics. They will sponsor and advertise a "community" event; an Easter egg hunt for children, a community barbecue, or a neighborhood Christmas party (with Santa Claus!), that is nothing more than a cover for a hard sell Gospel campaign or an opportunity to scout for new conversion prospects. There is nothing wrong with an event being a hard sell Gospel campaign or looking to share your religion, but false and deceptive advertising is morally and ethically wrong. Another example is artificial fellowship; the intentional focus of special attention by several leaders or "good church members" on others that they wish to "bring into the fold". If the target does not respond in the manner that the fellow-shippers desire the target is often abandoned in favor of a focus on someone "more prepared". Presenting such conditional love, support and compassion to manipulate others is ethically and morally wrong. Additionally, an abusive church may cover up the criminal or moral misconduct, or the past deceptions of its leaders on the grounds that if the reputation of the church is harmed, then the church's ability to win souls for Jesus is compromised. A perfect example that winning lost souls for Jesus' sake is more important than ethical and moral considerations was Jimmy Swaggart's refusal to accept church discipline because the Holy Spirit told him that thousands, even millions, of souls would end up in hell if he was not out there preaching.
9) Declaring Holy War. Abusive Christians often crusade for holiness and righteousness. Aldous Huxley noted that "Those who crusade not for God in themselves, but against the evil in others, never succeed in making the world better... To be more against the devil than for God is exceedingly dangerous." Of course, those who crusade for righteousness in others claim that they "hate the sin but love the sinner." One can only imagine that whenever one of these raging righteous guys talks about "hating the sin but loving the sinner" the angels up in heaven gag and vomit all over the celestial streets of gold.
10) Monetary Sacrifice Required for Salvation. God does not need your money but your pastor may want it. Donations should be completely voluntary, not coerced, no strings attached. Spiritual abusers often preach that the salvation of church members and their families are dependent upon their willingness to donate to the organization. Often reaching an elite level within the abusive organizations is dependent upon offerings of cash or the regular relinquishment of a percentage of income. When a person is willing to sacrifice everything for God and an organization or someone in a leadership position takes advantage of that devotion, that is spiritual abuse.