Girl's Guide to Successful Roommate Living

2) Tips for Before Move-In

10 ESSENTIAL Questions on Roommate Preferences & Rules (friendly convo, nothing set in stone)

• Are you an early bird or night owl? What are your preferred sleep times?

• What absolute quiet hours you need? At what time of day? How many hours each day?

• What are your temperature/fan preferences? Do you prefer a warm or cold living space?

• What are your study habits: desk vs bed, music vs silence, in dorm or outside of dorm (lounge, library)?

• How do you feel about guests in the room? How often? Overnights? Is notice required?

• What are your cleaning standards? What chores will align with these standards?

• What will be our borrowing rules? Clothes, makeup, chargers?

• What will be our food rules: labels, share some, or totally separate?

• What to use for room fragrance? Specific scents or preferences? Any sensitivities or allergies?

• What stresses you out in a shared space?

Pro move: Make a shared “Room Guide” Doc: rules & preferences, measurements, layout ideas, who brings what, arrival times, phone numbers!

3) The Roommate Agreement

Take your initial conversation one step further and create a detailed roommate agreement. Keep it one page, friendly, and specific. Print out to keep in your room or pin on your board!

Core Topics to Set

• Quiet hours: e.g., Sun–Thu 11pm–7am; Fri–Sat 12am–8am

• Lights: lamp after 10pm; eye mask/earplugs for the other

• Guests/Overnights: max X/week, text notice Y hours ahead

• Cleaning: weekly reset (Sun), mini tasks daily (dishes, trash, etc.)

• Shared purchases: paper towels, wipes, soap, trash bags

• Borrowing: “Ask first” / “No borrowing” / “Clothes ok, makeup no”

• Food/Fridge: labeled bins; “Share” shelf vs “Mine” shelf

• Privacy: no filming/recording each other without consent

• Conflict routine: 24-hour cool-off → 10-minute chat → RA if needed

3) Fun Roommate Ice-Breakers

Use one or two on day one, then sprinkle the rest during week one!

a)    Favorites Lightning Round

• Play a ‘favorites’ game! Take turns sharing your top picks in different categories—song, movie, food, hobby, TV show, starbucks order, late-night snack, celebrity crush. It’s an easy way to spark fun conversations, get to know each other, and discover things you both enjoy!

b)    Class Scouting Walk & Campus Tour

• Take a campus stroll to map your semester—locate each building and room and chat as you go! The wandering will lead to more natural and easier conversation than sitting in your dorm!

c)   Campus Coffee Walk 

• Take a coffee (or tea!) walk together around campus. Grab your go-to drink and use the time to chat about classes, hometowns, or fun plans for the semester!

d)    Light-hearted Questions that Spur Conversations

• • What’s your “i’m not myself without it” morning thing?

  • What song instantly puts you in a good mood?

  • If we planned a 30-minute roommate date, what would we do?

  • What’s your go-to comfort show and how many times have you watched it through?

  • What’s your “fun fact” that’s actually fun?

  • What tiny luxury (under $20) do you swear by?

  • Who are the top 3 artists on your playlist right now?

  • What is the one item you’d save first in a dorm evacuation (after people/pets)?

  • If you had an unlimited budget for one dorm upgrade—what’s your pick? 

4) Roommate Best Practices

Expect Respect, Not Perfection:

Your roommate doesn’t have to be your best friend; the goal is a clean, kind, and calm space. Being best friends is great, but by no means essential.

Assume Good Intent
Most friction = timing or stress. Start with curiosity (“Everything ok today?”) before a complaint.

Kindness Deposits
Tiny favors count: take the trash when you’re already heading out, reset the pillows, refill the soap. They compound.

Room-Tone Check-In (once a week, 5 min)
Two prompts: “What’s working?” + “One tiny tweak?” Keep it bite-sized and solutions-only.

Third-Space Time
If you need solo energy, call it: “I’m going to study lounge for a bit.” Space makes the room feel bigger.

No Midnight Problem-Solving
After 11pm: parking lot big topics. Sleep > spiral. Revisit tomorrow with tea and a timer.

When Something Bugs You (micro-message)
“I feel [feeling] when [specific thing]. Could we try [one small change]?”
Keep it one request, not a list.

5) Communication That Actually Works

The 2-2-2 Rhythm

• 2 minutes daily: “Anything bugging you today?”

• 2 topics weekly: Sunday reset (guests, cleaning plan).

• 2 wins monthly: “What’s working great in our room?”

I-Statement Script 

“I feel [feeling] when [specific behavior/impact]. Could we try [one clear request]?”

Examples:

• “I feel scattered when dishes sit overnight. Could we rinse and stack before bed?”

• “I wake easily with the overhead light after 11. Could we switch to the desk lamp then?”

Text Template (gentle)

“Hey! Quick note: the trash is full & kinda smelly. Can we take turns on Sundays? I’ll do this week. 💗”

7) Guests, Safety & Respect

• Guest cap: set a weekly limit and notice window.

• Overnights: agree on how many/month & the courtesy text format.

• Safety basics: door locked, valuables in a lockbox, AirTag on keys, campus safety app installed.

• Alone time: agree on “I need the room” windows during exams or Zoom interviews.