The Crucifixion Café

"Does that look anything like anything Jesus Christ had in mind?"

– Bill Maher.

"Food... water... atmosphere..."

– Dying customer, SpongeBob SquarePants.

Introduction

The Crucifixion Café is an American chain bar and grill throughout the northeastern and western United States, the first location opening in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania in 2012. The restaurant is themed after the biblical story of Jesus of Nazareth's sentencing, crucifixion, and death at the hands of Pontius Pilate and the Roman Army, oftentimes sensationalizing the brutality of the execution and torture methods incorporated, like flogging and the Crown of Thorns. Since the day of the original Philadelphia location's grand opening, Christian communities across the country have condemned the restaurant and expressed their disgust over the light-hearted attitude presented towards Jesus' brutal treatment and execution, several Pennsylvania senators and the Pennsylvania state House of Representatives offering their own criticisms. In 2013, a series of cyanide bombs were secretly planted under three separate tables in a Michigan Crucifixion Café, but when the devices refused to detonate, the half-naked Jesus mascot at the restaurant had his cloth skirt set ablaze, which resulted in no injuries but plenty of laughter from customers. The outcry in response to the restaurant's opening have been described as comparable to many audience's responses to Martin Scorsese's 1988 drama film The Last Temptation of Christ, with the attempted terrorist attack resembling the fire set to the Saint-Michel cinema in Paris, France by an integrist Catholic group with an incendiary device in response to the screening of the film being held there. Despite this, the restaurant has remained in business and is generally considered to be a clever and inventive form of religious satire, particularly among secular customers and critics.

The idea for The Crucifixion Café was conceived by, surprise surprise, Samuel Burke and his father Greg, specifically while dining at Sullivan's Steakhouse in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania for his sister Olivia's birthday. How the conversation that led to its conception began is anyone's guess, but the groundwork for the restaurant was laid out by Greg, including the white concrete architecture of classical Rome, biblical costume contests, and live recreations of the minutes leading up to Jesus' death, with an actor playing a bloody and half-naked Jesus being led through the building by Roman soldiers, clearly after having been flogged and nailed to the cross. Greg's plan for Roman soldiers and consuls to offer customers a chance to "whip the Christ" also made it into the final result. After overhearing him at the steakhouse, a Harrisburg dining executive and architect named Heath N. Sinix contacted Greg by email two weeks later, explaining that dining options were lacking in the state's capital city and the potential behind "that wonderfully twisted parody you devised." Business associates of Sinix have also claimed that Monty Python alumni Michael Palin, John Cleese, and Eric Idle offered to fund the project, having parodied Christianity, the Catholic Church, and religion in general in their feature films Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life, as well as on their British comedy television series Monty Python's Flying Circus, which first started airing in 1969. After relocating to Duxbury, Massachusetts, the Burke family supposedly attended a Crucifixion Café costume contest at Colony Place in Plymouth, to which Greg came as a Roman centurion and Sam as Pontius Pilate. Reportedly, after Greg asked his son, "Show them, son," Sam proceeded to make a hand-washing gesture with both hands, referencing Pilate's reluctant decision to "wash his hands" of the situation and have Jesus crucified. The Burke family won second place for this performance, but Greg allegedly snuck off with the first place cash prize of two hundred dollars while no one was watching.