Tom Heat

"Yeah, Ivan's problem could become your problem, real quick."

— Tom Heat, seconds before the gunfight that killed him.

"This scene is beautiful."

– Rich Evans, RedLetterMedia.

"He was a good time guy if your idea of a good time was an expensive suit, a bottle of champagne, and nothing between the ears."

– Max Payne, Max Payne 3.

Introduction

Thomas Boyle Heat was an uneducated bodyguard for Ivan Versace, the alias of legendary filmmaker Vitaliy Versace, who fled to America to get married, start a family, give up his Russian mafia ties, and shamelessly stumble on his own words. Little about Heat's personal life or criminal background is known, and he was shot to death while defending Versace's online friends from a squad of mafia hitmen. His mysterious past has lead to numerous conspiracy theories in the Burkehead Realm, the most popular and accepted of which claims that he belonged to an alien race called the Rosaceans, all of whom are extremely humanoid in appearance save for pink patches of skin that resemble the skin condition rosacea, as well as significantly lower standard IQs than those of humans.

No funeral service was ever held for Heat due to his lack of any known immediate family, and so, his body was buried near the site of his death with a wooden makeshift grave that read, "RIP Tom. That gay porn star is next!", and the only traces of his existence lie in internet reviews of the documentary on Versace and his attempts to avoid taking over his father's family business, Born into Mafia, from 2007. The review to garner the most attention was released by RedLetterMedia, who discussed it as part of a larger episode about other films by directors whose films have been discussed before on the YouTube channel's show Best of the Worst, the two other films reviewed having been Dragon Hunt (1990) by Martin and Mitchell McNamara and Tartarus (2005) by David Wascavage.