There Will Be No Nonsense in King Arthur's Court

The Holy Graal

For Christmas dinner, the Knights of the Round Table had gathered in the revered halls of Camelot to toast merrily for their good fortune and good fortune to come. However, the ruckus stilled as a brilliant light filled the hall. There was the Holy Graal, which Jesus drank from during The Last Supper. A warm feeling filled the hearts of the people near it, and they felt bereft as the light dimmed and the Holy Graal vanished from human sight once more. The ruler of these halls, King Arthur, felt grateful for the miracle and was about to announce for the party to recommence when his right-hand-man Sir Lancelot stood.

"My King, forgive me, but I ask that you pardon my oath to serve you and Camelot. The great purpose of finding the Holy Graal is a calling I shall not ignore!"

To Lancelot's bold decree, all the other knights too proclaimed their wish to search for the Holy Graal.

"No. You are not pardoned, and as knights, you must still fulfill your obligations to me." Arthur breathed, struggling to contain his annoyance.

"What do you suppose will happen to Camelot if you suddenly leave? Bandits and foreign armies will march in and harm the people we swore to protect. And do you really think any of you are worthy of finding the Holy Graal when I can see your own lust for honor through such a quest?'

Lancelot and the other knights looked down, ashamed.

King Arthur spoke, "My friends, let us instead enjoy the company we have, and should you still wish to go on this quest for the right reasons, train someone to take your place so the land will not be without protection."

The knights agreed, and Camelot was saved from stupidity by their beloved King Arthur.

Merlin's Lover

King Arthur was looking over reports at his desk when his old friend Merlin the Wizard scrambled into the room. However, something was very different about his serious friend. For one thing, Merlin's pupils were heart-shaped, which King Arthur was positive was impossible. However, King Arthur had no time to think on the matter further, for Merlin began to speak.

"Oh, Artie! She is just the most wonderful creature I've ever beheld. I just wish we could stay together forever! You know..."

King Arthur blinked. 'Ah, so Merlin is talking about Lady Vivien again, is he? Honestly, who would have thought the old wizard could act like a puppy in love." Something clicked into Arthur's mind.

"Merlin, what did you just say?'

"I said that Vivien is the heart of my body, and that-"

"No, before then."

"Before-oh, you mean how I said that I will gladly accept her face as the last I will ever see?"

"Yes, that. What does that mean?"

"Well, you see, Vivien plans on killing me with a spell that I'm currently teaching her! She's so talented at magic!"

"Merlin, come here real quick."

Merlin walked towards King Arthur and was promptly knocked out by a hit to the head.

Later that evening, Lady Vivien was arrested and charged with the crimes of poisoning Merlin with a love potion and treason for her plans to weaken the crown by assassinating Merlin. Once again, King Arthur's common-sense saved Camelot.

Original Story: Original Story from King Arthur: Tales of the Round Table by Andrew Lang. Source.

Image Information: "King Arthur" (1903) by Howard Pyle. Source.

Author's Note: For this story, I struggled to create an epic piece like the others in my portfolio. Because of this, I decided to create a story with a comedic, light-hearted tone about a King Arthur who will not put up with any nonsense in his court. One of the stories involving King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table is the appearance of the Holy Graal, which causes all the knights to vow to search for it. In doing so, they broke their oaths to serve King Arthur and protect Camelot. Without the Knights of the Round Table, Camelot is left vulnerable to attack and corruption, which causes devastation later down the line. Another plot point is the death of Merlin. Merlin becomes infatuated with a woman named Vivien, who plots to learn magic from Merlin and kill him. Merlin is fully aware of Vivien's plans, but he is too in love to try to stop her and sees his death as inevitable. In short, people made stupid decisions, which caused a lot of chaos to befall Camelot later down the line, so I decided to make King Arthur put a stop to these stupid decisions.