What is it that you do?

I work as a psychologist in a drug use disorder rehabilitation center that provides psychological assessments, family therapy, and post-rehabilitation interventions for youth and their families. I work with families post-rehab but mainly address unhealthy behaviors pre-substance use, meaning youth who are not yet addicted but are in the risk zone due to their behaviors. Many of my clients are adolescents with families that have communication issues, and they also need some help in learning how to set boundaries and follow the rules at home.

Why is active listening so important?

Active listening can solve a lot of problems. Listening actively and productively is what we need in society. But you need to add care and concern to that because, otherwise, there is no change possible. Communication is vital. We have to keep trying to talk. It's what makes us human, but even animals communicate with each other!

What happens to a child that is not listened to?

A child who is not listened to feels alone, isolated, and ignored. They will look for others outside of the home who will listen to them. I see it as a child's right to be listened to, to not be ignored.

How have you been using 'Listen to First' materials in your work?

I like Listen First's approach to curbing the problem at an early age because it works. I was looking for fun materials as a take-off for my therapy sessions. Young people are exposed to so many things. They have video games and spend so much time on screens. So, during the pandemic, when most of my work moved online, I was looking into how I could introduce them to cartoons that they could like and also learn from. I found the 'Listen First' videos, the 'Ice Cream Rules’ about setting clear rules and boundaries, and the videos about active listening particularly useful, and the young people and their parents like them. I even used the materials with a non-binary client who felt misunderstood. I will also start using the term "Super Skills" with my younger clients. The videos have a very clear message, and they are non-racial and gentle!

What does a typical session look like?

When these families come and seek help, they are usually not talking to each other. There is an extreme breakdown in communication. I show the videos and leaflets to start the conversation, and it works! I will ask reflective questions. What is it about this video? Do you think you can learn from this? Is there anything here you like? If you were these parents, would you do something differently? And then I listen to what they have to say. Prevention workers should encourage families to listen to each other, and we have to promote active listening in society as a whole.

This month we're focusing on the Super Skills “integrity” and "respect." What does respect have to do with substance use prevention?

Listening is about showing respect to each other. I always emphasize to our counselors to be mindful of the violation of boundaries because that is when you can see that the problems start. That’s my experience. The parents often say he started lying, coming home late at night, or missing classes, to raise his voice. These are all signs of disrespect or unhealthy behavior that indicate problems.

You're mainly working with teenagers. Would it be helpful with "Listen First" material for teenagers?

Yes, it would be very helpful. I suggest that those would be interactive videos where teenagers can participate actively in and practice problem solving and decision making and give their thoughts on certain things.

Learn more about Ms. Abas’ work here.

Maria N. Clara Abas is the head of the Psychology section of St. Luke’s Medical Center Global City, a consultant psychologist at the Total Care Institute Village and the One Algon Academy, and the managing therapist of the Philippine Online Psychologist Facebook page. She holds an International Certificate as an Addiction Professional, Clinical Level II, and a Master's in Addiction Counseling. She is a Global Master Trainer of the Colombo Plan-Drug Advisory Program and a Global Drug Demand Reduction Trainer of the UNODC.