Who's to Blame in the Garden of Eden?

God went looking in the Garden for Adam and Eve, but he did not see them because they were hiding. God knew what this meant: they must have eaten the figs from the Tree of Knowledge in the midst of the Garden.

God had expected this might happen, and he knew he would have to punish them. He had told the man Adam that he would die if he ate the figs that came from that tree. But he wanted to give Adam and Eve a chance to confess what they had done, and he would forgive them if they admitted to eating the figs. If not, well... so be it.

God called out to Adam, "Adam, where are you?"

Adam heard God's voice from where he and Eve were hiding in the trees, awkwardly pressing fig leaves against their bodies, trying to cover their nakedness.

"I am hiding here in the trees," Adam shouted.

Eve stared at him in amazement. Fool! Why couldn't he just keep his mouth shut?

"You never hid from me before," God said. "Tell me what happened."

"That woman, the one you made, she gave me fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, and I ate it."

Now Eve was really angry. Adam was going to try to blame it all on her!

"Eve," said God, "what have you done?"

Eve shouted, "The serpent tricked me; he made me eat the figs."

Then God called out to the serpent. "Serpent, explain yourself!"

The serpent came slithering quickly in response to God's summons. "It was all that other female'sssssssss fault; I wasssssss jussssssst following ordersssssss."

As the snake was still hissing, Adam's first wife burst forth in a flash of light and stood there staring God face to face.

"Okay, I did it," Lilith said defiantly. "I told the serpent to trick Eve into eating the figs. But it wasn't my idea: Samael put me up to it."

God had suspected Samael might be involved. He was one of the worst troublemakers among the ranks of the angels.

"Samael!" God shouted. "SAMAEL!"

Thus summoned, Samael came swooping down from the heavens, alighting on the ground next to Lilith.

"That's right," he said. "I asked Lilith to help me get revenge on Adam because he cooked and ate my child!" Samael was still carrying the empty stewpot in which Adam had cooked the little boy's corpse.

Adam then came rushing out from behind the trees, dropping his fig leaves as he ran. "It's not my fault!" he shouted. "Eve told Samael she would take care of the baby, but then she just went off and left him lying there, and he wouldn't stop crying, and that's why I killed him. But it's all Eve's fault, not mine!"

"You're always blaming me for everything!" Eve also came out into the open, pointing a finger accusingly at Adam while still clutching a fig leaf with her other hand. "That wasn't my fault. I was trying to get supper ready before you came home, and I had to go get more wood to put on the fire."

Then, looking up at God, she added, "This all happened because the fire is so greedy for wood; it's the fire's fault, not mine."

"Fire," God said patiently, "what do you have to say about all this?"

A flicker of flame rose up from the ground and whispered, "It's not my fault that I am greedy for wood. That is how you made me, God. So, if you think about it, you are the one to blame for it all."

God had not expected this. Was it really his fault? He pondered what the fire had said. Yes, he should have been more careful when he created the fire.

"I'm sorry, Fire," he said. "It is in your nature to eat the wood. You are not to blame for what happened."

"It's okay, God," said the fire. And then he added, "And I'm sorry you had to go get more wood to feed me, Eve."

Eve said, "I accept your apology, Fire."

And so the fire vanished.

Then Eve looked accusingly at Adam.

"Well," Adam said, "I shouldn't have blamed you for leaving the baby alone. And I'm sorry I went and killed him, Samael. That was wrong of me."

Samael was still angry, but he nodded at Adam and said, "Lilith was only doing what I told her. I shouldn't have used her to get my revenge like that." He then took flight, vanishing into the sky as dark storm clouds gathered in his wake. Samael would visit the humans again in his own time.

Next it was Lilith's turn. "I admit I had a grudge against Adam and Eve, but that doesn't mean I should just do whatever Samael tells me." She turned to the serpent and added, "Serpent, I am sorry I got you involved in all of this."

The serpent waved his head slowly up and down in acknowledgment of Lilith's words as he hissed an apology to Eve. "Sssssso sssssssorry for what I did."

Then Lilith and the serpent both vanished; only God, Adam, and Eve were left.

And that's how Eve found herself apologizing to Adam. "I didn't want to be the only one in trouble, so I made you eat the figs with me. I'm sorry."

Adam hugged Eve and said, "I'm sorry, too."

Then they both looked up at God, wondering what would happen next.

God smiled and said, "I think we all learned something from the Tree of Knowledge today. Things will be different from now on, but we'll figure something out to make it all work. Let me go write down some notes about all of this and get back to you."

God eventually returned with the Torah, which he gave to Adam and Eve. But that's the beginning of another story, and the end of this one.