The New Market Hardware Company
Copyright John Edward King

AT THE CORNER OF LECLEDE AND SARAH,

IN THE CENTRAL WEST END

A PLACE NOT FAR FROM GASLIGHT SQUARE,

AND JUST AROUND THE BEND

FROM THE OLD MOTOR CAR FACTORY

WHERE PEOPLE USED TO SAY

IF ITS BROKE LETS TAKE IT DOWN

TO THE NEW MARKET COMPANY

(CHORUS)

WELL THE OLD NEW MARKET HARDWARE CO

IS A FRIENDLY KIND OF STORE

THEY'LL KEEP YOUR FLUSHER FLUSHIN

AND THEY’LL PUT STOPPERS ON YOUR DOORS.

THERE ISN'T MUCH THAT THEY WON'T DO

IT'S A TRIP INTO THE PAST

TELL THE NEW MARKET FOLKS JUST WHAT YOU NEED

AND THEY'LL GET IT FOR YOU FAST

FROM SCREWS THAT TURN THE WRONG WAY

TO SUSPENDERS FOR YOUR SOCKS,

YOU'LL FIND IT THERE AT NEW MARKET

IN A DRAWER OR IN A BOX

THEY AINT MUCH FOR THIS STICK-ON STUFF,

AND PLASTIC THIS AND THAT

BUT IF YOUR LOOKING FOR SOME DOODAD THING

THEY'LL TELL YOU, "WE GOT THAT!"

(CHORUS)

WELL THE OLD NEW MARKET HARDWARE CO

IS A FRIENDLY KIND OF STORE

THEY'LL KEEP YOUR FLUSHER FLUSHIN

AND THEY’LL PUT STOPPERS ON YOUR DOORS.

THERE ISN'T MUCH THAT THEY WON'T DO

IT'S A TRIP INTO THE PAST

TELL THE NEW MARKET FOLKS JUST WHAT YOU NEED

AND THEY'LL GET IT FOR YOU FAST

(LEADS)

FROM SPRINGS THAT SPRANG AND BING AND BOING

TO A HINGE THAT FLIPS AND FLOPS

TO CATCHES THAT GO KLICK AND CLACK

AND A POPPER THAT JUST POPS

IF YOU’R LOOKING FOR A LEFT HAND GIDGET

TO WORK IN THAT TIGHT SPACE

DO NOT FRET, THE WORM HAS TURNED,

AISLE FIVE IS THE RIGHT PLACE.

IF YOU GO THERE ON SATURDAY

BETTER GET THERE NICE AND EARLY

BY TEN THE CROWDS ARE BLOCKING THE ISLES

AND THE CASHIERS GETTING SURLY

A LITTLE PAST NOON THEY'LL TELL YOU SORRY

WE'RE CLOSING UP THIS STORE

BUT IF YOU'VE GOT A NEED JUST BANG LIKE HELL,

AND THEY'LL LET YOU IN THE DOOR.

(CHORUS)