Dope

300 word remark

We know the nice rush of pleasant new brain chemistry that comes with relief: You were hungry and got a sandwich & coffee, you were jonesin’ & got a hit, you really felt like a pointless drive or walk and you got an opportunity to enjoy one. But there’s something different about being broke and then getting some cash. You go from a reality of paucity, where you could be sitting there online doing nothing, to a reality of simply knowing your creature comforts are available to you, sitting there online and doing nothing. Not eating, not smoking, no coffee in your cup. So you & your desk area look exactly the same, but the truth of your circumstances makes you an entirely different creature.

Broke, you read shit without reading it and have to re-read or give it up. That magnificent photograph is like whatever and everyone on Twitter sucks. All the news is a vile outrage that turns your thoughts to your own life’s injustices and makes you a tangle of dark courtroom scenes where your offenders are sent to hang chained to a stone wall, nodding balefully.

But when there’s some fresh new commanders-in-chief (deceased) in your pocket, you surf merrily along, laughing at what’s funny, happy to talk with your friends. You’re moved to verklemptitude by stunning photography and you’re easily learning all kinds of new things.

I want an fMRI scan of that second thing. What is the concoction, there? Can we get a chemical snapshot? I think I want a visual representation of what I should be aiming for at times when I have to work at feeling or seeming okay. Truly okay. I want a potion or formula that will induce ‘Cash In Pocket’ brain.

Often, okay looks pretty damn dope.