My Stress Tsunami  

If two systems define the word stress, they’re the medical system and the government. And when they converge, even stress-reduction tools become a stress tsunami.  

It started simply enough: my wife suggested a Caribbean cruise with her sister and brother-in-law. The flight across the country and carry-on rules didn’t faze me. The stress began when I realized my passport was about to expire.  

I went online to get the forms. None of the three browsers I tried would let me fill them out electronically. So I printed them, and my wife filled them out for me—my handwriting makes a doctor’s look elegant.  

Next came the photo. I put on a nice white shirt and headed to the UPS Store. But the clerk refused to take my picture—white shirt against a white background. The State Department doesn’t like that. So I changed shirts and came back the next day.  

Eventually, I mailed everything in. I was born in the U.S., my parents were too, and I speak only English. The passport came without a hitch.  

Next came the annual eye exam. My wife insists I go to check for glaucoma or cataracts. Every year, the optometrist hands me a glasses prescription. I don’t think I need them, but they’re covered by insurance, so I go along.  

Truth is, I could use some help for reading and for my 27-inch computer monitor, which sits three feet away. Cheaters work fine for reading. For the screen, I’m OK but could be better.  

I tried progressive lenses—helpful up close but useless for the screen. Then bifocals—same issue. I suggested two pairs: one for reading, one for distance. Still no good. I returned to the doctor. He adjusted the prescription. It’s better—not perfect.  

While there, I asked about the DMV eye test. He said I’d pass.  

Soon after, I got a letter from my health insurer suggesting I try Headspace for stress or sleep trouble. I downloaded it—then saw it had a monthly fee. The flyer said it was free for members, but “only” if accessed through the insurer’s site. I tried that and was told I was already subscribed. After a frustrating exchange with support, I think it’s now working.  

Which brings me to today’s DMV visit.  

My license was up for renewal. I already had a Real ID, so this was routine. I filled out the online form, chose the Sacramento office, and scheduled a 2:00 p.m. appointment. I arrived at 1:00, checked in at 2:00, and got number F485. About 20 minutes later, my number came up.  

They reviewed my form, took my fingerprint, and sent me for a new photo.  

“What about the eye test?” I asked.  

“You’re done,” said the photo clerk. “Go home.”  

Still uncertain, I looked up DMV policy online. It said that seniors are required to take an eye test. So I went back and asked another clerk.  

“You don’t need one,” she said. “You’re all set.”  

Back home, I asked ChatGPT why I wasn’t tested. I explained my age, record, and recent eye exam. The answer:

“It’s unusual, but not incorrect. If DMV staff reviewed your file and confirmed everything was satisfied, you’re good. You weren’t skipped by mistake—you were likely waived from the eye test due to your excellent driving record and recent medical history.”  

Looks like some stress is off my back. Tonight, I look forward to listening to my sleep app.  

Pleasant dreams.

~ Al Zagofsky