Born between rosemary and leather,

between heavy reins and a tender touch 

palomas turned to doves,

chuparrosas to hummingbirds 

Batons slipped through hands

from generation to generation

Each taught the next to maneuver and

balance

before fingers overlapped, and strength

fathomed

any limit

Nina Luz,

How is it – a woman

With such a grounded presence

Felt so alone and isolated?

You wished for your feet to be back, near

ciruelos you’d fly to in May

harvest and sun-dry

and return in June

to hand us sweet pieces of your homeland

Who told you

to pour your sorrows

onto curious 

trinkets, cats,

intricate embroidery,

pothos, and sketchbooks?

Who told to you

hummingbirds

sucking nectar from purple milkweed

offer the simplest form of joy?

Nina Tacha, How

Did you pave your way?

first person in your municipality

to offer rural children an education

and extending a home to students who lived far away

How did you keep your spirit alive for 105 years?

You’d offer 6-year-old me coffee then

But now sounds changed form

I tread in darkness

holding bristled reins gingerly

Was it ever any different?

I wish to tell you hooves still hit the earth in the same rhythm,

the birds still sing their songs

and the knife chopping into a wooden cutting board 

still sows love

happiness meets the tongue

love enhanced by the fruit of the Earth, 

astringent when taken for granted

grasping the knot at my throat

I listen in hopes to find you

In wind, ocean waves, maybe the flaps of a bird

To extend into my chest

And say

Thank You

Taken aback, taken out

of comfort; of mind

my soul reaches--- for a moment

to make sense of

In Mountains and Hills,

And all the little ways to traverse them

I grasp for connection,

for a possibility of pure love

my little heart plays

a frequency

of bees humming

knowing my only safety:

a rope with a little slack

my own balance

and concentration

slipping out 

of 

the 

beat

marked by the small arm on the clock

while I am alive

is the only option

I walk the line comfortably

Paved by mentors and opportunity, it stretches out far and wide for me

Still, I trip

Over first world problems, I let them chip at me. 

My Tia Marina walks a tight rope,

Her road chipped away by tumors.

She follows guardian angels

through fleeting moments

She balances gracefully,

with a newfound twinkle in her eyes.

I see shattered glass

and I think of the cost

Instead, she declares,

the first, last, and only bottle that shattered,

the final touch of a golden paintbrush

how much does your heart weigh?

is it heavy or light?

give it to me

did you grow up watching cartoons on Saturdays?

shhh, don't look 

at the abyss

Look down

your watch reads:

you're late.

you hear it? 

precious time ticking 

give it to me  

I'll pay you for it

it's weight in gold 

And in return you get 

to sit 

In a lobby reserved just for you 

Follow the biochemical loop

Wait time indefinite

Your every need, catered for. 

restlessness included. 

you won't notice it after some time. 

But there it is,

for you 

Sitting

in a dusty pizza parlor

Antiquated arcade games spewing out

ominous songs we might’ve

gotten

sucked

into,

in an alternate reality

Today we sit in this little booth

8 years of friendship stretched across a tiny wooden table

In between stained glass and an old safe

Between San Luis Obispo and Santa Barbara

Before it was just Salinas, but now,

Green everywhere

Green mountains

Green rug and seats and light fixtures

Green pants you thrifted

I get to see the new life you’ve made

Accents of walnut corners

walnut walls, tables, and frames

This nook was waiting for us

We laugh at the tables

We laugh at the lanterns too

Lanterns

We’ve been carrying

Into dark corners

Following shadows

Not to dwell in

But to pull into the light

Under a February full moon

The smallest full moon of the year

I encounter the community you’ve built,

of friends who match your quirkiness,

and the light they carry,

It’s just like ours

Suddenly we are kids again

Yet this time we are unafraid

Of the lanterns we've had to carry

to get here

As a matter of fact, right now,

they don’t even exist

All I see are

beams

bouncing off the walls, and into

the hearts we bear

gentle scents caress

my perceptions

tart wildberries

velvet moss

birds chirping overhead

creeks flowing

photons pierce through whispering oak leaves

to a percolating batter

a fluff of organic matter

cycling elements

You remind me of worlds in—

conceivable and perceivable

 —and out 

I follow you into the garden

around the corner

of the sensory thresholds this world has to offer

You see, I rely on my senses

   only 5: touch, sight, hear, smell, taste

        within taste, again, only 5: sweet, salty, bitter, umami

                                     combine senses Taste & Smell

                                                                             unlock                                   hundreds of aroma compounds

                                                                                                                  a floating symphony

                                                                                                               floral and vanilla

                                                                                       mingle and intertwine into one:

                                                                     Chocolate!

Oh the limitations of the senses,

but also the power!

Angels, 

you speak to me

You sing and paint to me in this garden

You put my senses in a trance

But still, I may trip,

falling out of your presence

if I fail to see

Matter turns to Light

Just as Light turned to Matter,

And into you,

may I be absorbed

Now,

and again

And then again, when the time comes

Three weeks ago a woman asked me a question I couldn't 

answer

Two nights ago it was Christmas And I held, in my heart, A

secret conviction

My friends My dear old friends Just as strange And 

peculiar As me And well I laughed and rest assured My

heart is full

So my peculiar self slipped Out into the night Assured

Secret No longer The evening simple And pure

Slipped into nothingness And rest assured Hearts were

humming nearby And I listened I was there