The first thing you see when you load up Drug Dealer Simulator is a warning that it contains content "inappropriate for whining bitches", which should give you an idea of how serious its depiction of the drug trade is. The Wire this ain't. But to its credit, it isn't just a throwaway novelty like Goat Simulator or Table Manners either. There's an actual game here, and some interesting systems to tinker with, including being able to create your own drug concoctions.


I start the day by dropping Eddie, my cartel contact, a DM on ShadyComm, Drug Dealer Simulator's take on the deep web. Eddie says he's my "daddy, boss, and fuckin' wife in one person", which is nice. I ask for some weed and amphetamine, and he says he can have it ready for me to sell in 30 minutes. The writing and voice acting are hilarious, by the way. Unintentionally.

I can use this time to explore the streets a little, or just hit the T key to wait, Skyrim-style. Drug Dealer Simulator is set on the graffiti-smudged streets of some anonymous, possibly American city. But it's, uh, not entirely convincing. I get a message from Eddie, who says the drugs are waiting for me in a dead drop in a nearby industrial area, hidden under some pallets.


Dead drops are a way of distancing the dealer from the supplier, but take too long to find them and they can be stolen. Luckily I reach Eddie's stack of pallets in time and grab my speed 'n' weed. But before I hit the streets, I have a plan to maximise my profits. I stop in at a nearby gas station and stock up on baking powder, then head back to my crummy little apartment.


Here you'll find a mixing table, which lets you combine different substances to make new ones. In my case, I chop the amphetamine up with the baking powder, doubling my stash. I'm not sure if the people I'm selling to will notice, but if they don't, I stand to make some tidy profit here. The mixture is 54.4% baking soda, 45.5% speed, so it's not a total ripoff... right?


I'm asked to give this new creation a name, and I think about that episode of The Wire where Stringer Bell rebrands his weak dope as 'WMD' ("It will mass destruct your ass") to fool people into thinking it's better than it is. In that spirit, I call mine Super Amphetamine. Then I hit ShadyComm, where a chap named Kamil Chappe says he's in the market for some speed.


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I find Mr. Chappe lurking in a kid's playground, but luckily there don't seem to be any children in this city. I approach and he says "Hi. You the dealer?" Now, I'm no expert, but this seems like a bad idea. What if I'm an undercover cop? Or just someone asking for directions? Lucky for him I'm neither.


I hand over a bag of Super Amphetamine, which he could also use to make some nice Irish soda bread if he fancied. He pays me and walks away. Sucker. But on my way back to my apartment, I spot a few cops in riot gear up ahead. I start to run, but it's too late. They stop me and search my backpack, confiscating my money and drugs. At least they left me the baking powder.


I don't think I'm cut out to be a drug kingpin. At least this game's version of one. Drug Dealer Simulator is ugly, dumb, and kinda clunky, but there's something strangely compelling about it. It's clear some effort has gone into its systems, which is more than I can say for a lot of games with simulator in the title. If you like the sound of it, you can buy it on Steam right now.

This guide is to help maximize your early game experience. These are tips that I have learned through playing and restarting many times over (I get bored with the end game content and enjoy the grind to build up).

Starting off we will go over for what to do from level 1-20, as that is the most crucial part of the game to get started. And cover level 20-25 (end game prompts at level 25 if you have completed all other prerequisites). Once you have finished the end game quest and started your own production, then the game is pretty open ended, so this guide will end with that.

Also, laying around, you will spot random loot spawns that will contain paint cans, water bottles, cash, bobby pins, medium backpacks, or a bugged 0g bag of drugs (just eat those or throw them in a garbage container to get rid of them). This is valuable free stuff early game, especially the paint cans. Keep your eyes peeled and you will spot them and make a mental note of the placement so you can take the time to look for them later if you happen to be running by them in the future.

Always, always deal at night. You will not gain exposition for dealing at night and you get a XP bonus as well as get paid more. Use the daytime for mixing and general exploration to familiarize yourself with the layout of the map, as there are many routes that you as the player can take that the AI police dont.

As a sidenote, I would only choose to upgrade clients to dealers in areas that have safehouses. This will allow you to set a drop off point later once Sector C is unlocked, so you will no longer have to pickup the money each time.

As you can see in the screenshots, I was able to collect $26,500 worth by the time I unlocked the ability to launder money, which was many times more than the amount I was able to make through selling dope at that point. So familiarize yourself with the location of the containers and keep those in mind when thinking about your routes.

Speaking of laundering, Eddie will tell you to deposit money at the ATM. You will be prompted with the ability to launder money once you have deposited $2,500 total. My recommendation is to deposit up to $2,450 and then wait until you get a decent amount of cash. I waited until I had about $6,000 cash. Once you are ready, then deposit the final amount and you will get a phone call from Eddie.

Once you have unlocked laundering, be sure to use your initial funds to buy a property and outfit with the furniture you will need to make it your new home. The starter home is only good for the very beginning.

After you are satisfied with your new home and its furnishings, upgrade your laundering to level 7. At level 7, your laundering rate increases to 60%. This is the most cost efficient upgrade. Getting to 65% by comparison only pays for itself once you are far into the end game.

This is for the next stage, once you can buy a mortar and pestle from the old lady at the market, but before you unlock the pharmacy. You can just split everything in half if you wish to do a lower quantity.

Once you have reached level 17, you will get a phone call from Eddie talking about a local gang. They purchase mass marijuana for very cheap, which is a good option if you just want to grow 50 plants outside. They also sell LSD (not very good to sell by itself, but a decent mixer), Mushrooms (worth selling as you buy for $5 can sell for about $15 once you have the rep and skill to raise the price), DMT (again, not worth selling but good for mixing). Unlocking this gang is a prerequisite to starting the End Game content.

The second phase of the quest, after speaking with them is to collect letters. They will be in Sector B. You will have to look for candles and nearby there will be an object that is an openable container that will contain the letter. From memory, although probably not all the locations:

After finding the letters(3), you will be given the next task of putting a flash drive into a laptop and retrieving a binder at the police station in Kennel. This is very easy. Just go there at night and unlock the door with a bobby pin and do the tasks.

DO NOT complete this final step. Go ahead and head back to your original home that you no longer use, and throw the flash drive and binder into the storage. Save it for later. If you complete the quest and unlock the gang, then you will have no control over when the End Game content starts.

At level 20, you will receive a phone call from Eddie inviting you to either La Ballenia or Keiji based on your exposition. A low exposition will result in La Ballenia; a high exposition will result in Keiji.

Upon receiving the phone call from Eddie to meet La Ballenia, you will be in a semi-God mode where cops will not stop you for anything. However, you will not receive any additional orders until the encounter has finished. Therefore, I would highly recommend making sure you have a full set of orders before accepting the phone call once you hit level 20.

There is another furniture store unlocked here. It sells safes, which you will need. Be sure to put a safe in a safehouse within each area you have a dealer present. Then choose the option for it to be a drop off point. From here on out, dealers in the area will automatically drop the money in the safe so it saves you having to pick it up individually.

This is the final section of the guide; after this, the game is pretty straightforward. As this is a main part of the game, I will try to walk through the main points and prepare you without giving too much away, so I will try to be vague while providing tips you will need. 152ee80cbc

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