So, somebody did something but it can’t be proven. Or maybe they went to trial but were found “not guilty.” They are relieved but does that mean that they are really not guilty? They are not guilty in the legal sense, but they may be guilty in the ethical/moral sense. In other words, maybe they really did it, but it just wasn’t proven. In this essay, the words ethical and moral are used together: morals usually refer to internal standards like your conscience and ethics usually refer to external standards such as a code of ethics.
Legal and moral/ethical judgments are not always the same. A legal duty is a duty to follow the law or a legal obligation one has undertaken. A moral/ethical duty is a duty to do what’s right and avoid what’s wrong. They generally coincide, but not always.
Many people feel relieved that they have been found not guilty, especially if they did it and are in fact guilty. This is understandable because a written record of some illegal act can follow you throughout life. Without a legal conviction, people can truthfully say, I’m “not guilty.” But again, what if they did it? Well, then they still have moral/ethical guilt.
One can identify many actions that are legal but yet unethical or immoral. These, depending on circumstances, could include cheating on your wife, refusing to repay a friendly loan, refusing to make amends after you damage someone, cheating on an exam, hitting and running, breaking some agreement without warning or justification, failing to call 911 to report an accident or crime, or failing to warn someone of an upcoming crime. There are many examples.
The drive to cover up guilt, and the urgent need to be hidden and NOT found out, can be powerful. It can even lead to more crimes or immoral and unethical actions. Some people think it is clever, and they feel smug and even laugh that nothing can be proven. That’s sad. Even institutions, such as churches, universities, and governments, who are dedicated to high standards can hide behind the legal requirement of proving guilt in the courts. Even if there is private knowledge of guilt, legal action or a simple declaration of guilt can be prevented by hiding the facts.
So, what do you do if you did something bad but it can’t be proven? You are legally “not guilty,” but yet you did wrong and in reality are morally and ethically guilty. Well, what you do depends on how you feel about being moral or ethical.
1. Do you forget it, hide it, or try to face it?
2. Many try to hide or even justify it by blaming the victim (What on earth did we do before we invented that practice of blaming the victim?).
3. Search for other half-baked defenses like, “They did it so why shouldn’t I?” This is ridiculous and the logical extension of this is a lawless society. Also, does it mean that someone can damage you and not care?
4. All too often, we throw up our hands because we can’t “prove” guilt. We say, “Nothing can be done.” But is that true? No, it’s not.
5. If we face it, which is the recommended option, there are several possibilities. You can apologize and make amends. Simply apologizing, making a declaration of guilt, can be restorative and relieve tensions. Use the feelings of guilt as motivation to fuel a drive to a solution.
6. Amends can be many things but should match the degree of damage. More damage, more amends.
7. If you are afraid that you will be found out and prosecuted, and there may be a good reason for that, amends can be made anonymously and/or privately.
As bystanders, we should support and soothe the victims of perpetrators who weren’t or can’t be found legally guilty. Also, let the immoral/unethical ones know that you don’t approve. These are steps toward a better community, especially if you are a member of or represent an institution or group that has high moral and ethical standards.
In the end, would you rather be not guilty because of luck or lack of proof, or would you rather be moral and ethical. Obviously, go for moral and ethical. That makes you a better human being - if you care. Should we do t-shirts that say, “I’m not guilty AND I’m moral and ethical”?
Related topics such as people’s motivations, grey areas, etc. may be covered in subsequent essays.