Growing up, I had no real understanding of what coaching was—especially in a professional sense. Yet, looking back, I realize I was already coaching in small ways, often with friends and family. Conversations where I listened, asked questions, and helped others explore their thoughts felt natural. Sometimes, I enjoyed them, finding fulfillment in helping a friend gain clarity or confidence. Other times, it was draining, especially when I had no useful advice to offer or when a friend had already tried what I suggested.

At the time, I didn’t distinguish between mentoring and coaching. I gave advice, which was more in line with mentorship, but I also asked questions that pushed deeper—questions that led friends to uncover their why, their passions, their emerging sense of identity. Not bad for an untrained, inexperienced “coach.”

The Leadership Lessons That Shaped Me

Fast forward to my early career, where I quickly found myself in leadership positions. My responsibilities spanned training, operational execution, and—more importantly—professional development. I saw firsthand how people approached career progression: either advancing upward or facing stagnation. Promotions became a checkbox exercise rather than a pursuit of genuine growth.

Early in my career, I fell into that same pattern—chasing advancement rather than true development. But I had a pivotal realization: I encountered leaders who had moved up but lacked the technical and professional competence to be truly effective. In some cases, their shortcomings led to dangerous situations. That wake-up call reshaped my priorities.

I decided I wouldn't chase promotions for their own sake—I would commit to deep, meaningful growth. I measured success by impact, development, and the ability to serve those I led.

A Leadership Gap That Coaching Could Have Filled

One interaction stands out—a teammate I struggled to connect with. He wanted to promote, and I worked to uncover why. I asked questions, but none yielded clarity. I failed to reach an understanding of what was driving him.

Reflecting on that experience now—with a deeper understanding of coaching—I see where I fell short. I lacked the presence, trust-building, and powerful questioning techniques that coaching provides. Without those skills, I couldn’t help my teammate explore the vulnerable aspects of his motivations or aspirations.

At the time, I thought I was a well-developed leader. Now, I realize coaching was the missing tool in my leadership arsenal.

Looking Ahead

Gaining and honing coaching expertise has transformed the way I approach leadership. It’s no longer just about guiding my own journey—it’s about truly empowering others. As I step into coaching more intentionally, I look forward to engaging with leaders who are on their own paths of growth and development.

Are you using coaching in your leadership journey? What leadership tools have made the biggest impact for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Stay true.