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Dr. Alfred Habel (Kenosha, Wi) treats Brent Allen Caputo for Narcolepsy and Cataplexy
https://narcolepsynetwork.org/
https://m.facebook.com/groups/narcolepsynetwork/
Written By: Brent Allen Caputo
October 12th 2008
As a Child I remember being told not to cry.
As I got my thumb stabbed by my siblings who were ruining a box that I needed I was slapped in the face and told to shut up and stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.
As a teen I was told by friends crying was for wimps.
During my adolescent years I was told to stuff it in and grow up and that crying is for kids.
As I got married I was told cry only to show your happy.
When my daughter was born I was told not to cry because it would show that you are unhappy.
After my son was born it was brought to my attention that if I cried my son would sense weakness in a male role model.
When I had gotten a divorce I hired a women attorney because they would understand emotions but at the end of the run I was told I didn’t show enough feeling.
Soon after I was diagnosed with this disease (Narcolepsy) which was one of the factors for the divorce taking off in the first place I wasn't able to cry.
I am afraid to cry because I am supposed to be strong and be a man in this world.
As an Adult with a Disease I was born with and being kicked in the face I was called lazy and I was unable to even try to think of crying.
But looking back at all I have held inside and living each day without my kids nearby and missing out on a lot of their growing up I only have one question for you.
With your permission SOCIETY, When can I cry/ SOCIETY: I'm 35 can I cry now?
When Can I Cry/Can I Cry Now? Written By: Brent Allen Caputo October 12th 2008
Written by: Brent Allen Caputo
Gateway Tech. College Student
September 27th 2004
A man would call on the phone, he peeked interest of siblings when his name was mentioned. We'd wait for him by the front window, occasionally jumping around like a bunch of animals until he pulled up. A man most respected the more we heard his name. I was a mere 5 years old at this time. I am able to go to his house like my siblings had done many times before. I'd wait and watch for the car to pull up looking at my brothers and sister with their backpacks full. Just to think that I can go on a trip to visit the home of this amazing man. much too little to know exactly where of course, but the idea of going with this man we know of as uncle, at this age, was all that mattered.
I was around 9 years old before I slowly realized that the dream of going to my Uncle's home had lost it's prestige. As I looked at everyone's back packs, each one was being thrown in the trunk of the car. I named off who owned what, this one goes to my brother, this one goes to my sister, this one goes to my other brother, but where is mine? I had no packed bags. It took me a moment or two, but when I asked to find my bags I heard "Next Time." You will be going next time instead of your brothers. When I heard this I just ran to my room with tears. Lying on my bed wondering what I had done wrong, was I not good enough, why was I not able to go?
I pondered those very same questions, as I had done many times before, until the next time he would call and say he is sending a plane ticket this time and to get everything ready, and then to my amazement, what do I see on the day of departure? I see my older brother grab his back pack as he said "good-bye" I am going to California for the summer. I was about 12 by this time. I was the one that was supposed to go. Once more, this was not true.
Aftercountless tries to figure out what is this all about, I had to face the fact that I am not "ever" going to go. What was it about me that he, the amazing Uncle liked about everyone else, not me? what was it that this man had that powerd the emotions of me to want to fall for the same trick, was it on purpose? Does he know he's doing this? Why can't he just tell me to my face that he had no intentions of ever bringing me?
I am now a father of two beautiful children 8 and 4 years of age. Everyday I try to give them time and not to say things like I'll be there for sure or I'll pick you up on this dat at this time. I leave things with options for them to choose as a group decision. Acknowledging their individual thoughts count, too. I am not perfect, when it comes to this parenting issue. What people tend to forget is that when you make the attempt to go out of your way to "single out" a child of more than one, you are doing more damage to them whether you see it or not.
After the thoughts that played in my head for over 30 years. I am still dealing with the selectiveness he still shows. He still comes at the right time, talks to just the right people, and leaves at the right time, and doesn't seem to acknowledge me in just the right ways. Nothing has changed. He is my Uncle.
A man of business knowledge, stern in his belief's, yet will give you the shirt off his back, but only if he had chosen to. He knows what he wants in life; in my case "not" want in his life.
What was this power that makes me, to this day, still get excited to find out he is on his way to my parent's home, yet to get shut down like yesterdays news. Who is this man that has so much power over me? Who is he? He is my Uncle, He is "The Man that NEVER disappoints".
~Brent A. Caputo September 27th 2004 Gateway Tech. College student