Raised By My Village: Learning Who I Am Through The Sacrifice Of Others

TO KNOW ME IS TO KNOW MY ORIGIN STORY

It is a miracle that I'm even here. Three days after my birth, my mom took me back to the hospital because I sounded like I had a bad cold. Three months later, I was having emergency surgery because I had an underdeveloped larynx that was impeding my breathing. My mom told me that she knew something was wrong with me, but the doctors kept telling her it was one thing or another. She had to do her research, advocate for me, and push the doctors because I was her blessing and worth the fight, she would tell me. This story taught me that I was important and should never give up on something or someone important to me.

I LEARNED THAT OTHERS HAVE ALREADY SACRIFICED FOR MY BENEFIT

I am a proud son of a single black mother. My father was never really present in my life. He is a product of his bad choices and never supported my upbringing. On the other hand, my mother sacrificed everything for me to experience all the things that other kids my age were able to. There has always been a cost to her sacrifice, as evidenced by the long hours she works, her inability to save any money for me to attend college, the stress and pressure, all that comes from one person doing the job of two parents, but she never complained. What she did was go into our community, our village, to ask for support so I could get into college and have a chance at success.  

An old African proverb states, 'It takes a village to raise a child,' which means it takes many people to provide a healthy environment where kids like me are safe to grow and realize their hopes and dreams. Our elders share their love, lessons, regrets, and sacrifices in this village. I have significantly benefited from this environment. 

Whether it was my aunt Darlene taking me to school for years so my mom could make it to work on time. Or my other aunt, Sanya, who picked me up so my mom could work additional hours so we would have enough money to cover our bills. 

Whether it was our family friend, Daryl, being an example of how black men love their families allowed me to accurately understand how a real man cares for the people he loves. He is an example I can emulate since I didn't get it from my birth father.

Whether it was from the CEO of my high school, Elite Public Schools, Dr. Ramona Bishop, coming back into the community and opening a school to give kids like myself an opportunity to thrive, or Ms. Henry, my inspirational English teacher. Or Ms. Arnika Nichols, my Willie B. Adkins Coordinator, who is helping kids get into college so that they have the same access to a successful life as others in more affluent environments. If it weren't for the gift of time from these women, I would not have the tools and resources available to attend college.

This list of people is just a small sample size of those who have poured into my life.

THE PRIDE OF THE VILLAGE

If we go back to the spirit of the old African proverb, it points me to push forward the lessons in the elders' sacrifices so that I would have a better future than those that came before me. I am taking advantage of those opportunities. 

While I live in Vallejo, California, a city that is the cross between living in a 'Boys in the Hood' movie and 'The Cosby Show,' I am exposed to opportunities that allow me to choose a different path. I plan to attend college in the Fall of 2024 and study Business Marketing. I want to return to my community and be a part of that village that other black and brown young men and women need. While I faced many financial challenges in my quest to attend and complete college, my drive, their sacrifice, and my need to give back pushes me forward.