Lament

I made a song called Lament. Out of all the music I have created, this one is the truest reflection of myself because it carries my grief. I made it while mourning someone I dearly loved, someone I was with for years, someone who is now gone. This was not just another song to release. This was me, laid bare, every note played through pain, through sorrow, through the weight of memories that I can never get back. 

It has no words, only melody. And yet the voice is there. It is sung by my guitar, my Cruella, which I arranged carefully to cry, to scream, and to carry the grief that I cannot speak aloud. Every sound is filled with mourning. It is sorrow disguised as music. I shaped it with the spirit of James Bond themes in mind, inspired by Billie Eilish’s No Time to Die and Adele’s Skyfall, yet the story behind it is mine alone. 

I remember when we were happy. The times I would visit her at her place, when we would go out and walk at night, the stars lighting up her eyes. I swear the light in her eyes was brighter than the sky above us. I remember the rain, and how she jumped and laughed in it, full of a joy I had never seen before. And I remember how I felt seeing it, like the world itself was alive through her. 

I remember the passion. How we laid together, how we sat under the trees, how we burned with warmth and intimacy. I cannot forget how it felt to be so close to her, so alive in those moments. I long for that feeling even now. I yearn for it. 

But I also question. Was it all true? For half of the time we were together, was it really love or was I just blinded by what I wanted to see? I remember seeing joy in her eyes, true happiness, yet it shattered me when she confessed that someone else made her feel things that I could not give. That betrayal tore through everything we built, everything I believed in. She destroyed it all with those words. 

And so I lament. I grieve, I cry, I scream. I see her in my dreams, and I hate it. I wake up with a heavy heart on the nights she appears, with sorrow I cannot shake off. Not every night, but enough to wound me again and again. 

I long for her voice, but I hate her for what she did. I ask myself endlessly if it was ever real. The passion, the laughter, the intimacy, the memories, were they true? Or was I loving a lie half of the time? The questions echo louder than any answer I will ever receive. 

This song is my lament. It is the cry of my grief and the confession of my pain. If there is one song I would recommend to my audience, if there is one song that truly carries the weight of who I am and what I feel, it is this one. This is Lament.