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"Why we do it" Pastor Jai Min Lee
When I was in college, the sitcom Friends gained enormous global popularity. I loved it so much that I watched it over and over, often using the excuse that I needed to improve my English. One day, as I was watching, I noticed something intriguing. If you pay attention, you'll see that Friends has redefined the concept of family. In this show, family isn’t represented by the traditional idea of parents and children; rather, it is the group of friends themselves. In its Thanksgiving episodes, a holiday typically spent with family, it is actually friends who come together for dinner.
There was another thing that was peculiar to me. Occasionally, one of the friends' parents makes an appearance in an episode. When this happens, the group of friends, who had been getting along well, suddenly finds themselves in distress. It was clear that the parents were the source of the problems, and they were implicitly depicted as the antagonists to this friend-family. This happens in every episode—whenever a parent shows up, the once-harmonious friend group is thrown into turmoil. One friend’s parent is habitually unfaithful, another’s mother is obsessively critical, and another was abandoned by their parents as a child. None of the parents are portrayed in a positive light. The friends themselves don't have significant issues; the only real problem they seem to face is their difficult parents.
After realizing this, I couldn’t just sit comfortably and keep watching. So I thought, 'I need to watch something else,' and changed the channel which aired “The Simpsons.” It was also hugely popular, especially among kids. But, I saw a similar theme on this show. The father in The Simpsons is portrayed as a incompetent fool. The mother is too busy to help the children. Strangely, the smartest person in the family is the second-grade daughter, Lisa. She’s also the one who solves all the family’s problems.
At this point, I started to feel a bit concerned. So, I browsed through the list of other shows and realized that there wasn't a single one where parents were depicted positively. What kind of message do you think our children will get from growing up watching these shows? Won’t they, whether consciously or unconsciously, come to believe that parents are troublesome, foolish, useless, and offer no real help in their lives?"
Around that time, the New York Times published an article titled 'Be Cautious About the Books Your Child Reads.' While most parents encourage their children to read, the article posed an important question: 'Do you know what books your children are actually reading?' It highlighted several best-selling books that kids were enjoying at the time. One book's plot goes like this: a child struggles with a problem involving friends and confides in her parents. Instead of listening, her parents yell at her and tell her to go to her room. Deeply hurt, the child runs away that night and starts living on the streets, where she meets various people and learns to solve her problems independently, ultimately maturing in the process. Wow! What a wonderful book! This is definitely the kind of book you would want to encourage your child to read, right? It was shocking to me.
Ephesians 2:2 reminds us that 'Satan, the mighty prince of the power of the air, leads people down the path of disobedience.' For the past 30 years, our children have been exposed to Satan's deceptions through the media, either consciously or unconsciously. And, during the last 30 years, we have witnessed the disintegration of the family and how it has emerged as a significant issue in society.
A 2009 study examining adolescents from various countries revealed that South Korean teenagers are the least likely to seek advice from their parents. A subsequent 2014 study found that only 3% of teens are willing to consult their fathers when faced with problems. In comparison, 51% indicated they would turn to friends or peers for support, while 16% said they would rather solve their issues by themselves. This indicates that South Korean teens tend to trust their friends more than their parents. It is saddening that there are significantly more young people seeking guidance on YouTube and resolving their problems on their own rather than consulting with their parents.
A month ago, The New Yorker published an article noting that 27% of Americans over the age of 18 were estranged from a family member in 2020. The article concluded that it is acceptable to sever ties with your parents without feeling guilty if they do not support your lifestyle. What on earth is happening to us? How can this be acceptable?
A parent in California was cleaning out their child's backpack when they discovered an exam paper with the name of a girl they didn't recognize. At first, they wondered if their son had mistakenly taken someone else's paper, but then they realized that the girl’s name was on other items as well. They got really concerned and called the school, but they were told that due to legal restrictions, they couldn't provide any information.
When the son arrived home, they asked him, 'Who is this girl? And, why do you have her things?' Their son’s response was shocking. He said he decided not to be a boy. He had informed the school of his decision, and the counselor has helped him to make the change. He told them that he is now Amy at school instead of David. The parents were shocked to realize they had been completely unaware of the situation, with no one having informed them about what was happening.
This is the kind of world we live in now–a world where division between parents and children is a norm. This potentially has serious problems.
In 1 Kings 12, we find the story of Rehoboam who became king after the death of King Solomon. After Solomon's death, representatives from the twelve tribes of Israel came to meet him. They had one request: 'Your father, King Solomon, imposed heavy taxes and harsh labor on us. If you lighten the taxes and reduce the burden of labor, we will wholeheartedly serve you as our king.'
Rehoboam tells them to come back in a few days and sends them away. He then consults with the elders who had served his father, King Solomon. These elders were people who shared in Solomon's wisdom and values. They wisely advised him, saying, 'If you show them a little kindness, all of Israel will serve you faithfully.' However, this advice did not please Rehoboam.
So, he sends the elders away and calls for his friends. What do you think these young men said? They told him, 'How long are you going to live in your father’s shadow? It’s time to show them that the world has changed. Now, you're the king!' This advice sounded good to Rehoboam. He liked it.
So, Rehoboam called the representatives of the twelve tribes of Israel and threatened them, saying, 'If my father disciplined you with whips, I will discipline you with scorpions. Don’t mess with me!' and drove them away. What happened then? As you know, from that day, Israel was divided into two nations—northern Israel and southern Judah. Over time, they grew weaker and eventually lost their nation altogether.
It is important to understand one thing: the division of Israel was not caused by Rehoboam's foolish response. The division had already existed long before that. The splitting of Israel into two nations was simply the outcome of this long-standing division. The younger Rehoboam, the younger generation of that time, rejected and failed to respect the wisdom and values of their parents. As a result, the nation was already fractured from within. This eventually led to Israel’s downfall and it began a path of decline and destruction.
The future of a generation that does not respect the values and faith of their parents is bleak. We can see this through Rehoboam’s story. Our society today no longer respects the values held by parents, nor does it place much importance on the faith that parents held. You have been informed that, currently, 90% of our children who grew up in the church are leaving the church as they transition to college. This isn’t happening by chance. No. There is a force behind it—Satan is working behind the scenes, breaking down and dividing our families, accelerating this trend, and leading our children to abandon their faith at an alarming rate.
This is why ministries like GODKIZ are more important than ever. Our motto is 'Let’s Raise the Children Together.' Our goal is to share the importance of family and to convey that the role of parents is crucial for children to grow in faith. Parents are not just providers of basic physiological needs such as nutrition, clothing, and shelter. It is also their duty to teach and guide their children so that they can grow in the faith in Jesus.
So what should we do? We must diligently teach them in faith and pray for our children.
There were two great kings in Israel. One was David. Another was Solomon. According to the Bible, before David died, he called his son, Solomon, to instruct and advise him. In 1 Chronicles 28:9, David says, "And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever." Solomon, as instructed by his father David, served God with all his heart, and his reign was blessed with prosperity. However, the Bible does not mention any instance where Solomon called his son, Rehoboam, to teach or advise him to serve the Lord. The Bible tells us that Rehoboam became blinded by power, led the kingdom to ruin, and turned away from the ways of the Lord.
What is the difference between Solomon and Rehoboam? Solomon had the guidance of a great, faithful father. But Rehoboam lacked the spiritual direction from his parents. There were excellent priests who led worship in the temple every morning and evening for Rehoboam, yet Rehoboam still became a king who turned away from the laws of the Lord. This shows us how vital the role of parents is. If parents earnestly teach and pray for their children to grow in faith, our children, too, will seek God wholeheartedly. Let’s raise them together. May God's blessings be upon all our children through their parents.
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