Attachment theory provides a deep understanding of how early relationships shape our emotional patterns, behaviors, and connections in adulthood. Whether you want to improve your romantic relationships, heal past wounds, or gain insight into human behavior, the following 13 books on attachment theory offer valuable knowledge and practical strategies.The article "13 Best Books on Attachment Styles" from BecomingTheSelf.com presents a curated list of insightful Attachment Theory Book exploring attachment theory. Each Attachment Styles Book recommendation includes a brief overview and reasons to read.
Why Read Books on Attachment Theory?
Books on attachment theory help individuals:
Understand their emotional needs and relationship patterns.
Improve communication and emotional intelligence.
Heal past traumas that affect attachment styles.
Build stronger, more secure relationships.
Here are the 13 best books on attachment theory for personal growth.
1. Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
One of the most well-known books on attachment theory, Attached explains the science behind attachment styles and how they affect romantic relationships.
Key Takeaways:
Identifies the three main attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant).
Offers practical advice for navigating relationships based on your style.
Easy-to-understand and engaging for beginners.
2. The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller
This book delves into how past trauma influences attachment and provides healing techniques. It’s a great read for those looking to work on emotional wounds.
Key Takeaways:
Explores how childhood experiences shape attachment.
Provides tools to move from insecure to secure attachment.
Focuses on healing trauma and building emotional resilience.
3. Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin
Tatkin explores how neuroscience and attachment science can help couples create secure, loving relationships.
Key Takeaways:
Explains how brain wiring affects relationships.
Provides strategies for couples to develop emotional safety.
Emphasizes the importance of secure attachment in long-term relationships.
4. The Attachment Effect by Peter Lovenheim
This book examines attachment styles beyond romantic relationships, including friendships, work dynamics, and parenting.
Key Takeaways:
Uses real-life stories and research.
Explores how attachment affects different aspects of life.
Helps readers identify their attachment patterns.
5. Polysecure by Jessica Fern
If you’re interested in how attachment styles apply to non-monogamous relationships, Polysecure is a must-read.
Key Takeaways:
Explains attachment theory in the context of polyamory.
Helps readers cultivate emotional security in non-traditional relationships.
Addresses the challenges of balancing multiple attachments.
6. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Dr. Sue Johnson introduces Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a proven method for improving emotional bonds in relationships.
Key Takeaways:
Offers exercises to strengthen relationships.
Based on decades of research in couples therapy.
Ideal for those struggling with relationship conflicts.
7. The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen
This interactive workbook provides exercises to help readers understand and change their attachment patterns.
Key Takeaways:
A hands-on approach with self-assessment quizzes.
Ideal for individuals and couples seeking self-improvement.
Guides readers toward healthier attachment behaviors.
8. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
While not exclusively about attachment theory, this book explains how trauma affects the brain, body, and emotional connections.
Key Takeaways:
Explores the link between trauma and attachment issues.
Provides scientific insights into emotional healing.
Essential reading for those with disorganized attachment styles.
9. The General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini & Richard Lannon
This book blends neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy to explain how human emotions and attachments develop.
Key Takeaways:
Explores the biology of love and emotional bonds.
Discusses how early experiences shape adult relationships.
Provides scientific and philosophical insights into attachment.
10. Loving Like You Mean It by Ron Frederick
This book focuses on emotional intelligence and vulnerability as key factors in developing secure attachment.
Key Takeaways:
Helps readers become more emotionally open.
Teaches how to move from insecure to secure attachment.
Focuses on overcoming emotional barriers in relationships.
11. How We Love by Milan & Kay Yerkovich
The authors explain how childhood experiences influence adult romantic relationships and offer exercises to break negative patterns.
Key Takeaways:
Identifies love styles and their origins.
Offers step-by-step exercises for relationship improvement.
Great for individuals looking to understand their emotional triggers.
12. Avoidant by Jeb Kinnison
This book provides an in-depth analysis of avoidant attachment and how it affects romantic relationships.
Key Takeaways:
Explores why avoidant individuals struggle with intimacy.
Offers practical strategies for developing emotional closeness.
Ideal for those who have difficulty with vulnerability in relationships.
13. Secure Love by Julie Menanno
A therapist’s guide to moving from insecure to secure attachment, this book provides insights on emotional regulation and relationship skills.
Key Takeaways:
Explains how to create secure, fulfilling relationships.
Provides actionable strategies for emotional growth.
Ideal for those looking to develop secure attachment patterns.
Final Thoughts
Attachment theory is a powerful framework for understanding emotions, relationships, and personal growth. These 13 books offer valuable insights into how attachment styles develop, how they affect our interactions, and how we can heal to build stronger, healthier connections. Whether you're new to attachment theory or looking for advanced knowledge, these books will guide you on your journey toward emotional security and relationship fulfillment.