street lights
over my head
lighting
the toughts left unsaid
spiral
ration over trown
all seem
to pass by unknown
i've dissapointed you today
my dreams have slipped me far away
is it really okay for me to stay
raise your glass
as i pass on by
laughter
when i can't cry
spirals
over my head now
true colors
left unsaid now
unsaid now
i've dissapointed you today
my dreams have slipped me far away
is it really okay for me to stay
i've dissapointed you today
my dreams have slipped me far away
is it really okay for me to stay
and i spiral
(spiral)
and i spiral
(spiral)
and i spiral
(spiral)
and i spiral
(spiral)
and i spiral
(spiral)
and i spiral
(spiral)
(what, they said what)
ranting on for fucking hours
this is gonna taste so sour
round and round and round the clock
just to say i fucking suck (SUCK)
figured out the news today
bitches come and go they say
so get your punk-ass out the door
so i can say you're royaly fucked (FUCKED)
go back to your filthy slum
either way it's full of scum
no one bats an eye at you
fuck the truth, rebel youth (REBEL YOUTH)
never ever ones again
done with this C.E.O. thing
losing quarters, losing me
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
AAAAAH
AAAAAH
AAAAAH
AAAAAH
fake inside
truths alined
you can't hide
but i was blind
fake inside
truths alined
you can't hide
but i was blind
no rest
working pest
see my face
destroy the base
busted out some labor hours
who are you to say he sucks
bitch please you're fucking drunk
i would keep my mouth shut (SHUT)
get the fucking hint you hoe
be the bitch that comes and goes
time will come, we both know
don't forget i told you so (SO)
you're (YOU'RE) not wanted here
just (JUST) fucking dissapear
you're (YOU'RE) full of pointless shit
stop spiking his ears bitch (BITCH)
you made your decision clear
he's worth more then your piss beer
he is not a fucking slave
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
AAAAAH
AAAAAH
AAAAAH
AAAAAH
fake inside
truths alined
you can't hide
but i was blind
fake inside
truths alined
you can't hide
but i was blind
no rest
working pest
see my face
destroy the base
for haunted minds trapped by capitalistic signs
broken down for doing fine
remember never be too kind
grab your trouble by the neck
drown it in their own regret
and if you're feeling down sometimes
release your rage like i did mine
away
drift me away with the flow
away
drift me away from this mess i am in
i'm sorry for drinking
(i will make you feel disposed)
what was i thinking
(i will make you lose controll)
one more and i'll be fine
(the bottle will fill up your soul)
i dont wanna lose my mind
(what is it in there you'll find)
i'm sorry for drinking
(i will make you feel disposed)
what was i thinking
(i will make you lose controll)
one more and i'll be fine
(the bottle will fill up your soul)
i dont wanna lose my mind
(what is it in there you'll find)
a way
to get away from this mess i am in
a way
to feel good again
mountain tears feed the sea
(consume me)
waterfalls wash me clean
(take it all away)
dive in the deep
(sorrow, pain and grief)
regrets for next week
(heil to the thief)
mountain tears feed the sea
(consume me)
waterfalls wash me clean
(take it all away)
dive in the deep
(sorrow, pain and grief)
regrets for next week
(heil to the thief)
a way
to get away from this mess i am in
a way
to feel good again
day by day
drink it away
i cannot take it
anymore
i puked my gut out in a ditch
the shards gave me a nasty stitch
get the fuck out my face and stay away
all I did
swept away
i'm alive
waste of time
nothing matters
when you're sick
and bruised
no one sees the abuse
you felt
your core
rip
and spill
all on the floor
where you lived
and loved
what a time
i'm alive
everything has gone to waste
guts feel like they turned to paste
my friends say it will be okay
easy to say in sun of may
you don't bleed like a rund, a prey
with wounds forcing you to stay
ration is trown all overboard
when red creeps in from every court
stay still
and quiet
move and create a fire
spreading onto your own land
dog biting the owners hand
you had your time to thrive
move with the destructive hive
i'm alive, i'm a...
i'm alive
i'm alive
i'm alive
waste of time
i'm alive
i'm alive
i'm alive
waste of time
reality is killing me (i'm alive)
it is eating me alive (i'm alive)
can it for once stop beating me (i'm alive)
i am sick of wanting to die (waste of time)
am what i swore i would never be (i'm alive)
scared of the bloody mirror (i'm alive)
it has to end now can't you see (i'm alive)
(you're breaking my heart)
packs bagged
door wide
you're leaving me
feelings not what you used to see
need time
need space
see déja-vu
i can not do this without you
(you're breaking my heart)
packs bagged
door wide
you're leaving me
feelings not what you used to see
need time
need space
see déja-vu
i can not do this without you
floating around with the snowflakes
now it's too late
yeah it's too late for me
crashing down like an earthquake
make the ground shake
yeah it's too late for me
runny nose
freezing cold
and my muscles tensed up
kinda hurts
sounds absurd
but we all like the rush
back outside
feel the high
i want more
let's hope tonight
i don't end up on the floor
floating around with the snowflakes
now it's too late
yeah it's too late for me
crashing down like an earthquake
make the ground shake
yeah it's too late for me
it is crumbling down down down
my money is running out out out
drugs make me feel wow wow wow
my time is running out out out
it is crumbling down down down
my money is running out out out
drugs make me feel wow wow wow
my time is running out out out (snowflake, snowflake)
woke up
bench, park
and i tought what the fuck
white covers my coat
head will explode
bout time i get up
pass the bar
memories far
but i know
i'm coming down with
columbian cold
floating around with the snowflakes
now it's too late
yeah it's too late for me
crashing down like an earthquake
make the ground shake
yeah it's too late for me
it is crumbling down down down
my money is running out out out
drugs make me feel wow wow wow
my time is running out out out
it is crumbling down down down
my money is running out out out
drugs make me feel wow wow wow
my time is running out out out (snowflake, snowflake)
A man of middle class lives a rather repetitive life, providing money for his family, work is fine but he dreams of being an artist for a living. One day as he finishes his shift as usual he gets called for a talk. As the conversation goes on he starts to understand that he is getting fired, leaving his mind racing.
After the conversation has ended the man leaves and walks home, his head flooding with thoughts and worries as life around him just keeps going on. He feels guilty and worthless, imidiatly starts looking for other ways to provide, to keep his family from living poor, non sit right for him. As his thoughts keep spiraling he sees his own dreams getting lost in the struggle he is going to face, feeling like he would never be able to reach his full potential and destiny.
The man comes back home and breaks the news. His family reacts shocked, angry, but not at him. They say what they did to him was unfair, I just. This reaction sparked the man with anger, his mind went from guilt to rage, the clouds in his head that were just spiraling in sadness are now blowing up like thunder, bashing his head with spikes of adrenalin and in his head he keeps angerly rambling about how fucked up his whole situation really is.
Waking up exhausted from his internal meltdown, the man had lost all his motivation and all the efforts he had to make to get his life back in order got set on hold. His mind could not stop tho. As he sat down feeling the spiral forming again he sank deeper than before, bathing in his own sorrow. He grabbed a beer to ease his nerves, one didn't do it, so he grabbed more, and more, and more, now nearly wasted and practically drowning in his thoughts of mixed sadness and anger he falls asleep. The next morning he woke up exhausted. Day after day it repeated, and as he finishes his last days on his job, beers became wine, wine became cocktails and cocktails became liqueur. His ones sadness, now depression, his anger, now his heartbeat.
After weeks of binge drinking, binge watching empty sitcoms and doom scrolling, in one of his rare sober moments, he starts to reflect, on what has happend to him, what he has become. Him losing his job wasn't just a push back, it was a rugpull. Everything he ones relied on stripped from underneath him in one fell swoop. The backlash of it being way harder than he could have ever imagined. He became what he had always sworn his wife he would never be, his kids unable to recognise the wreck of a man they ones called their father. His body, sleep deprived, poisoned with alcohol, junk food and cigarette smoke. His mind melted by mindless content. As he is reflecting he sees his family in the corner of his eye, standing by the door, luggage in hand.
Devastated by seeing his life crumble before him the man grasps to more than alcohol and wastes the majority of his last paycheck on a variety of drugs. Walking home from one of his black outs, he stops and looks at the snow around him, comparing it to the substances he has been using. Beautifull to look at yet causes nothing but pain.
As the light at end of the tunnel has been long gone, the cycle continued and the last of the man's hope disappeared, he takes his own life, leaving nothing but his final attempt at his dream on his desk labelled "pause."