Atharva

I received this journal from a young woman, Kalpana, who said it used to be her father's. She seemed hesitant to part with it, but ultimately felt that it was better for the kingdom to know the sacrifices of the brave soldiers. Reading entries like these make me regret the war entirely. How is it fair that we live on in happiness when so many sacrificed everything that day? It's too late. May Dharma forgive us.

-Lakshmana

Tula 11, 5141

Times are tough. Sugriva has been ousted from the Kingdom by his brother Vali, and no one really knows who to believe. I was in the throne room when Vali returned. He stormed in screaming curses at anyone that dared to stand in his path; his clothes and fur were matted with dried blood and you could see he hadn't eaten in weeks. He stopped shouting and began recounting his story. Besides the occasional gasp, there wasn't a single interruption. When he finished, the throne room erupted into chaos as soldiers and royalty began choosing sides for the inevitable confrontation. I'll admit, it does look suspicious that Sugriva trapped Vali in the cave without first confirming that he was dead. However, it isn't like Sugriva to backstab his brother for the throne. That is why I chose to leave with Sugriva for Rishyamukha. My family tried to join me but I could not risk taking them into this unknown land. I am not sure if Vali will punish them for my betrayal, but I couldn't live with myself if something happened in Rishyamukha. My sweet Kalpana, may Vishnu watch over your youth as I am not able to. I pray that the gods will send us someone or something to deliver us from this mess.

-Atharva

Tula 16, 5141

Our prayers have been answered! Sugriva returned to camp with great news; Hanuman has found two brothers, Rama and Lakshmana, who promise to aid our war effort against Vali! These two radiate power, and it's hard not to stare in awe at their presence! I have great hope for our future; I may once again see my lovely Kalpana. She should be turning 6 soon.

-Atharva

Danu 28, 5140

It is done. Rama and Lakshmana helped us overtake Vali and his army, and I have reunited with my family. They have been doing well; of course, it would have been much worse had Hanuman not been sneaking supplies into the city for the families. I thank the gods that I was able to return to them alive, as I know that many of my brethren fell before they saw liberation. Sugriva is seeing to the proper funeral rites, which is good. Still, I can't help but think that if he hadn't left Vali in the cave, this bloodshed could have been avoided.

-Atharva

Vrishabha 5, 5140

The soldiers all received a letter today. We will be fighting alongside Rama once more to save his wife from the demon lord Ravana. I'm eager to be in his presence again, but I fear that many of us will not return from this battle. Ravana and his rakshasas are the fiercest fighters in the land, and there will be no holding back from slaughtering us all. Sugriva knows this is a deadly mission; the letter carries a somber tone that hides his fear of loss. I too am scared. Leaving my family for a foreign land to face one of the world's greatest armies is not a pleasant idea, and the thought of losing them scares me even more. However, Rama is a righteous man and I know that we would not lead us into an impossible battle. I must trust that he will lead us to victory. Should I not return, I hope that my family knows how much I love them.

-Atharva

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Author's Note: When I initially started this storybook project, I was wanting to give a voice to the thousands that lost their lives for Rama and Ravana. It's ridiculously unfair how the soldiers are treated in the Ramayana; they're just cannon fodder for a greater good. Don't get me wrong; I understand that there are casualties in war and it is never pretty, but the cause of the war can seem a little silly. As well I recognize that the sole purpose for Vishnu incarnated as Rama is to destroy Ravana, but this doesn't make me forgive the fact that thousands died because Sita wouldn't ride back with Hanuman. This needless death is only compounded by Sugriva's mistakes, which I reference in the story as happening because he wouldn't wait for his brother. When I was thinking about Sugriva leaving his brother, I definitely thought that it was no accident. I tried to represent this in my week 5 story: Sugriva's Betrayal. The author's note in that blog post provides more of my thoughts on the matter.

The names were chosen fairly randomly, with Atharva meaning "knowledge" and Kalpana meaning "imagination". I originally only had a reference to his family but felt that adding the name of his daughter would add more authenticity to the journal. The lack of an official ending was important in this piece alongside Lakshmana's introduction; I needed the reader to know he did not make it back from the war.