For all your bacon needs

I know. I know why you came here. Why else. I know you can't resist it. If you can, you shouldn't be alive. You shouldn't actually exist if you can. Take a few seconds. Think about them. I know you want to. 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. I know. Your upset. Shh, it's okay. Don't be sad. Only dreams now, shh. Read this slowly. Shh. You can smell it. I know. It smells good. I know. Go to it. Find it. Rid your tears my friend. Your getting impatient. Yes, who wouldn't. Please forgive me. I didn't mean sentences 4 and 5. Thank you. Although, if you don't like it, why would you be on this website in the first place? A good question, for another time. For right now let's get to something more important, something you have been waiting for. Don't worry, I won't hurt you like others on the internet. I'm going to give, what I promised, something you want, bacon. Trust me. I know.