Later, when her mother kissed her goodnight, she explained how important it was for women to have close female friends, how a man could never understand you like a woman could. Love between men and women, although essential, she said, was much more difficult than friendship between women, like mountain climbing as opposed to skating smoothly on ice. Did Rose understand, her mother asked, and Rose nodded, knowing there was all the difference in the world between the way she felt about Billy Morris, who was a year ahead of her in school and rode on her bus, and the way she felt about her best friend Ellen. It was like the difference between long division, when you were never sure you had the answer right, versus adding up two and two to get always, perfectly, four.

5 have their wives, take all for granted. After this we walked down & had a bathe. Marvellous sands & enormous waves, but unfortunately unsafe to go in further than up to your wasit, the pull was so bad. In the evening we went to the cinema & saw a terrible old film called "The fighting 69" with James Cagney as a fellow private, Pat O'Brien as the padre - really terrible. Then to a cafe place, where a great, fat Russian woman, sang songs, very badly in Russian, Hebrew & Yiddish. I'm very sleepy, darling. I was up at 5-15 this morning, to be here for 7-30 - & I've had a wearing day, & am feeling a little bit dead. So I'm just oing to have a drink, read your last letter aain, & go to bed. Goodnight! angel darling. Love & kisses to you & Max - & all my loving kisses to you, sweetheart xxxx H. Tuesday - July 8th I hope you don't mind this serial letter method - but as I explained before, I do eventually achieve a letter by this means, where otherwise, I should be instalment may be very brief, as I have been very much involved, & am at it again after dinner. I spent the early part of the morning in arranging the details for that, when word came that the wife of one of my corporates had committed suicide, leaving a one month old baby behind - a really dreadful affair. It seems she had been a bad neurotic case for some time,

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My husband drifted from one bad crowd of associatesto another. At last he was arrested and convicted[63]of stealing and was sentenced to the penitentiary.The disgrace which this brought upon me wasso terrible that it overwhelmed me. I lost all respectfor everything and everybody. I removed from thesemi-respectable district into the more notorious andbetter advertised portion of the city, and became thelandlady of one of the most notorious resorts of theday. I made many friends among the class into whichthis life had thrown me. I developed into a woman ofbeauty. I had fine clothes and precious gems; moneycame easily and was spent with a lavish hand. StillI maintained a business presence of mind which gainedfor my house a reputation of good order. One of theinmates of my place was a beautiful blonde. Shewas proud and set herself up as being the most bewitchingwoman in Chicago. She had a dear friend,a very wealthy man, who called on her with greatregularity. One night, in a jest, he put his arm aroundme and remarked that he was tired of blondes, anyway.All the fury that God allowed one woman topossess, arose in that blonde when he said that. Sheswore and tore and raved like one possessed of demons.After that she and I quarreled often. I would nothave taken her lover. I did not like him, but I couldnot get her to understand. It all ended by her forcingher friend to take a magnificent house next door tomine. It was lavishly furnished and I soon had arival in business that made that quarter of Chicagomore famous than ever.

I was raised a Christian. I taught a Sunday-schoolclass from the time I was sixteen until I was justturning my eighteenth year. At this point in my lifemy parents changed their place of abode; the only regretI felt aside from my breaking up of a generalfriendship, was the fact that I was called upon to leavemy sweetheart.

The Fair and all its glories were viewed and absorbedby us. Then came the sad bitter end of all;we must give up all pleasures. I shall never forgetthe last few days of his stay. We sat up late intothe night, reviewing all our travels.

I dressed; I appeared; my face burned, my fingerstingled and I know my eyes stared. It was a beautifullyfurnished home, music, birds, flowers, gayety andmirth, answered the clink of the wine glasses, as longas the parlor was the scene of the festivities, butI knew that burning, scalding tears were the sequelsto all this as soon as the participants were allowed toretire to their rooms alone. The shudders which convulsedme were noticed by others of the house andmany a kind touch and look was given me. Fateseemed to be my Saviour that night, for it was nearlymidnight and for some reason none of the many malevisitors seemed inclined to cultivate my acquaintance.

What I suffered that night, only God knows. Ilaid there all night in my misery, freezing and burningby turns. It seemed to me my hair must be gray. Myidol was shattered, it lay in fragments at my feet, butalas! as with the shattered vase, round which the scentof the roses still clung, so did the virtues with which Ihad endowed this being continue to obtrude themselvesto the complete obliteration of the crime he had committedbefore my very eyes.

When they questioned him as to his whereabouts[213]on that night, he proved an alibi. He gave a detailedaccount of his doings every hour of that night and,while it did not redound to his credit, it saved himfrom the penitentiary, and nearly sent me there.

It seems that Horace never left the house thatnight, fearing, I suppose, that I might do myself someinjury. He saw Chauncey come in intoxicated, and[214]fearing he might do me bodily harm he ran in to warnme. It must have been his raised arm, silently motioningme to fly, which I, in my dazed condition, mistookfor Chauncey, and in fear threw up my arm for protection,then fainted. Chauncey staggered in and thesight of Horace there with me so angered him thathe picked up the first thing he could lay his handson, which chanced to be the paper knife, and in hisdrunken rage he killed him.

I laid on the floor all night, just where he hadthrown me. Morning came and brought with it moremisery. A special delivery letter was brought to me;it contained a draft for $5,000 to be deposited to mycredit in the bank, and a short note saying that he didnot wish to see me again. That my sin had found meout.

In about thirty days from that time my father wascalled to go to the country, some sixteen miles, to officiateat the funeral of an old member of his flock.The day was bitter cold; the wind howled, while thesnow went swirling and drifting everywhere. It wasnecessary for him to drive; he arrived home late thatnight, chilled and benumbed from the cold and exposure;in three days pneumonia had added poor papa toits long list of victims.

I spoke to her; she tried to sit up in bed, but fellback with a wild stare which told that it would requirebut little excitement to bring an end to all her suffering.[258]I went out and bought everything I could think of; Ican even now feel a tinge of happiness, as I think ofhow I ordered the best imported delicacies; I boughtcoal, a new lamp, and sent a doctor. That night, whenI arrived at my elaborately furnished apartments, I satin my satin house robe and slippers and as my maidbrushed my hair I compared my surroundings withthose I had visited earlier in the evening, and becamehappy. be457b7860

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