Rubia writes
Thank you for visiting my site. I write daily posts on living and working better. Click on the arrow to the right of the preview to read the post. Enjoy.
Goodbye for now
January 1st 2024
2023 goals crushed. Glory be to God. On to the next one. Big things in store.
I reached my goal. 365 posts in 365 days. Glory be to God.
I will now take some time to restrategise, polish and come back bigger and better. Thank you for your support.
See you soon.
My wish for you
December 31st 2023
I wish you a year full of foolishness, failure, imperfection and discomfort.
I wish you a 2024 full of foolishness, failure, imperfection and discomfort... Wait before you click away. Let me explain.
I wish that you will be foolish by going against the grain. Do things that others will label as stupid. Maybe someone told you that you are too young or too old to do something. People like you don't go that far, people with your background... If whatever goal you pursue will seem foolish to others, pursue it anyway.
Those who have been reading my work for a while know my view about failure. It is not something I came up with originally. Failure teaches you how to succeed. It teaches you what won't work, both inside you and in regard to the environment. Fail fast and fail forward because the more you fail, the closer you are to success.
Pure perfection may not be possible, but near perfection is. However, the obsession with perfection may lead you to stagnation and regression because the world will always be moving. Don't rush things but also don't overcook and delay them. Set strict and realistic deadlines and share whatever you have by the time that deadline reaches. The more imperfect work you intentionally put out, the better you will get at attaining excellence.
Finally, may discomfort keep you from settling for less than you know you can deliver. May you be pained by mediocrity, may you be irritated by stagnation, may you always seek to improve and do better while enjoying the journey in between.
About potential
December 30th 2023
Live out your potential.
Potential is nothing without practice. (Hogwarts Professor)
Practice in regards to action and repetition.
Responsibility
December 29th 2023
Taking responsibility makes life simpler.
What is easier? For everyone and everything in the world to adjust to you, or for you to adjust to the world.
The sooner you take responsibility for your life, the better your life will be.
Habit construction
December 28th 2023
Handling habits.
To build habits, build patterns. To break habits, identify and break patterns.
It's your choice
December 27th 2023
Choose your mindset.
Choose joy. Choose resilience. Irrespective of the circumstances.
"You can't wait until life isn't hard any more before you decide to be happy."-Jane Nightbirde
Emotional generosity
December 26th 2023
Respect, love and support.
Respect. Love and support. Try and give that to everyone. In the best way you can.
Your calling is calling
December 25th 2023
What's calling out to you?
What thing in society can't you stand? What obvious thing do you see in the world that isn't obvious to everyone else? What path or subject in life do you think everyone should go through or be interested in?
Your calling may lie in the answer of those questions.
Understanding others
December 24th 2023
You don't have people figured out.
Trying to understand others fully is futile. You can barely fully understand yourself. Think of all the things, experiences, emotions and circumstances that make you you. And still you can be a different person in a few months.
So just respect and be kind to everyone. Treat them with love. Be a blessing and a facilitator but don't think you have them figured out.
You are more than a victim
December 23rd 2023
You have more power than you think.
Thinking you are a victim is a disease. Take ownership of your failures and reality. Take ownership of your results.
The world has shown us that it is possible to rise above your background, illness or environment.
Don't surrender to your circumstances. Fight through them.
Whoever fault it is doesn't change the fact that you are personally suffering the consequences. Not them, you.
The sooner you take charge of your situation, the better for you.
Another benefit is that you can become a beacon of hope, a role model and an example for people to look up to with regard to your situation. It is easier for people to go through paths that other people have gone through before.
Manage your response to the things you can't control, then take charge of the things that you can.
Care
December 22nd 2023
Do care.
Care. Care about your life. Care about how you spend your life. Because pretending not to care is self-deception.
Make the decision to care, be aware of your emotions. Then manage them.
Momentum
December 21st 2023
Things build on each other.
The more you do, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you are able to do. Don't stay put, if you want to progress.
Change
December 20th 2023
Change is okay.
Remember, you are allowed to change. Don't stick to what isn't working and feel free to explore and take risks, with wisdom.
Scars
December 19th 2023
The results of scars.
Your scars either remind you of your pain and mistakes, or of your lessons and victories. Choose to remember the latter.
Value time
December 18th 2023
How to treat time.
I am blessed and privileged to serve in places where I get to, and I am required to listen to great speakers free of charge. Today I was part of three church services and the message I will share today is from one of those speakers. Unfortunately, I did not note their name down. The speaker talked about the value of spending time with your family, and he broke down the word into an acronym. Of course, I will add my own flair and emphasis to his message.
T-I-M-E. The "T" stands for treasure. Treasure moments. Treasure those times of laugher with friends and family. Treasure those unique experiences that you get to be a part of. Take time to reminisce and remember the beautiful moments you have experienced, and treat time as something precious, not to be wasted.
The "I" stands for invest. Think carefully and critically about how you spend your time. What will be the consequences of your actions? All your actions will have consequences and reactions. If you want a better future, invest in a good present.
The "M" stands for manage. Be organised. If you don't organise yourself, somebody else will organise you. Treat your time like money, have a plan on how to spend it and make sure to have an account of where it went, then make changes if needed.
Finally, the "E" stands for enjoy. Make your time bearable. Life won’t be easy and smooth. But it can be simple. Minimise unnecessary pain and conflict. Rest, take time to do what makes you and others feel better.
Shock and disappointment
December 17th 2023
Broaden your expectations.
Disappointment and shock happen in the space between expectation and reality.
However, to manage them, don't lower your expectations. Just broaden them to include different outcomes.
A divine guide for love
December 16th 2023
A way to love, from above.
Today's post is a little different. But I find the most effective posts are the ones that gravitate around my daily life.
Today I had the opportunity to witness a great demonstration of romantic love and I had prepared my own rendition of 1st Corinthians 13:1-8 to the couples that seek to have a God-centred successful relationships.
This isn't only meant for couples, but the version I have written is directed towards the individuals in that couple.
May both of you live your days by first choosing God and then choosing each other. Choose to be patient with each other, chose to be kind with each other, choose not to envy or to boast, choose not to be proud.
Choose to honour each other not to seek your own needs before the others', choose not to be angry, don't keep a record of wrongs, don't delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. Choose to protect each other, to trust each other, to always have hope and always persevere. Knowing that love never fails.
Give the most
December 15th 2023
Live fully.
To get the most out of every day. Try and give the most out of yourself.
It won't always be reciprocated but you will have less regrets on your sides of things.
You become what you do
December 14th 2023
Your actions determine your destination.
There are many ways to interpret the title above. I am not sure of its certainty or uncertainty, and I cannot claim to have enough wisdom to ensure that it is always true in every case.
But your actions determine your outcome. Your actions speak of who you are, and they show what you are. If you do nothing, you will end up becoming nothing. If you do something, you will end up becoming something.
The precision and methodology of how you do it will determine the distance and magnitude of the outcome. Common methods produce common results, so if you want uncommon results you have to have uncommon input, or common input done in an uncommon way.
This is more of a list of simple thoughts that emerged from seeing my psychiatrist today. I don't always have a coherent article or thought to deliver. Especially lately, but I will do my best to get to the end of the year as promised.
Then maybe I will take a break and relaunch myself if I will still be alive, by God's grace and in accordance with His will. May God help you do what you need to be in order to become whom He made you to be.
Do what you can
December 13th 2023
If that is your best, then it is enough.
Sometimes getting through the day is enough.
Stay alive
December 12th 2023
Stay here.
You don't always have to be okay. But, please, even if you don't know what to do, find a way to stay alive. May God grant you strength.
Hope of life and death
December 11th 2023
There is a hope that kills you and a hope that gives you life.
There is this phrase common around football fans "it is the hope that kills you." It is usually mentioned when a team has had a poor run of form and the fans convince themselves that things will get better despite their form.
When it comes to addictions to things like video games and gambling, there is an aspect of the dopamine fix that one gets when they win. But behind that dopamine fix it is the hope that you will win, the hope that you can do it. That is the hope that kills you, the hope that keeps you addicted.
Then there is the aspect of ambition. You have hope that you will reach your goal, you have hope that whatever you are doing will work. You have hope that you will achieve your dreams. You keep working, grinding as the kids say, you keep going because you have hope.
But in the end all this hope can be futile. Hoping in random fate and luck is futile. Even those who have incredible skill can't hope in themselves. Sports finals usually have two teams that have got there through luck and skill but only one of them wins.
The only hope worth having is hope in God. Because it isn't dependent on you, you are not in control and you don't need to have hope in the world systems. You don't have to have control. You put your full reliance and life in the hands of God who loves you and cares for you. The hope that will give you life, instead of killing you.
What do you have?
December 10th 2023
Work with what you have first.
Before you buy that book, attend that workshop or sign up for that course? What have you done with the knowledge you have?
Try hard
December 9th 2023
Life is about trying and hardship.
Majority of life is trying and hardship. So get good at making efficient and valuable efforts. Then get used to dealing with hardships. And you will be good at life.
You are alone... kinda
December 8th 2023
Nobody owes you anything.
There have been relationships, jobs, clients that I have thought would last for a long time only for them to die.
Nobody owes you anything. Reciprocation of your efforts or loyalty is not your right. People inherently care about themselves and are loyal to themselves and you can't force people to like you or be loyal to you.
I may be wrong but I am allowed to be wrong, aren't I?
Allow people to leave allow people to move on. Don't force yourself into other peoples lives.
Don't attach yourself to people. Attach yourself to God and you will have all you need. Allow people to come and go.
You will be replaced. You will be forgotten.
I am writing this partially because of pain, partially because of shock, but also because of maturity. I am growing up and I am learning how the world works. Shedding my naivety.
No matter how hard you work and no matter how great you become. Don't let other people's perception, opinions and actions or lack of actions stop you from living.
Live by God's standard. Not other people. Stop when you need to. Move when you need to.
Listen to other people, consider their input but don't give them control.
Keep going
December 7th 2023
Keep moving forward.
To those experiencing hard times. Go to God. Gather strength and keep going.
The duality of momentum (Part 2)
December 6th 2023
The more you do, the more you get.
I wrote the first part of this article on April 14th. And my recent post on laziness and discipline garnered some reactions that I feel need some exploration.
I claimed that both laziness and discipline require practice. In essence what I am saying is that your momentum affects your direction and you are more likely to keep going in the direction you have been pushing towards.
I then posted about sharing your first draft. Saying how you should get used to moving and acting before you are ready. And ironically the three people who responded to my post were not the people who were afraid to post, or people who had been held back. But the people two of them are the ones I had mentioned in the article, giving an example of how far they had come and how much they had done. The third person had also done a lot.
There is this bible verse that I have struggled to understand. "Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them." Matther 13:12. One thing I can now connect to this verse is the principle of momentum and compounding. The more you do, the higher your likelihood of failure but you also have a higher likelihood of success. it is those who do more that have the momentum to keep going and therefore have a higher chance of gaining more experience and success. Those who do nothing will gain nothing. So will you choose to increase your chances of success or wallow in nothingness.
Now
December 5th 2023
Live with urgency.
You don't know how long you will be alive. Do your best work tody. Don't delay.
Readiness
December 4th 2023
Prepare well.
Readiness is retrospective. You may never be 100% ready because you can't always predict the future. Prepare the best way you know how but get used to starting before you are ready.
Practice both ways
December 3rd 2023
Discipline and laziness are both habits.
Both laziness and discipline require practice. But once they become a habit, laziness is much harder to leave than discipline.
Share the draft
December 2nd 2023
You have this free opportunity in front of you. Will you take advantage of it?
I have a confession to make. And I might have made this before. I have so many posts that I am not sure whether I am repeating things or not. I am good at starting things but unfortunately I am not good at finishing.
I have many unfinished projects, instagram business that never launched, devotional series that I didn't finish, unfinished online accounts, unfinished courses...you get the point.
I am blessed with ideas and opportunities but I don't take advantage of most of them.
This year two of my friends gave me the priviledge of editing their books. And as a writer that has greatly challenged me. Especially since I have talked openly about my desire to write.
I also encountered a document called "The Cult of Done Manifesto" which highlights many things about the mindset of getting things done. One of the points is "Accept that everything is a draft."
Essentially nothing is really the finished deal, in this case finished is the ideal we have in our head. Expect imperfection and publish the draft.
I also attended a graduation party/book launch yesterday of a friend who has done so much in so little time. Starting a business, finishing three academic achievements and winning an award in 5 years. It sound much better and greater in detail.
But the point is that I am capable of doing so much more and letting go of the perfect draft mentality will help me publish and publicise things before I think they are ready.
I hope this post challenged you too to finish what you started and act out your ideas
You have access
December 1st 2023
You have this free opportunity in front of you. Will you take advantage of it?
Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Martin Luther, Mother Teresa, Obama, that CEO. That person you admire.
There are people that we look up to, we buy their books, watch their videos and we would love the opportunity to have a minute of their time to pick their brain.
But this post is to point to you someone who is more wise, more powerful, someone who has infinite wealth and infinite care towards you.
This is someone who you can access at anytime, anywhere without needing an appointment. I am talking about God.
You are actually doing a disservice to yourself if you are not making the most of your access to God. I am not saying that he is a genie whose role is to grant your wishes or receive your shopping list. But He is a loving father who loves His children and He is generous towards them.
He made you. He knows you and He loves you. He knows whats best for you before you need it and He has the ability to give it to you.
He is the only connection, plug, help and breakthrough you need. He has unlimited wealth and He doesn't get tired of you or keep a record of your mistakes.
Take full advantage of this opportunity. Believe in His son Jesus Christ. Seek Him and His righteousness.
And everything else, all your needs, all your next steps, your cares and your burdens will be taken care of. Don't let this opportunity of access pass you by.
Enjoy possibility
November 30th 2023
What's the best that could happen?
When taking a chance. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong. Enjoy the possibility of what could go right.
Power of focus
November 29th 2023
Focus will build you. Distraction will destroy you.
Focus is the foundation of personal progress. Distraction is at the core of self-destruction.
Self love
November 28th 2023
Be careful what you do.
Avoid doing things that will make you hate yourself.
Build
November 27th 2023
Work on something.
Life is more enjoyable and bearable if you are working on something. Rather than aimlessly floating by.
Outlast
November 26th 2023
Firm foundations.
Build on foundations that will outlast the storms.
Understanding God
November 25th 2023
What does God require?
God doesn't require our understanding. He requires our obedience.
God and you
November 24th 2023
God's relationship with you.
God sees you.
God knows you.
God loves you.
God is with you.
God is for you.
Your time has come
November 23rd 2023
You can’t wait for the perfect time. You create it. The time to act is now.
I am not a theologian even though I have been publicly breaking down scripture from the age of 14. So I will get some things wrong. But I believe the word of God is so great that you can keep getting new revelations from a single verse as they resonate with various parts of your life.
There is a time Jesus. The son of God is asked to help with a problem at a wedding and He tells His mother that His time has not yet come. But He later helps with the issue.
There are many ways to read into this but today I look at it from the angle of the human side of Jesus Christ.
I don't know about you but I am rarely fully ready for change or big endeavours in my life and I have seen that other people share the same fear, uncertainty and procrastination. We often feel like it is not yet time to take that step, start that project, do that big thing or make that change.
I have talked at length about why we shouldn't fear failure. It doesn't mean failure hurts less. I have failed at most of the things I have done and I believe I am still at the beginning of my journey.
I have quit, stopped and abandoned projects. But one thing I am realising is that you shouldn't let fear hold you back. You shouldn't let your background or history hold you back.
Have a bias towards action, do things before you are ready, try new things while you still can because your time here on earth isn't infinite and you have a calling to respond to.
There are people who need what you have and your father in heaven is expecting you to do what He placed in your heart and designed you to do.
You are His
November 22nd 2023
Your life isn’t yours. And that’s a good thing.
You don't belong to you. To some that statement may be offensive. But to me that statement is freeing. I am loved, I am covered, whatever happens I have a home and so do you.
You are God's creation. He knows you. He sees you. He wants to have a relationship with you. To change from His creation to His child you only need to believe in His son. But even if you don't He still loves you. The only thing you will lack is the abundant and eternal life that is freely offered to you
Belonging to God gives me peace. Because peace isn't dependent on your circumstances, it is dependent on your focus. What you focus on magnifies.
If all you have to look at is yourself and your ability, then you will reach a point where you get to the end of yourself. You won't be able to give any more and do any more and you will be at the mercy of the broken world we live in.
For those who accept their belonging and believe in Christ, we go into every situation knowing we have God with us. We still feel pain and we feel sad but we have hope.
We have hope in God that He will take us through our situations and even if He doesn't His will, will be done, not ours. Surrendering to His will removes the pressure to get everything right because we know we are in the care of our heavenly father.
Will you accept your belonging? Will you accept God's fatherhood? Would you rather resign to the will of this world or the will of your heavenly father?
A reasonable bargain
November 21st 2023
Whatever you have to lose is nothing compared to what you have to gain.
Most of the time what you give is what you get. You reap what you sow. But unfortunately the world is broken and that rule doesn't always work and sometimes it is because we are not sure what to sow.
Other times the conditions of our environment change the outcome and life happens as some people say.
But there is an assurance. An assurance of the greatest gift in existence and we are given a path to getting that gift. I am talking about eternal life. The gift we get through believing in Jesus Christ and the privilege of entering the kingdom that we receive by doing the will of God (Matthew 7:21)
What would you be willing to do to get a trillion dollars? Let's sweeten the deal a bit more. What would you be willing to do to never run out of money? How about to always be healthy no matter what? How about having an eternity that is guaranteed to not have suffering?
God is promising and offering a life without suffering and one that will never end. The price of admission is faith. For some, where Christianity isn't welcome, they may have to pay with their own life and go through a lot of suffering.
For the more privileged, like myself, we currently don't face as much and as heavy a persecution for believing in Jesus.
So I will leave you with the final thought of what you are giving up and what you are getting. Judge for yourself if the deal is a good one or not.
Failing forward
November 21st 2023
Don't fear failure
If you want to be successful you need to get comfortable with failure and get used to learning. Keep trying, failing fast, don't stay down stay down and always learn.
Self sufficient selfishness
November 20th 2023
Be selfless. For your own sake.
In a self-centered world, committing yourself to God and seeking to serve others is one of the most fulfilling things and therefore, ironically, one of the most selfish.
Healthy progress
November 19th 2023
Move forward steadily.
Work when you can. Rest when you can. It's okay to mess up. Perfect balance isn't possible, perfection isn't possible. It's all about finding your best and healthiest way forward.
Fellowship
November 18th 2023
The importance of fellowship.
Fellowship fans flames. It keeps hope and faith alive. Having similar minded and motivated individuals around you is a great encouragement.
Help from above
November 17th 2023
You can get help from above.
It is difficult to go through life alone. Especially during the hard times. There are days you have so much to deal with and you are not sure how you can get through it. Sometimes it isn't really that you have nobody to talk to but the people around you can't help. There is an answer to this conundrum.
As I write this it is around 1 am. I have a busy, early and full day tomorrow and I am not even sure if I will be able to get though the tasks I am responsible for. Personally, I am going through a tough emotional period fighting loss and sadness. Mentally I feel overwhelmed and I can't really articulate this to anyone.
But I have hope and I have a foundation of peace because I have a father in heaven who is looking down at me. He has assured me today through a fellowship I had that He is with me and that all I have to do is to trust Him.
I don't have an assurance that everything will go smoothly or that the pain and pressure I feel will go away. But I have an assurance that whatever happens, good or bad.
I have open arms that are ready to receive me, to comfort me, to give me strength and guidance and as long as my relationship with Him is secure. My future is secure both on this side of life and beyond.
This assurance is accessible to you too. His loving arms are open for you, He is waiting.
The priority
November 16th 2023
What is the most important thing in the world?
What is the most important thing in the world? Money, fame, peace, love, relationships, food, respect, equity, sustainability? Is the one thing that cuts through all of them? Is there a silver bullet that touches on every human life?
If you have been following me since I started my journey of writing daily you may have noticed that I am a Christian and that my recent posts have been a bit more Christian than the older ones.
I believe that I have been called,among many other things, to do online ministry and I have always wanted to be subtle in my outreach. Because I don't want to scare people off.
I also wanted to focus on what I thought was "more practical wisdom." Wisdom that has to do with mindset and productivity. But God has been urging me lately to go back to prioritising Him. I have always seen myself as having the gift of faith. Believeing in God in an irrational amount.
And today I share that belief that the most important thing in the world is the salvation of our souls. Every human being has a soul and those souls will live on after our bodies have died. And they will go to suffer for eternity or be in paradise for eternity.
I think it is more rational and logical to think about how you will spend eternity than how you will spend your time on this side of life. If you had 10 days to live would you do something on day 1 that you know will mess us your day 2-10 or would you set yourself up to enjoy the majority of your time?
I will let you decide what you prioritise. Your earthly goals, or your eternal life and impact.
The call
November 15th 2023
Jesus is standing at the door, knocking. Will you open it?
God is calling all of us, me and you to fully surrender to him. He says that we should love Him with all our mind, all our heart, all our soul and all our strength. Love means commitment and sacrifice. But what about our work? What about our careers? Are we all supposed to be pastors?
God created each of us and set aside good work for each of us to do. We have spiritual gifts and we also have skills and interests. With these skills we can contribute both in church and outside of it.
Our role is to bring God's kingdom here on earth. The word of God says "For the kingdom of God is a matter of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit". So we are to bring righteousness, working the right way in accordance with His commands, doing things justly, doing things with mercy, kindness and love in order to bring peace and joy in all our workplaces. With the Holy Spirit's leadership.
You may think giving up everything to God will cost you so much. But He asks us to give Him our burdens and take His yoke which is easy and His burden which is light. He wants you to seek Him so that He can give you everything else. Instead of struggling to meet your own needs by your own power and might. By giving yourself, you gain more than you could ever imagine.
He is calling you to Himself for your own sake. For the sake of those you serve at work. He knows what is best for you and best for the world. He is the one who designed you and He knows what you need. He is standing at the door knocking. Will you answer? Will you open it?
Future you
November 14th 2023
Your future self needs you.
There is this common question that is normally asked. What advice would you give your past self? A video I watched today highlighted a different angle to that situation. What thing can you do now, that your future self will be glad you did?
"The best way to predict the future is to create it."-Abraham Lincon. A point I have mentioned before and one that I highlight in my latest youtube video is that you can have a rough idea where you will end up if you look at your daily actions and habits.
Negative habits have negative consequences and positive habits have positive consequences. It is that simple. I am not guaranteeing that you can completely avoid all negative outcomes by doing the right thing but you will greatly reduce the probability of them happening.
So think of your future self. If they were watching you now, would they be happy, would they be glad, would they be calm or would they be screaming at the top of your lungs telling you to stop, telling you to go back, to stay, to take the chance, to not give up.
As you make your decision, remember that they have consequences. Decide if your future self will be okay with dealing with those consequences. May God help us to choose wisely.
Defeating fear
November 13th 2023
Someone bigger than your fear.
Fear is saying that the threat is bigger than your God. Put your trust in Yahweh.
Are you wasting time?
November 12th 2023
How you can tell if you are wasting time.
I made a video that is now available on my YouTube channel. It is mainly geared towards 20 year old but I believe it applies to everyone. I share my thoughts on why we feel like we are wasting time or we are behind in life and what we can do about it.
I share the concept of wasting time. Paraphrasing Socrates' quote of “A life not evaluated is a life wasted.” I mentioned earlier that one of the most accurate ways to know yourself. Knowing what you value and knowing what you deem important, you just have to look at how you spend your time. And fortunately or unfortunately what time tells you may not align with what you think is important.
I also share that you can only waste time if you have a goal on how to spend that time. You can only get lost if you have a destination. So you need a goal, you need to know where you want to go. Start with a broad vision, then break it down to a point where you know what you need to do each day to achieve your goal. So that at the end of each day you will objectively know whether you are wasting your time or not.
I then share things to avoid and things to remember when you are setting these goals. To know what to add and remove in regards to habits and behaviours then you simply look at what is taking you closer to your goal and what is taking you away from your goal. Then adjust accordingly.
Avoid breaking yourself, know that you are human and that you are limited, however, remember that your limits can be stretched, but do it gradually, not all at once. I will leave the rest for you to find out in the video. My channel name is Andrew Rubia and the video title is “Are you wasting your 20s?”
You can always improve
November 11th 2023
Perfection vs progress
You will never be perfect but you can always be better.
The price of pleasure
November 10th 2023
Pleasure's cost.
Pleasure has a price. Pay now or pay later.
How to know yourself
November 9th 2023
Time tells the truth.
If you want to know your values, your principles and what's most important to you. Then look at how you spend your time. Actions don't lie.
Enjoying work
November 8th 2023
The world isn't fair
You won't always enjoy what you are good at and you won't always be good at what you enjoy.
Don't quit
November 7th 2023
Keep on
No matter how many times you fall. Keep getting up.
What is defeat?
November 6th 2023
Defining defeat.
Defeat is not the result of continuous failure, but rather the outcome of choosing to give up.
Enjoy the mundane
November 5th 2023
The mundane shouldn't be ignored.
The majority of my posts are pushy. They push the reader to do more, to seek more, to make changes, to pursue difficulty. The reason for this is that most of the time I write to myself and I am in a point in my life where much more is needed.
I also believe I live in a society where some people have given up on their dreams and ideas because of their environment and I don't think that was how we were designed to live.
But what if you are okay with how your life is? What if you don't want more or you don't need change? What if you have already made the tough decisions and you are already pursuing your dream? Or you have made your peace that you won't be able to pursue your purpose? This post is here to say that is okay.
At first look mundane may have a negative connotation. Meaning that life is boring,uneventful, lacking excitement or enthusiasm. But I tend to think of mundane as the process. The in between putting in the work. This is most of our lives.
The young life of Jesus Christ. The most spiritually influential human being in history, is touched upon briefly. We don't know a lot about what happened between the ages of 1-30.
Does that mean nothing happened? I think not. Those were his formative years. Years that helped him have a successful ministry and pursue his purpose successfully.
So don't feel like every section of your life has to be a dramatic episode of your favourite series. Or you need to flood your social media with highlights.The mundane is usually the most important part.
Shoot your shot
November 4th 2023
You will regret what you didn't do, more than what you did. The chances you missed. The what ifs.
One of the advantages of being you is you don't have many responsibilities and you don't have that much to lose. As you grow older, you may get a family, employees,property etc. So while you still can, take advantage of every opportunity.
Apply for those programs, boot-camps, workshops, trips, retreats. The scholarships. The jobs. Get to know people, ask that person out.
Seek out new experiences while you are flexible enough to pursue them. Rejection is painful but so is regret. So you would rather try and fail than not try at all.
If you are not young and you have many responsibilities, you can still take chances. I believe you just have to be more careful. Insulate your responsibilities in such a manner that they won't be affected if things go wrong.
Living life in your comfort zone and playing things safe is okay if you are living the life you were created to live. If you are truly living out your purpose and you have tried out all your good God-led ideas.
Don't take risks and chances for the sake of risks and random chance, be purposeful with them.
For those of us who have yet to realise our potential. Those of us who still have unreleased songs, unwritten books, un preached sermons. To those unearthed gems whose hearts refuse to resign to the mundane without being given a chance to express themselves.
To those people, take the chance, take the risk, shoot your shot until you have no bullets left. Give your all and go to the grave with as little regrets as possible.
While you can
November 3rd 2023
The window of opportunity won't always be open.
There are things we take for granted. Our health, our ability to work, to think, being alive. The friends, colleagues and family around us. The support systems. The things that help us function the way we do. Things that we are used to so much that we think they will always be there.
This week was supposed to be a big week for me. As I shared last week, I had been accepted into multiple programs that would help me move forward in my faith, in my career and my hobbies.
But at the beginning of the week my body decided that I wouldn't take part in those programs.It wasn't even something that I could blame myself for not taking care of myself.
I tried to fight it but I had to submit. I recovered to a stable point today, then my mind and my heart gave way. I actually laughed at my pain because I couldn't believe it.
As I spent most of last month telling you. When you are close to your breakthrough, when you are pursuing your purpose and making progress. Be ready for resistance and be ready to fight it. But also don't postpone anything that you are able to do now.
Even though you might not have all you need right now, you never know if what you have now will be taken away. Do what you can, while you still can, because life won't wait for you. Life will happen with or without your consent, both the good and the bad. And you may never have this opportunity again.
I am not saying that you should rush at everything. I am not saying that you should have a mindset of scarcity and an attitude of desperation.
But rather have a spirit of urgency and awareness that things change and they don't always change in your favour.
For His eyes only
November 2nd 2023
Doing it for God. Is enough.
I have shared before that even if our work affects only one life. That one life is enough. Being able to positively affect a single life is an immense and incredible privilege.
Today I will look at another angle that I have touched upon in the past week. Working for the audience of our heavenly father.
I have made videos that stayed for months with zero views (the last time I checked them). Articles published that have had zero readers. I know that the world, society and nobody owes me anything. I am not entitled to views or reads and I can't force people to look at my work.
But at these moments of reflecting on my un-viewed work, I think of why I felt compelled to write, why I share my thoughts. I believe that the ideas God gives me were not meant for me. I believe they are meant for others. But even if nobody reads them, I want to remain accountable to the one who gave them to me.
Doing something just so that God can see, so that He can be proud of you and me, should be enough. It is God who gives us our assignments and even though we may not always understand why or how. He knows why and we should trust His judgement.
We have to remember that we will give an account for all that He gave us to do. So just do it. Because even when the internet tells you that you have received no view, nobody read your work, nobody visited your site, or appreciated your sacrifice.
God is watching and He is pleased when we obey Him, so do it for Him, do it for your heavenly father.
Your piece of the world
November 1st 2023
Your piece of the world
A friend of mine last week, after saying hello, asked me what I think of the US dollar being worth 150 Kenyan Shillings. It was kind of a big news story at the time. And my response was that I had other things to worry about and I couldn't be bothered to think about that.
We are bombarded with a lot of information. I heard that there was a rugby final recently I am not sure who won. Politics always has things going on. There are wars, natural disasters, different types of crises.
You may be passionate about some of these things and have no idea about everything else. You might honestly not care about some of them. And that is okay.
Just because you care about something doesn't mean everyone else should. Just because you don't care about something doesn't mean it isn't important. Yes, ignorance is not an excuse, but trying to know everything is a futile endeavour.
Don't buy in to the pressure of having an opinion on everything. Saying that you don't care may be a bit harsh or rude. But saying that you don't know is perfectly fine and acceptable. Be kind, talk to whose who want to listen. Be willing to let people handle their own stress and life without buying into what stresses you.
For me, the only thing that I think everyone should take some time thinking about is their spiritual life. It is the only thing that will matter to everyone, everywhere after they die. Everything else is a bonus.
I will stick to sharing and knowing what I think is important, to those willing to listen. I will do my best to be content and make the most of my little piece of the world.
Micromega decisions
October 31 2023
Small decisions add up.
Do you have people you admire? Moments in history that stand out to you? This could be world renown public figures, a friend or family member.
Is it something they did? Something they said? A moment? A lifelong legacy? Whatever they did. They had to decide to do it. Let's explore that.
I can have a guess that most if not all the people you admire are disciplined. Disciplined people are used to making difficult decisions often. People who choose discomfort, people who choose to delay their gratification. People who choose to do what is right even when it hurts.
The people you admire. They most likely had to make tough decisions in order to get themselves to the stage where they are doing what you admire. For some it begun in their childhood.
They created a habit of doing the right things and one day they made what we may call a big decision. Others continued making tough small decisions everyday and that is what we admire.
When you are used to hard decisions, hard decisions become a bit easier to make. Your brain doesn't fight them off as much. There will always be an aspect of difficulty to it but there will certainly be a difference.
So if you want to live an admirable life. If you want to be able to make big tough decisions. Start with small ones. The daily ones. You need to start with pins before you can get to nails. It will take time.
It will be hard. But it is a great way to live. May God give us strength. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
What you have
October 30 2023
What do you have and what are you doing with it?
What do you have that other people wish they had? And are you making the most of it?
Regardless of your feelings
October 29 2023
Learn to move forward regardless of your feelings.
As I write this half of my mouth is in excruciating pain. One of my molars decided to rip out of my gums today and even though this has happened to me before it has never been this painful.
I made a stupid decision yesterday night to watch a 3 hour video instead of sleeping and I am reaping the bitter fruits of three hours of sleep and a day full of work. The reason I couldn't stop watching is because some obvious and wise points were being made. One of them was about feelings.
Feelings have been put on a pedestal. We are told to explore our feelings, to inspect them, to think about them and examine them. Not to be afraid of diving deeper. But there is a danger to doing this. We focus on our emotions and forget the motion. You can end up using your emotion as an excuse and a scapegoat as I have.
Emotion follows motion. Not the other way around. Through experience, I have found that the best way to change how you feel isn't through drugs, therapy or focusing on those feelings but by doing things. Being useful. Being productive. Moving forward.
This is a skill and a muscle that grows through practice. Of course this is what I have seen working for me. So it is okay if it doesn't work for you.
Let me get back to my pain and my work now. Thankfully I have been able to work through pain. And hopefully I will master the art of working and functioning in spite of my feelings. And I hope you will master that too.
Fight for your dream
October 28 2023
Just because the dream is from God. It doesn't mean that your way will be free of obstacles.
I have been talking about skills, dreams, purpose and resistance. I am just from watching a movie called The Hill. A movie about a baseball player who had to fight disability, disease and injuries to reach his dream of playing baseball in the major league.
Just because God gave you the skill, the dream, the vision and the provision. It doesn't mean that you won't meet any obstacles in the way. I have talked a lot about the resistance you will face. But know that you also have to fight back.
Fight back is through faith. Faith will fuel you. You have to go back to God for the strength. You need to recognise His sovereignty and accept His will. His ways are higher than our ways, so you may not always understand why certain things are happening, but you need to remember that He is your heavenly father and nothing He does is malicious or a mistake.
There will be pain. You may have to wait. Your dream and your journey may not turn out the way you want because the dream isn't essentially yours. The skill isn't yours. God will play it out His way. You need to surrender it and that is painful but it is also freeing.
Remember that there are other destinies related to your dream. It is not just for you. Keep walking every single step with God. Honour Him. Rely on Him. Consult Him. May He guide you and help you. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
Orders from above
October 27 2023
You have orders from above.
I am going to take time to build upon yesterday's idea. I shared that everything we have belongs to God. Including our ideas, our businesses and careers. This increases the weight of responsibility that we have. Let me explain.
If your parents, your boss, your friends tell you to do something, you can shrug it off and not do it. There may be consequences, but generally you can survive without following their orders. But when God tells you to do something then you need to pay attention. He is the Lord almighty, sovereign creator of all. He just doesn't make random suggestions for fun.
So what if we take our ideas as not just ideas but instructions from the Lord. The first people recorded to have been anointed with the Holy Ghost were skilled workers. God worked through them to bring His plans into life. He wants to do the same through you.
We are His stewards, His agents and we are at His service. I am not saying every idea is from Him but He has provided us with His word and ways to reach out to Him and speak to Him so that we can verify them.
I see ideas as answered prayers. The skills and dreams God gives us are not to serve ourselves but to serve Him and bring His kingdom to earth. Whenever someone prays and tells God a problem if God won't answer it directly He may choose to answer it through His servants. You and me.
So let us treat whatever God has put in our heart with the seriousness and urgency it deserves. I for one, have a lot of work to do. What about you?
We are stewards
October 26 2023
We own nothing. We are only stewards.
Today's post is from the online fellowship I attend called Faith Driven Entrepreneurs.
It is a free online fellowship for any Christian Entrepreneur to join and we talk about how to carry out our businesses in a way that honours God.
Every good thing comes from God and belongs to God. Our ideas, our businesses, our money, our family, our time, our energy and the breath in our lungs. It all belongs to Him.
We are extremely privileged to be able to be stewards to watch over and manage His property and as good stewards we should manage it according to His instructions.
Imagine giving money to a charity and later being informed that 90% of the funds went to buy a lavish house and a car for the director of the charity and 10% went to the actual cause of the charity. How would you feel?
Or imagine hiring someone to do a job only to come back and find that they used your money and resources for their own personal gain and spent it all on themselves.
That is what happens whenever we use God's resources without His instructions. As my fellow entrepreneurs in the meeting pointed out, this is a painful message to hear.
It calls for us to rethink and redesign our life. To be intentional about every action. Making sure that everything we do is in line with the instructions received from He who owns it all.
May God help and guide you and I to be good stewards. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
Set yourself up
October 25 2023
Make uncomfortable decisions that will push you to make progress.
Everyone is lazy by default. Some people have just taught themselves to be disciplined and made it a part of their life. Sometimes you need to acknowledge your laziness and take steps that will force you to work.
I have been a quitter for most of my life. I decided a while back that I couldn't swim because it is hard. And I almost drowned because when I was thrown into the water. I did nothing. No struggle, no splashing, just let myself sink without trying to swim.
That is just one of many examples where I answered hardship with quitting. But I have now found a way of forcing myself to work, some of the time. By making commitments. One of the main reasons I write daily is because I made a promise to you. By you, I mean the public, that I would write and post daily. If I hadn't made that promise, you wouldn't be reading this.
Apply for, pay for and committing to things that will make you uncomfortable. I have to wake up early tomorrow for an online fellowship. I have to do some content creation homework and attend creative entrepreneurs meeting. Because I signed up and promised to be there. I always regret making these commitments right after I have made them. Because of the work that awaits me. I always wish that I hadn't. But after doing the work I am glad that I did.
So what uncomfortable promises and commitments can you make? And instead of thinking how much you will disappoint people if you don't fulfil them, think of what will happen if you do?
Labels and power
October 24 2023
The labels you have, influence you.
One of the three books currently in my head is about identity. About how we live in a society that seeks to put a label on everyone and put them into tribes.
There is a lot I can say about this but today I will focus on the power labels have and the power you have over them.
One of my favourite and most time-consuming pieces of content I ever made and recorded was related to making things in your life matter less. Specifically the negative things.
You cannot change what happened to you in the past, you cannot fully control what happens to you now but you can control your reaction to those things.
You may have grown up with labels of stupidity, labels of poverty, labels of sickness, labels of failure. One of the labels I battle with is referring to myself as depressed.
My friends have warned me against continually running to that label every time I think of myself and talk about myself because I end up becoming that identity.
This does not mean that I should ignore my condition but it does mean that I should not elevate it above everything else.
I can choose to live up to the characteristics of being depressed or I can choose my own path of who I want to be, and where I want to go, then decide to embody those characteristics while being conscious of my depression. Moving forward in spite of it.
So what labels have you given power? What labels have you let go? And what labels do you want to embody?
The brunt of building
October 23 2023
There is pain in the path of purpose.
That moment between the time you start and the time you finish. That is where life happens. That is where you face challenges and you grow. That is when you learn about the world, about other people and about yourself.
Having grown up in a generation referred to as the microwave generation, patience is something not a lot of us have. We want things to work and we want to see results now.
We have grown-up exposed to people with riches. We have grown-up wit this idea of virality, that something can shoot up in popularity and change someone's life, just like that.
We have grown-up seeing the highlights. Not in the ugly in between.So when our lives and our paths are less than perfect we panic.
We think that when anything is wrong everything is wrong. We have been told all the information we need is on the internet so we keep seeking, buying books, listening to podcasts, looking for the answer, the antidote to pain and discomfort.
Pain and discomfort are the price of admission to purpose and accomplishment. And it takes time.
Some have built for decades, others less. But you need to accept that if you are building something, a business, a relationship, a family, a career, a discipline, a habit, you cannot escape the in between
And the in between will have rough points that will make you want to give up. That is just part of the path you are on and the price you have to pay if you want to get to the end of your journey.
At the edge of success
October 22 2023
Don't fail at the edge of success.
There is a phrase "clinching victory from the jaws of defeat. But there is also an opposite version of that phrase that I was reminded of in church today. "Clinching defeat from the jaws of victory". Specifically failing at the edge of success. Let me explain.
The reason that there are so many self-help books and there will always be more is that there will never be an end to different perspectives. As long as there is more than one person on this earth there will always be more than one perspective, more than one way, more than one opinion,methodology, timeline...you get the point.
There will always be more than one way to succeed and one element that is different in regards to attaining success is time. No two people will have the same exact timeline. Most people set out to do projects at the beginning of the year and now that we have three months left that initial energy may have been lost or is running out. I am writing today to encourage you, in the final stretch of this year, to continue until the end. If you left that project somewhere it is time to pick it up again and dust it off.
The calendar is nothing but digits, don't let the illusion of a new year break you. There is no magic that will happen in January that is beyond the psychological impression of newness and that psychological impression can be made right now. So finish what you started, find a way through the obstacles on your way, you may just be on the edge of success so don't give up now.
Decide for yourself
October 21 2023
Decide your direction or you will end up nowhere.
As I try and navigate my young adult life I have realised that the sooner you accept responsibility over every aspect of your life the closer you will get to achieving your goals.
If you don't take responsibility over managing your money. Other people and circumstances will. If you don't have a budget then you will never know whether you have enough money or not. You will have a hard time saying yes and no to things and requests because you won't be sure of the effect of those decisions.
If you don't take responsibility over your timethen other people and circumstances will. You won't be sure whether you are free or not. You will finish weeks or even years having made no progress despite knowing exactly what needs to be done. Time will pass but you won't grow.
I am not saying that you can have control over everything in your life. There are things that will happen outside your control. But you would rather have a plan, a budget, a schedule so that even when unprecedented things happen you can react accordingly, you can plan around them because you are used to planning.
But if disaster finds you without a plan or direction in your life then you will also have no plan or direction in regards to dealing with it.
If you don't decide things for yourself, the world and circumstances will decide things for you.
Unclogging your mind
October 20 2023
How to get unclogged.
Have you ever felt like your mind is full? Like you have so much going through your system and you feel overwhelmed. You can't think straight or process your emotions correctly. I have felt that way many times in the past.
In this digital age it is easy to get to this feeling. Especially if you spend a lot of time in front of screen. It is also, in my unprofessional opinion, an easy situation to diagnose. You have more information coming in and more things inside you than there is coming out.
The worst thing you can do in such a state and what I have been guilty of doing is to consume more. Watch more videos, listen to more podcasts, distract myself with entertainment. This will not relieve the pressure. It may add to it or give a temporary soothing.
The answer is in doing things that demand that you exert energy, thinking power, words, emotions and focus. Things that draw more out of you that they give. Give yourself a project, an assignment, talk to a friend, go on a random run, talk to your Heavenly Father in prayer, write your thoughts and emotions in a journal, a piece of paper or in an app. Release whatever is inside you, get it out, get unclogged. Then you will be able to move forward. And to avoid getting clogged up, always try and create,exert, before you consume.
Thank you for reading.
Pleasing God with purpose
October 19 2023
Please God with your purpose.
Fulfilling your purpose brings God pleasure. The first time scripture mentions people being filled with Holy Ghost it was so that they would work in excellence. He has the same purpose and plan for you. To make His good creation better.
Let me set something straight. God loves you and He is generally pleased with you even if you don't fulfil your purpose. You are not fulfilling your purpose so that you can get access to heaven. It is a privilege to take part in His will and building His kingdom.
I get this point from the baptism of Jesus, the man whose purpose and goal were known many years before His death. When he was beginning His ministry He was baptised and God, His father, our father, the king of kings and the Lord of Lords acknowledged Him as He is His son and shared that He is proud of Him just as He was starting the work He was born to do.
The same Bible also shares the parable of the talents where one servant is punished for not utilising what he was left with. So even if God still loves you and He will still accept you into His kingdom if you don't fulfil His purpose. You should seek to bring Him more pleasure by fulfilling the purpose and responsibilities He has given you.
The magic and the work
October 18 2023
The life you want is on the other side of the work you are yet to do.
Yesterday I shared a quote "The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding." I got it from a video of a man named Chris Williamson. I thought I should clarify it today.
In the statement the magic means what you desire. The place that you imagine you should be in your life. If everything goes to plan how will your life look? That's the magic.
To get to that place there are steps you need to make. Choices you need to make. Things you need to sacrifice. You need to be brave and bold. You need to push yourself more than you have before. You need to go into the unknown.
That venturing into the unknown is the work that we avoid. The work we procrastinate. The risk and the steps we know we should take but we don't.
Of course this doesn't apply to everyone. Some people have already done all they could and they are still not where they thought they would be. But we have a general idea of our potential and we tend to know what we should do. The hardest part is doing it and sticking to what will move us forwards even when the results don't come immediately.
So do the work. Force yourself to take that step. Otherwise you will get to the end of the road wondering "What if ?..."
Do the work
October 17 2023
The work is the secret
The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.- Chris Wiliamson
Types of resistance: Defeat
October 16 2023
When faced with failure. You choose whether to give up or push on.
It is easier to fulfil and pursue purpose when things in life are smooth. When resources are available, when you have support, when you are making the right choices and getting the right results. But what happens when you make a wrong turn or are met with a big obstacle?
Refining happens in fire. Relationships, careers and objectives are all tested in times of hardship. What happens when you make a mistake, what happens when things don't go as plan, what happens when disaster strikes?
At the moment of disaster you are met with a choice. Do I give up or do I go again? Sometimes it isn't even a disaster, sometimes what has always been working stops working. The methods you have been using are no longer relevant or effective and you have to adapt.
During these moments, it is important to remember that you cannot be perfect. Eventually something will go wrong. You also need to keep the end goal in mind.Is what you are going towards important enough to fight for? If the answer is yes, then gather strength, gather information, see what lessons you can learn from your setback and move forward.
Failures don't define you. It is what you do after them that does. And just because you have failed once it doesn't mean you won't fail again. You have to keep the faith, keep the fight, keep the goal in sight and always move forward.You define your outcomes, you choose when to stop, you choose when to give up and you choose when to press on. Choose to keep going until your work is done.
Types of resistance: Delay
October 15 2023
Don't delay your journey and your impact.
Another way that we can end up not fulfilling our purpose is by thinking that we don't have to pursue it now. We lack the sense of urgency and we procrastinate its pursuit.
I am not saying that you should rush into your dreams and goals, but more often than not we tend to push them forward in the name of "perfect timing." A perfect time does not exist.
Jesus Christ began his ministry at 30 years of age despite knowing His purpose. Two days later His mother Mary asked Him to help some people in a wedding and He responded that it wasn't yet time to start His work. Nevertheless, He helped them and performed His first miracle.
Even though we may not feel or be ready to pursue our purpose, the world needs all the help it can get. Whatever you have to offer is valuable. And it is far easier to improve in your craft once you have started practising it. Rather than just having it in your head.
Time and trends will move forward but if you never put yourself in the race you will always be behind. Start now. Then you will be able to know what you need to be ready, And the earlier you start, the more room and flexibility you will have to test and confirm your calling, then change if needed. And you can only test by doing it.
2nd Peter 1:10a Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election.
Types of resistance: Distractions
October 14 2023
Distractions can be good and bad.
Don't be distracted from your purpose and goal. God has a plan for you but the powers and principalities of this world don't want you to implement that plan.
Distractions don't have to be negative. As long as you are not doing what you are meant to do, then the enemy and principalities are satisfied. You can succeed, gain wealth, have great businesses, do big good things, but as long as you are not where you are meant to be then the enemy is happy.
The general pattern of the world, especially from where I am from, is to be born, go to school, get educated, get a job, get a family retire and die. It may be different from your general pattern but you get the point. You live as the system and society guides you to.
Then there are distractions of pleasure. Entertainment and seeking thrill. These may not be intrinsically bad, depending on what you are doing, but they become a problem when you do them in place of pursuing your goal.
To combat this, you simply need to be aware of your goals,aware of your boundaries and intentional with your time. You can plan for pleasure but only after you have planned for purpose. Otherwise you will find yourself being " Everywhere in general and nowhere in particular-Joe Wisdom" having "Tried so hard and gone so far but in the end it doesn't even matter."- Linkin Park.
You may have a great family, a great business and career, have great impact but still not attain your purpose. Don't live a distracted life.
Handling resistance
October 13 2023
How do you handle resistance?
When you meet resistance on your journey, don't be surprised. Also don't wallow in self-pity, languishing in the pain and the constant battle and setbacks. Remember, you are on the winning side, the one who is in you is stronger than He who is in the world. Turn your persecution and pain into prayer and into praise.
There is also great pleasure in pursuing your purpose. You get lost in your pursuit. You forget to eat,you forget what day it is, you even forget to sleep. And when you meet people who also operate in their areas of purpose, great things happen. You all bring your flames to become a roaring fire.
Therefore, one of the most effective ways of handling resistance is through fellowship with other believers and other people pursing purpose. Encouraging each other, sharing your failures and your victories. Learning from each other and supporting each other.
You also need to remember who you are and why you do what you do. You are God's creation and through faith you are God's child. You are a Christian first before anything else. That affects your values and principles. It affects How you do what you do and who you are doing it for. For God.
Moreover, also have your why, why are you pursuing that path, what is your goal, your aim, your desired effects, your steps and strategies, your plan. Remind yourself of these truths as often as possible to keep you going.
There will be resistance
October 12 2023
The road to purpose is full of enemies.
When Moses was born there was a decree to kill all the baby boys. He survived and delivered the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. When Jesus was being born a decree was given to kill all the baby boys. He survived and delivered the whole world from eternal damnation. When Thomas Edison was a child he was deemed to be too slow a learner to be in school. He later invented the light bulb.
The world and it systems mign not necessarily allign with your purpose. If you choose to pursue purpose you will find resistance. People and things will be against you even you closest friends and family may be your enemies. Your plans will be disrupted, things will happen against you, you will be discouraged.
However, you must remember why you are in the battle. Fighting for God's will to be done and if you are reward oriented there is no greater reward than being with God in paradise for eternity. And the benefits of having the grace, peace, favour and joy of God will be with you before you get to enjoy heaven.
Your story (Part 3)
October 11 2023
You have the opportunity to be part of something big.
As I said yesterday. The world as we know it wasn't God's plan. All this pain and suffering wasn't meant to be here. Human beings messed up and brought this upon us. But God gave us a way out.
The ideas and dreams inside of you are God's way of mending the world. Provided they are in accordance with His will. He made the world, He made you, He knows how to fix it and He knows how to fix you and everyone else.
And even if your life has no issues there is still a spiritual problem that needs fixing. Our spiritual reconciliation with God, to live with Him in eternity.
God tells us not to conform to the world but be transformed by the renewal of our mind. The world will try to make you do it's bidding. Give you worthless targets like monetary wealth and fame. Things that will not last after your death.
God gives you the chance you to have an eternal impact. Something that will matter after the grave. But He also allows us to bring a bit of His kingdom here on earth.
He has work for every one of us, to make people and things to being in right standing with Him, to spread peace and to bring and maintain His joy.
In whatever area you are designed to. From finance to farming, art to actuarial science, preaching to playing football. You can bring His kingdom down through excellence and through spreading the gospel in any way you can. Don't settle for less when you can have an eternal impact.
Your story (Part 2)
October 10 2023
Will you take part in your story?
Yesterday I said that God has a plan for you. He has a plot for you in the story of human existence and He put you in this world for a purpose.
Both the world and your heart don't want you to accomplish that goal. The world is not our own. It is broken and flawed and it is ruled by principalities and powers that are constantly fighting against us.
Your heart is also deceitful beyond all measure. Your flesh has desires that are insatiable. Your body will constantly do what you don't want it to and your mind will go to places you don't want it to go.
But you can do something about this. By believing in Jesus Christ and loving Him and His father you can resist your bodily and mental temptations and you can work and thrive through the brokenness of the world.
It will be hard. It will be a daily second by second battle. But it is a battle that is already won. At the end of this side of eternity the battle will end. Everything we know of will pass away. The victorious, those who believe in Jesus Christ the son of God will live in paradise with Him. Those who are not, will live in eternal suffering.
But before then you can choose to make your life on earth as well as the life of others a little less broken. We all want the world to be better. It wasn't meant to be like this. Will you take part in building and living in the world we were meant to have. Will you take your part in the story God wrote for you?
Your story (Part 1)
October 9 2023
Will you choose to live your story?
As crazy as some of the stories are, I believe the Bible to be a historical account of past events. They are things that happened. Yes there are parables and there is symbolism but the historical accounts are ture, especially the central story of Jesus Christ.
I believe the earth stood still, a donkey spoke, there was a global flood, fire and sulphur rained from heaven. That a man prayed for a three year famine, then prayed for it to stop, and it did. He prayed for fire from heaven to burn a sacrifice and it happened.
And I believe the same God who did all those things through people like me and you is still alive and looking to work through us. Our actions and stories may not be as dramatic or miraculous but they will still have the same impact. Ensuring that the will of God is done of earth for the sake of us all, His creation and His children. Bringing His kingdom down.
You are significant, you have a story, you have a role. The only way you can know it is by getting to know the story writer. The one who put your name in the book of the story of the world. He conceived you in His mind before you were conceived by your mother and He has a very specific job for you.
So will you choose to live out your destiny or conform to what the world wants you to do?
My rough future plans
October 8 2023
My rough future writing plans.
I plan to write daily till the end of this year as promised and then I will review whether I will be writing daily for the rest of my life. What I know is that I will always be writing.
I have also been thinking of starting a newsletter and centralising and organising all my posts into one website so that they can be easily accessible.
I do need to make money and move forward in my life from the stage I am at. But I don't want to put my content behind a paywall. I think I need a bit more consistency and quality before I offer extra content for a cost. Let me know if you have ever thought of paying for my content or making a donation.
But I may also end up looking for money in other ways such as graphic design or writing for a publication. I already have two book ideas. One a short palate cleanser and another that may morph into podcasts, courses, workbooks, workshops and a mental health and mindset movement.
I used to have no ideas dreams and goals. Then I asked God to give me some and now I have too many. As I have said before, I have enough contentment to die tomorrow and enough ambition to live for another 100 years. But all these are long-term goals that will be achieved through incremental actions. I may achieve all of them. I may achieve none. But I will do what I can. In the best way I can.
My reason for writing
October 7 2023
Why I write.
I was made to write. Most birds were designed to fly and most fish were designed to swim. I was designed to write, among other things. It is one of my gifts and it wasn't meant for me to enjoy alone.
My topics come from trying to get myself out of a 4-year rut I have been having. While battling with depression, I have become the least productive and active version of myself. I thrive when I am active and adding value consistently, creatively and diligently. Those are three pillars of my life that I have failed to uphold lately.
My daily posts are more of public diaries or public letters to myself and things I think people should know and think about. I believe my opinion is worth sharing.
I don't want to dictate your life I want to challenge you to think and to be better. If you think better, you act better. If you act better, you live better and when you live better that affects those around you.
So by making one person think twice about something I can change the world. That sounds far-fetched but it isn't if you look through history and see the influence that one person can have on millions, in public and private life.
So I write for me to use what I have. The knowledge and gift I have been given. Then I write to help you, to encourage you, to make you think about things and hopefully to affect your life and the life of those around you positively.
Tomorrow I will talk about my rough future plans.
My reason
October 6 2023
What is my goal?
I have been going on and on about the importance of having a goal so that you can orient all your life towards that goal.
Goals help you make everyday decisions as well as long term decisions. They give you clarity and enable progress. So what's my goal?
As of now my overall goal is to please my heavenly father by obeying His commands, fulfilling my purpose, using my talents and taking part in the great commission. I am not doing too well in every part of that goal but I am doing my best and I will improve.
Writing allows me to fulfil my purpose, use my talents and on some days I share the gospel in the best way I know how, hoping to bring more people to believe in Christ, repent, be born again and start a new life of immorality.
That's my overall goal for now. I hope to refine and define it better as I move along. The book we went through together, "The Purpose Driven Life" encouraged coming up with a purpose statement.
Tomorrow I will talk about my plans and ideas for my writing. Hopefully giving you an insight into what you can expect and giving me a clear target to achieve and goals to work towards.
People vs numbers
October 5 2023
Do I write for numbers or for people?
When your job and focus is on social media it is easy to glorify numbers over people forgetting that every single metric has come from a person.
Ever since I started posting daily I have been losing followers on some platforms and gaining followers on others. I could post a video pouring my heart out, sometimes even spending money to get the graphics and the video would get views that I am not happy with. Others with less effort would get more views.
But I have to remind myself. These are not just views, likes, comments and metrics. These are people. You who are reading this is a person. And even if just one person takes the time out of their busy life to read what I am writing. That is a massive privilege.
Even if only one of my posts gets one view, that is still one person who I would not have reached if I hadn't posted. I have to fight the greed of more numbers because it is greed.
The views, comments likes and responses I have received for my content are more that other people will have in their lifetime. Not everyone will share their thoughts with the world and for those who do not everyone will get viewership and support like I have.
I am grateful to you, for giving me this opportunity. And if you are a content creator like me. Don't get greedy. Even one life impacted. One person reached. It Is a massive achievement.
Thank you so much for reading.
What works for you?
October 4 2023
What works for you?
Everyone's context is different. Everyone's environment is different. No two lives are the same. You have to carve your own path. Take the tips that work. Leave the rest.
This worked for this person and this worked for the other. Your path may be the same but some parts will be different.
A method may take 10 people 3 years to get to where they are going. The same method may take you two years or 5 years. Some people like working themselves into the ground for a long time then taking short breaks. Others like bouncing back and forth between work and breaks. Some prefer to work at night, others in the morning. Find what works and work with it. As much as your schedule and life allow.
I have asked myself why I have followed so much advice but not gotten the results. It's not easy to keep doing something consistently without anything to show for it. So much time and resources. But I tell you. It's not for nothing.
You may have not learned what will get you success but now you know what won't. You are far better than you were when you began. The only way to know what works is by working. Even if you have mentors, books and courses, you still have to apply the knowledge. So start now. I wish you all the best as you work towards finding what works.
Make a choice
October 3 2023
Choose one thing and go with it.
There is this pressure of adulthood when making decisions. We are afraid of making the wrong ones. But in reality the worst decision you can make is indecision. There is no perfect path. Some are better than others but don't let the pressure make you do "nothing."
Nobody has life completely figured out. We learn as we go. Life has many moving parts and all the parts have their own challenges. Once you overcome one challenge another one pops up. The best you can do is choose a path and choose your perimeters, as I have said many times before.
I am talking more on the aspect of careers. Your life has many aspects and they all deserve their fair bit of attention. Your spirituality is at the top of the list. But back to talking about careers/work. I don't have a career so do take my advice with a pinch of salt. I am writing to myself as much as I am writing to you.
You may have many interests and many ideas. You cannot implement all of them simultaneously. Believe me, I have tried (and I am still trying.) But pick one thing. Focus on that main thing for 1-5 years as you touch upon your other ideas on the side. Life is short but it is also fast. 5 years will be over before you know it.
Figure out that one thing. Build it out. Find what works and continue doing and building on what works. I will share more on finding what works in tomorrow's post.
Everyday Miracles
October 2 2023
We experience miracles everyday.
Today's post is dedicated to my grandmother, who today celebrated her birthday. After we finished the birthday celebration, she was asked to share a few words and said, “Don't take anything for granted. This, right here, being able to meet as a family. Is a miracle.”
I may not have said it verbatim, but it made me think of all the things we take for granted. Being able to wake up. That isn't something automatic. There are people with commas and people who are dead. There are those who are paralysed and can't even get out of bed.
Having food, shelter, clothing access to clean water, the internet, electricity, family, and friends. All little miracles. All precious things that are not as common as they should be.
Don't feel guilty for having these things. I often refer to myself as privileged because I am. But feeling bad for having access to things other people doesn't help anyone. Instead, you can be grateful, maybe less wasteful and take some time to appreciate the little everyday miracles.
The poisoned well
October 1 2023
Your core dictates everything else.
Imagine that you have a well as the only source of water in your home. You can leave the house to have water and food elsewhere, but when you get back home, your water for drinking and cooking comes from this well. The only issue is that the water in the well is poisoned.
In life, what matters is what you do consistently. The core of your behaviour dictates every other part of your life. You can have some good stints here and there but the habits you have, your source and your core beliefs and systems. Those are the things that matter most.
I saw a quote today online that you can't expect to be spiritually fit if you only work out on Sundays (by going to church.) And I see the same sentiment playing out in my life. My anxiety and overall internal stability has been off the charts lately, negatively. And I have realised it's because of what I feed myself.
The content I consume hasn't been the worst. But it hasn't been healthy. Not all my meals are junk, but my well is poisoned.
And as I work on reducing the garbage I consume. Maybe one of you out there is feeling internally sick. If so, you may need to check your well.
Thanks for reading.
In a moment
September 30 2023
Your life can change in an instant.
I will be honest with you. I have struggled to come up with a topic to write about today. And it seems like it has got harder over the past few weeks. Let me know if you have any questions or recommendations that can help me come up with ideas.
This year I have been watching Saturday night movies on a local TV station. They are usually based on true stories. Today I just wanted to point out how life can change in a moment.
A disease, a headache, or an accident can be a tragic turning point in one's life. Getting a child, a job, a call, or an opportunity can also be a great positive life-changing moment. It only takes a few seconds for your life to be unrecognisable.
So live fully in each moment. Cherish your experiences, work to your level best when you can, and stay close to God, loving Him and serving Him. I believe these few things will help you be ready and steady to face whatever eventuality.
Again these are just my quick thoughts. Let me know if you agree. Thanks for reading.
Get it out
September 29 2023
Treat ideas as minerals. Get them out of the ground and in the real world.
Ideas are like minerals. They are still valuable when they exist in your mind, but their true worth and potential are realised when you extract them, refine them, test them, and apply them in the real world.
I have mentioned before that ideas are not eggs. They won't hatch if you sit on them. I firmly believe that your ideas are incredibly valuable. If you choose to ignore them, someone else will come along and implement them, as God will not let such valuable ideas go to waste. I have personally witnessed this happen in my own life.
Get everything you need to implement your ideas as soon as possible. There is an ideal time, but there is no perfect time. The sooner you try them out, the sooner you can test whether they work or not.
Die empty. Die idea free. Implement those ideas as soon as possible and get them out of your head.
What's the secret?
September 28 2023
You know most of what you need to know to make one step forward
In the pursuit of progress, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that there is a secret or a hack that will completely transform everything.
In order to manage my mental condition, I have tried many things. Exercise, individual spiritual deliverance, corporate spiritual deliverance, medication, reading books, counselling, therapy, staying occupied, sunbathing, talking, changing my environment etc. I know these things aren't necessarily meant to cure me, but help me manage.
The point I am driving at is that I sought external solutions for internal issues. I also became lazy, waiting for something to click and for a magical change to happen in my life.
In pursuing financial stability, I have encountered individuals who lack income sources seeking advice from those who are financially secure, hoping to learn the secrets to earning money. The majority of bestselling books state the obvious in a clear and consistent manner. Sometimes, we mistakenly believe that the solution to our problems must be complex. However, in reality, we are simply avoiding the effort and dedication required to do what we already know.
I am not saying that there is no use for knowledge, courses, classes, mentors, etc. But make sure that before you buy a book or pay for a course. Before you ask for any advice. Make sure that you have implemented what you already know. Otherwise, you will just be avoiding the responsibility of taking control of your life and attempting to shift the blame onto external sources.
Fail now
September 27 2023
Fail as soon as possible.
Nobody is perfect. By that theory we are all imperfect and we make mistakes. But we can attain near perfection. But that only comes through practice and practice includes trying and failing.
So the sooner you start the sooner you start practicing and the sooner you fail. But at the same time the more you practice the better you get. So the sooner you fail, the faster you improve and the further you will go.
So start failing today, get all the mistakes, wrong ideas, wrong approaches and wrong results out of the way. You have less time than you think and even if you had a lot of time your time is better spent in the pursuit of progress and perfection than in fantasising what could have been.
Go again
September 26 2023
Whatever happens. You need to find the strength to go again.
"Today we rest. Cry if you need to.
Do what you need to.
Then tomorrow. We go again."
Andrew. W. Rubia.
It is hard if not impossible to always be on your A-game. It is easier for some than it is for others. I wrote a post a while back on how momentum goes both ways. Your good days can bring more good days and your bad ones breed other bad days.
Sometimes you need to take a breather. Things won't always go to plan. Recently the gratest marathoner of all time Eliud Kipchoge won his 5th Berlin Marathon. But the one before that he finished 6th. Even greatness takes a break and fails to meet its target sometimes.
Treat yourself like a human being. Not a machine. But when the world gets you down. Don't stay there. Do what you need to and get back up. Then go again. The world will eat you up and spit you out if you stay down.
Do not bow
September 25 2023
Do not bow to the pressures and pleasure of this world.
"If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
Daniel 3:17-18
I suffer from a mental condition that has plagued me for a few years now. Every now and then I win the battle with myself and I manage to make some progress. But most of the time I am defeated and I wallow in internal pain and suffering.
Some of my methods of coping are harmful to me and they have negative effects on my present and future life. These unhealthy coping mechanism give me temporary pleasure but leve me with more pain and shame.
To those in a similar battle. Do not succumb to the pressure of unhealthy coping. Fight the temptation. Find healthy ways to eliviate or survive the pain.
I know that God can deliver me from this suffering. He can deliver you too. And I have hope that He will. But even if He doesn't I will not bow to the gods of temporary pleasure and the useless pressure of this world.
I pray that you will choose to do the same.
Life or death
September 24 2023
The difference between life and death is a choice.
There are situations during your time on this side of eternity that may feel like a matter of life or death. In both the dramatic and the literal sense.
I am not talking about physical death. But rather, spiritual death. In the Bible, the first human beings were warned that if they ate from a specific tree, they would face death. They ate the fruit from that tree and continued to live, in the physical sense, for a while. But God separated them from His presence. Separation from God is the death I am talking about.
In order to return to God's presence, one must have faith in Jesus Christ. He says He is the life and that he comes to bring life. He isn't necessarily talking about resurrections because He also says He is the resurrection and the life. This means that he is referring to more than just physical death.
So choose now and choose daily whether you will live or die. Whether you will spend the majority of eternity in endless pain or in paradise. This life on earth is fleeting.
Most of it is insignificant unless you choose to have an eternal impact on your life and the lives of others. The greatest thing you can give or have is not food, education, money, or anything that the world offers. It is the Gospel of Christ.
Deut 30:19 I have set before you life and death... Now choose life.
Eccl 12:13 - Now, all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.
The freedom of limitation
September 23 2023
There is freedom in restraint.
The straight and narrow road is full of depth. Restraint builds freedom. Let me explain.
What is freedom? At first, I thought it was the permission and ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and however you want to do it. But choices have consequences, and those consequences will result in future limitations.
So, you can't be fully free forever. Even if you do it unknowingly, you will be choosing a path in that pursuit of freedom by the actions you do and don't do. It will just be without a purpose.
I believe freedom to be the ability and permission to be who you were meant to be. To attain freedom, you need both a destination and boundaries. You were not made to be everyone or do everything.
Think of limitations as a route on a map. Freedom is having the entire map and being able to navigate it anywhere. You won't achieve anything unless exploration is your goal.
And you won't know how far you are in your journey, whether you can stop or if you can continue. You will have to rely on your feelings, which are not always reliable. The human heart is deceitful and as confused as you are.
Choose the map with a route marked on it. This will give you a purpose. It will let you know what obstacles are worth your effort and what things you should ignore. It will truly fulfil you, challenge you, and develop you.
The only one who can give you that map is the one who made you. Make discovering your purpose your top priority and experience genuine freedom.
A paradise of purpose
September 22 2023
Pure pursuit of purpose produces paradise.
I believe that we will work in heaven, and that is a good thing. Human beings were made to work. We are not designed to constantly consume food and entertainment, lounge on beaches, or be idle all the time. We were created to create, to produce, to process, and we are at our best when we do so.
I am not saying that we shouldn't take a break. Rest is a part of work; it is what enables work to go on. I believe that the world would be better if each of us did what we were made to do, and ultimately, that is how the world will be for those who have faith in Christ.
Have you ever encountered someone who loves what they do? A waiter, a cab driver, a teacher, a cleaner, a receptionist? What about someone who doesn't seem like they enjoy what they are doing? Is there any difference in how they treat you? How do they serve you? How do they make you feel, and what demeanour do they have?
For me, meeting someone who enjoys their work is rare. But it is memorable. I get surprised, and even suspicious because I am not accustomed to it. But the experience ends up being worthwhile for everyone involved.
Strive to be that person who gives that feeling, who serves and lives with a pure pursuit of purpose. It isn't as easy as it sounds, and for most people, it seems impossible. But if there is a chance that one day you can get there. Through change, savings, planning, or any other means. Take that chance. Because you and the world will be better off for it.
Are you okay?
September 21 2023
How do you know if you are okay or not?
The question "How are you?" is a common one but through its overuse has lost its weight and depth.
It is a question that I take seriously most of the time, and my answer isn't usually straightforward. Today, I will explore the most common answer and try to define what it means to be "okay."
To me, being okay means being able to function normally. Normalcy can be seen from two perspectives. There is a personal aspect where you are aware of your own capacity and capability.
You are aware of your abilities and limitations, as well as the methods you use to accomplish tasks and the boundaries within which you operate. So, being okay means functioning within that range
Then there is the expectation of normalcy placed upon you by those around you and society at large. Even though you shouldn't live solely based on expectations, you should also not disregard the expectations and responsibilities you have towards those around you.
You are not okay if you have not been functioning normally for an extended period of time. And if that change in behaviour and operation is not deliberate. Because you have the ability to choose how you operate.
With all of that in mind. How are you? Are you okay? And if not, what will you do about it? Because I can assure you. Doing nothing about it will not improve the situation.
Delay your desires
September 20 2023
You don't have to always get what you want when you want it.
Delayed gratification is a great skill to nurture as it leads to a better life.
The skill is as simple as it sounds but it is not easy to practice. It is the cornerstone of discipline. Another way to phrase it is fighting temptation.
It starts in the morning with fighting the urgent to snooze your alarm or stay in bed. Then you have to choose whether you will waste time scrolling or start your day with something more productive.
Along the day, you will be faced with other opportunities to choose from and other decisions to make. Whether to spend time and money in ways you have not planned.
If you choose to always do what you feel like doing when you feel like doing it, then you relinquish the little control that you have over your life.
You open doors for addictions,wasting money and time and overall wasting your potential. You become a slave to your desires and you give up your goals and dreams.
Choosing to delay short-term pleasure for long-term gain will help you have a stable and predictable life. Actually living the life you plan to or at least getting close to it.
How do you start? One desire at a time. Train your body and mind that they won't always get what they want when they want it.
It will be hard. But the rewards will be worth the pain.
Try to live light
September 19 2023
Don't ignore emotional baggage.
Even though I would like to be, I am not a robot, and you are not one either. You are human; you have emotional capacity. The ability to feel and the impact of those feelings can affect you. Today's post is meant to encourage you to address that area of your life.
Some individuals are more emotional than others. Some people are like rubber balls; anything you say bounces or slides off of them. Some people, including myself, are like thick sponges. I still remember the negative comments and incidents that happened to me when I was 12 years old, and they still sting.
For those like me, you have to acknowledge that you cannot carry all this baggage without facing any repercussions. I have experienced multiple panic attacks and random moments of crying and weeping, and I am dealing with severe depression.
The longer you ignore or carry these things, the worse the effects. The more you live, the more you accumulate. You may get a promising career, a family, friends, a network, or a business. Therefore, if something happens, you have more to lose.
I appeal to you. Look for someone to talk to. A friend, a therapist or a counsellor.Forgive those who have wronged you, face to face if that is possible. Find ways to let go of your baggage. Otherwise, the weight will be too much, and one day it will crush you.
Dear trailblazers
September 18 2023
Being the first one ever comes with its challenges.
Trailblazers usually have the hardest time.
If you think of a forest or jungle, the path less travelled is the path with the thickest bushes, the uneven ground and more insects and animals.
In the same vein, if you are doing something different or new, be ready to be met with opposition. Those around you won't understand it since they have never seen it before. So they are more likely to project their fear of the unknown towards you.
You will also have a fear since you don't have someone who has gone before you to show you the way. As a result, you will make the mistakes and the wrong turns.
But just like in the forest. Once you have reached your destination, the path is clearer. Now there are more people who can follow the same path and reach the goal.
So don't get tired as you forge the new path forward. Your destiny and the destiny of others that will come after depends on it. Focus on the next step forward and keep getting up whenever you fall.
There is a cure
September 17 2023
The world is sick but there is a cure.
You don't need to be a scientist, a doctor, or conduct any research to see how sick the world is. Economies are struggling, natural disasters are raging, and rates of suicide, depression, and other negative mental phenomena are on the rise. But if the world is sick, what does a healthy world look like, and how do we get there?
I won't waste your time. I believe that Jesus Christ is the answer. The world wasn't always sick. It was designed to be perfect, but sickness found its way into the world. The first children to ever be born were two boys, and one killed the other. This is a sign that the sickness is hereditary. The sickness of sin.
Now Gog, the creator of the world, devised a plan to save the world. First, He tried wiping out everyone and starting over. It didn't work. Then, he came up with a system of animal sacrifice. It wasn't a perfect solution. So, he decided to send his son to be the sacrifice. So that all the sins in the world can be dealt with justly. Because He is a God of justice, and sin leads to death. He sent Jesus Christ to die so that you, me, and everyone else can be saved. This sacrifice provides us with a way out and a cure to the sickness.
You may not agree with his methods, and that's okay. It isn't easy. But if it is true that Jesus is the cure then getting it wouldn't be easy. That is why you have to make the difficult choice to believe, choose to trust, and take the chance. You have the opportunity to gain an eternity of paradise and avoid an eternity of suffering. Choose to believe, choose to be free. Choose to be cured.
You can't have it all
September 16 2023
You can't have all the pleasure without the pain.
I am taking a break from the quarter-life crisis response as I wait for more details from the one asking and look for someone to give me insight on parenting.
Today, I am exploring a principle of life. You reap what you sow. If you sow nothing, you get something. And the more you want, the more you need to give.
If you want good grades, you have to invest time in studying. If you want to have good relationships, you need to invest time and resources. If you want to live eternity in paradise, you must resist temptation and be willing to sacrifice your time and resources in obedience.
You need to put in the work to achieve the desired outcomes. As I write this, I am sacrificing entertainment and time. This post serves as a reminder and an encouragement for you to make the difficult decision of sacrificing short-term pleasure in order to achieve long-term gain.
The world we live in has glorified happiness and pleasure to an extreme extent, to the point that we feel like if we are not happy or feeling pleasure, then we are doing something wrong.
Don't retreat from pain and discomfort. Fight through it in pursuit of your goals. Don't run your body into the ground, but also don't be afraid of a little discomfort.
Relationships that last part 2
September 15 2023
How to manage your relationships
Here are some guidelines on differentiating relationships. Be conscious and deliberate about the direction and intention of the relationships around you.
You need to be able to mentally and emotionally categorise the relationships you have and treat them accordingly.
You have professional relationships, familial relationships, friends and a romantic relationship. Life is easier when you are romantically involved with one person at a time.
The closer the category, the more detailed information you share. For professional relationships and acquaintances, it shouldn't usually go beyond sharing biodata and publicly available information such as name, age, location, and career details. For your family and friends, the depth of your relationship depends on each individual connection.
The main point is that the more personal information you share, the deeper the connection becomes. The deeper the connection you form, the stronger the bond. And the stronger the bond, the more painful it will be if the relationship breaks.
Reserve the most intimate parts of your life for those with whom you have agreed to have a lifelong relationship. Anything of a sexual nature should be reserved for the marriage bed and conducted in accordance with God's teachings.
That is how I believe one can still have deep relationships and connections while minimising the pain and damage if the relationships break.
However, it is important to understand that love involves taking risks, whether it is with friends or in a romantic relationship. In order to experience the happiness, peace, and bliss that love can bring, one must be willing to face the possibility of pain. I hope my thoughts have been helpful.
Quarter life crisis- Will my relationships last
September 14 2023
Will your relationships last?
I will first have to admit that I am no expert in relationships. I am in my late twenties and I have only ever been in one romantic relationship. I also spend most of my time alone.
However, I know very well that it is not advisable to live your life in isolation. Good relationships help emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially.
The question I shared yesterday had more details" wondering if the person am dating is the person I'll spend the rest of my life with." This is a major and I believe common concern.
Relationships take a lot of time, effort, energy and other resources to maintain and it would be great if you know whether they are worth the investment.
Unfortunately the truth is that you can never really be sure whether your relationships will be life long. I have had friends who I love that are no longer in my life. Some, it's because I messed up and broke their trust, for most we just faded away when we were no longer sharing the same space (school or other forums).
So does this mean that you shouldn't invest in any relationship because it won't last? I think not.
On the contrary, having the knowledge that it may or may not be lifelong allows you to enjoy every waking moment of every relationship and at the same time put safeguards and boundaries that will ensure that whatever happens to the relationship. It was worthwhile for all involved.
I will mention some of the safeguard and boundaries in tomorrow's post.
Quarter life crisis pt1- Is what I learn in school relevant?
September 13 2023
How to ensure what you learn is relevant.
I received this question form a friend and loyal supporter of my content: Hey...Quarter life crisis...been bugging me and I would like to know your take on it, please don't say trust the process 🤦♀️
She wanted me to focus on education relevance, long-term romantic relationships and being a young parent. I will try and tackle the topics one by one and see if I can get some external help on the parenting topic.
She was specifically worried whether whatever she is studying would matter in the next 5 years.
To ensure the relevance of what you are learning you first have to accept that learning and implementing what you learn is your responsibility.
Papers are relevant but they won't talk for you. Your work is what will speak on your behalf. Society or your learning institution owes you nothing.
The sooner you start implementing what you learn the better. Volunteer or get an internship in your area of learning as soon as possible.
Look for people who work in your specific field and shadow them, ask them questions, see what a day in their work life looks like.
Respectfully stalk people on Linkedin. And if there are any publications, influencers or information channels that speak about your industry. Make sure you are glued to them. You are the one who will make your skills relevant. Not your course.
So my advice would be to take initiative, take responsibility and stay active in implementation of what you learn, if you can.
Unavoidable pain
September 12 2023
There is a pain and growth and progress that is unavoidable.
The biggest lesson I have learned this year is that the best way to make progress is through taking action. Action gives you experience. It helps you test what you know, try what you think you know, and identify what you need to find out.
Accept that whatever venture you pursue will be difficult and will present challenges. But accept that hardship is a part of learning and growing that cannot be skipped. No matter how careful, diligent, and knowledgeable you are in approaching something, you cannot completely eliminate mistakes or hardships.
I am not saying that mastery isn't possible. It is possible to do your work almost perfectly. Surgeons, pilots, and other professionals have little room for mistakes. But even for them, they faced challenges along the way, and they continue to face daily challenges that they must overcome.
So, if you are not resting, recovering, or strategising then it is time to take action and learn along the way. Get up every time you fall, and take note of all your mistakes. Keep trying, keep fighting. Keep moving forward. Give every day and task your best shot.
Shaking things up
September 11 2023
Thinking of moving things around.
So yesterday, I mentioned that I was contemplating making changes to my content, specifically on its delivery.
I want to apologise to you, my amazing readers, for the dip in quality since August and all the typographical errors. Writing daily isn't easy, especially when you are exhausted, sick, or in a different environment.
I would also like to thank all of you for reading, commenting, liking, and reposting. Every interaction with my content encourages me to continue writing. It fuels me, and I am privileged to have an audience.The thought I had was about separating my content.
This year, I have created content on topics such as fitness, mental health, Christianity, relationships, and motivation.
Initially, I had planned to divide my work into different channels, allowing you to choose the channel that is most relevant to you. However, after discussing it with my girlfriend today, she suggested that it would be better to allocate specific days for specific types of content. This way, you will know exactly when to tune in to get the content that you specifically want. I like that idea.
I would also like to focus on one or two social media channels because posting daily everywhere isn't effective and its labour intensive since I currently can't afford social media distribution software or help.
Let me know your thoughts on the proposed changes and which social media platforms you prefer. If I measure engagement, I will be keeping TikTok, Instagram, and LinkedIn for text. I use YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok for videos.
Quantity isn't enough
September 10 2023
Quantity alone isn't enough.
If you would have told me last year that by 10th September I would write 253 posts, one for each day of the year. I would make 100 videos in 100 days and read 40 chapters of a book in 40 days. While providing written commentary for each chapter. I would have believed in my ability to do it but not that it would be done.
To be honest I have written some posts late and the chapter commentary lowered in quality from the last week of August. Part of that was because of my volunteer responsibilities as well as a deterioration in my physical and mental health. But most of it was due to laziness.
I underestimated how much time and effort it would take to write and publish daily. And I overestimated the positive impact it would have on me. I thought if I did something consistently for long enough I would change dramatically. But it is not just about how much you do something, it also matters how you do it. And what I am learning is that it matters whether what you are doing is aligned to your purpose and whether it is offering value to others.
In this regard I had some changes I wanted to make to how I deliver my content. Initially I wanted to change when the year ended but I think it will be better for you and I if I make them sooner. I will talk more about them tomorrow.
Living with purpose
September 9 2023
You are either existing or living on purpose.
“Living on purpose is the only way to really live. Everything else is just existing.” People struggle with their identity, their importance, and their impact. And God's five purposes provide those three things.
To stay on track and remember what matters most, you should create a purpose statement that can serve as the yardstick for your actions.
A purpose statement is: a statement that summarises God's purpose for your life. (in your own words affirm your commitment to God's five purposes for your life.), It points the direction of your life (it tells you what to do and what not to do), It defines success for you (what you believe is important), It clarifies your roles and it expresses your shape.
Some questions to consider are: What will be the centre of my life? What will be the character of my life? What will be the contribution of my life? What will be the communication of my life? And What will be the community of my life?
Set up your life for an eternal impact. To live for the One who created you in the way He intended.
Balancing your life
September 8 2023
You have 5 purposes to balance.
Your life has five purposes: worshipping God (Love the Lord with all your heart), ministry to others (Love your neighbour as yourself), evangelism (going and making disciples), fellowship with other believers, and discipleship.
You will tend to focus on what you feel most passionate about, but it is best to ensure that you are addressing all areas. You can stay on track by joining a small group for accountability, regularly assessing your spiritual well-being, documenting your progress in a journal, and sharing your knowledge with others.
It is all for God's glory. And thankfully, God has designed life in such a way that when we prioritize living for Him, it automatically takes care of our other needs. Seek Him first, and everything else will follow. These purposes should be the star of the show. Not a sideshow.
Becoming a world-class Christian
September 7 2023
You are either world-class or worldly.
You are either a world-class Christian or a worldly Christian. Worldly Christians look to God for what He can do for them. World-class Christians look to what they can do for God.
God gives us the privilege to participate in His kingdom and be involved in His work and mission. He didn't have to. When you consider the vastness of the universe and the expanse of time, you realize that your significance is relatively small. But you have the opportunity to make an eternal impact by participating in His plans.
To think like a world-class Christian, you need to: shift from self-centred thinking to other-centred thinking; shift from local thinking to global thinking; shift from here and now to eternal thinking; shift from thinking of excuses to thinking of creative ways to fulfil your commission. Remember, your limitations can be seen as opportunities for God's breakthrough and your personal growth.
Sharing your life message
September 6 2023
Your life has a message.
“When you become a believer, you also become God's messenger. God wants to speak to the world through you.”
Your life experience has a multitude of sections that you can share. Your life message consists of: your testimony - the story of how you began a relationship with Jesus; your life lessons - the most important lessons God has taught you; your godly passions - the issues God shaped you to care about most; and the Good News - the message of salvation.
Your testimony can be divided into two parts: What life was like before you met Jesus. How you realised you needed Jesus. How you committed your life to Christ. The difference Jesus made in your life.
When it comes to your life lessons, you can ask yourself: What has God taught you from failure, pain, and sorrow? What have you learned through waiting, disappointment, and from your family, church, relationships, small group, and critics?
Your Godly passion may be about a problem, a purpose, a principle, or a group of people. It is something you can't help but love or hate that is connected to God's heart. An injustice or a need in the world that you cannot ignore.
Finally, the good news is the message of how, through faith, you and the world are saved from eternal damnation and the brokenness of this world. That by believing in Jesus in your heart, declaring with your mouth, and living out that belief as instructed in the Bible. One can be saved.
Made for a mission
September 5 2023
You were made to do something specific.
“God is at work in the world, and he wants you to join Him… You have a ministry in the Body of Christ and a mission to the world. Your ministry is your service to believers, and your mission is your service to unbelievers.”
“Your life mission is both shared and specific. One part is a responsibility you share with every other Christian, and the other is an assignment unique to you.” Every Christian is sent to the world. We all have a responsibility to introduce people to God. We have a role to play in God's redemption of the world.
Your mission is important because: It is a continuation of Jesus's mission on earth. It is a wonderful privilege, it is the greatest thing you can do for other people, it has eternal significance, It gives your life meaning and God's timetable is linked to it.
Your mission is not part of your to-do list. It is the list. To fulfil it, you will have to surrender yourself to God's will and do what He commands and guides you to do. Nothing matters more to God, and nothing should matter more to you than reaching “one more for Jesus.”
God's power in your weakness
September 4 2023
When you are weak. God is strong.
Everyone has weaknesses. Everyone is imperfect. Instead of hiding, ignoring, or denying our weaknesses, we should embrace them. Our weaknesses can actually help us draw closer to God, as they reveal our dependence on Him and our need for God.
“A weakness is any limitation that you have no power to change.” Having a weakness does not limit the extent to which you can be used by God. It amplifies it. God sometimes uses our weaknesses as areas of ministry. By helping us use it to relate and connect with other people, it can become the avenue for His message.
Paul gives us a model of utilising our weaknesses: Admit your weaknesses; Be content with your weaknesses; Honestly share your weaknesses (share your failures, your feelings, your frustrations, and your fears); Glory in your weaknesses- your weaknesses are a trophy of grace. Your weaknesses allow God to work through you. They encourage you to rely on God.
Using what God gave you
September 3 2023
God has given you tools.
“What you are is God’s gift to you; what you do with yourself is your gift to God.” Danish proverb.
Make use of what God has given you to the best of your ability. “Discover your shape, learn to accept and enjoy it and then develop it to its fullest potential.”
Be gin by assessing your gifts and abilities. Consider your heart and your personality. Examine your experiences and extract lessons you have learned. Then afterwards accept your design or shape. God does not make mistakes and the best way to reach your potential and fulfil your purpose is by living in line with your shape. Not against it.
Accept God’s sovereignty in the matter and trust that He knows better than you because He does. This can be difficult as you may have to give up dreams, goals or plans. But God’s way really is the best way, even if you don’t understand how or why.
Don’t compare or conform. Both may get you off track. Remember, fulfilling your purpose is an act of worship and gift to God. It is an act of service to others and the best route of fulfilment for yourself. It is a privilege to be included in God’s plan. You might as well take advantage and take part.
Understanding your shape
September 2 2023
You are custom made.
“Only you can be you.” There are no duplicates, photocopies, experiments or mistakes. You and your life was designed and directed before you were born. You and only you can fulfill your purpose. You have a unique role in God’s plan.
“Your abilities are the natural talents you were born with.” Just the way a fish was made o swim and a bird was made to fly. You were made for a specific purpose that is in built in you. All of your abilities come from God. Every ability can be used for God’s glory. What you are able to do, God wants you to do. (Within the confines of His will and command.) And He won’t expect you to do something completely outside of your ability.
Do not that your desire and ability don’t always align and just because it is difficult it doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant for you. We grow our abilities through practice and challenging ourselves to stretch and get better. But there is an uncommon ease in the midst of doing what you were made to do.
God uses people with all types of abilities and personalities. There is no right or wrong. We all fit in His plan even if we think we don’t fit in our plan or the plan of those around us. That is why even though our abilities and personality are inward looking their purpose still comes from the one who created them.
You are shaped by the experiences you have in: Your family, your education, your vocation (jobs and tasks), your spiritual experiences (your most meaningful times with God.), ministry experience( experience serving God) and painful experiences (problems, hurts, thorns and trials.)
Thinking like a servant
September 1 2023
The servants' mindset.
“Service starts in the mind.” God is interested in our attitudes. The direction our heart and mind point to and move towards.
Real servants have the following attitudes: servants think more about others than themselves; servants think like stewards, not owners; servants think about their work, not what others are doing; they base their identity in Christ, and servants think of ministry as an opportunity, not an obligation.
Service goes against self-centeredness, but it is one of the most fulfilling things to do. Servants know that everything belongs to God and that everything good comes from Him. The life they live and the surrounding wealth. They don't compare their work, but instead focus on doing their best at all times.
They recognise that we are uniquely shaped by God and bring different things to the table, so copying others would be an insult to God's creation. They don't wait to be approved, praised, or validated by others in order to feel fulfilled. They derive their validation from God. And they recognise that having an opportunity to take part in God's plan is a privilege, not a burden.
How real servants act
August 31 2023
How to be a real servant.
“We serve God by serving others.” If you want to achieve greatness, then serve. That is not only a reference to scripture, but also a principle of life.
While your ministry and specific purpose are linked to your unique abilities and characteristics. Service is linked to your heart and character. Not all services require extraordinary skill or talent. The simple "small" things are available for everyone to do, regardless of their abilities.
Real servants make themselves available to serve. They pay attention to needs, do their best with what they have, approach every task with equal dedication, remain faithful to their ministry, and they don't call attention for themselves.
To serve, you have to choose to think of others. Think about how you can add value. Take initiative when situations arise and constantly refresh yourself through fellowship with God and other believers. That is where the fuel and motivation to serve will come from.
Shaped for serving God
August 30 2023
God designed you.
All creation was uniquely designed to fulfil a specific purpose, including you. The purpose of a creation exists before the creation.
You are the way you are because that's how you were made to be, to do what God created you to do, as long as those characteristics align with God's will.
You were not mass-produced, you are custom-made by God. He shaped you and the surrounding circumstances to continue to mould you. Even though we live in a broken world, we can still walk on the intended path by loving Him and living in accordance with His will.
And for the things we can't control, He can turn them for our good. Keeping us always on the track of purpose.
Your custom combination of abilities is your s-h-a-p-e. Spiritual gifts, Heart (hopes, dreams, ambitions), Abilities, Personality, and Experience. All of them together reveal the key to discovering God's specific will for your life.
Accepting your assignment
August 29 2023
We all have a role to play in God's plan.
You were made to make a contribution. God has a plan for you, and He has good work specifically for you to do.
You were created to serve God. You were saved to serve God. Furthermore, you are called to serve God and you are commanded to serve God.
Use your gifts, resources, and ability to bring value by helping others. Work as if you are working for God Himself because you are. Ultimately, He should be the driving force for your excellence.
At the end of time, you will be judged on how well you served. The sacrifices you made for others. You were not made to serve yourself, but rather to be of value to others. You will always serve something or someone in your life. Choose to serve God.
It takes time
August 28 2023
Maturity doesn't happen suddenly.
“There are no shortcuts to maturity.” The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is the most important event in the history of existence. Yet even that was not rushed. Jesus still took 30 years to grow up before being in ministry for three years.
In this age of technology, the default is speed and therefore impatience. We mostly want the shortest and fastest route. But when it comes to maturity, you cannot skip steps. You will actually remain at the same step and go over it again and again until you learn the lesson you need to learn. God is concerned about the quality and strength of our growth more than the speed.
Growth takes a long time because human beings are slow learners. We usually have a lot to unlearn. We are afraid to humbly face the truth about ourselves. Growth is often painful and scary, and habits take time to develop.
Don't rush. Believe God is working in your life even when you don't feel it. Keep a notebook or journal of the lessons learned. Be patient with God and with yourself, and finally don't get discouraged.
Defeating Temptation
August 27 2023
Temptation can be defeated.
“There is always a way out.” God will not allow you to face a temptation you cannot overcome. No matter how overwhelming or powerful it feels.
The four biblical keys to defeating temptation are: refocusing your attention on something else, revealing your struggle to a godly friend or support group, resisting the devil and realising your vulnerability.
Resisting a thought doesn't work, as it makes you keep your attention on the thought you are trying to fight. You need to think about something else and take up that attention and focus. The battle is won or lost in the mind. Physically and mentally, change your focus, and replace evil with good. Manage your mental diet, what you think about and what you let in.
Confess your sins to another belief so that you may be healed. Ask for help. Share your struggles with at least one fellow Christian and commit to working towards a solution together.
Resist the devil by accepting God's salvation, then use the word of God as your weapon. We can only fight lies with truth, and truth has one source: God.
Don't think that you are beyond temptation. Be on your guard and take all precautions necessary. It is usually the overconfidence that falls with the worst impact. Everyone needs God's and sometimes other people's help to fight temptation, and avoiding it at all costs is a wise option.
Growing through temptation
August 26 2023
Temptation can be an opportunity for growth.
“Every temptation is an opportunity to do good.” You grow whenever you choose to do good in the face of temptation. Through conquering temptation, you develop the fruits of the Holy Spirit and become more like Christ.
You grow the fruits of the Holy Spirit by going through circumstances that offer you the option to exercise the opposite quality. You become more loving by deciding to love unlovable people. Likewise, you grow in gentleness in times you want to be harsh, grow in faithfulness when you are left alone or abandoned, and have self-control while everything in you wants to go the other way. True joy and peace are experienced in moments of sorrow and turmoil.
Temptation follows a four-step process Satan identifies a desire in you, secondly, he tries to get you to doubt what God has said about the sin, thirdly he offers his lie to replace what God already said, and lastly, you act in disobedience to God's directive.
To overcome temptation, you have to refuse to be intimidated. Being tempted is not a sin, and it only happens to those who wouldn't have sinned in the first place. It is not only an indication of being in the right but an opportunity for growth, for God has promised a way out of all temptations. It is a time to embolden yourself in God's promise and use the opportunity to bring Him glory and grow closer. Recognise your pattern of temptation, be prepared for it, and request God's help.
Transformed by trouble
August 25 2023
There is a purpose to problems and pain. If you choose God.
"God has a purpose behind every problem." God uses problems to draw us closer to Him. "You'll never know that God is all you need until Gid is all you've got."
The bible doesn't guarantee a happy life oral happy ending here on earth. "We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28-29.
God's purpose is for us to become like Jesus Christ. "Every problem is a character building opportunity."
You have to respond in the right way for problems to bear fruit. Remember that God's plan is good. Rejoice and give thanks. Refuse to give up.
Always look for the lesson in every trial you go through.
Transformed by truth
August 24 2023
Replace lies with truth.
"Spiritual growth is the process of replacing lies with truth. This requires revelation and understanding of the word of God through the Spirit of God.
God spoke the world into being. So his Word has power," when He speaks things change."
The word of God is as essential as food. It is the fuel we use to fulfill our purpose. Abiding in God's word includes accepting His authority, assimilate it's truth
By receiving it, reading it, researching it, remembering it and reflection on it. You must then apply it's principles.
How we grow
August 23 2023
God wants you to grow
God wants us to grow up. To grow you have to be intentional. Choose your commitments and decisions wisely.
Both you and God have a role for your growth. It takes work. You will also need to change your default state by changing your habits.
That can only be done by changing your thinking. Have the right attitude and priorities.
Christianity is more than a belief. It is a life so. Growth takes time but it is worth it.
Created to be like Christ
August 22 2023
You were made to be like God. Not a God.
We were created to be like God the father, God the son and God the Holy Spirit. "we are spiritual beings, our spirits are immortal...; we are intellectual "with the ability to "think, reason and solve problems...; we are relational "able to give and receive love; "and we have a moral consciousness- we can discern right from wrong which makes us accountable to God.
You will never become a God but you can become Godly by living out God's traits and values. The Holy Spirit's job is to help you be more like Christ through inhabitation rather than imitation.
So you must cooperate with the Holy Spirit. "Choose to do the right thing in situations and then trust God's spirit to give us His power, love, faith and wisdom to do it.
Move forward immediately. Act first "don't wait to feel powerful or confident." Do the right thing in spite of fears and feelings. This is how you cooperate with the Holy Spirit.
Our three responsibilities in becoming like Christ are: choosing to let go of old ways of acting, changing the way we think and we put on the character of Christ by developing new godly habits.
"God uses His word, people and circumstances to mold us... Becoming like Christ is a long, slow process of growth."
God's word provides the truth, His people provide the support and circumstances provide the environment. "God is much more concerned about your character than your career, because you will take your character into eternity, but not your career."
Protecting your church
August 21 2023
It is your responsibility to protect the unity of the church.
God desires that the church will be and will remain united. Unity is the soul of fellowship and the core of "how God intends for us to experience life together in his church."
To keep unity you have to: Focus on what we have in common, not our differences, Be realistic in your expectations; Choose to encourage rather than criticize; Refuse to listen to gossip; Practice God's method for conflict resolution and Support your pastor and leaders.
As believers we share "one Lord, one body, one purpose, one father, one spirit, one hope, one faith, one baptism and one love. The same salvation, the same future." The differences we have are meant to enrich us, not divide us. Everyone brings something different and therefore everyone is important and of value when it comes to putting the church in it's best position to fulfill its purpose.
Don't expect perfection. But work towards progress. We should always seek to restore what is lost or broken and improve what we have. Address issues with a view of finding a solution and not disheartening those who have made mistakes. Avoid and defuse gossip. It is a cannibalistic poison that destroys and divides.
Follow God's formula for conflict resolution, start with having a one on one with the person, if that doesn't work go with one or two witnesses, if it doesn't work, take it to the whole church and if that doesn't work treat them like an unbeliever. And finally support your pastors and leaders. If they do well you do well too and so does the universal church of God.
Restoring Broken Fellowship
August 20 2023
Do your best to restore broken fellowship.
" Paul taught that our ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity," You should make peace, when you can. Not only love peace but putting that love into action to create peace.
Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict or appeasement. The steps to restoring relationships are: talk to God before talking to the person; always take initiative; sympathise with their feelings; confess your part of the conflict; attack the problem, not the person; cooperate as much as possible; emphasise reconciliation and not resolution.
Pray about all of your relationships. Don't expect other people to meet needs that only God can fulfill. Only He can meet all your needs fully. Always make the first move in restoration whether you are the offender or the offended. Act quickly, time doesn't heal "it causes hurt to fester."
Listen first before speaking. Pay close attention to the "feelings, not the facts. Begin with sympathy, not solutions." Understanding isn't equal to agreeing. Absorb other people's anger, legitimate or not as Jesus also suffered unfounded anger for you.
Admit your own mistakes or sin. You may need a third frustrated party to point out your blind spots. " Accept responsibility for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Use kind, respectful words, not sarcasm or offensive ones because if you do the latter you will be met by defensiveness and the matter will not be resolved.
Peace has a price tag, often it costs our pride and self-centeredness. "God expects unity, not uniformity, and we can walk arm in arm without seeing eye to eye. Focus on fixing the relationship, not the problem.
Cultivating community
August 19 2023
Healthy communities produce healthy people.
"Community requires commitment. It takes both God's power and our effort to produce a loving Christian community."
Unfortunately, most of us grew up in families with poor relations. Leaving us without the skills and practice required to create and maintain healthy relationships.
Luckily the Bible gives us advice on this matter. Cultivating community takes honesty, humility, courtesy (respect), confidentiality and frequency.
It is not loving to remain silent when others are harming themselves or harming others through sinful patterns. Speaking the truth in love can save a life. Ignoring problems poisons the group and the individual. "The tunnel of conflict is the passageway to intimacy."
Pride builds walls, humility builds bridges. "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." Humility is cultivated by "admitting your weakness, being patient with others weaknesses, being open to correction and pointing the spotlight on others." To be humble, think of others more than yourself. Prioritise other people.
Courtesy is "respecting our differences, being considerate of each other's feelings and being patient with people who irritate us."
Knowing someone's history will make it easier to be courteous. Confidentiality happens when what is said in the group stays in the group and is dealt within the group.
Finally, you must have frequent, regular contact with your group to build genuine fellowship.
Experiencing life together
August 18 2023
We were made for fellowship.
"Life is meant to be shared." The bible calls sharing life "fellowship". Real fellowship includes "unselfish loving, honest sharing, practical serving, sacrificial giving, sympathetic comforting and all other "one another" commands in the Bible."
The smaller the group the easier it is to have meaningful intimate relationships. Jesus himself chose twelve. In real fellowship people experience authenticity, mutuality, sympathy and mercy.
Authenticity happens when people freely and honestly shar their hurts, feelings, failures, doubts, fears and weaknesses. And ask for prayer. Mutuality is the "art of giving and receiving." depending on each other. Sympathy is not pity or fixing. It is "sharing the pain of other."Showing mercy is giving others the same grace you would desire from others when you make mistakes.
Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
A place to belong
August 17 2023
We all need a place to belong and God has a place for you.
"We are created for community, fashioned for fellowship, and formed for a family, and none of us can fulfill God's purpose by ourselves."
Your relationship to God is personal but it shouldn't be private. You are connected to God's family for eternity. You are a "vital organ of a living body." This is a part of your identity and purpose. An organ outside of the body cannot fulfil its intended purpose. "You discover your role in life through your relationship with others."
When Jesus was about to be crucified he took the time to pray for all believers to be one, to love each other and be in unity. That highlights the importance of fellowship and togetherness with other believers.
A church family: identifies you as a genuine believer, moves you out of self-centred isolation and helps you develop spiritual muscle. The Body of Christ also needs you as the gifts you were created with were designed to function in fellowship.
By joining a church family you will share in Christ's mission in the world and it will be easier to avoid and recover from backsliding.
"Jesus said, "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." We are expected to love others like Jesus loves us. We are commanded to pray for one another, encourage, admonish, greet, serve, teach, accept, honour, forgive and to be devoted to one another. To submit to each other and bear each other's burdens.
"God wants you to love real people, not ideal people." There is no perfect church.
What matters most
August 16 2023
What is the most important thing?
It is in loving that we are more like God. "Love is the foundation of every command that He has given us. The whole law can be summed up in this one command: 'Love others as you love yourself.'"
God wants us to love everyone, especially those in the family of believers. This is because he "wants His family to be known for its love, more than anything else.
Love cannot be learned in isolation. You have to be around others and in that fellowship you learn that: the best use of life is love, the best expression of love is time and the best time to love is now."
Love is the most important thing in your life. Life without love is worthless. "Relationships are what life is all about. 4 commandments deal with our relationship to God, the other 6 deal with our relationship with people." Jesus summarised the greatest commandments as "love God and love people." You love God through worship, giving yourself as a living sacrifice.
Love is eternal, it leaves a legacy. We were made to be loved and to love and we will spend eternity doing so. "We will be evaluated on our love in heaven. How we treat others, not our achievements.
The more important something is the more time you give it. Time cannot be increased or renewed. Once spent it is gone. That is why it is the ultimate sacrifice and the greatest gift. Love is spelt"T-I-M-E.""Love is also giving up- yielding preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy or time for the benefit of someone else."
Express love now because tomorrow isn't guaranteed.
Formed for God's family
August 15 2023
You can be God's family member.
"God wants a family, and he created you to be part of it. This is God's second purpose for your life...The entire bible is the story of God building a family who will love Him, honour Him, and reign with Him forever."
God treasures relationships. He identifies himself as the Father, Son and Spirit, a pattern of relational harmony. "God didn't need a family, he desired one" so He made us. We are all God's creation but we are not all His children. To be His child you have to be born into His family by being born again. The condition to be born again is faith in Christ Jesus.
Your spiritual family "will last forever and eventually be in perfect unity with each other and our father." Away from the brokeness and imperfection of our earthly family and even our earthly experience of our spiritual family.
When you are born again into God's family you receive "the family name, the family likeness, family privileges, family intimate access and the family inheritance."
As part of the family fortune we receive "the riches of His grace...kindness, patience, glory, wisdom, power and mercy here on earth. In eternity we "will get to be with God forever, we will be completely changed to be like Christ, we will be freed from all pain, death and suffering, we will be rewarded and reassigned positions of service and we will get to share in Christ's glory."
Our eternal inheritance is "priceless, pure, permanent and protected."
When God seems distant
August 14 2023
Faith over feelings.
"God is real, no matter how you feel." Relationships are usually tested and stretched in times of difficulty and separation. The same is true about your relationship with God. The only difference is that God will never leave you nor forsake you but he can sometimes hide his face from you.
The feeling of distance between you and God is usually a time for maturity and growth. In order to make progress you have to mature and grow.
Like a child leaving the house of a parent or going to school for the first day. Both parties are pained but it is not a moment of abandonment but rather a necessary requirement for growth and development of the child.
The feeling of separation can also be a result of sin. "We grieve God's spirit and quench our fellowship with Him by disobedience, conflict with others, busyness, friendship with the world, and other sins." God will never force Himself on us. If we push Him away He will sometimes stand aside. Not walk away but stay close waiting for you to come back to Him.
Emotions are part of our relationship with God but they are not the centerpiece. Love has a honeymoon phase where feelings are in the driving seat. But if the relationship lasts it will reach a stage where trust, commitment and sacrifice take over. "Faith, not feelings, please God."
So what do you do during the period of "separation." You follow Job's example: tell God exactly how you feel, focus on who God is- His unchanging character, trust God to keep His promises and remember what God has already done for you- sending His son on earth to die for your salvation.
Worship that pleases God
August 13 2023
The focus of worship is God, not you.
"God wants all of you. God doesn't want a part of your life. He asks for all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strengths." He isn't interested in leftovers.
The kind of worship that pleases God is; accurate authentic, thoughtful and practical. Worship must be based on who God is not who we think or want Him to be and we find out who He is in the bible.
"Worship must be genuine." Mean what you say. Don't pretend, hide or say what is appropriate. Say and do what is rue. " The Lord looks at the heart." There are different ways of worshipping God because we were all created different.
Don't conform to methods that are not appropriate to you just to fit in. But at the same time remember that it is not about you comfort or feelings but rather finding the way that represents your love and sacrifice to God.
"Love with all your mind." Don't be thoughtless. Engage your mind during worship, really think about what you are doing, who God is and what that means. This requires intentionality and effort. Be specific about your praise, love and adoration.
Being practical about worship requires you to offer your tangibles. Your body, your time and your resources. Offer them up as a living sacrifice. Worship at a cost for the sake of God's glory.
The things of this world are not yours, you are a steward and they will all pass away together with your body. Therefore, giving them to God is the most useful way to use them.
Developing your friendship with God
August 12 2023
Features of a relationship with God.
Like any friendship you have to work, be intentional and sacrifice your time and energy in order to build it. Here are some building blocks for a solid friendship with God.
Complete honesty. God does not require perfection when it comes to friendship but rather honesty and authenticity. In the Bible the friends of God were honest with Him even when it was uncomfortable or if it seemed like a contradiction to His command. God allowed questions, complaints, accusations, challenges, second-guessing and even arguments.
Complete obedience. Do what God tells you to do even if you don't understand and agree. This will end up building trust with every step of obedience. God is your friend but He is still your God and father. "He knows what is best for us." Obedience is also a sign of gratitude for all He has done and will do.
Value what God values. Friends care what is important to their friends. With time and practice your heart should start taking the shape of God's. The most important thing to God is the redemption of His people. " Friends of God tell their friends about God."
Desire friendship with God more than anything else. Make God your first priority in every aspect of life. The bible tells us to seek Him first and Jesus said the most important commandment starts with loving God with every part of you. There are things you need to give up and there are habits and skills you need to develop.
Becoming best friends with God
August 11 2023
You can be God's friend.
"God wants to be your best friend." Jesus Christ gave us direct access to God when He paid for your sins on the cross. We no longer need priests or rituals, we can approach God directly at anytime.
In this chapter the author highlights two secrets of becoming a best friend with God. Constant conversation and continual meditation. Just like human relationships the more you converse and share, the closer you become. The less structure and more freedom in conversations the better.
You don't need to be alone or in private when you spend time with God. You can do it in public taking to God throughout your daily activities. Again like human relationships there are times for private intimate conversations while other times for casual conversation.
"The key to friendship with God ... is not changing what you do but changing your attitude toward what you do." Pray short prayers, verses and phrases throughout your day. It its a skill and habit you can develop. Train and force yourself so that it ends up becoming natural.
"Your goal is not a feeling, but a continual awareness of the reality that God is always present."
Think about God's word throughout your day. This is meditation. You need the bible to know God because it contains what He says. His heart, mind and plans are all in His word. You can not know Him without it.
"Meditation is simply focused thinking... if you know how to worry, you know how to meditate."
The heart of worship
August 10 2023
Surrender your life to God.
"The heart of worship is surrender." We are taught today to win everything. To overcome and to win. But with God surrender is the right and proper response. To give ourselves to Him out of love "because He first loved us."
God wants your whole life and there are three barriers to surrender. Trusting God, admitting our limitations and what it means to surrender.
You cannot surrender to God without trusting Him and you can't trust Him if you don't know Him. When you start the journey of knowing Him you will realise that He loves you greatly and deeply. The greatest example and proof is giving His only son, Jesus Christ, to die for us.
Secondly you need to admit that you do not have complete control of your life. Human beings and by extension you are not the center of the universe. God is. And that is not easy to accept in this self-centered society. Surrender is an active moment by moment decision and action.
The paradox of surrender is that the more we do it the more we become and express our true self. Because we connect with our creator and we start living the way we were designed to.
However, that doesn't mean it is natural. You and the world are broken and thus you have been trained to go against God all your life. Therefore the obedience required in surrender will be difficult and may not make sense.
Once you surrender, you experience peace, freedom and God's power in your life. Everyone eventually surrenders to something. So you might as well surrender to God. He is the best option and He is the only option because nothing else works.
What makes God smile?
August 9 2023
Make God smile.
“The smile of God is the goal of your life. Since pleasing God is the first purpose of your life, your most important task is to discover how to do that.”
There are 5 acts of worship that make God smile. When we love Him supremely, When we trust Him completely, When we obey Him wholeheartedly, When we praise and thank Him and When we use our abilities in accordance with His will.
God wants a relationship with you. “God made you to love, and He longs for you to love Him back.” The greatest commandment is to love God with all parts of you and your life.
“Trusting God completely means having faith that he knows what is best for your life.” You won't understand them, and neither will anyone else around you. But because you know God knows best, that He loves you and nothing he tells you to do would be malicious, you do what he says and take the risk of looking crazy.
“ Your faith makes God happy.”
Don't pick and choose what to obey. Obey all of it as soon as instructed. “Partial obedience is disobedience.” Express your adoration and gratitude to God. “ We are told to offer God the sacrifice of praising and thanksgiving. We praise God for who he is, and thank God for what He has done.”
God is pleased with every activity of your life, spiritual or not. As long as it is in accordance with His will because we are made to be active, designed to live and be fruitful in every area of our life.
Planned for God's pleasure
August 8 2023
You were made to please God. Not yourself.
“God did not need to create you, but He chose to create you for His own enjoyment. You exist for His benefit, his glory, his purpose, and his delight.”
Just like you, God has emotions, He wants you to enjoy life but do so in a manner that honours and pleases Him by carrying out what you were created to do. “Bringing pleasure to God is called worship…if we fail to worship God, we always find a substitute.” Because it is wired in us. It is what we were made to do.
“Worship is a lifestyle.” Music is a part of worship, but not all worship has music. Music is just a means of worship.
“We worship for God's benefit…our goal is to bring pleasure to God, not ourselves.” So don't always seek to get something out of it. It's not about you. You worship both in church and out of church.
Everything in your life is a form of worship. Your actions, thoughts, and habits. They are all directed towards something, and God's intention and your purpose is that it is directed to Him. That is what you, and all creation, were all made to do.
“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
Do everything with God in mind. As if you were doing it for Him. Because you are. You need to constantly remind yourself who is in charge, it is not your boss, government, or even yourself. It is God. In the end, all you do will be evaluated. You will be held to account by God.
Psalm 149:4a For the Lord takes delight in his people.
The reason for everything
August 7 2023
Everyone and everything exists for God.
“The ultimate goal of the universe is to show the glory of God. It is the reason everything exists. Including you.”
We are commanded to recognize, honour, declare, praise, reflect and live for God's glory because He deserves it. The glory of God is who God is. “The essence of His nature, the weight of His importance, the radiance of His splendour, the demonstration of His power and the atmosphere of His presence.”
We honour and give glory to God by fulfilling our purpose which is 5 -fold: To worship God, to love other believers, to become like Christ, to serve others with our gifts and to tell other people about God.
Worshipping God is “having a lifestyle of enjoying God, and giving ourselves to be used for His purpose.” Putting Him at the centre of everything we do and always asking “What would God want me to do?” In every moment of our lives.
Jesus said that loving other believers would be the sign His disciples would show to unbelievers. Become like Jesus in the way you think, feel and act. We were all uniquely designed with talents, gifts, skills, and abilities to serve and benefit others. Not ourselves. Share the truth of God's love and purpose with others.
Change your life to live for God's glory. Real life begins by believing in Jesus Christ. Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. Then do the will of God. By this, you will be saved and enter the kingdom of heaven.
Follow my link in my bio or the link accompanying this post for more info on living in Christ.
#purposedrivenlife #existence #salvation #faith #rubiareads
Life is a temporary assignment
August 6 2023
This world cannot satisfy you because it's not your home.
“To make the best use of your life, you must never forget two truths: First, compared with eternity, life is extremely brief. Second, earth is only a temporary residence.”
Seek to fulfil God's will rather than the world's. We are told that if we seek God's kingdom first, everything else we need will follow. Not the other way around.
We are fish out of water. We were designed for eternity with God. That is why there are desires that this world can never satisfy. It is not our home & therefore not sufficient. Don't spend your life trying to fit into a place you were not meant to be.
“Faithfulness to God does not guarantee success in a career or even in ministry.” Paul, Silas, and John the Baptist were faithful but were all imprisoned. John the Baptist was beheaded. Jesus was crucified and abandoned by those He served and loved.
“Millions of people have been martyred, lost everything or come to the end of life with nothing to show. But the end of life is not the end!”
God associates Himself with the wealthy and the poor, the illiterate and the educated, the upright citizen and the criminal, the loved and the hated, the accepted and the outcast. He does not use this world's standard to carry out His will because His will is tied to life beyond the one we live here on earth. “
At death, you won't leave home-you'll go home.”
2nd Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Seeing life from God's view
August 5 2023
Life on earth is the womb of eternity.
“Your perspective will influence how you invest your time, spend your money, use your talents, and value your relationships.”
The Bible offers three metaphors; Life is a test, a trust, and temporary. This chapter will cover the first two. First, life is a test: Tests both reveal and develop character. “You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism and even senseless tragedies.
“When you understand that life is a test, you realise that nothing is insignificant...The good news is that God wants you to pass the tests, so he never allows the tests you face to be greater than the grace He gives you to handle them.”
In the end, we will receive a reward for the tests we pass, and God always provides a path of redemption for the tests we fail. His arms remain open, and His mercy is new every morning.
Life is a trust: “Our time on earth, energy, intelligence, opportunity, relationships, and resources are all gifts from God that He has entrusted to our care and management.” We are stewards because He owns everything. If you are a good steward you will receive God's affirmation for a job well done, a promotion through greater responsibility in eternity and a celebration to share in your master's happiness
Luke 16:10 Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Made to last forever
August 4 2023
Life on earth is the womb of eternity.
“You will spend more time on the other side of death -in eternity-than you will here.” Our bodies are mortal, but our spirits are immortal. Made to last forever.
Your existence is spiritual. In the same way, birth was your transition from your mother's womb to living independently, it is the same way death will be your transition to the next stage of life. And just like what happens in the womb matters, so is the effect of how you live here.
“If you learn to love and trust God's son, Jesus, you will be invited to spend the rest of eternity with him. On the other hand, if you reject his love, forgiveness and salvation, you will spend all eternity apart from God, forever.”
You have your choice on how you will spend eternity, and that choice is made every day. Starting with the decision to believe and trust in Jesus Christ. To live in accordance with his instructions and the day-to-day choices that come as a result.
Having an eternal perspective is how we should all live. It will reduce the pressure and stress related to the things of this world by changing what we value and prioritise.
So in light of eternity. What one thing should you stop doing and what one thing should you start? For me, I should stop sinning and stressing about worldly things and focus more on my relationship with God and living a life that is faithful to Him. 1st John 2:17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.
What drives your life?
August 3 2023
What is driving you and where is it taking you to?
This chapter tackled our motivations. What moves you forward? What keeps you going? And if you keep following that motivation. Where will you end up?
The following are some of what motivates us:
Guilt: Running from regrets and hiding from shame. Know that God is a specialist in giving people a fresh start and transforming them for His purpose.
Resentment and anger: Holding on to hurts. One either locks up internally or blows up externally. Those who hurt you in the past cannot continue to do so unless you hold on to the pain.
Fear: This makes you play safe, avoid risks and maintain the status quo. This can be countered by loving God and having faith in Him.
Materialism: The desire to acquire more. "Self-worth and net worth are not the same. Your value is not determined by your valuables.Real security can only be found in that which can never be taken from you- Your relationship with God.
The need for approval: Controlled by expectations. God's expectations are unchanging and attainable.
On the contrary, the author encourages us to have a purpose-driven life and argues that it will; give us meaning, simplify your life, focus your life, motivate your life and prepare you for eternity. Stressing that “Living to create an earthly legacy is a short-sighted goal. A wiser use of time is to build an eternal legacy”.
Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
You are not an accident
August 2 2023
You exist to serve God's purpose. Not your own.
I have had moments in my life where I wished that I was never born. Other moments when I wished that I could stop living. Where the weight of the world was too much to bear. When I couldn't make sense of why I was here, alive, existing.
Today's chapter reminded me of those moments, and it reminded me of how I got out of that moment. I remember at that time of anguish, I decided to record a pep talk to myself, reminding me that I didn't give birth to myself and I didn't create myself. I was made for a reason and as long as I am alive, that reason remains unfinished. So I might as well figure it out and get it done with as soon as possible if I wanted to leave this world. The voice recording was less well-structured than how I have portrayed it, but you get the point.
God made you to be you, just the way you are. With all the “mistakes” that you may have, all the things you have been through. None of those things can alter or remove the perfect purpose of your existence. As the author says, “God's purpose took into account human error, even sin.”
So your life still has meaning, it still has a significant purpose and nothing, nobody can or will change that. You are not an accident. You are an intentional and valuable addition to this world. You have a use; you have a purpose, and it can only be found by going to the one who put you here
"Isaiah 44:2a (NIV) This is what the Lord says he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you
It's not about you
August 1 2023
You exist to serve God's purpose. Not your own.
You do not exist to fulfil your own dreams and satisfy your own desires. That is the lesson I have learnt from chapter one of “The Purpose-driven Life.”
God made you to fulfil His purpose for your life. Your purpose was already determined before you were born. You can choose your job and your relationships, but you cannot choose your purpose. That is something that God planned, and you play a part in his bigger picture for the world that he also planned before your existence.
That may be a bitter pill to swallow, but it is the reality of life. Thankfully, God is good, and he loves you. But that doesn't mean that your purpose will be easy and comfortable. It will just be custom-made for you.
So the first step to knowing your purpose is not looking inward at yourself, but outward to your creator. Because the best person to ask about the purpose of a creation or invention is the one who made it. Therefore, the best person to ask about your purpose is God.
The scripture for today's chapter is Colossians:1:16 "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him."
My favourite quote from the chapter is "You could reach your personal goals, become a raving success by the world's standards, and still miss the purposes for which God created you."
Let's get practical
July 31 2023
It's time to practice what I preach.
Since the year begun, I have been writing a lot of theoretical hypotheses. A lot of advice and giving my opinion on matters to do with how to get the best out of life and how to work in the most efficient way. I think it is now time to put all those words into practice.
A point that I have repeated is the point on having goals and having purpose. I have said that all your actions should be directed in accordance with your goals. Goals help you decide what to do, and how to do it, by bringing in why you are doing what you do.
So for the next 40 days I will be reading a book called "The Purpose driven life” by Rick Warren. I bought this book in 2019, but I have never finished it. I will be reading a chapter a day and sharing my thoughts in the format of my daily articles.
If you have read the book, you can take a 40-day break from my content or read one of the other 200 articles I have written. I am doing this so that I can have direction, have a vision and have a central point to where all my other decisions come from.
I will also be taking other online tests and exercises that are connected to purpose and vision, and hopefully at the end I will have a vision board and a clear purpose and direction for my life. And maybe by sharing my experience, I can help you with your vision as well.
Create your path (Part 3)
July 30 2023
Find the way. Follow the way and share the way.
This is the last part of the analogy, where I explain what I mean and what I have been driving at. The more astute among you may have already realised what I was strongly hinting about.
The forest in my analogy is life. The tools, distance, thickness of the bushes, animals and natural hindrances are the natural difficulties and challenges of life. Some are easier than others, but it is different for everyone.
No two paths are the same because we have different tools, different ways of traversing the forest and different senses of direction. This now points to Jesus, who is the son of God, who came down to earth to show everyone the way. But his way is, of course, straight, difficult and narrow.
The settlers are the nay-sayers, discouragers, people who are conformists and people who focus their life on getting earthly wealth, treasure, and status without ever going to the top of the mountain.
Getting to the top of the mountain is the last judgement of the last day of humankind whereby God will gauge whether you have come though the right way and thus whether you have eternal life.
So in the end my encouragement is to not settle for the riches, status, and accomplishments of this world. But spend your time and energy finding the way of Jesus Christ, following the way of Jesus Christ, and telling others about the way of Jesus Christ.
Thank you for reading and I wish you all the best on your journey of life. I may or may not launch something that might help you on this journey,
Create your path (Part 2)
July 29 2023
Only one way to the top.
We continue with yesterday's analogy of the journey through the forest towards the mountain. Today we add a bit more detail to those we meet on the journey, the right path to the mountain and what we get in the end.
As mentioned yesterday, you will be in contact with other people as you make your way through the mountain. Some will be forging their own path, and you can choose to follow them or not.
Some will have cleared their own space in the forest and they will tempt you to stay. Claiming that there is nothing on top of the mountain. That it is all a myth. These are the people who tempt you to settle for less. Settle for comfort and conformity.
But there is a story that you hear. A story that there was once a person who was sent from the top of the mountain. He was born at the edge, just like everyone else. His purpose was to help everyone by showing the true way to get to the top. He is the son of God and out of love He saw how people were getting lost and giving up so e took it upon himself to show the way.
This person made a path and that is the only path, that if followed will get you to the top. And once you get to the top all who have followed the path will e given safe passage to the sky where we were all mean to be. And all who did not follow this path will not enter the eternal home of all making where we will be in fellowship with God and one another forever.
Tomorrow will be the final chapter of this analogy. Thank you for reading.
Create your path (Part 1)
July 28 2023
Let's imagine.
I like analogies. I have come up with some in my lifetime. Some make more sense and some are less...reasonable. I will share one today on the journey of life.
Let's imagine we are all placed on the edge of a forest at the beginning of our lives. In the middle of that forest is a mountain and at the top of that mountain is God waiting for you. I told you my stories could get weird.
So, we don't all have the same path to the mountain. For some of us some of the bushes, trees and vegetation is cleared out. For other people, it is thick and overgrown. Some people start with tools in their hands that clear their path. Others start with nothing. These are the unique privileges, advantages and disadvantages of life.
The goal for everyone is to meet God at the top of the mountain. As you make your journey, you can follow other people. The path is clear because you are behind them but the forest is thick so if you don't keep sight of the mountain you may be led astray.
On the way, you will encounter people. Some have set up camp given up on the journey and decided to make settlements in the forest. You will also meet wild animals, holes, and dead ends where the bush is too thick. So at some point, you may have to branch off as you make your way...
It sounds like a children's story, doesn't it? Stay tuned for part two tomorrow.
Enough
July 27 2023
There is a place where you will always be enough.
The toil, the targets, the tiers. The struggle, the stress, the strain. The pushing the, the perseverance, the pain. When will they be enough?
It has been said that young people shouldn't be stressed out. Several people in my age group have experienced severe emotional distress, including me. I have known people who have given up.
Sometimes the pressures of this world become too much. You cry until you have no more tears. Then you feel guilty because you deem your troubles not tough enough to cry about. I have struggled with that. Constantly pained by my failed potential. Paralysed by depression.
But as a friend of mine used to say. "I thank God for God." Even if I never reach my goals, fulfil my dreams, and attain my achievements. I Will always be loved and enough in His eyes.
Yes, I can honour him and glorify him by living out my calling. I can act on the dreams and ideas he has given me and maximise my gifts, talents, resources, and abilities. But I don't do it to earn his acceptance or love. I do it out of love and acceptance.
So know that there is somewhere you will always be accepted and always be enough. No matter your failures, weaknesses or achievements. And that is in the arms of your heavenly father, your creator. Put your faith in His Son and live for His glory.
The power of constraints
July 26 2023
Minimizing choices maximizes focus.
I have been asked how I have managed to write for more than 100 days. And the one who asked looked at me with eager anticipation, waiting for a profound secret I would reveal. All I could say it is “I just write”. But there is a bit more to that.
I have realised that the most effective way to turn plans into action is by giving yourself constraints and sticking to them. At the beginning of the year, I threw myself into the deep end. I devoted myself to writing daily for a year. At the time, I had no idea what and how, but I had at least given myself a target and a deadline. Deadlines are the first constraint.
I then stumbled upon a website called Typeshare that allowed me to write on one platform and distribute to many for free. (It no longer allows me to do so). But it limited my words to around 250. That is another constraint on how far I can go.
After exhausting all the ideas I had written down throughout the years I decided that each post would have at least one idea in it. That is another constraint. Then along the way, I came up with a posting system. I settled on colours, fonts, and formats for my images and videos. This made me use less time each day. That was the final constraint.
When you have the freedom to do anything at any time, anyhow, you will end up doing nothing. Start with a simple goal. Less choice= more action. Focus on completion rather than perfection. And keep tweaking until you get it right. I still have a long way to go, but I have come a long way too. Thanks to constraints.
Introspection (Part 2)
July 25 2023
I want to diversify.
Welcome to episode two of sharing my thoughts. To be honest, that is what I have been doing the whole year, but it is less orderly and more raw. Today I share some decisions I have made.
I will take a break from daily short videos. I wanted to make 100, and I have made more than 100. So for now I will focus more on longer videos. I owe myself and you 7 long-form videos, and I will make them. Once I know what I am making them about.
I will also diversify my content. If you haven't noticed, I think a lot. God has blessed me with a mind full of ideas about everything and everything. From life, productivity, technology, football, food, music, gaming, entertainment, writing, Christianity, politics and business. Just to name a few.
Of course, the amount that I think about all those things isn't equal. However, the point is that I have way more to offer the world and I believe that God gave me ideas to try them. As I mentioned before in other posts, I want to die empty. So, one by one, I want to share more of my thoughts in the most organised and valuable way possible.
My first focus will be on football and Christianity, and you'll be the first to know when I've created official content. Thank you for reading and cheers on the journey ahead.
Introspection (Part 1)
July 24 2023
I am thinking of changing up my content.
This question has refused to leave my head lately. I semi-completed my 100-day challenge. I posted videos and wrote posts for 100 days plus and at the end, I felt nothing but emptiness.
I don't know what I was supposed to feel, but I thought I would feel something. However, now I know what I need to work on more and what I need to do first. From day 1 of 100, I had an idea of what I would do on day 100. This would address life's core. The reason for existence. Going back to something that used to be natural for me. Writing about God.
I have mentioned God and Christianity a few times in my writing. But I want to address it more directly, logically and analytically. I won't "rewrite the bible" as my friend says. But I want to address some critical questions. Questions from me and the public about Christianity.
I am blessed with the gift of faith, and I intend to use it. But I will also address another part of my core which is my purpose. I will read a book on the topic as well. I am not sure about my content. Whether I will separate my Christian commentary on life with my more general advice. I know it will be more difficult to write as it needs more research. But I will keep writing daily. For the rest of the year. If God allows. That was the deal I made with you and myself.
If you have any opinions on what I should do or questions about Christianity, let me know. I can't promise to answer all of them fully, but I will try. Thank you for reading. Subscribe and watch me on YouTube for more insight into how I plan to spend the next 100+ days.
The 3 P's of propulsion
July 23 2023
Running from pain or pursuing pleasure. Will never satisfy.
Today's article was inspired by a sermon from Rev Charles Opiyo. There are three motivators for action. I call them the 3 P's of propulsion. Pain, pleasure and purpose.
You can be motivated to get away from pain. This can be distilled down to things such as avoiding conflict, escaping poverty and doing the opposite of what affected you negatively growing up such as abuse or a strained relationship between parents. It can be extreme. If you have nothing specific to run towards you won't ever stop running. You are always looking back at your negative circumstances and the reasons why you are not who you think you should be.
A pursuit of pleasure can also be an escape from pain, especially when addictions come into play. One tries to escape life's difficulties and tragedies with pleasures that never satisfy. You never achieve lasting pleasure and you keep desiring more. The running never stops.
Purpose is what brings all these pursuits together by setting a specific goal and direction to be achieved. It is usually a result of our internal configuration and the environmental situations we have been exposed to.
We know that if you always run looking back you are destined to fall or hurt yourself. If you are running after something that is always moving. You will never get to it. But keeping your eye on the path and being as clear as possible will enable you to make your baggage matter less and your destiny as well as the lives of those you serve on the way, matter more.
While you wait
July 22 2023
The world will move with or without you.
Have you ever had a moment in class where the teacher asked a question? You know what the answer is but you don't raise your hand. Then someone else raises their hand and says the answer you had in your head and gets it right.
Maybe it's my narcissism cropping up again but when that happens I am not very pleased I feel guilty for not taking the opportunity. What about ideas? Have you ever had an idea and seen someone implement it?
The point I am trying to make is that in most cases if you don't do it, someone else will. This is in relation to your ideas, gifts and talents. In the bible parable of the talents the one who didn't use their talent had it taken away and it was given to someone who already had ten.
I believe God uses human beings to solve world problems. We are privileged to have the opportunity to take part in His plan. But if we don't take up that responsibility he will give it to someone else because His will must prevail.
There are people less qualified, less privileged, and less prepared doing things you are afraid of or delay doing. And the difference between them and you is action.
Lessons from Faith Kipyegon
July 21 2023
Consistent, measured, guided action, pays off.
Today's story is inspired by Kenyan athlete Faith Kipyegon. Today she broke the world record for 1 mile. That is the third world record she has broken in 3 months. Which to me sounds like fiction.
After letting what she had done settle down in my mind I decided to do some research about her. I wanted to see if I could figure out how one person could do such a superhuman achievement. And if I could learn anything from it.
The things that stood out to me were hard work, discipline, sacrifice, constant analysis, dedication, persistence and vision.
What I have learned from her story is that she works hard when it is time to work. Running for an hour to an hour and a half in the morning then running for 10km in the evening during the running season.
She sacrifices time with her family to stay at the training camp 6 days a week. But when she is at home she spends all the time she can with her daughter and watching movies. And she is very clear about her targets and impact. She recovered from gaining 20kgs and not running to win an Olympic gold medal. She planned on breaking the 1500m record a year before. And she got what she planned plus some bonuses.
So take the lessons you can from her story. Understand yourself, be ready to sacrifice for success, have clear goals and as her friend and mentor Eliud Kichoge said "If you don't dare to think, you can't dare to try."
From intention to action
July 20 2023
Intention without action is wasted energy.
It is day 201 of my content creation journey and day 101 of my video creation journey. The one lesson I have learnt is that the most important aspect of growth and progress is action.
There are things I have planned for. Written down. Told others about it. Prayed for. Spent hours researching. Most if not all of those things that I mentally visualized, and bought courses and resources for have never seen the light of day.
The only things that I have made actual progress on are those that I have made consistent progress on. Writing for 200 days and recording/creating videos for 100 days were things I just decided to do. I had no idea what I would write or make videos about. I wasn't sure how I would do it. But I had a why. I wanted to prove to myself that I could be consistent at something. That I am a writer and content creation is a possible venture and outlet for me.
Despite doing it so many times, I'm still not at the level I want. My quality is still a bit lacking. But I have made an impact on my life and the life of others. It is something I will look back on with a smile. Thanking and glorifying God for the ability, creativity, ideas, environment, audience and everything else he has done and given me behind the scenes.
Cheers to the next 100 days as I figure out what to do. Thank you for your support. And remember intention, planning and information mean nothing without action.
Ghostwork (Part 2)
July 19 2023
A little here and a little there doesn't always add up.
We continue tackling distraction and focus. Yesterday we talked about repetitive tasks and unnecessary research. Today we talk about task jumping and procrastination.
Task jumping happens when you constantly switch from one task to another without finishing any of them. Getting lost in internet rabbit holes such as articles, resources and content you didn't plan on engaging with. To combat this you can use a distraction journal. This is simply somewhere, physically or in software, you can note anything interesting that comes up when working. This will ensure you stay on track with what you set out to do. Moreover, you won't lose any interesting or useful information or ideas.
Finally procrastination. It largely stems from fear or overconfidence and lack of discipline. Overconfidence backfires when you realise you needed more time or resources. You can also lack self-control and strategies to pull yourself away from distractions.
One solution to fighting fear is to give yourself a deadline to research and gain clarity on the task at hand. It can be an hour or a day depending on the matter. Then act despite fear. For overconfidence break down your tasks to the finest details and start working on them early. For discipline, eliminate distractions and practice working. You have to force yourself to work and don't over-negotiate with yourself.
The less ghost work you do the more real work happens and the faster you make progress towards achieving your goals, dreams and purpose.
Ghostwork (Part 1)
July 18 2023
Not all “work” moves you forward.
Maintaining focus and dealing with distractions have become big topics. And they are things I struggle with currently.
We now have time on our hands, especially for freelancers, self-employed or working from home. The time either is directed towards distractions such as entertainment or social media or what I like to call ghost work. These are activities such as repetitive tasks, unnecessary research, task jumping and procrastination.
Repetitive tasks such as reading emails are a necessary task but spending hours doing it daily is not a productive way to spend your time unless that is your actual job. An overflowing inbox is also a signal of mismanagement. How many emails or newsletters or emails actually add tangible value to your life and work? Are you learning for the sake of learning or is the information applicable?
Unnecessary research is when you stack piles and piles of information in order to determine a way forward. Yes don't make moves without information but if you don't place a deadline on your research time and information you are likely to waste time. Give yourself a limit on how far and how long you will go.
Make sure that all the goal-oriented tasks you do have a time limit and a depth limit. And that they have a direct return on investment or result for your goals. I will handle the other two tomorrow.
Getting used to it
July 17 2023
The amount of motivation and progress doesn't matter if you have the wrong destination.
Life has realities that cannot be escaped. Life is difficult and ignoring or escaping it is futile.
There are two options. You can either get used to crying or working. Getting used to crying is constantly complaining about life, constantly focusing on the negative and always thinking you deserve better.
Life itself will not give you what you want or what you think you deserve. You have to work for that. Work consists of making things happen. It is a process of creation and fighting through resistance.
For Christians, they will remember in Genesis when Adam was told "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil, you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field."
Your work will not always give you the results you expect. There will be challenges and painful things that the world will produce and the only way to get to what you want is by working through them.
So choose today what you will get used to. The tears or the toil.
That idea
July 16 2023
Ideas are not eggs. Stop sitting on them.
I believe that anyone who has access to this article has access to vast amounts of information. I also believe that the main issue when it comes to making progress in life is not information but implementation.
Of course, this theory only applies to a privileged few who have access to the internet regularly. I have said before that those who lack ideas should ask God to give them some because that is what worked for me.
So let's assume you have ideas. How do you move forward from there? Choose the easiest one to implement and start with it. If you are unable to choose one, pray about it, if you still can't choose one, flip a coin.
The main point is that the sooner you start implementing ideas the sooner you refine them and even get more and/or better ideas. You need to put the information into action as soon as possible. That is the fastest way to accelerate your progress.
If there are limitations towards implementing them come up with ideas on overcoming those limitations and implementing them. Put your idea into practice as soon as possible and you will be grateful to yourself.
Self-organisation
July 15 2023
reat yourself as an organisation and set up yourself to succeed.
Your relationship with yourself dictates your relationship with everyone and everything else. Your inner environment dictates your external environment.
Even though things may seem okay and orderly on the outside it only takes a moment of significant disruption before everything else tumbles down.
I learned this from a book I once read but didn't finish. It is called "Ordering your private world" by Gordon Macdonald. I also learnt this in 2019 when I got fired and started degrading in every aspect of my life, physically, emotionally, socially, mentally and physically.
You should treat yourself like an organisation. There are many aspects to yourself, such as mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Treat these as departments within an organization that all need attention. And like an organisation, they need each other for success.
Set your standards, determine what rules you will follow, and determine how you will treat others and yourself. What are your long-term and short-term goals? What are your performance indicators?
Have regular meetings. Take time for retreats if you need to. Keep in mind that your company needs to stay afloat in order to survive. Be aware of your risks, strengths and witnesses and what you will do about them.
It may sound too strict or serious, but unfortunately, our world is strict and serious. And the sooner you take it seriously the better. Because if this company falls, you fall with it.
Lead yourself
July 14 2023
If you want to grow as a leader. First, lead yourself.
We spend most of our early life being led, directed, and shown how things are done. Directly or indirectly. Leading is simply influencing. Today I want to tackle self-leadership.
Are there any leaders you admire? Any people in your life who have influenced you positively? What did you like about their leadership? Feel free to let me know in the comments.
I admire my father. He isn't the most talkative but he leads by example. He has taught me that to succeed I need consistent diligent work, sacrifice, courage and discipline. I have learned all this without him telling me anything about those subjects.
I implore you today to think about the leaders you admire and take the best traits and implement them in your own life. If they led with compassion treat yourself with compassion. If they led with excellence, be excellent. Embody the exemplary attributes your leader expressed individually and to others.
If you want to become an effective and good leader, influencing others positively. You have to start with yourself. Influence yourself for the better by implementing changes that improve your life. Allow and initiate actions that will positively impact your life in every way. The best way to lead others well is to lead yourself well.
Recovery (Part 2)
July 13 2023
How well you work is affected by how well you recover.
How do you recover? I think it is simple. Do something that will leave you more energised or put you in a better position to return to work.
Avoid things that drain you. These can be habits and activities that negatively affect your health or finances. Don't do anything that will leave you with regret. You are wise enough to evaluate these activities.
Consider refreshing others. Check up on your friends and spend time with your family. Shifting your focus from work and yourself is an excellent way to recharge and let your brain rest. It can also help your work because you will return to it with a fresh perspective. This allows you to see what can be improved or come up with solutions. Things that had not come to mind because of tunnel vision while working.
Spending some time alone with yourself is also advised. Time for review and reflection. Time to hear what your mind and body say. Have a health checkup. Take a walk. Have a run or hike.
Spend unrushed time in silence. Away from screens and speakers of all sizes. The world we live in is full of noise and distractions both literally and figuratively. Connect with God, your creator, and listen to what He has to say. Have time to heal from emotional wounds and physical strain. Shed some tears, they do help.
You can also pursue a hobby. Volunteer your services. Explore your artistic side without judgement or parameters. You don't have to do "nothing". Whatever nothing means to you. Remember, the better you recover, the better you work.
Recovery (Part 1)
July 12 2023
Delaying rest and recovery will only prolong them.
Yesterday I talked about dying empty, encouraging all of us to give our all and our best in all our endeavours. But I do want to emphasise that your work shouldn't be the reason for your death. In other words, don't run yourself into the ground.
We were never meant to be available 100% of the time and yet with our mobile phones that is what some strive for. We were never meant to work and think 100% of the time but the world today pushes us to do so.
The more you neglect rest and recovery the longer you won't be able to work when your body hits the wall, metaphorically. When you don't take care of yourself, you will have to spend the fruit of your labour recovering.
Why work to alleviate the burden of those around you only to become more of a burden as a result? Yes, don't be lazy, don't take too much time off and don't waste time. You know when you are wasting time and lazy.
Push yourself regularly to grow but don't stretch yourself to a breaking point. For those in business delegate if you can because that is how you grow your team. Even in families, sharing responsibilities builds a stronger and more responsible family. You can't do it all and you were never meant to.
Die empty
July 11 2023
The best way to live fully is to die empty.
There is a story in the Bible that I believe is relevant for all people, including non-Christians. (I actually think all stories are relevant but that is a discussion for another day.) This is the parable of the talents.
In summary, a master leaves his servants with money and tells them to put the money to work until he returns from a journey. When he comes back the servants who put the money to work are rewarded and the one who doesn't is punished.
I believe we all have ideas. Some are good and some are not so good but we do have them. If you don't have ambitions, dreams, or ideas, I understand, as I was the same way. I just lived life as it unfolded. But I got to a point where I needed ideas so I asked God for them and now I have more than I can implement.
My point is that you should do your best to actualize as many ideas as possible in the most efficient way. There is no use dying with them. Whether it is something as simple as selling hats to solving hunger.
Yes, some are stupid and you need people around you who can stop you from making irrational decisions. But there is a difference between irrational and difficult. Difficult ideas are discouraged by people who don't like difficulty and risk.
Lastly, I am not promising that all or any of your ideas will work. But if you implement them intentionally and analytically, you are guaranteed to grow. You would rather bury a dead idea than be buried full of ideas that never lived.
What is success? (The finale)
July 10 2023
Everyone can achieve success if they do these two things.
For the past three days, I have been talking about work and success. How much work you should do, working smart and defining your success? Today I want to look at success through a different lens. To zoom out on all humanity and what a successful life looks like.
I believe our lives have a main goal. This goal is our purpose. Our reason for existing and being born. There are those who say we are a result of a random chemical reaction. I believe we are a result of deliberate thought and vision. That we were created by God.
In God, we find our true purpose, which is twofold. The first part of this is to worship Him and the second is to fulfill our assignment on earth.
To worship God is to obey and sacrifice your will for His. To follow His commands because He knows best for us and because He loves us. In the same way, we should follow our parents, even when we are young and we might not understand their instructions. But in this case, the parent, who is God, is loving and faultless.
Sacrificing your will for His is tied to obedience. Doing as He directs and commands even when it is painful or costly.
Fulfilling our assignment on earth is where our skills, environment and design come in. All the experiences you have, your interests, your personality and your skills. They all point to what assignment you have on this earth. As long as they align with the will of God.
I firmly believe that once we fulfil that twofold purpose. Then we can truly claim that we are successful.
What is success? (Part 2)
July 9 2023
Success is contextual.
Yesterday I talked about working hard. A summary of what I said is that the amount of work you need to do is determined by the progress you need to make. The further you need to go the harder you need to work.
I do stand by the statement above. But I am writing this post to acknowledge that some put in incredible amounts of hours working. Even more than Jeff Bezos who I mentioned yesterday. But they do not get to the level of financial success that he does.
And a simple way to counter that is to say "They are working hard but not smart. They need to do both." Not all effort is equal. Some produce more results with less exertion.
Working smart is putting in the effort in the right areas to give you the best outcome. Getting high-demand and high-value skills. Studying the needs of the market and your environment not just putting in the effort blindly.
I know someone who has worked for more than 12 hours a day for 6 days a week, for more than 35 years. Taking about a maximum of 15 days off a year. They have tried to upskill themselves by going back to school. But all they have to show for it is debt and health complications.
So is that person a failure? Depends on your perspective. They have worked hard, and they have tried their level best to work smart. But they don't have financial success. We will continue the story and lesson tomorrow.
What is success? (Part 1)
July 8 2023
Does hard work alone, guarantee success?
Yesterday I talked about working hard. A summary of what I said is that the amount of work you need to do is determined by the progress you need to make. The further you need to go the harder you need to work.
I do stand by the statement above. But I am writing this post to acknowledge that some put in incredible amounts of hours working. Even more than Jeff Bezos who I mentioned yesterday. But they do not get to the level of financial success that he does.
And a simple way to counter that is to say "They are working hard but not smart. They need to do both." Not all effort is equal. Some produce more results with less exertion.
Working smart is putting in the effort in the right areas to give you the best outcome. Getting high-demand and high-value skills. Studying the needs of the market and your environment not just putting in the effort blindly.
I know someone who has worked for more than 12 hours a day for 6 days a week, for more than 35 years. Taking about a maximum of 15 days off a year. They have tried to upskill themselves by going back to school. But all they have to show for it is debt and health complications.
So is that person a failure? Depends on your perspective. They have worked hard, and they have tried their level best to work smart. But they don't have financial success. We will continue the story and lesson tomorrow.
How hard should you work?
July 7 2023
How hard you work depends on the results you want.
There is no substitute for hard work. Unless you inherit substantial wealth that needs no work to sustain it, not many of us fall into that category. And hard work is uncomfortable because it is hard. It requires sacrifice and time.
So how hard should you work? Should you grind every waking hour or take it easy? Should you split your time in half, work in intervals, listen to your body, or follow a schedule?
I think the answer is simple. How hard you should work depends on how far you want to go. I was discussing with a friend how Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, two of the 3 richest people in the world, work to crazy levels. Elon Musk reportedly works 100 hours a week and Jeff Bezos worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week while building Amazon.
Crazy wealth and success require crazy work but you don't need crazy success. Relative success, meeting your basic needs and providing for your family as well as being able to handle emergencies and take breaks is a noble goal to have. But it still needs work.
Remember that you reap what you sow. Wasting time reduces your chances of success. Resting increases it. Working increases it. For every action, there is a consequence. So if you want to choose your consequence, choose your action.
Combating Fear
July 6 2023
Fight fear with knowledge and practice.
I don't like driving. I think it is because I am not the best under pressure. Driving requires awareness, calm and confidence. So when my dad asked me to go for a drive I tried to avoid it, even saying it would be a waste of fuel. But he didn't accept my excuses.
Why was I afraid? All over the world people drive. Some people love it. And nobody was born doing it. I realised that fear normally comes from two things, lack of knowledge and lack of practice. When we fear we predict the future according to the information we have now.
The higher the probability of failure the more the fear. And the probability is raised by not knowing what you will do and/or what will happen. Knowledge and experience address these two things.
Knowing what you will do will reduce unknown information. It will increase your confidence. The less you know the more you have to fear.
And when you practice you gain more knowledge and experience. Getting used to things makes them easier to predict and if you can predict something you know about it. And when you know you fear less.
So what are you afraid of? Combat it by seeking knowledge and experience.
The saviour complex
July 5 2023
When it comes to helping. Put people's well-being before your ego.
I have an unhealthy attitude that I am trying to change. And this is one where I believe that I know more than others and it is my responsibility to save people from themselves and their situations.
It has its positive parts. I literally wouldn't have started this challenge to write for the whole year if I believed the knowledge I had was completely useless and wouldn't help anyone.
But it also has a narcissistic side where I seek out people's problems and try to fix them. Then I get upset when someone doesn't accept or understand my advice.
It has also led me to positions of extreme generosity that have used up the resources of other people in a manner that is unwise. Straining my relationships.
I have to keep telling myself this:
"There is only one saviour and his name is Jesus Christ. It is good to be helpful but it is unhealthy for all parties when you believe you are or you hold the solution to everyone's problem. Not everyone needs your help and if they did you couldn't help them all sufficiently.
Sometimes listening is all that is needed. You don't need to solve everyone's problems and you can't. Put the person's well-being before your ego. Lastly, it is okay not to be able to help. You are not God after all and you will never be. Love others, be kind and respect everyone. Don't force your help or advice on anyone. If someone says or shows that they don't need you, leave politely and let them be."
Self-compassion
July 4 2023
Treat yourself with compassion.
Life is difficult for everybody and one way to make it harder is to condemn yourself. Continuously judging yourself and blaming yourself for your failures. Continuously ruminating on your mistakes.
Yes, you make mistakes. And you do need to think about the mistakes you make so that you can avoid them in the future but once that process is done you need to let go. Forget the failure and remember the lesson, as my dad says.
One way to think about and practice self-compassion is by putting yourself in the place of someone you love and care for. If that person did what you did, what would you tell them? What advice would you give? What would you say to make them feel better and what do you think their best way forward would be?
Failure is part of success, not its opposite. It is almost a requirement for sustained success as it limits overconfidence. Be aware of your failures and mistakes, but don't spend all your time and energy on them.
You need relative clarity, stability and confidence to move forward. And that won't happen if you think you are not capable of success.
Your life has started
July 3 2023
Life started when you were born. Deal with what you have in front of you. Don't wait for anything before you start "living."
You don't need that job, that relationship, that dream or accomplishment for life to start.
My Vicar Reverend Tom Otieno highlighted that we live in a world that glorifies financial success while young. Top 30 under 30, top 40 under 40. There is no top 60 under 60 list that I know of.
Add social media to the mix and the opportunity to compare yourself to others is massive.
What you are experiencing right now is life. There is no upcoming level waiting to be unlocked. Yes, getting married, getting children or a massive pay cheque or a big job may influence your life dramatically. However, you will still be in the driver's seat.
Life will still be hard and challenging. You will still need to grow. You may afford more but expenses will still be there. Your body chemistry and biology won't change.
The point is this: Don't wait or long for something big to happen so you can finally be happy or disciplined or excellent. The circumstances of your life may change. However, the habits, attitudes, behaviours and mentality you have now will get you to that place and carry you through.
Focus on creating a good internal environment. Live life as you would always want to live it, right now. Manage the little or much you have now. Practice the behaviours you want to live by, right now. Because your life has already started and you are living in it. Right now.
Be bouncy
July 2 2023
The lower you fall the higher you bounce.
Life will always throw things at you whether you expect them or not, whether you are ready or not. It won't even wait for you to deal with what it threw at you before.
I have heard some people call themselves bulletproof and thick-skinned. Claiming to be invulnerable. But I believe in a different approach. One that, in my opinion, is more realistic. That is being bouncy.
Being bouncy is absorbing and digesting the impact of whatever life throws at you and redirecting it into a force for good. A force for improvement and growth. Furthermore, it allows one to rise in equal or greater proportion to their fall. Just like a bouncy ball.
Whatever happens to you. Accept the consequences and repercussions, analyse the reasoning and lessons learned, and then turn that setback or challenge into an opportunity to learn and grow. You will have bruises on the way and bouncing back may take time but don't relent, keep moving.
You are not enough
July 1 2023
You are not enough and that's okay.
Yes. You read that right. You are not enough. At least not always. There is a spiritual aspect to this, but I won’t focus on that today. I am speaking about life in general. There are times you will give your all, but it won't be enough.
It is possible to prepare well for something and still be caught unaware; or to save for something, only to have to deal with a more urgent need. You will strive for a goal only to miss If you were enough there would be no room to improve, to grow and to experience the joy of overcoming challenges.
You have to teach yourself to rationally react, review and relaunch after every setback.
Allow yourself to react, be upset, feel unhappy, and be disappointed. That’s fine, that’s natural. Just don’t dwell on it for darkness grows when it is dwelled upon.
Review what happened, why it happened, and how it happened. Look for learning points if there are any. There are times when there aren't, and that's okay too. Not everything in life has a deep lesson.
And finally relaunch. Plan your next step. And take that next step. I believe you will live your most fulfilling life when you move forward. So keep trying. You will never be perfect, you may never be enough, but you can always be better.
Allow for sprints
June 30 2023
Sometimes it is okay to stretch yourself. But remember that you are breakable.
I look at life as a marathon of one or a hike. A long journey where one chooses their direction. They meet different obstacles, sometimes we fall, sometimes we stop, we get scratches and bruises. We walk, we crawl but sometimes we sprint.
The sprints are periods in life that need a bit more exertion, a bit more energy and perseverance. You push yourself, burn the midnight oil, sacrifice a bit of yourself and make some tough decisions.
This period can be a day, a month or even a year. But it is not something sustainable. And it can cause injury if done for too long. Sprints can happen because of the pursuit of a specific goal or because you need to cover up a failure or mistake.
As I write this at 5 am, working from 3 pm and having a busy weekend ahead. I have begun one of my sprints and to those reading this either coming from a sprint, being in the middle of one or planning for one. You got this. Keep going.
Demystify your goals
June 29 2023
Don't let other people dictate your emotions.
The ideas you have about your goals are rarely accurate. They will rarely fully line up with reality. They will always be a bit harder or easier than you think when setting up and implementing.
For a long time, I have wanted to start a Print on Demand business. Basically, I make a design, put it on a product and market it. Then partner with a company to physically create the product and deliver it to my customer when I get an order.
It is a relatively simple concept and I had done some research on it. I have sold designs on t-shirts before and I even found a site that would allow me to distribute one design to multiple sites for free. I then found a site that provided free designs. So all I needed was to start and connect the two. Or so I thought.
I finally decided to implement this idea this week. The website that I would distribute from wasn't working properly. The websites I wanted to distribute to weren't accepting Kenyan applications. And I realised I needed much more than a design. I needed to know the weight and dimensions....What was in my head was not what was "on the ground" as Kenyans like to say.
So that great idea that you think would be pretty easy or pretty hard. You will only know what it truly takes when you try it out. So try it as soon as possible so that you can make actual progress and not dwell on imaginary success.
Guard your heart
June 28 2023
Don't let other people dictate your emotions.
Today's post is more of an emotional rant than advice on living. Feel free to scroll past. There are times in relationships when people will try and blackmail you emotionally by making you feel bad for your action or lack of action. For what you said or don't say or for what you have or don't have.
I have people who ask me for money and then go on to share their disbelief when I inform them that I am in the same state they are. That I lack money. Other times they refuse to accept apologies and go silent expecting me to beg for their attention only to be surprised that my world doesn't rotate around them.
At these times I simply stand my ground and let them decide how to handle their motions. My role is to give the information they asked for and what they do with that information is up to them. No amount of begging and convincing can make money come out of thin air and no amount of begging can convict someone who has made up their mind.
So don't feel like you have to convince everyone you interact with to like you or be happy about you. Let people get angry if they want to, let them leave if they want to, let them not believe you and accuse you falsely. That's their life and their decision. Your role is to do your best to live a righteous life with a clean conscience. You cannot control others.
Yes, you are not perfect, you make mistakes, you are not always the victim and you should apologise and make amends when you go wrong. You should guard your name and reputation. But not at the cost of your soul.
Decide how to live
June 27 2023
Define your character or be a slave to your emotions and the world.
Decide your direction before you begin your actions. Before your emotions, your circumstances and life's eventualities get in the way.
Decide where you want to go. You may need to change how you get there, you may need to take some detours and pitstops. You might need to rest, refuel refocus but the direction should be the same. Always forward, always better.
You may even change your why or your what and your how but decide that whatever happens, you won't stay as you are for stasis causes regression.
Decide how you will deal with difficulty. Decide how you will deal with a crisis, anger, changes of plans, things failing, and success. Decide how to handle your health, finance, and relationships. Define your character.
Don't do what you feel like doing. Do what you should do. Don't say what you feel like saying, or be who you feel like being. Be who you should be, and act as you should act. Decide what that "should" is and stick to it.
If you want a reference to how you should live I recommend the bible in its' totality. The 66 books, the ones that point to Jesus Christ the Saviour and God the Creator. It is a great standard to set written by the one who made life.
Building dreams
June 26 2023
Being able to build dreams is a privilege.
There seems to be an attack on the 9 to 5. I have heard comments such as "Why should I build other people's dreams? What about my own?"
Let's Zoom out a bit on that idea. Dreams require work and work requires skills. It's very hard to have all the skills you need to make your dream or vision come true. Skills in finance, logistics, leadership, management, technology, communication, administration and so on.
You will need other people's help in building your dream. And that help may come in the form of employment.
So before refusing to "build other people's dreams and empires". Put yourself in the shoes of the dreamer. If someone was helping you build your dream. How would you want them to behave? What attitude and results would you expect?
If you had a chance to be one of your favourite organisation's founders or the first employees, would you take it? Work as if it's your dream job. Invest your time and energy as if it is your dream that you are building.
Build yourself in the process because the work ethic, consistency and skills you will grow will help you in the long run even if you lose your job or the organisation fails.
Be the dream employee that you would want if you had an employee. Look at employment as a privilege. An opportunity to impact lives. An opportunity to grow. A chance to build both your dreams and others.
Rethinking dream jobs (Part 2)
June 25 2023
Don't trade money for sanity.
Doing what you love can turn into something you hate when you are forced to do it for money. You are no longer expressing yourself.
You become a slave of consistency and you learn to dread what you enjoyed because of monotony. This can be addressed by diversification or being flexible, fluid and creative to keep what you love interesting.
If you enjoy writing. Writing about one thing can be draining but exploring different topics will keep you interested. The same goes for other forms of content creation like audiovisual mediums.
You can also monetise just one aspect of your passions and interests. Keeping the others for yourself. For example, if you make video game content you can keep one game for yourself to play privately while you share the others with your audience or vice versa.
Seek ways that you can fully express yourself without bowing down to the pressure of your audience or clients. You also need a clear mindset and attitude that can differentiate what you do for your clients versus what you do for yourself.
A designer may have artistic attributes but the designs they make are not for their own artistic expression but rather to meet the client's needs. The best artists and designers find ways to have their artistic signature in their work without compromising on delivering on the client's requirements. Finding that balance is key.
If you are thinking of monetising your passions, I hope this post has helped.
Rethinking dream jobs (Part 1)
June 24 2023
Don't turn your dream job into a nightmare.
I am an advocate of doing what you love and getting paid for it. Growing up in the age of content creation has shown how possible it is to make money from your hobbies and passions. But there is another side that isn't talked about that much.
I was made to write and I like writing. But I find it hard when I am told to write on topics that I am not interested in. I recently had to quit a job I had writing someone else's social media posts and it was hard because I have no income.
I am privileged enough to be able to survive with no income but I know that it won't last, and I need to make money as soon as possible. But I also don't want to do something I hate for the sake of money. However, I am realising that getting paid for what I love isn't as easy. So why not go for the in-between? Finding something I like.
You don't have to love something to make money from it. And it is hard, but possible to do something you hate for a prolonged amount of time. But you can find something that interests you enough that you don't hate it and pays enough that you still have time and money to do what you love.
Don't give up your soul to make money but don't die in poverty chasing your dream. You can find a way to get both. You are brilliant enough to do that.
You can't do it alone
June 23 2023
There is value in other people's perspectives and experiences.
I like working alone. Not because I know everything but mostly because I tend to be a people pleaser and I don't like letting people down.
But I also prefer machines to people as they are easier to work with most of the time. Unfortunately, in this world, you need external input. Even if you run a business by yourself you still need other people to exchange your value for money.
You also need external knowledge and expertise. Everyone's life is different and therefore everyone has different experiences. Some of these experiences have value and they can't be replicated.
So be open to letting others help and guide you, letting others mentor you indirectly or directly. Thankfully many people are sharing their experiences online, and through books. You can learn from them without interacting with them directly.
But you also need someone who you can bounce ideas off of. You need someone who understands your context. If that person exists, you need someone who has gone on the path you have taken before. You need other people. And other people need you.
Fight or flounder
June 22 2023
You either fight or fail. There is no other option.
The sooner you accept that you will always face discomfort and resistance in your journey of life the less surprised and more prepared you are when they arise.
If you live your life expecting everything to be easy then you will be shocked and coil up when faced with adversity. You will get shocked and confused and you may be paralysed, not able to respond.
The adult life where you are fending for yourself is a consistent fight. Life is full of hardship so the better you get at dealing with hardship the better you get at life.
Failure is hard as well, poverty is a living hell, so even doing nothing won't save you so you might as well get used to the battle and expect the bruises.
Thankfully to the victor goes the spoils. So if you fight well and win your mini battles you will reap the fruit of your efforts. Hopefully soon after.
Battles begin the moment that alarm rings, the moment you open your eyes for a new day and they will end when you close your eyes for the last time. So fight. Fight or flounder.
Break your labels (Part 2)
June 21 2023
You can change your design.
We all have innate traits. These are biological and psychological attributes that are a result of genetics and/or the environment we grew up in as well as the experiences and information we have been exposed to.
The internet has allowed us to have a great deal of information about why we do what we do and why we are what we are. So you can really dig down and find out the source of the behaviours and thought patterns.
But once we find this out we have two options. We can either accept them or live in accordance with them. This is accepting both the negative and positive attributes and having the attitude of "that's just how I am and everyone else has to accept and live with it".
Or you can assess your innate traits. Build on the positive ones and work on the negative ones. In my opinion, the best way to know whether they are positive or not is by having an objective standard of morality such as the word of God.
This is an attitude and mindset that seeks to improve yourself and not merely accept yourself with no action. And the second option is what I suggest we do.
Break your labels (Part 1)
June 20 2023
Your category isn't your character.
There is a worrying trend that I am observing. We live in a society of labels, tribalism and classification. We categorise ourselves according to race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, culture etc.
With the dawn of online communities, we put ourselves in groups and conform to behave like the group. We either unhealthily elevate the individual or ignore our individuality to fit in. This can be something as large scale as political lines to something much smaller and intimate such as personality types or start signs.
It is important to hold a position. It is essential to know your traits. But this should not then make you surrender your identity. No one classification tells your whole story, so don't feel pressure to behave according to your "tribe".
The only healthy classification I endorse is Christianity. I believe it provides a good path for how to live and touches on all aspects of life and it is written by the one who designed life.
But even that is individual at its core. Salvation is not a communal project even though it has communal aspects.
So pick the valuable information from your classification but don't let it overshadow your character. We are social beings but it is our individuality that brings value. Chart your own reasonable path and follow it proudly.
Will you pay the price?
June 19 2023
Everything you want to attain has a price tag. Are you willing to pay?
Today's Idea is from a man called Alex Hormozi.
Patience, endurance, toughness, flexibility, success, strength, legacy. These are traits and ideals we hope to obtain but are we willing to pay the price to get them?
It is said that when you pray for patience God gives you opportunities to be patient. Moments where you are stretched moments where you are frustrated.
If you want to grow endurance or grit you have to go through periods of difficulty. Periods where you will feel like giving up. Strength is obtained through continuous practice, continuous trials, and continuous building.
The things we want to achieve all have a price tag attached to them and if we truly want them we have to be ready to fully pay the price. There is no way around that.
As you go through your daily experiences be conscious whether the hardship or challenges you are facing are part of paying that price. This may make the hard times easier to endure as you will have something other than the pain and frustration to focus on.
Making miracles
June 18 2023
Keep going. Your miracle may be just around the corner.
I had the privilege of watching part of a movie called " American Underdog with my mum and then sharing a similar story to the plot of the movie about my favourite football team.
In the movie, a man goes from working to filling up stock in a grocery store to winning the championship and becoming the most valuable player in the National Football League of American Football. He did this in 5 years. His name is Kurt Warner.
I shared a similar story where a Senegalese 22-year-old man went from being unemployed to winning Europe's most prestigious football trophy the UEFA champions league in 6 years. His name is Edouard Mendy.
These are true stories about real people. And the second one happened to an African, playing for the team I support, in 2021. So, it hits home.
What is common in both stories is that the men faced hardship. They had a period of famine where nothing was working and there was no hope on the horizon. They both almost gave up, but they decided to press on. And eventually, they achieved miraculous success.
So if you are in that period of famine. Where you are working but not seeing the fruit of your labour. Don't give up. Keep at it, keep doing what you can and eventually you might make your own miracles.
Subjective progress
June 17 2023
The pace and intensity of your progress depend on you and your journey.
When it comes to self-development and personal growth there are as many problems and solutions as there are people. I am not saying that one solution can't be used by more than one person, but that solution is subjective, and it has to be customised by that individual to meet their specific needs.
When you are going for your goals, it is tempting to try and do as much as possible as fast as possible because you want to reach your goals. But many times, that leads to crashing and burn out leaving you worse off than how you were at the beginning.
If you want to cultivate a habit of reading then you can set a goal to read a book a month maybe a chapter a day. But if you don't realise that goal how about breaking it down to a page a day?
If you want to get fit you can decide to work out for 30 minutes a day for a month. But end up deciding to start with 10 minutes a day twice a week.
What you set up might not be what you end up doing so don't be afraid to change plans. And don't be afraid to make your goals smaller until they are attainable. You are not racing against anyone else. Your journey in life is unique to you. Go at your pace and with your intensity.
Sustainable emotions
June 16 2023
The source of your emotions dictates how long they will last.
To figure out how an emotion will last look at how sustainable the source is. Emotions such as happiness, sadness and feelings such as pleasure and pain are usually reactive. they depend on external occurrences or triggers to be felt.
That is why having a goal always to be happy or always feel pleasure is unreasonable. The external stimuli won't always be there. Pursuing happiness or pleasure is not bad in itself. The expectation that they will last is what will poison your experience.
There are two possible solutions to the conundrum. The first is to look for sustainable sources. Replace happiness with joy and anchor that emotion into something that will never change. In my experience, the only thing that never changes is God's love, the joy of salvation, the offering of grace and the promises and guidance of the creator of the universe. I am talking about the Judeo-Christian God.
The second solution is not to rely on emotions and instead live a life of pure objectivity. This is not easy, but it is possible with practice. Doing this puts a filter in your mind for every thought and experience ensuring that you are not carried away by your feelings. Something close to stoicism.
My advice would be a mix of the two because you may never have full control.
Handling excuses
June 15 2023
You can either have excuses or progress. Choose one.
You can't have both excuses and results at the same time- Chef AJ
The path to anything worthwhile is filled with obstacles. And some paths have more obstacles than others. Not everyone starts their journey at the same starting line. We all have different advantages, disadvantages, challenges and environmental conditions to overcome.
These challenges can get overwhelming and when they rise in regard to difficulty it can easily become an excuse. An excuse is a reason given to justify a lack of effort and progress.
No matter how big or true you think your excuse is you have 3 options. Option one is to forever use it as a point to justify your failure or lack of progress. Option two is to work a way through your excuse and option three is to work a way around your excuse.
Option 1 isn't for you. Option one will lead to a life of misery and regret and you don't want that. So write down your list of excuses. Then for each one write how you will either go through it or around it. Excuses that are dwelled on are just other ways of procrastination and a manifestation of laziness.
What are you used to?
June 14 2023
You are what you practice to be.
You are more likely to do what you are used to doing. So, if you can be the person you want to become by practising the habits that will get you there.
If you want to be the person who can work through hardship, then when hardship comes you have to work through it again and again.
Success, failure, excellence, and mediocrity are all habits, and they are all built through practice.
Once you get into the habit of doing something it is hard to stop but that rings true, especially for negative habits. That is an unfortunate reality of life.
Change your behaviour, change your habits and change your destiny.
Stickability
June 13 2023
How long can you continually work without seeing direct results?
Stickability is the ability to rationally commit to one pursuit even when it is not bearing fruit or producing direct results.
When it comes to being successful in work-related pursuits it is easy to be tempted to get great results in the shortest amount of time. And there is inherently nothing wrong with that. That is how efficiency and innovation are born.
However, a lack of results after a short period of work or effort can be used as an excuse to jump from one endeavour to another. And constantly doing that will lead to inevitable failure in all endeavours.
I am mainly speaking to my middle-aged peers who are more gullible in jumping from one pursuit to another when one of them is taking "too long".
I am not ignorant of the fact that not everyone has the privilege of failing as some have more responsibilities and pressures that demand being met and cannot be postponed such as having families or children.
But the next time you are about to quit, ask yourself. Am I doing this because it has failed or because I am tired of trying? You are the only one who can answer that question and I hope you answer it truthfully.
Rationally unhappy
June 12 2023
You can use unhappiness to your advantage.
We are the drivers of our emotions. Not the victims. Being unhappy is not a sin. it is not a crime and it is not necessarily something you should always avoid. But I believe that we should try and train ourselves to be unhappy about the right things.
Healthy unhappiness is when we are unhappy over things we can control. When you make plans, and you don't follow them. You should be unhappy when you fail due to putting in less effort than you could.
Being unhappy over things within your control gives you a path out of the unhappiness by changing your behaviour and it also allows you to be accountable to yourself. It punishes you for being less than you can thus pushing you to live up to your potential and grow out of your comfort zone.
Unhealthy unhappiness is the opposite. Being unhappy about things you can't control for a prolonged period to the point which it affects your normal functioning. It is okay to be unhappy about the weather but allowing it to ruin your day is irresponsible. This unhappiness has no clear path of resolution other than the decision not to be unhappy. That is easier said than done but with practice it is possible.
Stay alive
June 10 2023
Don't kill yourself.
Today's post is quite dark. So, if you are sensitive to that sort of stuff, swipe away now.
This is directed to those of us who are in darkness. Those battling with thoughts of suicide, those whose tears have dried up, those who feel alone, abandoned. Those who feel like they were never meant to be born and that this life is too much to handle.
Unfortunately, I know the feeling and I know that others feel the same way. I have no great advice or solution. I am just telling you to stay alive. This is your sign to stay alive.
Nobody understands your pain and they may never understand it but please stay alive. The one who made you is with you whether you believe it or not, whether you feel it or not, and He has good plans for you, but you have to stay alive.
Don't take your life. You may not be able to do anything but sometimes it is okay to do nothing if that is all you can do. Stay alive for where there is life there is a possibility of hope. Yes, things can get worse, but they can also get better so stay around and find out if they will.
Does time do anything?
June 9 2023
Time is not a force; it is a function of reality.
It is said that time heals all wounds. I don't agree that time heals but I believe that it reveals. Time allows things to settle and once they do you can see the distinction of things as the most substantive things settle at the bottom and the others float to the top.
Time allows you to go back to basics it shows you what your default settings are. It reveals what you go back to, the habits and behaviours that are the core of who you are.
The busyness of life forces us to be reactive and it is easy to neglect yourself and postpone issues. It also keeps you from truly expressing yourself and expressing yourself fully.
So that's my thought of today, no suggestion or guidance just an observation.
The danger of desperation
June 8 2023
Desperation can lead to your downfall or become a path to your greatest success.
The internal and external pressures of life can be overwhelming. When our back is against the wall it is easy to be desperate. It can actually be a good thing as it forces us to act but it can also get dangerous.
The danger of desperation comes from the mindset it brings. It creates an attitude of the end justifies the means. Meaning that it doesn't matter how you get what you want as long as you get it. This encourages one to take risks and also bend the rules in search of shortcuts.
If one uses this desire and does not bend the rules or take irresponsible shortcuts, then they will accelerate their progress and use desperation as a force for good. They say necessity is the mother of invention and desperation turns the knob of necessity to the extreme.
Desperation can cause incredible creativity and innovation. It can spur someone to success and bring out strengths and characteristics hidden in the comfort zone. After which you will use your solution to help others facing the same predicament.
If you can avoid getting yourself to a stage of desperation. i.e. putting yourselves in positions of high responsibility and taking high risks then please do. However, if you find yourself in a desperate state know that you can channel it to become an advantage.
Choose hope
June 7 2023
Choose to be hopeful.
Life is difficult. And whenever we are faced with challenges, mishaps, mistakes, failures and general negativity of life we are faced with a choice.
We can choose to sulk, soak in the negativity and sit on the floor in tears, or choose to rise up and make a way forward. The latter requires hope.
Hope is the belief that things will get better. For some, it is tied to their efforts that they will make things better. For others like me, we tie in our efforts with the promises and plans of God in faith that He will help us on our journey and bless the work of our hands.
But in order to fight, you have to be fighting for something and towards something. That is what gives you the strength to get back up when life kicks you down.
So if you are at the crossroads of failure, and you have a decision to make between succumbing to the darkness or fighting towards the light, I urge you to choose the light of hope.
Are you falling behind?
June 6 2023
You cannot fall behind anyone else because you are all on different journeys.
I saw this video online shared by one of my friends and I couldn't get the exact source, but it was giving a new perspective to the idea that one can be falling behind in life.
In this age where it is easy to compare yourself with others, one can feel as if they are falling behind. As if everyone or most of the other people are moving forward while you are being left at the back of the pack.
But it is that same comparison that can get us out of this mindset. You can only be falling behind if you are on the same path, and you can only be on the same path if you have the same exact experiences as everyone else.
But even twins have different life experiences, so it is basically impossible for you to live the exact same life as someone else. You are not running the same race as anyone.
You have different challenges to face and different advantages. So does everyone else. Therefore, in reality, it is impossible for you to fall behind.
Yes, you can fall behind on your plans, you can fall behind by not meeting your targets. But you are not behind anyone else in life because you are not on the same journey.
An example of self-patience
June 5 2023
Be patient with yourself and live an active life.
Whether you are a Christian or not, it is highly likely that you know of a man named Jesus Christ. There is something interesting that he teaches us indirectly about being patient with ourselves.
Jesus Christ knew his life mission and purpose from before he was born. He indicated that when he was 12 years old. Yet, he did not "officially" start his life work until he was 30 years old, and he only "worked" for 3 years before he fulfilled his purpose on earth.
I put quotes around "officially" and "worked" because I believe every year and experience of his life still affected his work and purpose indirectly. At the beginning of his ministry, it is indicated that he often visited the temple and read scriptures. He is also referred to as a carpenter, meaning that he had additional work alongside his purpose.
I share this to encourage you who may be feeling that you are taking too long to "figure things out". Things aren't really figured out, there are unravelled through action and intent. Keep doing your best with what is in your hands, look out for your purpose and when you find it pursue it. Whatever you are doing now isn't useless.
You can only join the dots when all the dots are present, and they are revealed with time. So understand that it will take time, and you only need to be patient with yourself.
Your choice to make
June 4 2023
Your day is filled with micro-decisions. Try to make the best ones.
Our days are filled with a lot of micro-decisions. We make choices every time, sometimes unknowingly and sometimes consciously. If we break down our days, we can see the routes we chose to take and the ones we didn't.
From the moment you wake up, you can choose how you will start your day. You choose what you will consume, and what you consume in the long run dictates what you produce.
When something negative or positive happens to you, you can choose to react in a positive or negative way. This is where your subconscious and your practice may take over.
How do you react to negative situations? How do you respond to positivity? Do you acknowledge it or do you ignore it?
Today's post invites you to reflect on your choices, reactions, and behaviours. See the micro-decisions you make and see whether you need to change them.
The in-between (Part 2)
June 3 2023
Improve and thrive in your work environment.
Most of us want a better life. And while we are pursuing our goals, we can get frustrated at the lack of progress.
At the beginning of the pursuit, there is excitement. We are hooked on hopes and dreams that can become a reality.
But along the way, the romance ends. The initial burst of motivation is absent. We can't see the end of the tunnel, and the beginning is nearly out of sight. This is the in-between.
We are eager for things to progress as soon as possible. We want to see the fruits of our labour as soon as we plant the seed. We want lasting results without lasting input, but unfortunately, life doesn't work like that.
The in-between stage is where most people give up. Where most people look for shortcuts. One may stop pursuing the goal they initially pursued because it takes too long. But I believe this is where you truly develop the skills and gain the knowledge required to sustain what you attain.
So for those in between, it will be difficult, and it will take some time, but don't give up. Don't give in to unreasonable pressure to change routes. You need to develop the skills and experience of seeing things through. Otherwise, whatever new pursuit you have will also die in the in-between.
#process #progress #grit #development #rubiawrites
Most of us want a better life. And while we are pursuing our goals, we can get frustrated at the lack of progress.
At the beginning of the pursuit, there is excitement. We are hooked on hopes and dreams that can become a reality.
But along the way, the romance ends. The initial burst of motivation is absent. We can't see the end of the tunnel, and the beginning is nearly out of sight. This is the in-between.
We are eager for things to progress as soon as possible. We want to see the fruits of our labour as soon as we plant the seed. We want lasting results without lasting input, but unfortunately, life doesn't work like that.
The in-between stage is where most people give up. Where most people look for shortcuts. One may stop pursuing the goal they initially pursued because it takes too long. But I believe this is where you truly develop the skills and gain the knowledge required to sustain what you attain.
So for those in between, it will be difficult, and it will take some time, but don't give up. Don't give in to unreasonable pressure to change routes. You need to develop the skills and experience of seeing things through. Otherwise, whatever new pursuit you have will also die in the in-between.
Where you work
June 2 2023
Improve and thrive in your work environment.
For most of my life, I have been blessed and privileged to have worked in multiple vibrant volunteer environments.
Even though I have no money to show for it, I have many wonderful experiences to show. Maybe it is because most of the people I work with actually want to be there, and they are not there for money.
It is important to have a good work environment because you spend a lot of your time working. I do acknowledge that it is not in everyone's control as we are limited in our influence on others and some people work alone.
But as far as it concerns you do your best to make your experience a good one for your workmates and clients. Do whatever you can to make it easier, happier and better.
Are you a failure?
June 1 2023
You only completely fail when you stop trying.
This is a question I discussed today. 51 days ago I set myself a challenge. I had a list of things that I was to do in the next 100 days so that I can improve myself.
It started well, but now, halfway through the total time, I have not been consistent in most of the things I set out to do. And I don't feel too good about that. I feel that I have failed, that I have let myself down. But is that feeling true? Are my thoughts factual?
Yes, I am not where I wanted to be, but I am also not where I started. I may not have made the progress I wanted to, but I have made some progress.
So have I failed? Yes, partially, but I am only a complete failure if I give up, and the same goes for you. Kudos if you have met all the goals you set out to achieve. But if you are like me, know that you can only fail if you stop trying.
Your watering hole
May 31 2023
Filter your fuel
Would you drink sewage? It seems like a wild question, but I am going somewhere with it. Life requires us to recharge once in a while. Refuelling at the pitstop and the quality of the fuel will determine how well the engine runs and how far you can go.
Where do you go to get fuel? What do you fuel yourself? How long does that fuel last before you need a refill? How healthy are the habits, behaviours and resources that you utilise when your tank is empty?
Consider this and change if you see that you need to.
Self-Pity Vs Self-Compassion
May 30 2023
Choose self-compassion over self-pity.
I have leaned more on the negative part of life in the last few days because that's the reality I have been in.
But today I realised that I had more power and control over how I handled my situation regardless of the situation itself, and this boils down to how I view myself and what I do as a reaction to the negativity.
Having self-pity is when you focus on the negativity and you stay there. You focus on how unfair life is, how many things have gone wrong, and how helpless you feel. The result of this is that you feel worse, and you extend the time and impact of the negativity.
Self-compassion is when you acknowledge the situation. You view life as it really is with its up and downs, and you realise that focusing on the lows won't help you, so you focus on recovering.
You say "I am sad, and I am not okay, but I don't want to stay like this" "So what can I do about it?" This gives you the strength to change your situation and makes the suffering more bearable.
I urge you who are going through difficulty to practice more self-compassion than self-pity.
Relentless
May 29 2023
Be as relentless as life.
Life is relentless with its challenges, its demands and its requirements. One can seldom have a break from it. We are not given many options.
Either you actively work and fight, or you suffer the consequences. Standing still and giving up are not viable options. So we have to be relentless as well.
Those days
May 28 2023
Some days are better than others.
Today's post isn't really a wise saying, teaching or lesson. It is just an update, sharing my experience. Sometimes life gets you down, you get sick, you are not able to work, and you get another sickness on top of that.
Plans don't work out, and you need to stop some things that you thought would make you progress. That's where I am today. I am sorry if you can relate, but if you can, then know that you are not alone. Hopefully, things get better.
I tried
May 27 2023
You will regret the things you didn't try due to the fear of failure.
Trying is an interesting thing. I have heard and seen people criticise trying. Saying that it is a lazy way of doing things. That one should do, not try.
I have personally written a post saying that if you won't do something well, then don't do it at all. My emphasis was on excellence, that you should try to do everything well. But if you think you are not going to do a great job, should that deter you from trying? I think not.
You can aim at doing something well, but the proof is in the pudding, as they say. You will only know the intricacies of doing something well once you start doing it. And doing something well is not equivalent to doing something perfectly.
Well is subjective to the person who is the recipient of the action as well as the person doing the action. There are many variables to consider in order to say someone has done something well.
When you are doing something for the first time, it may be seen as overconfidence if you think you will do it perfectly.
My point is this. Don't let the fear of messing up or not being perfect deter you from trying. Accept that your first attempts may not be as good as you expected. But at the end of the day always earn the right to say "I tried".
Being
May 26 2023
Just existing. Is sometimes okay.
In my ideal life, I would maximize every breath, thought and experience. Reach all my goals, not wasting a single second.
Maybe it is due to my workaholic nature and the urge to please others. The personal and societal pressure of someone my age and "what I should be doing by now". The LinkedIn culture of advancing positions and progress, the online feed of people more advanced than I am.
But is it so wrong just to be? Not pursuing a goal, not pursuing self-improvement. Not reading a self-help book or devotional. Just living and flowing with life.
I know this has negative long-term effects. One has to play an active role in their progress. However, the pressure of always being 100 per cent, making progress and doing something productive also has adverse long-term effects.
So take the time to be there. No rhyme or reason other than to do what you enjoy within reasonable limits with no strings or pressure attached.
Optimism, Pessimism and progress
May 25 2023
Neither pessimism nor optimism works all the time.
Life will always have challenges, and challenges can significantly hamper your progress if you dare not able to overcome them. In order to overcome them, I believe that you have to have the mindset for it. You need to believe that you can.
Pessimism is the bias towards negative thoughts or outcomes regarding a situation. It can hinder progress because it will reduce the faith, hope and belief that one can tackle a problem if it occurs.
When faced with a challenge, pessimists are more likely to give up, as the problem will have confirmed their previous hypothesis of things not going as planned. Rather than accepting the issue and working on a way forward.
Blind optimism will continue to try to move forward regardless of the weight of the issue, which may also cause a loss of time and resources to something that should have been abandoned.
So do what you can to apply realism to every situation. Don't give up too quickly but also don't flog a dead horse as the saying goes. Know when to keep going and when to turn back.
Maintain your standards
May 24 2023
Don't compromise your principles.
I believe we are all born with a spirit of excellence within us. We all have the ability and desire to be excellent to do what we need to do, when we need to do it, in the way it should be done.
Unfortunately, as we grow older and experience life more, that spirit begins to be fought by external influences. The first influence is the reality of life.
You will not always be at 100% and even if by some miracle you manage to always prepare yourself and show up at 100% readiness and capacity, your environment or other people will not be at the optimum state. So that reduces our ability to deliver excellent results.
The next influence is the people around us. From the people who raise us, to the people we grow up with, learn with and work with, they all influence our thoughts and behaviours. People with a high level of excellence will challenge you to be more excellent, and those who are mediocre will pull you down to join them.
I urge you today to be very deliberate about your personal standards of excellence. Create a list of principles that are non-negotiable for you, and don't change or lower them. You will never be perfect, but you can always be better.
Basic stuff
May 23 2023
Start with the simple things.
Life will throw a lot at you, and you will need to handle everything, survive, and then thrive. So before you manage complex and impromptu issues, you first have to handle the basics.
The basics are the simplest form of your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and financial health, You need to get a grip on these things so that you can be able to stay afloat in the sea of life.
Come up with a vision. A state that you want to be in for all categories, then write down what you need to get there. It will take time and the list may change, but that is fine. What is important is that you are intentional and deliberate about the progress you want to make and the state you want to be in.
The physical and mental especially cannot be ignored. They affect your ability to stabilise everything else, so I suggest that you start there. Master the basics to become more than average.
Refuse to quit
May 22 2023
Choose resillience
It is an unfortunate but true reality that the world and life don't care about you. And those who care about you, are limited in their ability to help or influence your life. So at the end of the day, only you and God know the issues you face and you bear the brunt of the consequences of your decisions and the consequences of a broken world.
Life can get you down and while you are there it can kick you while you are down, strip you and beat you. Things don't always get better. Sometimes they get worse and worse and worse. There is no point in having hope without action; that action must come from you.
When you are on the floor bleeding and life continues to spit on you and step on you then it is up to you to gather the strength to shield yourself, to fight back, to run away, to do something, anything that will keep you alive and keep you moving forward.
You owe it to yourself to refuse to quit and stay down. That is why purpose is essential. Without purpose, then quitting becomes the logical option, as there will be no need to get up and fight for no reason. But I urge you, even if you are unclear on your purpose, there is a reason for your existence. You are not a mistake or a biological phenomenon. You have a purpose that includes improving the lives of others positively, and that impact is essential. It is the reason you are here. So seek it, fulfil it and don't give up.
Stretch yourself
May 21 2023
Push further
Hi. I have some personal issues, so today's post will be short.
Put yourself in situations that are outside your comfort zone. That is the only way to grow. If you want to achieve big things, you will have to do things bigger than you have done before. Take risks, ask "stupid questions" and be embarrassed.
Imposter syndrome is simply the fear of the unknown, and you can't know something until you have tried it. So do that thing you are afraid of while you are still afraid and the more you do that the less you will be afraid of and the closer you will get to your goals.
The set-up
May 20 2023
Optimise your life for success.
How conducive is your environment for attaining your daily goals? Does it help your cause or act as a hindrance?
Anything that takes you away from your planned work is a distraction. Some distractions are within your control and manageable, and others are not. Focus on the parameters you can control and adjust them to the best of your ability.
Remove friction and obstacles between you and getting work done. This does not only apply to work but to every aspect of your life like physical, spiritual, mental and emotional health.
You are more likely to consume the most accessible things around you. Decide whether it will be water or an unhealthy snack. You will do whatever is easier to do at the time, so make your intended action easier than the opposite.
Having templates and systems when carrying out tasks reduces the time and energy required to do them. Planning your daily outfits, prepping exercise gear, and setting times and dates for cleaning and sorting out your digital and physical space are some examples.
What structures do you have in place to reach your goals and grow? What elements of your life can you tweak to optimise your general well-being? What can you add or remove?
What's your future?
May 19 2023
Your habits can tell you your future.
"The best predictor of future behaviour is current behaviour"- Netflix: How to get rich. If you want to know where you are most likely going to end up in the future, then look at what you are doing today. What is the most likely result of your habits and behaviours?
It is actually not so hard to figure it out. Healthy habits are more likely to produce positive outcomes and negative habits, negative outcomes. That is the simplicity of life. I have not said that life is easy, but it is simple.
Each habit and behaviour is practised towards getting better at that specific behaviour. It is usually said that you need 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. That works for both positive and negative skills and habits.
Personally, I have become an expert on quitting. That's why I chose to force myself to commitments this year. And that's the good thing about my message today. Human beings have the ability to change, but change comes with action or inaction, not time. If you do nothing you get worse, if you intentionally do something positive you get better.
With all this in mind, how does your future look? What are you currently an expert in or becoming an expert of? Are you happy with your answers and if not what will you do about it?
Debunking Passion (Part 4): Pursuit
May 18 2023
The pursuit of your passion requires discipline, planning and perseverance.
I have said before that your job isn't necessarily your work. Your work is linked to your passion. It is what you are meant to do to thrive. Your job is what you do to survive. You can fund your passion with your work, or you can choose to make your work your job so that you can meet your needs with something you enjoy pursuing.
Note that I have said enjoy pursuing. Not necessarily enjoy doing this. There is an initial excitement when you decide to live out your passion, but you will soon find out that you can end up hating what you enjoy doing if you don't manage it well.
If you can't meet your needs and financial obligations and if you only rely on inspiration, your passion may strain you. Passion gives you interest. Motivation comes from action. Seek out your passion. Once you find it, plan a way to master it and use it. Force yourself to utilise it.
80% of the time I don't want to write these posts. However, I have managed to write them for 130 days plus because I committed to myself to do it. Discipline is the only way to be consistent and competent. Discipline is just another way of saying that you will force yourself to do something.
So hopefully you have learned something in this 4 part series on passion. Action and intentionality is the only way to live out your passion. Let me know if you agree or disagree. Thank you for reading.
Debunking Passion (Part 3): Profit
May 17 2023
How to ensure your passion bears fruit.
Passion alone won't get you results. It will only get you started. You have to master your passion to enjoy its fruits. You have to be committed and have a plan to execute it.
I am passionate about helping my peers, writing and graphic design. However, until this year I was never serious and active about the first 2, and I am yet to fully commit and pursue the third. Despite being passionate about writing, I only wrote 3 times last year.
I had to set goals and targets for myself because my passion wasn't enough to drive me. Now with the goals, the passion turns from desire to fuel. I have written more this year than the last two combined. I have engaged with people on a one-on-one basis because of this blog, and I have even got freelance job opportunities because of it.
You don't have to limit all your activities to things you are passionate about. Passion can get you money, but sometimes you have to use your skills or learn new skills to fund your passion. Skills such as marketing and sales to make your passion financially profitable.
Passion alone is not enough. Passion plus mastery is powerful. Passion plus mastery, planning, consistency, perseverance and purpose is life-changing.
Debunking Passion (Part 2): Origin
May 16 2023
Passion can come from within and without.
Passion can come from within and external sources, Something that is dormant within you or/and something that is a result of your experiences.
I have found out that I am passionate about helping people in my age bracket to build mental fortitude, be productive and build their faith and life in Christ. This passion comes from my enjoyment of deep conversation and my battle with depression.
My second and third sources of passion are historical and intrinsic. I have always enjoyed drawing. Ever since I could, I sketched and drew at every free opportunity. I started editing images at the age of 13, adding text and effects. I rarely draw now, but I am a graphic designer. The desire to create visuals has never left me.
I have also always done above average in writing, not in terms of quality, but in quantity. From primary school to university, I usually get lost in my writing. On more than one occasion, I wrote 4 A4 pages of English composition in 40 minutes during my exams in school.
Life leaves signs and clues. What interests you? What do you gravitate towards? What have you been doing for a while without anyone telling you to do it? What comes naturally? That's your passion. But you have to have done the action to notice.
Debunking Passion (Part 1): Definition
May 15, 2023
What is passion? Let's explore this question.
The word passion is thrown around when it comes to productivity, and I thought that I would try and break down what it is. I saw this quote today in a video I saw on Instagram by Rich Roll where he said "Passion is a product of action, not the other way around."
I define it as the desire to continue to pursue a productive endeavour. I am very intentional about using the words "continue to" because passion will not find you. You have to find it through action, working, living, trying, seeking... And what I mean by productive is non-biological. So desires that are not related to sex, eating, survival etc.
Passion will not strike you like lightning. To find it, you need an active life. Have a goal, any goal, and pursue it. Passion can only be found on a journey. It is not the destination, nor is it the beginning.
It is that urge to do something, but you will have already experienced the thing you want to do. Do something, and that thing or something along the way will be your passion.
You may find your passion in your interests or through single or multiple experiences in your life. Simple things such as running errands, volunteering, reading or watching a story, or a family member's or friend's experience can lead you to find it.
What's right for you?
May 14, 2023
At the end of the day, you will enjoy or endure the consequences of your decision. Nobody else can do it for you.
The obvious choice isn't always the best choice. Consider internal and external factors when setting goals and making decisions.
I set a target for me to make a video a day for 100 days. The goal is to make videos, but that goal has multiple benefits. I will grow in video editing, talking to the camera, content creation, growing an audience and creating an online portfolio of work talking about things I enjoy and doing what I enjoy.
Another example from my life is something I didn't manage to do, and later I decided that it wasn't worth it. At least for now. I had the option to do a software engineering course for free, and it would take me a year to complete it.
I would gain marketable skills that will make me money, build consistency and create relationships, but I am not really passionate about the course, I am simply interested in it and doing it for a minimum of 10 hours a day is too much to ask.
Would I rather live the rest of my life making videos even if there is no money, or would I rather have a successful career as a wealthy software engineer? Once I factored in the advantages, and disadvantages plus my purpose and interest, the decision was easier to make.
Be bigger
May 13, 2023
Choose to live peacefully with others.
As long as you interact with other human beings, you will have conflict. Sometimes you will be the cause and sometimes you won't. But to resolve the conflict either one or both parties have to agree, and where it is one party then that person is considered the "bigger" one.
Being bigger consists of forgiveness when you are wronged. This forgiveness should be there whether the perpetrator has asked for forgiveness.
It also consists of refusing to engage in needless confrontation and agitation regardless of the actions of the other party. It is not an ignorance of abuse or a form of silent suffering. It acknowledges wrong, but doesn't look to replicate it.
Furthermore, it also works the other way around, whereby you apologise and make amends; you acknowledge your mistakes and don't try and shift blame; you live at peace with one another as far as it depends on you.
It is for your benefit. Being bigger frees you to move on and heal from your negative experiences. It helps you to acknowledge your faults and grow by working on them. It reduces stress, pressure, anxiety, conflict and enmity in your life and allows you to live a light life free of the burden of hate and bitterness.
Cherish life
May 12, 2023
Life is precious, live gently, with care, kindness and awareness.
Live fully, maximising each moment and experience but staying clear of the extremes. If you indulge in extremes, then they will affect the other aspects of your life, reducing your ability to live fully.
If you are working, work like your life depends on it. Be fully focused, fully committed and entirely self-driven to produce results for those you are working for as well as yourself. Remember no extremes. Don't run yourself into the ground.
If you are watching a movie, make it magical, get popcorn and a cup of hot chocolate. Set the mood and enjoy it. When talking to a friend, listen keenly, lovingly, and enjoyably as if that moment is your last for tomorrow isn't promised.
When it is time to cry and be sad, let your eyes swell, scream and shout and let it out. Grieve and mourn as much as is deserved for your love.
If you are going to spend time doing something, you might as well give it your all. Experiences are not fully replicable.
Life happens to us. It only takes a second to change your state. It takes a thought to change your outlook, behaviour, and consistent behaviour to change your destiny. Don't overthink everything and overdo what I am advising you, but also don't take for granted the opportunity to experience life that is before you.
Inside out
May 11, 2023
You are as strong as your body, spirit and mind.
The engine of human beings is their spirit, their mind and their body. These three parts of yourself should not be ignored.
The earlier you deal with your internal self, the better because you will have less to lose. The more you have achieved and the more responsibilities you have, the more you are put at risk if you ignore yourself.
One way to know whether you are okay internally or not is to see what you are producing. Are you anxious, angry, bitter, impatient, feeling empty, or constantly confused?
Unfortunately, anxiety and panic attacks have been a common thing in our generation. It is taken as if one has a headache or the flu, and yet it is a clear indicator of an internal crisis.
I am not saying that we should be perfect blissful robots, but when you constantly have negative signs popping up without any sign of reduction, that is something to address.
One of the solutions is to change your consumption. Garbage in, garbage out. You bleed what you feed on. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Don't ignore your body, mind and spirit, if you do, it will reach a point you won't be able to.
Steps are subjective
May 10, 2023
Progress looks different for everybody.
A clinical psychologist was sharing a story about one of his patients with a large crowd of people. One of his clients was greatly distressed and unable to function productively in his life. The psychologist gave him one task to do during the next week.
He was to vacuum his room. That is it. To take a vacuum cleaner. Go to his room. Turn it on and clean his room with it. At the end of the week, the client came back and told the psychologist that he tried to get the vacuum to his room, but it got stuck at the door, and he had left it at the door for the whole week, and he had been jumping over it to access his room.
The crowd listening to this story laughed, and my heart broke a little. To the crowd this was funny, it was ridiculous. How can someone be so incapable? So the psychologist changed the task from cleaning his room to getting the vacuum into his room. That's all he had to do.
I tell this true story to say that your next step may not be the same as other people's next step. Yours may be to get out of bed. That's it. Another person's next step may be to send a job application, and another to start a business. Don't be ashamed of the size of your next step, just focus on making progress, no matter how small.
Play the long game
May 9, 2023
Long-term results take long-term efforts.
How long are you willing to work for your dream and goal? 5 months, 5 years? How about 10 years? If I told you I was a time traveller or a prophet, I saw that all you had to do to reach your goal was work consistently, deliberately and progressively for 15 years. What would you do?
The truth is that this is reality. If you look at the history of successful people, ventures, companies etc you will see that it takes a lot of time. So accept and understand that it will take a lot of time for you. Sometimes it is 6 months, other times it is 5 years, sometimes 20 years.
It is challenging to be consistent and persistent, especially when results are not immediate. But the truth is that not many things have immediate results. Especially results that last. If you want long-lasting success and growth, you will have to spend a significant amount of time building it.
The most effective way to accelerate your progress is to have a goal. Be intentional with every action. Continuously assess your progress and change and adapt when needed. Be realistic, but also challenge yourself. Building for the long term takes a long time.
Don't go backwards
May 8, 2023
Don't degrade.
There are things that build. Things that add value. Things that nourish. And then there are things that poison, things that drain, things that take away more than they give. Every action has a consequence.
I was going to write a post to discourage you from doing nothing, but I realised that it isn't really possible to do nothing. If you sleep the whole day you have been sleeping, if you watch movies and play games you have been entertaining yourself, we are always doing something and everything has an effect.
I guess I just want to encourage you to do something of value as often as possible. Something that adds value to you and others. You are smart enough to know what that is.
When you don't do things of value, you degrade. That can lead you down a very dark path.
When I am low I tend to do things that are of no value and I can get into a bad cycle faster and easier than a good one. The past two weeks have been a self-made living hell for me because of my lack of action. But I refuse to give up, no matter how many times I mess up because I have tasted the bottom of the darkest pit and I don't want to go back.
As I encourage myself, I encourage you. Keep seeking value and adding value as life, truly living. Depends on it.
Remember why
May 7, 2023
Your reason is the fuel for your journey.
Have you ever fallen down and lacked the strength to get back up? What happens when you get derailed, discouraged and disappointed by your progress so far in a project? This is when you remember your why.
I normally emphasise and constantly repeat having a vision, a reason, and an end goal in mind with every endeavour because that is what will keep you on the path when obstacles arise. That is what will get you back up when you are knocked down.
If you don't have a strong reason why you do things, you will easily give up and constantly change from one thing to another. You will always take the path of least resistance. This means you will take many paths because you will stop and go back on each path when you encounter obstacles.
You will have many unfinished projects and unmet promises and commitments to yourself and others, and you will train yourself to quit. You can train yourself to face your challenges head-on and keep your grit and determination, the same way you can train yourself to give up on any obstacle.
So have a why and use that to fuel your journey along the path to success.
Why not?
May 6, 2023
A challenge is nothing more than an opportunity to believe.
Aklilu in Tyson's Run.
That dream, that goal, that vision and mission. Not the small one, the big one. The one that makes you scared, that makes you smile, that makes you feel like a fool for even thinking you can attain it. The one nobody thinks will happen, even you. Why can't it happen?
I am just from watching a film called Tyson's Run. In it, an autistic boy who has been homeschooled his whole life joins high school, competes in his first-ever marathon and win's it.
Doing something for the very first time and being the best at it immediately is highly unlikely, but it is not impossible. The older we grow, the more limitations we put on ourselves and the more other people put their limitations on us.
But I want you to choose to live in a world of possibilities. The world of why not. Yes, you have limitations, yes life is difficult, but your goals are possible.
Especially the goals that have to do more with you than external forces, those have the highest possibility of happening. And even those that require external factors to align can be made possible through your effort. Martin Luther's dream wasn't fully realised in his lifetime, but his efforts made his dream possible. Having obstacles on the way doesn't mean you can't reach your destination. Figure a way around or through them.
Strive
May 5, 2023
You were made to strive. Strive to thrive.
It is recommended to have goals that you aspire to achieve. Ideals. Destinations, targets, visions, improvements. Once you fulfil your assignment, you rest and transition to another. I believe that we will have work even in heaven because human beings are designed to pursue. To strive.
We are designed to learn and come up with solutions to issues we face on our journey to our goals. We have fulfilment when we have breakthroughs when we reach our targets, but that fulfilment doesn't last long. We look to new challenges and new obstacles to conquer.
It is an insatiable desire to keep going and keep improving. There are those who strive to survive. To have a meal for the day, to provide a meal for others. Their goal is to sustain themselves enough to sustain themselves.
I desire that all of us will be able to leave that cycle of sustenance for sustenance to live with the more external purpose of service and thriving so that others can thrive and we can pull them out of the cycle of survival.
Whatever side you are on. Keep going, keep trying, and keep striving until you live no more.
More than nothing
May 4, 2023
I hope to be more, more than nothing.
Maybe it's only me. But I have battles I face that I have been fighting for the longest time. I don't remember when they have begun, and I am doubtful whether they will ever end. Internal battles that only I can fight, that only I can lose.
The rest of life seems like a facade, a front. I may smile, laugh, tell jokes, write, make videos and try to hold on. Try to figure out life and make something of myself. But that does mean I am nothing. If I die with no money, no job, no child or wife. No property. Am I nothing?
I was made for something. I believe I was created not by chemical reactions but by a creator. God, Adonai Elshadai. He gave me purpose. Some work to do. An assignment. I think I know what it is, I hope I do.
But it is such a battle to get there. It is a fight, a struggle. I get tired, I grow weary, and I am only at the start. This fight, for my life, for my being. It is quite something. I guess my best is all I can give, even when my best is nothing.
Am I still something even if I don't get to where I am going, where I was sent? To do what I was assigned to do. I hope not. I hope I am still something and I will try my best to be, just to be, something more than nothing.
Fear or laziness
May 3, 2023
Are you afraid or lazy?
Dreams and goals usually come with risk, and risk brings fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the uncertain, fear of failure. But dreams and goals also offer an opportunity to work more.
As exciting as they are, they require our input and the sacrifice of our time and our pleasures for them. I asked myself today if I was afraid of taking steps towards my dreams and ideas, or if I was just lazy.
I believe it is both. But while we address fear, we should also not ignore the laziness within us.
Laziness manifests through procrastination and perfectionism. We delay the work for as long as possible in the name of research and waiting for the right time or being ready.
To curb the fear, think about a life without your dream. Fear the regret you will have if you never pursue your dream. Be afraid of not fulfilling your God-given purpose. Fear what won't happen more than what may happen, and desire the fruition of your dream rather than the hamster wheel of survival.
To curb laziness, the best remedy is action. Set a goal, have a strong reason for pursuing it, set a deadline and act. Although it is simple, it is not easy and there is no shortcut to it.
So what is really keeping you from acting towards your goals? Is it fear or laziness?
Pursue pain
May 2, 2023
Deliberate and safe pain can help you feel pleasure again.
When you are exposed to high dopamine-inducing activities such as scrolling through social media, constant entertainment through videos, movies, series and video games as well as drugs and pornography you tend to crave more and more of these things in order to feel the same stimulation, excitement and fulfilment.
Essentially, what happens is you get addicted. A neuroscience specialist, Dr Huberman defines addiction as "The narrowing of what gives you pleasure."
The effect of this is that you become to be generally low, with a short attention span and a lethargic life. This can commonly be misdiagnosed as depression or ADHD.
The cure may be to seek things that are painfully boring so that your threshold of pleasure is reduced. I am not speaking for self-harm and self-cutting, but rather as things that will be painful because of your mental space. Things such as forceful focus through work, cold showers, taking walks to exercise, forced time away from your phone, and things that stimulate you.
So if you are in a depressed, lethargic and anxious state, the answer isn't more pleasure and relaxation but more deliberate but safe pain so that you will start to enjoy the mundane.
How you get there matters
May 1, 2023
The journey is as important as the destination.
If I could summarise all my posts so far into one central message, it would be to pick a direction and act as soon as possible. Acting as soon as possible can be understood in various ways, and I want to clarify that today.
The reason I am emphasising taking action as soon as possible is because I have personally realised that I take too long to act. I have a lot of ideas, and I spend a lot of time gathering information and waiting to be ready. But that time of complete readiness never comes.
However, one shouldn't act for the sake of acting. The fact that you have picked a direction shouldn't mean that you should be ruthless and mindless in your approach.
You should be conscious and intentional at every step of the way. Ensuring that you get the maximum amount of value from every experience.
The end does not justify the means. If you take shortcuts and have no regard for what you do while you pursue your goals, then obtaining whatever objective you had in mind will be more bitter than sweet.
There are consequences
April 30, 2023
Actions have consequences.
Those around you have an impact in regard to how you act, the decisions you make and the life you choose. It may be subtle, and it is not the same in everyone, but we can't help but perceive the world according to our experiences and access to information.
But every decision you make has consequences. Whether big or small, positive or negative, short-term or long-term. And you, not society, not those around you, not even the people who advise you, will have to face those consequences alone.
That is why I emphasise having a long-term plan. =You can make decisions on which consequences you would prefer, and in turn decide on what to do and not to do.
Yes, not everything works out as planned. But you are more likely to get closer to your goals if you are aiming for them and actively pursuing them.
I encourage you to be sceptical of everything, but not cynical. Continuous evaluation of your life and decisions helps to break down some biases and assumptions that you might have, and they help you make decisions.
Even if you make the wrong choice, the fact that you thought about it before doing it will reduce the guilt and increase the potential to learn from that decision.
What's the big idea (Part 3)
April 29, 2023
Have a plan.
What are the values and principles you live by? What does a fulfilled life look like for you? What must you do to get there? What must you avoid?
These are important to ask yourself. The sooner you answer them, the better. They can determine every minor and major decision you make in your life.
A simple, not easy, way to go about it is to follow the teachings of God in the Holy Bible. They will help you answer most of these questions. It is the manual to life and death.
Failure to answer these questions will lead to confusion, wastage of time and resources, and a lot of pain through regret.
Have a plan for your life. Even if it changes, at least you will be headed somewhere. It won’t be perfect, and that’s okay.
A plan is better than no plan, for if you don't reach your destination, you will still learn something on the way.
You are adaptable
April 28, 2023
Take the step you need to take. You have the ability to make it work.
Human beings are incredible. We have the ability to adapt and survive in multiple conditions and situations. This is not only true scientifically, but socially.
Think of the times in life when you have faced difficulties and survived. The unique situations that you managed to push through. Maybe it was a project, an assignment, something at work or at school.
There are days that I survived on less than an hour of sleep. Others where I had no sleep. I tried having cold showers before and now my body has adapted to them. My body almost shut down on day 1 of jogging and now only half of it shuts down :)
When we are met with difficult circumstances, we turn up. Our mind and body get into top gear and find ways to get through.
My point is to encourage you to take on that challenge that you believe is a bit out of your reach. You have the ability to adapt and make it work. You need to do things out of your reach to grow, so take action and take that step. If it doesn't work, you can learn and grow from the experience.
Make it matter less
April 27, 2023
You have power over your circumstances.
This post is for those like me who have health conditions, environmental conditions, social restraints or anything that you consider to be an obstacle to your progress.
I have an analogy for you. Imagine a person with a bag on their back. This bag has significant weight in it and this person cannot get rid of this bag. It is fixed to their back for life.
This person has two options when it comes to living their life. They can either ignore the bag and try to live like it isn't there. They can complain about the bag and use it as an excuse for their failures and their lack of effort, or they can choose to acknowledge it.
Once they acknowledge its presence and its weight, they can work on getting stronger. The stronger they get, the less heavy the bag feels. Yes, the bag is still there, they can see it and so can everyone else. Others might even choose to remind them of the bad, and they can do the same. But now they are facing the challenge head-on, and life is easier because of it.
That obstacle you have, that condition and impediment. It matters. It is there. You can't ignore it, but you can work with it and through it. Your condition matters, but you can make it matter less by working on it. Soon you may not even notice that it is there.
Live hard
April 26, 2023
You are either hardly living or living hard.
Life is hard for everyone in different ways. So if you can't escape hardship, why not pick your hardship? Let me tell you what I mean.
You can decide to live the "easiest" life by not doing anything challenging. Only doing what is required and nothing more. Just stick to doing what you need to survive. Wake up, do your job, eat, sleep, and repeat until the day you die.
You can choose to do something extra. Committing an hour a day to your own personal project or something outside what you are required to do. This is the harder path. It is harder for those who live in difficult circumstances where they don't have the time or strength to do so. But for all parties, it will take sacrifice.
I spoke about work yesterday, and I have spoken before about the difference between your job and work. Work is what fulfils you, and your job is what sustains you. I also shared that more hardship now, in the right areas, will lead to less hardship later.
Pursuing work is hard. You will need to sacrifice, time, money, pleasure and seek discomfort, but I believe it is worth it.
One of my online mentors, Chris Do, says, "It’s better to fail in the pursuit of excellence than to be successful at being mediocre." But that requires choosing the harder path. So which level of hardship will you choose?
Work works
April 25, 2023
Work can be therapy.
My hands were shaking. My breath was heavy. I couldn't think straight. Talking was an issue. I couldn't hear either. My heart was loudly pumping. I was focusing on making one step and the next.
No. This isn't my collection of when I almost died jogging last week. This is me having my panic attacks. Today's lasted hours. If I am honest, it started last night. I have been in counselling and therapy for 3 years, and I have been taking medication for 2 years. So now I am learning to live with my anxiety.
I used to think relaxation was the remedy. Doing something I enjoy or taking walks. They don't work. And walks make me feel worse sometimes. What worked for me today was the opposite. Actually getting to work. The same thing that triggers it is the same thing that cures it.
I was a workaholic in my early 20s. It was the best time of my life. Part of why I am doing the 100-day challenge is to get back to that work ethic I had without the negative effects of ignoring everything else.
Human beings were designed to work and to enjoy it. The so-called flow states happen when we are fulfilled and caught in the trance of creation. At that moment we are connected with our creator and our spirits are alive. Work works as a remedy for anxiety, hopelessness, uselessness, laziness, stagnation and degradation. Seek it, enjoy it.
Don't break yourself
April 24, 2023
Don't break yourself as you try and make yourself. Don't grind yourself to dust.
We are limited. It is a truth about humans that not many people like to accept. We have mortal bodies and minds that have limitations to how far they can go.
It is day 13 of the 100-day challenge, and it would be a lie to say that my body hasn't felt the toll of it. I am to blame for most of the damage I have suffered.
Twice, my body has shut down, making me lose precious time. In the pursuit of productivity, I have instead rendered myself unproductive for longer than I would have liked.
Today, I want to remind you and myself that it is good to strive towards your goals at full stretch. To give your best, burn the midnight oil and seek discomfort. However, if you do it too much, then you will lose more than you gain.
So be careful and be mindful of the fact that you are fragile, and you need good food and good rest for your body, mind and soul.
The push and pull of pleasure and pain
April 23, 2023
Life is governed by the regulation of pain and pleasure.
Pleasure and pain govern a large part of life. Too much pleasure or pain will harm you. They are related to each other, they produce each other. They govern us physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
Our minds always favour the areas that have the least pain and most pleasure. That's why there is resistance when it comes to discipline. We are trading pleasure for pain, and that in itself is painful.
In business, we exchange money for reducing someone's pain or increasing someone's pleasure through serving them. The product or service creates convenience, solves a problem, or gives them a better route to more output.
If you have excess pleasure in your current life, you are less likely to have more pleasure in the future if you don't build a system of producing the enablers of pleasure, such as finances.
It has been said that hard times produce hard people, hard people produce easy times, easy times produce soft people, soft people produce hard times and the cycle moves on. I will let you think about your position and society's position in that statement.
Another chance
April 22, 2023
Turn obstacles into opportunities.
I actually just to live a day at a time without any ambition or plan for the future. I had to ask God to give me dreams and goals, and they have never stopped coming for the past 5 years.
I assume you are different. That you have always had an idea of how your ideal life would look like. You have probably taken steps towards that life. I have too. But what happens when we get derailed? When things don't go as planned.
At that point, we have a choice. You can give up on your destination and decide to settle for where you are and where you will end up if you don't act. Or you can gather the information from your failure and see it as another opportunity.
I implore you to do the latter. Choose to see obstacles as opportunities to try something new. Try another way, another strategy. Add it to your book of experience, and you can choose to share it with others so that they don't fall down the same holes or hit the same walls.
Obstacles can be gifts to us and those around us. They offer us new perspectives and enable us to forge new paths for ourselves and others. The next time you are knocked down, get up, dust yourself off, take notes and chart a new path forward.
Plan it
April 21, 2023
A goal without a plan is just a wish. – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.
This is a follow-up to yesterday's post about getting out of your head. You can have an intention, a desire, a dream, or an ambition in your mind. You may even set a timeframe in your mind like next week, next month or next year. But if you don't actually plan it. It will likely not happen.
In this 100-day challenge I am doing, a friend of mine called Lorraine committed to reading, writing, listening or speaking in the French language for at least 15 minutes each day. However, after a week she told me
" I have not been very consistent because I have been doing it at different times of day. That's no excuse. It is a lesson to choose a time of day which works best and go with that"
She had an intention, and she even knew how long she would want to practice, but since she didn't commit to a specific time, the plan wasn't executed.
Set a time and date for whatever you want to achieve. The intention is not enough. And don't let it float in your head. Be as specific as possible. Otherwise, it may never be more than an idea.
Get out of your head
April 20, 2023
Things sometimes seem a bit better or worse in our heads.
Clarity and objectivity are essential for good emotional and mental health. I have mentioned before that our minds work better as processors than as storage. We deceive ourselves a lot with the thoughts we have, and we also hold ourselves back.
I encourage you to get things out of your head by writing them down. Write out your thoughts. This will help you approach them clearly and see them for what they are.
In my experience, a counsellor or therapist helps you examine your thoughts one by one and come to a reasonable conclusion about them. To treat my depression, I have been trained to isolate and examine my thoughts objectively and align them with reality.
For planning purposes, writing down your plans help you know how realistic they are. As I wrote down a weekly schedule, I realised how little time I had despite not having a 9-5 job.
It really brought things into perspective. What looked grand in my mind turned out to be too simplistic. I now know I need to get more specific and realistic about my targets.
Extract and dissect your thoughts and plans by laying them plain before you. You may be surprised by the results.
Keep trying
April 19, 2023
To try is to live.
It is another day when I feel defeated. Things haven't worked out the way I wanted. Really, it is an accumulation of failed attempts that are too much to bear at the moment.
To say I have tasted death before will seem like an exaggeration to some, as I have just written this today. But I have had the unfortunate opportunity to explore severe depression. At that time I was not alive spiritually, mentally and emotionally. My heartbeat was the only evidence of life.
Having tasted it, I do not want to go back there any more, and now I know. I know that success does not separate the living from the dead, but continuous striving, and trying.
There are physically dead people who will always be richer than you, financially speaking, there will be dead people who died healthier than you. But the dead have no new hope. Their fate is sealed and unchanging.
It is only we who live that have an opportunity to affect our path. And that can only be done through effort, through trying again and again. Until we breathe our last breath, we will always be headed somewhere, and only through action can we hope to determine our destination before and beyond the grave.
Artificial pressure
April 18, 2023
There are types of pressure that only live, and die, in our heads.
Adult life is full of both internal and external pressures. It is because of the responsibility we have and the weight of our actions.
Today, I want to talk about the pressures that we give ourselves. The ones that are alive in our heads but are not that big in reality. This is most prevalent when it comes to distractions.
The main distractions that plague us currently are from society, and they are mainly communicated through the internet and technology.
As I have said before, I like staying indoors. My main source of entertainment comes through the internet and video games. With video games, you have specific targets you need to reach. I used to spend up to 10 hrs per day on games alone. They still take up a huge chunk of my time.
The next is with movies or series. I used to have the pressure of seeing the latest film and knowing what happened next in the series. But all this pressure is artificial. Unless it is your line of work you don't need movies, series, games etc.
You set your own rules and pressure when it comes to such things. What are some of the artificial pressures you give yourself and that you would be better off without?
Add some light
April 17, 2023
Make someone smile.
The world has enough negativity. Why not be the positivity it desperately needs? This post was inspired by my friend Wangechi (itsgkeshy) on Instagram.
Today has been a tough day. Devoid of energy and riddled with pain, but it had a moment of gentle joy that carried me through it.
I was getting a phone tripod from my friend who had borrowed it. But instead of giving it back, she chose to give me a new and better one.
It was a random but thoughtful act of kindness that lifted my mood, and it will help me very much in my 100-day journey.
That thoughtful action makes me smile now even as I remember it. I have said before that kindness and respect aren't free. They cost energy, time, effort, sacrifice and sometimes money. But it is all worth it to make the world a bit better for someone.
What can you do to light up someone else's world? And what negative contribution can you commit to omitting from your life?
Sacrifice
April 16, 2023
Nothing good comes for free.
A 60-second video summary is available on my TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook (Andrew W. Rubia).
I am writing this on less than two hours' sleep. I thought that was extreme until I met someone who had no sleep and another stranger who also had about two hours.
I have preached rest for the last two months because as I do the 100-day challenge, I don't want to make people run themselves into the ground. But unfortunately, nothing comes easy.
I am privileged to have had a great upbringing and education. For my parent to afford that, they have had to work consistently for 30-plus years. Missing less than a month a year.
Was that grinding, or is that what is required? I believe one can have the best of both worlds and balance. I believe you can work without being miserable.
But you have to earn that right. You will have some sleepless nights and some long-term consistency. If I were to tell you, I could guarantee you success, but it would take 10 years. Would you take the offer? Because some dreams take more than double that time to reach fruition. Let me leave that for you to ponder.
Review and refresh
April 15, 2023
Reflect on your progress and adjust accordingly.
A 60-second video summary is available on my TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook (Andrew W. Rubia).
As this is the first weekend of the 100-day challenge, I encourage my fellow challengers to take time to review and refresh. Even if you are not taking part in the challenge, using the weekends as a time for reviewing and refreshing is a good idea.
For those who work on weekends, you can choose a day that you are off to do so and yes you should have an off day or at least a significant amount of time away from work to allow you to assess and reroute if you need to.
To review, simply go through the goals you had set for the week and see if you met them. If you met them, note down why you met them, so you can repeat it. If not, note down why you didn't so that you can make adjustments going forward. Reviewing helps to create and maintain positive momentum.
To refresh, take time off work. Do something that gives you energy and that doesn't have negative effects. You are wise enough to know what to choose. This is also a time to plan the week ahead and ensure that you have as much clarity as you need because clarity reduces friction and frustration. I wish you all the best.
The duality of momentum
April 14, 2023
Momentum works both ways. It can build and tear down.
You can watch a 60-second summary of this post on my TikTok, Instagram, YouTube Shorts, Snapchat and Facebook (Andrew W Rubia).
As I finish my 4th day of the 100-day challenge, I have come to a realisation about momentum. It works both ways, negatively and positively.
As I was doing my jogging yesterday, m legs didn't want to stop. They had got into the rhythm, and they didn't want to stop. When I was having a cold shower today, it was easier to convince myself because I had done it three times before.
The resistance is way less when you have already done something before, especially if you have done that thing fairly recently. But it also works in the opposite direction.
I have struggled to focus and to sleep and wake up early because I have been getting distracted and slept late and wok up late since last year. So the resistance to go against that is very high.
Nevertheless, I will still need to fight that resistance in order to be able to build positive momentum. That's my thought for today. Thank you for the support so far. See you tomorrow.
I need your help.
April 13, 2023
Feel free to reach out.
Firstly, don't panic. I am okay. And I am not asking for money. I am just asking for your input.
Thank you for reading my posts. You may have noticed that I have started posting videos on YouTube (Andrew W Rubia) and on my other social media channels.
I would like to know what you would like to see from me, if anything. What posts would you like me to expound on? Are there any posts you disagree with? Would you like my opinion on a specific subject? What is your favourite post?
I would like to interact more with you and make content that is relevant. I usually write from thin air. Literally, I usually have no plans or ideas. I ran out of those around day 70. So your feedback will be highly appreciated.
You can send me a message or comment wherever you are reading this. Or you can email me at andrew.rubia@gmail.com. There is no time limit, even if you are reading this years after it was posted. I love reading feedback. However, I may respond to the feedback sent closer to the date and time of this post.
Thanks for reading, and thank you for the support so far on YouTube and on my other social media.
Take stock
April 12, 2023
You are your greatest enemy.
It is critical to know where you are in life. Be aware of where you are doing well and where you need to improve.
Hopefully, you won't have to realise this self-realisation through a slap in the face. For example, you can have a checkup and know you need to do some work physically and emotionally, or you can have a panic attack in a crowded place or collapse randomly. Sorry for being dramatic, but you get the point.
Make time to assess yourself. Emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Everywhere that matters. Look for tools and where necessary seek a second opinion. Even if you are fine, it is still worth it. Make this a routine habit.
I will hopefully make a video on this and give my personal story, there is a hint of it in the video that I posted today. I have two intro videos and a day 1 short video already on YouTube (Andrew W. Rubia). Thank you for your support so far.
Fighting yourself
April 11, 2023
You are your greatest enemy.
As I took on the tasks of day 1 of 100 I was reminded of this truth, "The biggest enemy you will have to overcome in your journey of self development is yourself."
Your body won't always cooperate with you. You will want to wake up, and it will want to sleep. You will want to keep running, but it will want to stop. You will want to focus, and your mind will wander.
You will need to resist your natural urges to make progress. You will need discomfort in order to grow and increase your capacity.
Establish clear goals and understand why they are important. Why are you doing them? What will happen if you don't? This clarity will help you push through your body's resistance to becoming the person you need to be.
Stay tuned to my social media and YouTube channel (Andrew W. Rubia). I have two short videos and one long video in the oven.
Announcing the next 100 challenge
April 10, 2023
See you on the road to a better you.
Today is the 100th day of the year. I thank God for seeing this day and writing and publishing for 100 days in a row (give or take a few missed deadlines).
Thank you for reading my posts. Whether this is your first or hundredth. Thank you to those who shared and commented on my work.
For the next 100 days, I will put my words into action. I will use the advice I have been given as well as other sources of advice to force myself to be disciplined. I will do at least one thing a day that will move me forward mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially.
Furthermore, I invite you to join me in this challenge and commit yourself to doing at least one thing consistently for the next 100 days. To improve a certain aspect of your life. I will post daily short videos on all my social media and weekly long videos on my YouTube channel, Andrew W. Rubia.
We start tomorrow. It is impromptu for a reason. To stop you and me from overthinking. We will figure it out on the way. The power to change is in your hands. You can choose to stay the same or alter your future by influencing your present.
Don't stay down
April 9, 2023
Bumps in the road can either break or make your journey, but don't let them stop you from reaching your destination. Keep moving forward.
Momentum works both ways. Having a positive experience can give you energy and motivation to move forward, while a negative experience can cripple your progress.
If you are driving and puncture one of your tyres, you can get out of the car and sit on the road and cry about it, or you can step out of the car, look at it, sigh and fix it. Only one of those options will get you to your destination.
So when, not if, life knocks you down. Mourn for a while and move on. Keep your head up, and don't focus too much on the adverse event. Do what you can to fix it and keep moving forward.
Speaking of mistakes, I have miscounted the days of the year. I thought today was day 100, but it is 99. The surprise comes tomorrow. Stay tuned.
Anticipate imperfection
April 8, 2023
Plan for the worst, hope for the best, and you'll be ready to face any challenge in pursuit of your goals.
As long as you try, there is a high chance you will fail. If you try and focus, you are likely to be distracted. If you offer yourself, either through your services or through your personal commitment, there is a chance of rejection.
Accepting that negative results have a chance of occurring doesn't make you a pessimist. Instead, it helps you prepare and avoid them to the best of your ability.
I have heard it said that one should live without expectations and never be disappointed. I think that is a dreadful and impossible way to live. Living without expectations removes hope and drive because expectations give us destinations.
Expectations bring excitement and disappointment. But at least we have that chance. That period before we get the result where we drive towards something.
With effort, you can enjoy the good and get through the bad. Nevertheless, it is only possible to accomplish this if you cater to the bad and combat them.
So as you pursue your goals, prepare in advance for setbacks and when they come, face them head-on. Don't be delusional that they don't exist, and don't be a hopeless pessimist. Respect each encounter and you will be fine.
What's the big idea? (Part 2)
April 7, 2023
From vision to action: Creating a plan that works for you.
Yesterday I talked about finding a direction. Today, I dive deeper into making the journey. After you know what, you can now determine the how.
You can expect this not to be perfect, just like the what. So give yourself a time limit and write down what you need to do to get to where you need to be.
Start with the generalities of your vision and specify the actions and tasks. This is until you reach a stage where you can break down what you will do each day that will contribute to your goal.
Remember that this plan is for you. You know your temperament, your limits, your environment and your situation. This is not a plan for some robot in our imagination.
Be realistic but challenge yourself. The most effective way to know your sweet spot is to implement it. You will know what to adjust, and what you overestimated and underestimated.
Adjust as you go, and remember to rest. If you do not rest, you will not work. You will be forced into a break and cause long-term damage to your body, mind and work. You need rest to function and produce quality output.
Two more days to day 100 :)
What's the big idea? (Part 1)
April 6, 2023
You can't measure progress without a destination.
It is very important to have a sense of where you are going. Your final destination determines your direction, and therefore you can't measure whether you are making progress until you have a destination.
Where do you want to end up financially and career-wise? What would your ideal body and mind function like? How would you live if you had better mental and spiritual health? Paint that picture for yourself and write it down. Get it out of your head.
It doesn't have to be perfect. You can change this answer, and you will most likely change it because we change and evolve with time as long as we take action. So don't focus too much on getting it right.
It is also better to aim high and miss than aim low and hit your target. So be a bit ambitious. Write something that excites you. Something beyond the mundane. You need to survive to thrive, so don't let survival be your end goal, but rather your midpoint.
I will continue building upon this idea and hopefully, on post 100 I will have something special to share with you.
Water your pastures
April 5, 2023
Make your grass greener.
The pastures aren't always greener on the other side. Sometimes you just need to water yours. There are times when we are tempted to move on, but we should stay and improve where we are rather than go somewhere "better".
The most effective way to know whether you should quit or stay is to look at your input, output and the pros and cons.
Regarding input, have you provided all you could have given? Have you tried your best? Because that's the only way to fully grasp what you are doing.
If you haven't given it your all, the information you have about the experience isn't enough to make a decision.
The next is output. Is the quality and quantity of what you produce enough to be significant? Is what you are gaining from the experience substantial? Does it benefit all parties involved, or is it imbalanced? Is there anything that can be done to adjust these parameters?
Finally, consider what the effect of leaving will be. How much damage will it cause? How much damage will be done if you stay?
Of course, life isn't as simple as an accumulation of information. Context is needed, but the information will hopefully help you make a decision.
The power of presence
April 4, 2023
Be present in each moment. Take it all in while you have the chance. And let it go as you pass to the next.
As we grow older, we carry more burdens and thoughts with us. We accumulate worry and anxiety as we take on more responsibility.
In this era of smartphones and the internet, we are constantly bombarded with information and stimulation. Our minds rarely have time to rest or focus.
Even though meditation and mindfulness are supposed to be natural, they have become niche and medicinal
Being present is powerful. You experience life for what it is, and you become more efficient at everything you do. When you are present at work, you come up with ideas and solutions, and you finish your tasks faster.
Being present in your relationships makes them richer. A 15-minute conversation can feel like a therapy session if you communicate with intentionality.
Simply taking one thing at a time does not mean you are ignorant of what is taking place around you. Instead, it means you respect all facets of your life and give them all the attention they deserve.
Take in every moment and let your life will be rich. You will only experience them once.
Fight for it
April 3, 2023
Do what is needed. Not what is natural.
Goals that matter require effort to attain. It is not in our nature to be disciplined, work hard or seek discomfort. Yet these are all necessary for success in most, if not all, endeavours
I don't like conflict of any kind. I usually follow the path of least resistance. This serves me well in some cases, but costs me in others. It helps maintain peace, but makes me less assertive and aggressive when making decisions.
Unfortunately, the path of least resistance isn't always the best option. Growth is found on the other side of comfort, and discipline is found on the other side of laziness.
Things like consistency require us to go against our nature because there will be days when your body and mind don't want to do what you need to do.
Procrastination and over-preparation are some of the signs that we are neglecting the fight to move forward.
We linger in inaction and seek advice in books, videos, podcasts etc to avoid the actual action we need to take.
Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts. You can't run from your desires. Yes, discipline gets easier once you create a habit out of it, but it will never be easy. The only way to win is to keep fighting.
Try again
April 2, 2023
Learn from your failures and try again.
There are goals that I set as the year began that I have hit. Actually, it is only one. But there are others that I have failed at. Every week I say this is it. This time will be different. But that never comes to fruition.
Trying can be tiring. When you fail continuously, it is hard to have hope. But if the goal is worthwhile, you have to try again.
Not everything is redeemable. For example, a relationship with another person can be beyond redemption, but that shouldn't keep you from trying again with someone else. Carry the lessons you learned from the first one and implement them in the next.
Of course, if you don't try you can't fail, but neither can you succeed. Things worth pursuing usually have a risk associated with them.
Great pleasure usually has a possibility of becoming great pain. Excitement can turn into disappointment. But you still have to try.
My brother told me that I would have greater regret for the things I didn't do than for the things I did. The what-ifs are usually very irritating, as they live rent-free in our minds.
If you have the opportunity, try and if you fail, gather the strength, resources, lessons, and new strategies and try again.
Grow your limits: Be resilient
April 1, 2023
Resilience is not an option, it is essential.
This is the third time in the last 6 days that I am talking about suffering. I initially was going to apologise for it, but the world hasn't apologised for its relentless hardship.
It is easy to assume that things will get better after they get worse, but there is no guarantee of that, except in Christianity where one can attain eternal life after death.
But while we are here on earth, we have to live day to day in this broken world. There is no running away or avoiding pain or suffering. Therefore, resilience is not only necessary but essential.
Resilience can only be built in hardship. Thankfully, there is a lot of that to go around.
If by any chance you are looking for difficulty, just try to start something new or be consistent and it will come running.
So train yourself to show up even when it hurts. Train your body and mind to withstand hardship by maintaining healthy habits. Train yourself to not quit when things get hard.
However, don't break yourself for the sake of it. As I said yesterday, know your limits, but when you have a chance to, then grow your limits.
Navigating Ambition: Knowing Your Limits
March 31, 2023
Know your limits and act accordingly.
There is a thin line between ambitious and unrealistic. And the only one who knows the difference is you.
You know yourself very well. You know what works for you and what doesn't. Whenever you commit to a task or a responsibility, you know at the back of your mind whether you can achieve it or not.
You know what will challenge you, you know what will stretch you and what will break you.
If you don't know your limits, go out and test them as soon as now. Then you will have data. Act in accordance with that data.
So when you are making plans or committing to things. Don't lie to yourself. You will only have yourself to blame.
It’s up to you: Take responsibility
March 30, 2023
Take personal responsibility for pursuing your goals and dreams, as nobody else can do it for you.
I commit myself to writing daily, after spending three years writing less than 10 posts. I have now written for 90 consecutive days.
This has taught me a few things about personal responsibility.
As you procrastinate and overthink your goals and dreams. Whether you do them or not, the world will keep moving.
The challenges you had won't stop, they might increase. Things won't materialise on your path. The world will keep being the world.
People don't really care that much about what you do.
I have been very lucky to have friends that encourage me to keep writing, and they cheer me on, but they won't write for me.
They all have lives to deal with.
It is up to you. If you want to pursue your goals, fine, you have to do that. If you want to quit, fine, you do that. Your life direction is tied to your decisions, and even those who love you can't make them for you.
Don’t overestimate your own importance. The majority of people only care and focus on themselves.
Queens, kings, presidents, billionaires and celebrities have lived and died. They were influential and powerful, but we moved on.
Start whatever you are going to start.
Don't disregard people because we exist in a society and social dynamics have to be considered.
Don't allow what people will think to prevent you from making progress.
Set your internal goals that are not dependent on external input. Have your own reasons and milestones before you start depending on outside validation. Of course, some goals need external input, but all of them need internal drive first.
As I said last week, you create your own significance. You choose whether you will be relevant. Nobody else is coming to do it for you or to push you. Even God can't possess you to fulfil His purpose for you. You have to take action.
Fight on
March 29, 2023
Move forward.
Today was another day of internal tears. I wish I could cry, but it seems I dried all my tears a while back. Life moves on, and so must we.
I don’t know if you have seen these videos of children performing in plays, musicals or during practice while crying at the same time. It may seem funny at first, but that’s what adults do all the time.
If I use those around me as data for research, most people aren’t happy with their jobs. They are just there for the money. This makes working to be a miserable endeavour, but we have to do it. Thus, we cry as we work, even though not always externally.
I am not here to tell you to quit if you are in this situation. Unfortunately, we don’t have that luxury. But if possible, use the money from that job to help you work the way you want to.
I am also here to say it is okay to cry. Work will never be full of pleasure, and life will always be full of hardship. Expect it, be ready for it, and cry when you have to.
Cry as you move, but don’t drown in your tears. Hardships will hit you, but don’t stay down.
Rise and Shine
March 28, 2023
Harness the Power of Habits
Your goals, no matter how big, small, detailed, general or specific they are won't get you anywhere. Only action will.
"You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."
Your goal is your desired outcome. Your system is the collection of daily habits that will get you there.-James Clear
What are your default habits? What are the behavioural patterns of your life? What do you do when you wake up? When you are working? When you are winding down for bed?
These are the habits that will determine your destiny. They are the actions that will breed results. Healthy habits lead to healthy outcomes and vice versa.
Yes, goals give you direction, but actions give you progress. You can only go as far as your habits take you. They are the foundation, the floor on which everything else is built. Lift your floor and your life will rise as well.
Avoid idleness
March 27, 2023
The importance of output and outlets.
Being idle leads to misery. The first weeks or months may be fine, especially if you have been continuously working for a long time, but don’t confuse idleness with rest.
Rest is when you do something to recharge. You shift your focus momentarily to allow your body and mind to have less strain. To relax and rejuvenate.
People find beaches, safaris, camping and the outdoors relaxing. It allows the mind to reduce all the constant stimulations of urban environments. The reason journaling is so highly recommended is that it declutters the mind and gives it breathing room.
Idleness is when you do nothing but consume. There is no output or outlet. You are just ingesting things into your mind and body.
Your mind works better when it is processing the information it receives, not just storing it. Especially when the information isn’t valuable.
I believe that human beings were designed to work. To actually have a function and an output. I used to think that a day full of nothing but food and entertainment would be heaven, but it gets old quickly.
The people on the top of the Forbes list don’t stop working when they get there. They keep working. Doing new things. Money is a good goal to have, but only meaningful work will bring fulfilment. The work has to be meaningful to you as well as the one receiving it.
Your work isn’t the same thing as your job. What fulfils you is your work. What enables you to survive is your job. Combining the two is the goal of life. Find something that sustains you financially and fulfils you emotionally.
Choose not to give up
March 26, 2023
Choose to add value.
There are days when I imagine that I wasn’t designed to be in this world.
When the day is filled with hardship and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
But fortunately or unfortunately, I was made with a purpose.
And that purpose wasn’t to simply consume, but to create.
To create positive experiences in the lives of others.
You were created to do the same, and I am not specifically talking about charity, but about everything a human being can offer another.
A hug, company, a product or service, a friendship. You were made for others, not for yourself.
And to be of value, you have to add value to yourself. In the early years of life, that value is mainly obtained by absorbing and learning initiated by those around us and our environment.
Once you are an adult it is up to you to decide on the path you should go all paths have hardship, and failure but the same paths promise value, lessons and hopefully success.
So giving up is not an option. That’s what I choose to say and tell myself.
Paradise awaits those who believe in Christ, but until we meet him in heaven, we have to push through the hardship and hope we will have some breaks along the way.
Destiny and Purpose
March 25 2023
A Call to Change Someone’s World.
We are all born insignificant. We have a purpose, and we have destinies, but until we take significant action, we remain insignificant.
Changing the world is a worthy goal to have, but the only person who has ever done that is a man named Jesus Christ, and I don’t think anyone else will ever be that significant.
So, why not change someone’s world? Start with one person and move forward from there.
You don’t need millions. You only need intent
Yes, the cure for cancer will have a huge impact but making someone smile or smiling at someone can save a life as well.
Expect to fail, make a fool of yourself and be embarrassed. But a momentary shot at your pride is a worthy price to pay if you can help another. And I think that is something you can be proud of for the rest of your life.
So, make yourself significant by significantly affecting someone’s life positively.
You are smart enough to figure out who and how, you just need to decide when and as we say in Kenya “mapema ndio best” (the earlier, the better.)
How to Live a Richer Life
March 24 2023
By Focusing on the Simple Things.
I don’t even know whether this is relevant, but I will share it anyway. It was 2:30 am. I had just finished editing yesterday’s post and I was having my supper. It was a long day and an even longer night, but something made me smile.
The food tasted good. It even tasted better with a bit more salt in it. At that moment I caught myself appreciating the moment. I was supposed to be tired and cranky and miserable because I had to wake up in 2 hours. But I wasn’t.
I realised that circumstances won’t always favour me. Actually, most of the time they won’t be good. As a pessimist currently taking antipsychotic medication, I spend most of my time ruminating on misery.
This is despite being incredibly privileged. I have food, shelter, clothing and access to the internet. This is much more than most of the population on this planet.
Being grateful for the small things. Even in the middle of misery, gives you the strength to go on.
Moments add flavour to life. Yes, the journey has its charm but it’s the moments that carry the day. Appreciate the little things.
Boost Your Well-Being
March 23 2023
Quick Tips for Mind and Body Health.
(This article is AI-assisted)
A car without an engine is an empty husk.
So is a person without a properly running mind and body.
Here are some simple ways to take care of your engine.
Take breaks and move your body throughout the day. Whether it’s a quick walk outside or some stretching at your desk, physical activity can improve your mood and increase productivity.
Prioritize sleep. Getting enough rest is essential for both physical and mental health.
Aim for 7–8 hours of sleep each night and establish a consistent sleep schedule.
Stay hydrated. Drinking enough water is crucial for maintaining energy levels and preventing dehydration. Aim for 2 litres of water a day.
Eat a balanced diet. Fuel your body with healthy foods like fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. Limit processed foods and sugar.
Connect with others. Spending time with friends and family, or even joining a community group, can provide social support and improve mental health.
Take care of your mental health.
This can include talking to a therapist or counsellor, practising self-care, and finding healthy coping mechanisms for stress.
Remember to take care of yourself. Self-care looks different for everyone, so find what works for you and make it a priority. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a bath, or just taking a few deep breaths, prioritize your well-being.
Break the rules
March 22 2023
How to overcome harmful habits & live your best life.
I can't concentrate without my coffee.
I can't work without music.
These are some rules we set for ourselves.
Today I want to remind you that you have the power to break them.
Think about your day. From the time you wake up until you go to bed.
What are some of the rules you follow? Do these rules serve you or do they hold you back?
Think of the habits you have. The things you do regularly, without thinking.
How many of them have a positive influence on your mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health?
If all of them add value to you, then stop here. I want to talk to the imperfect people among us.
Pick one of those harmful habits and think about what you can do to replace that.
That habit is making you a bit worse every single day in one shape or form.
The habits I am talking about are ones which:
1. Reduce sleep quality (e.g., night-time binge-watching)
2. Lower concentration and creativity (e.g., porn, excess social media)
3. Increased risk of health issues (e.g., inactivity, junk food, drug use
4. Waste time.
Pick one and replace it with something else.
The time and energy spent have to go to something else, otherwise, you will just go back to the bad habit.
You are smart enough to know what isn't serving you and what you can replace it with.
For some of them, you will have to unlearn. Like going to the toilet with your phone.
I believe in you. The power is in your hands.
Change from being a bit worse every day to being a bit better and your life will improve. It is that simple.
It will be hard, and it will take time and effort.
But it is worth it.
You will reap the reward for the rest of your life.
Let me know if this thread has been helpful. I post daily about living and working better.
You can follow, reply and retweet to support. Ask any questions you may have.
Delay pleasure (part 2)
March 21 2023
Delaying pleasure now to prioritise progress will enable you to have more pleasure to enjoy later.
Today I will be building on the idea I introduced yesterday about the benefits of delaying pleasure for progress. Entertainment can be seen as a big hindrance to getting to our goals.
You only have a few hours a day to make progress on your goals and unless your goals require you to be up to date with the latest in entertainment can be a waste of time. Therefore, you delay the pleasure of enjoying entertainment and instead you use that time to work on your goals.
I believe you can have the best of both worlds. In a previous post, I wrote about using entertainment as a reward. For every 5 hours of work, you get 1 hour of entertainment (for example). This will help you enjoy the journey as you don't know when it will end. You can end up building an empire only to be too sick, old or lonely to enjoy it due to how hard you worked and the sacrifices you made.
I also believe that in the long run working on your goals now will give you more time and resources to enjoy entertainment later. Other than using entertainment as an escapism from the reality of life you can sacrifice it now so that later you can afford to spend a day binge-watching a series or movies, travelling or playing games. Delaying the pleasure, for now, will allow you to enjoy more pleasure later.
Delay pleasure
March 20 2023
The ability to delay pleasure is a useful skill that will save you a lot of time and increase your productivity.
Today I am talking about a behaviour known as delayed gratification. This is when you intentionally act against your immediate desires and actions that give you pleasure. Instead, you delay that action to focus on the task at hand which at the time is more productive even though it is more uncomfortable.
The best way to train yourself is to start small. First have a goal, something to aspire to. Break it down into small tasks, and plan for those tasks.
The practice comes when it is time for you to execute those tasks but you get a desire to do something easier at the time like scroll social media, watch some entertainment or play video games.
It can also come in the place of things that derail your goals such as unhealthy foods derailing your health goals or unnecessary shopping derailing your financial goals.
Each time you are going to do something that isn't aligned with where you want to be you need to catch yourself and physically and mentally choose not to do it.
At first, it will be hard, but you need to keep trying and practising it. Even if you fail in the morning try again in the afternoon. It builds up with time and gets easier.
When to stop
March 19 2023
Sometimes quitting is the right thing to do.
I am all for grit, determination, resilience and perseverance but sometimes the right thing to do is to either pause, stop entirely or change course. Not everything in life should be pursued with the full might until it succeeds. Sometimes "giving up" is the right thing to do.
So when is it the right thing to do? Well, this requires my famous recipe of two tablespoons of context and a tablespoon of wisdom. The breaking or changing point for me is different from yours. It depends on the circumstance you are in and your current capacity as well as the availability of options available.
If something is continuously having a negative effect on your life for a significant amount of time then it is time to consider. When something is making you experience more harm than good and derailing you significantly it is time to ponder its relevance and importance.
Having a goal helps you curate whether you are going in the right direction and it enables you to say yes and no to opportunities and endeavours along the way.
So don't continue sticking with what is not working for the sake of being resilient. Be flexible and work towards your end goal. As much as it depends on you.
The in-between
March 18 2023
All great pursuits require small steps.
There are times in life when you are not necessarily doing anything significantly new or stopping anything you have been doing. You are not in transition you are not in stagnation. You are just slowly building and moving forward step by step. This is the in-between.
For those who enjoy the excitement of the journey. And those who are always looking to be challenged this time may seem unproductive and uninteresting yet it is very necessary. This is a stage where muscles are built. The muscles of consistency and competence take time to build and they are not necessarily fun to do.
Be aware if you are in this stage and don't try to rush it. This process is necessary. In fitness, there are the before photos where someone is either overweight or very thin and then the after photo where they are full of muscles and they have a huge smile on their face. The struggle, small wins, monotony and repetition of the in-between are lost and yet it was the most important part of the journey.
So for those in between. Hang in there. It will take time to build anything worth building. Don't be impatient, and don't get desperate as that will damage your progress and it may deny you what you have been working towards. Enjoy this time before the next major shift comes because life is always full of surprises.
What to fear
March 17 2023
The right type of fear can be a force for good.
As someone who basically lives on the internet, I suffer from the Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) a lot but thankfully due to my financial and occupational situation I am rarely able to act upon it. But that fear can be put to good use if directed in the right way.
It usually relates to things that are trendy such as the latest movie or series, and songs. It can also relate to things that are blowing up online such as the bitcoin and blockchain craze of years past or the dawn of Artificial Intelligence that we are experiencing right now.
However, I would rather fear not fulfilling my calling, or not living up to my potential. I would rather fear not fulfilling my purpose. I fear the poverty that comes out of laziness and the misery that comes with being a burden to those around me. Fear the regret that you will feel if you don't act upon that idea. Fear the justified wrath of God that accompanies sin.
The latest movies, cars, clothes and trends will pass. If a trend isn't useful to you, let it go. Something like Artificial intelligence can be useful but if you can't take advantage of it right now don't stress about it. Fear missing out on the life you deserve. Have a fear that moves you forward not one that enslaves you.
Let me know if you agree.
Dear Human
March 16 2023
Be excellent. Be flawed. Be human.
To be human is to be imperfect. That is a bitter truth that you have to accept and expect. Some say that human beings are limitless, that we can do whatever we set our minds on and accomplish anything we want to. But sometimes and along the journey we are limited.
I am not saying that we shouldn't push ourselves to and through the limit. I am all about growth and extending yourself. I encourage that on an almost daily basis. But I do want to acknowledge that we can crumble.
When you break, when you fail, when you don't reach that goal and when that business or initiative doesn't work out don't feel like you have let humanity down. Yes, you may have made mistakes and let yourself down but it is not because something is wrong with you. Mistakes are common. They are human.
Thankfully as human beings we also have resilience. As humans, we have the power to get back up, dust off ourselves and try again. To move forward in adversity and to either help or be helped by others.
So enjoy the human experience. The tears and the laughter, the gut-wrenching failures and the unimaginable victories. There are days that feel like endless pits and those filled with bliss. Dear human, be human.
Against the current
March 15 2023
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Starting from a very young age we begin to lose our individuality and we start to take up the mannerisms of those around us. We start learning about the world through the lens we are taught to and we start fitting into the mould we are taught and told to fit in.
Around teenagehood, we feel like we can rebel and start doing things the way we think they should be done but at the early stage of adulthood we are met with the harsh realities of the world and then we are met with a choice.
We have a choice to conform to the patterns of this world or to go against the pattern and do something new, something risky something different. This choice usually happens when our minds are renewed and we have a different outlook on life.
For some, the choice is easier because they have less to risk due to the privileges they enjoy. Those with fewer privileges have more pressure to live a certain way to just get by and there is no wiggle room to take risks.
The choice is whether to join the rat race of working so you can live and living so you can work. Or to dare and risk getting out of the cycle of survival to help you and others thrive by doing what you believe you were designed to do. Most people never get this opportunity but I urge you, if you get the chance, to take it.
Learn along the way
March 14 2023
Moving forward brings the clarity and momentum required to continue making progress.
For those of us who like having as much information as possible before we begin anything. Starting something is scary. We want to know steps 1 to 100 before even putting on our shoes, while in reality we only need to know the next step for that step will give us direction on the next.
I am not saying that you shouldn't prepare and research before making major decisions or starting major endeavours, but I am saying that you shouldn't use it as an excuse for not starting.
You may be surprised to realise that what you thought the experience would be like isn't how it is. Things usually look different until you get a closer look and the closest look is in the thick of it. Something you thought was easy might turn out harder than you thought and vice versa.
Today I simply wanted to apply for a job. Something I have never done since 2017. I ended up making 4 websites as a result. You never know where one simple task might lead you.
Only when you are in the process will you be able to taste the real experience. So if it is information you want you won't get any better first-hand information than your own. So take that first step and be ready for a thrilling ride. Because whatever happens you will grow at the end of it.
Fight the fear
March 13 2023
Don't fear the fight, fight the fear -Erica Baier
Fear isn't fun. It brings up everything that could go wrong, reminds you of everything that has gone wrong before, and keeps you from moving forward with the perception of safety.
It does have perks in that it keeps you vigilant of possible threats. It ensures that you prepare in the best way you can. Fearing exams has helped me prepare for them. It can also keep you alert against scams or going down the wrong path.
Today I am handling the fear related to starting something new. Something that requires a lot of your input and putting yourself in positions you have never been in before.
Yesterday I shared that I would throw myself into the deep end of action. My perfectionist self freaked out at the thought of me doing something without 200% preparation and research. Today I made one step into the journey, and I have a mixed bag of anxiety, fear and excitement.
I managed to overcome the fear although I have taken a few years from the conception of the idea to actually doing something tangible about it. I encourage you today to acknowledge that you will be afraid and that you can still start afraid. You don't need to have zero fear to make a step forward all you need is to know what the next step is and act on it. Act in spite of your fear.
Closing the Action Gap
March 12 2023
The gap between your current self and your ideal self is immediate action.
I use these daily posts as my personal journal. Most of the posts are addressed to me and it is usually a bonus when I find out somebody relates. Of course, I do want to provide value but the only thing I have experienced is my own life.
Lately, I have been feeling stressed and frustrated because I have not been doing the things, I need to do. I have this image of my ideal self and what an ideal day would look like. I imagine all the things I would get done and how far I would go. When the day comes, I end up doing little or nothing of what I had planned.
I have quickly found out that the gap between my current self and my ideal self is action. And that action must be immediate. Saying that I will do it tomorrow doesn't work because tomorrow never comes.
Waiting for the ideal time doesn't work because the stars will never align perfectly in my favour and that will just be an excuse to postpone the move further. I will also look for other things to do that I deem as "more important and urgent". Which is just another form of procrastination.
So, I have decided that I will immediately take action. I don't know how but I also started posting daily without knowing how or what I will post and here we are 71 days later. So hopefully it will go well. Wish me luck and feel free to also start that thing immediately.
The information-to-action ratio
March 11 2023
Different skills require different amounts of information and action.
I have a theory about how much information and action you need to pursue specific areas of expertise. As I am a young and inexperienced man this theory is highly theoretical and I may change it or disown it as I continue to learn, grow and experience life.
Practical skills need 70% action and 30% info. These are skills that require your handiwork from gardening to writing and video editing. You grow more from practising than from just information.
Things that rely on market dynamics and changing variables. 50 %info and 50% action. Skills such as sales, marketing, customer reaction and technology. The information in these fields continually changes and requires you to both be hands-on with the work and always pay attention to external factors.
Theoretical practices. 30% action and 70% information. These are areas that rely on information that is either unchanging or changes very slowly. These are areas such as medicine, agriculture, law, theology and philosophy. You need to know a lot to start. But even as you practice you need to employ continuous education to adapt to new emerging matters.
Look at the area you are pursuing and see how much time and resources you need to allocate to getting information and how much you need to allocate to action.
Seek discomfort
March 10 2023
Growth is found in discomfort.
I have said before that the world is always moving forward, if you move at the same pace as the world you will survive but if you want to thrive you need to move at a rate above the usual.
That kind of movement is difficult and it requires us to go out of our way into uncomfortable situations. These are areas we have never been before doing things we have never done before. If you want to go to places you have never been to you need to do things you have never done.
The discomfort mainly comes because of the sacrifices that you have to make along the way. One has to delay their pleasures for a while in order to have the privilege to enjoy them in the future.
In order to grow you have to intentionally get uncomfortable. It is hard, and it is scary but it is necessary for your evolution and adaptation. Choose to seek discomfort.
D.R.A.G yourself
March 9 2023
Sometimes forcing yourself is the best option.
Today was one of those days. I don't know if you have had them. Days that you would rather not attend. You literally want to be absent, everything to be cancelled and everyone to leave you alone. Not that you have a problem with anyone, but you really don't have the strength to do anything.
Unfortunately, as an adult you have responsibilities, and you have to drag yourself out of bed and drag yourself throughout the day. There will be consequences if you allow your feeling to drive you.
I made an acronym a while back with the letter drag. I don't know if it fully works but that's what I will share with you today.
The D stands for determination. A quick Bing search suggests that determination means to have a firm direction, not wavering in your pursuit of achieving it, and I agree. The R stands for realise. In this context, it means to accomplish. I know there is an A for that but just flow with me. Determination is the fuel. Realising is the process.
The A stands for advancing. The goals have to be positive. They have to move you forward. And the G stands for goals. The final destination has to be clear for the journey to make sense.
Be determined to realise your advancing goals.
Facts over feelings
March 8 2023
There is more to life than suffering.
Accepting that one cannot be led by their feelings is a bitter pill to swallow. As a person who has been on antipsychotic medication for two years, it is a reality that I had to accept in order to start the journey to recovery. Answers such as "that's the way I am" or "that is the way I felt" are rarely worthy answers to any question. Even relationships require more than emotion and vibes.
To live by one's feelings is to accept a life of continuous confusion and chaos. Our mind is always in "self-preservation" mode, and it will always seek the path of least resistance. Unless there are external factors in the environment that make that path less of an option.
The cure to emotion is motion. And the best way to control motion is with intent and direction. You need to have a reason other than feelings to do the things you do, and that reason should be important enough to force you to force yourself to move. The reason can be towards a goal or against an outcome. You can have a goal to attain wealth or to avoid poverty. Of course, that is a wildly vague example but you get the point.
Reality is governed by facts. Which facts you choose to believe and live according to is your own option but their effect is out of your hands. For example, whether you believe in gravity or not you will still be subject to its laws. I get mine from the bible, choose your facts wisely.
Keep going
March 7 2023
There is more to life than suffering.
When you are in a state of continuous pain or continuous suffering it is easy to think that you will remain there. The longer you stay in it the less hopeful you become about getting out of it.
Also, something weird happens that you get used to the pain and the suffering and you become defensive of it because it is the only thing you have known.
So, it becomes harder to get out of it because of your fear of the unknown. The state of suffering becomes your identity, and you learn to live with it, and you stop fighting it.
This post is here to remind those of you that have been going through a tough time for so long that there is still hope and you need to keep fighting. If you told me 4 years ago that I would have written posts for 66 days in a row (mostly) and posted them online, I would have smiled at you because I wouldn't have had the strength to laugh back then. But 4 years later I have made baby steps progress.
For so long I lived like a corpse and even though I am not where I need to be or want to be I am not where I was, and it is because of people encouraging me to keep fighting. Today I encourage you to do the same. Fight until you have no breath left. Life will always have suffering in some form or another but that doesn't have to be all life is about.
Be proactive: 3 ways to live
March 6 2023
Pick a direction for your life and work towards it. Otherwise, life will pick one for you and you will be a slave to your needs and desires.
I believe that there are 3 levels of activity.
You can be inactive. You let life happen and do what you feel like doing at the moment. This is usually in a situation where you have little to no responsibility. It can be due to illness, laziness or both. It leads to a very unproductive life that drains the individual living it as well as those around them.
You can be reactive. This is where most people are. You act according to the triggers of life and do what is expected, nothing more, nothing less. The main goal here is to survive. You live to pay bills and live through the common patterns of life. This stage is also very difficult to get to because there is usually nothing wrong with staying in it. One can live and die a comfortable life here.
You can be proactive. You can try and shape your life by planning for the future and taking strategic action. You are constantly seeking a way to improve yourself and your surroundings. You are not content with living a mundane life. You think ahead and are rarely caught off guard. This is the most challenging way to live but the most rewarding. It usually requires a lot of risk-taking, self-sacrifice and extra work. You need to live an uncommon life in order to get uncommon results.
I am currently moving from inactive with a goal of getting to the proactive. You can take your pick on how you want to live.
Decision making: Choose pitstops
March 5 2023
Decisions either take you further or closer to your goals.
In life when making major decisions you should choose pitstops. Pitstops will refresh you and enable you to go through your journey faster and further even if you have to get off the main path for some time.
When you are making a pitstop you need to consider the costs and the benefits. Does the benefit outweigh the cost? Will it add more value than it consumes from you? This is important because it will help you make wiser decisions along your journey.
You can also look at the cost in terms of time, money, relationships and other resources. Taking the time to plan for your pitstop instead of jumping into it without any thought can lead to much better outcomes.
It is also important to remember to enjoy the journey. At times life will throw you off course, but it is up to you to take it as an opportunity to invest in yourself. Make sure to rest and recuperate, and don’t be afraid to give yourself time to grow and learn.
It is also important to know when it is time to change. If a pitstop is not effective or helping to better your journey, it is important to recognise that and make a change. Don’t be afraid to let go of things that are not helping you. This will assist you in making well-informed choices to reach your objectives.
The Golden rule
March 4 2023
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.everyone.everyone.everyone. (Romans 12:18)
Treat others as you would like to be treated. Have compassion, empathy and mercy. Forgive others for your own sake.
Only judge if you have never made a mistake. We all make mistakes some may seem bigger than others but none of us are faultless.
Kindness isn't free. Respect isn't free. It requires sacrifice. It requires humility. It requires you to choose the right thing even if you have been wronged repeatedly.
If a relationship is irredeemable don't force it. Don't force yourself into someone else's life. You have no right to them and they have no right to you.
I have disrespected and taken advantage of people. I have broken peoples trust and been insensitive and disrespectful. I am more narcissistic and selfish than I thought and I need to work on that. Accept sometimes it will be your fault. You won't always be the victim.
Guard your name
March 3 2023
A good name is more desirable than great riches; favour is better than silver and gold. (Prov 22:1)
It takes consistent good interactions to form a good reputation but only one bad one to ruin it. Your reputation will open doors for you and keep them open if it is good and it will do the opposite if it is bad.
A good rule of thumb is to always respect others. Try as much as possible not to be rude or to assume anything. Listen more than you speak. Be careful about what you say. But this doesn't mean that you should remain silent.
Acknowledge the fact that you will make mistakes. It is part of the human experience. Own up to them and apologise with empathy and not pride. Don't say "I am sorry for how you feel" but rather acknowledge how you made the other person feel whether you believe it was the right reaction or not. Acknowledgement is not agreement.
There are relationships that will not be salvageable and that is a painful but true fact. Learn from that experience so that you can keep the number of those dead relationships to a minimum.
Decide
March 2 2023
The earlier you decide the better.
Decide what results you want, decide what you are going to do to get them, and decide how long you will work without results. Pre-decide what you will do if you don't get them and what will happen if you don't.
Get your why, what, how and when. Be the least flexible with your why, you can change the rest until you reach your goal.
Write down a list of options with the various variables related to them and pick one of them to pursue. Set a deadline to begin and a timeline to work on them. Measure and analyse your progress regularly and adjust your methods if you need to.
Indecision can be poison. It builds anxiety, wastes time and eventually causes disappointment due to lack of action. It fills your mind with what if and it robs you of the opportunity to learn and grow through trial and error/success.
Trade value for money
March 1 2023
The more value you create the more money you can make.
Today's topic is one that I am an amateur in. However, I have gone through my fair share of resources and I have tried my hand at business and freelancing. These are my thoughts on value and money. There is more to life than money. But it is an important tool that can have a great positive impact if utilised correctly.
Hard work does not necessarily mean success. If you want to receive a high-value paycheck you need high-value products or services which require high-value skills which require diligence and intentional effort. A labourer may put in more time and effort than a CEO in a day but that doesn't mean they deserve more.
Your work may require a lot of effort, but its value is limited. How easy is it to find someone who can do what you are currently offering? If the answer is very easy you will need to do some value addition to your products and services. This is because the more people who can do what you do, the more competition. It becomes less about quality and more about price.
What can you add that will increase the value? Is it professionalism in communication, presentation and delivery? Maybe you can learn a skill that you can add to your offer. Or you can create an additional product on the idea that will make the client's time easier. Then learn how to package your value to the right audience.
What is in your hands?
Feb 28 2023
Use what you have to get what you want.
In life, you may not always get dealt the hand you want. Your dream job will most likely not fall on your lap as soon as you want it to. Your plans may not always come to fruition, but you need to focus on what you can control.
You will not always like what you are good at, and you won't always be good at what you want. So, for many of us, we may have to do what we don't like to earn the resources, the privilege and the bandwidth to do what we do like.
The reason you may not be living your dream today is that you don't necessarily have the ability to maintain it. You have to go through the process to value and appreciate the result. And on the way, you will get the necessary skills, networks, insights and resources to maintain it.
Embrace boredom
Feb 27 2023
Let your mind breathe
This post may seem obvious to some, but I want to talk to those out there who are like me. I don't know about you but for me, my mind is used to overstimulation. I either need to be listening to a song, a podcast, a video in the background or be playing a game. Sometimes I need to be doing two things at once. Boredom has become a painful nuisance and yet it is a necessity.
I am only speaking from experience; I have no qualifications in neuroscience. But the reason I know constant background activity isn't good for me is that it hampers my work. I have tried to write these daily posts while listening to music or podcasts or even while playing a turn-based game on my phone, but I have never succeeded.
Our minds can store great amounts of information, but they are also good at processing. They however need the space to process. Always having something in the background gives your mind one more thing to focus on.
Today I am encouraging you to deliberately set aside time for silence. I have found that silence and boredom help in idea generation, problem-solving and reducing anxiety. What we call meditation today was a normal practice in the past that needed no label. It will be painful, sometimes physically painful but allow your mind to breathe and process.
What are you used to?
Feb 26 2023
You are what you do, not who you want to be.
We are shaped by our habits and behaviours and those are shaped by continuous repetition and practice, they are also shaped by our environment.
We live in a society that seems to love labels, from personalities to fears, now increasing to genders and identities. People want to be identified and referred to in a certain way, but you are not who you say you are you are what you do.
I have been calling myself a writer for many years despite only writing about 600 words a year for the past two years. That was evidently a lie. What are you doing regularly, what habits do you have, and what things do you do and not do? That is who you are right now.
You need to act like your ideal self in order to be your ideal self. If you want to be diligent, hardworking, successful, healthy... you must start doing those things. You must also do what you can to be in environments that enable those things, as far as that is possible for you. Because until then you will remain to be what you are used to.
Adapt or degrade
Feb 25 2023
Be alert and proactive, always
In life adaptation is mandatory. If you fail to adapt and be proactive to the situation around, you then you will be left behind and start degrading. This is because the world will always move forward, with or without you. And with the economic outlook of the world currently, things are getting harder, and they will continue to do so with or without you being ready.
Adaptation usually requires a change in direction and intensity. The way you do things today to get results may not work tomorrow.
In order to adapt you need a goal and you need to be alert. You need to review the trajectory of your life and see whether you are going in the right direction and in the right speed. This will let you know whether you need to change anything or not.
If you realise that you need to change then look at every variable of your process, chose what needs the change and make a plan to change it. The earlier the better as you will have less ground to make up.
So be vigilant, be aware, check yourself and change what you need to, when you need to. Ensure that you continually grow and meet your targets. Or at least get as close to them as possible.
People need people
Feb 24 2023
We were designed to be social
My relationship with people is a mixed bag. On one hand, I usually have social anxiety and would instead spend a day by myself alone, especially when I am working. I spend so much time indoors that I have been diagnosed with vitamin D deficiency before. On the other hand, I love making people laugh and can get very animated and dramatic in front of people. But one thing is true I always feel better around people.
Whether you like it or not you need other people. From a business point of view, you get money when you exchange it for value as a product or service rendered to someone else. You cannot sell yourself your own products and services.
People also help us, directly and indirectly, provide feedback at various stages in our lives. You can have people you, look up to that point out your area of improvement. Of course, you don't have to know someone to learn from them, but it helps. You can also get hints on what to avoid making sure you don't end up on certain paths. You can learn from others.
And then finally there is a sense of fulfilment that comes from serving others. Whether money and appreciation are involved or not.
Try not to get too isolated from people. You need them and they need you.
Take action (part 2)
Feb 23 2023
The difference between who you are and who you want to be is not time, but action.
At the beginning of the week, I wrote an article about how building things that last takes time. Today I want to stress that time alone isn't enough, you need action as well.
There is a Swahili proverb that says "bendera hufuata upepo" which translates to the flag follows the wind. I have definitely been a flag for most of my life, doing what I am required to do and told to do. Never really thinking about or fully acting upon my ideas.
I actually never used to have ideas, dreams or goals until I asked God to give me some. And He has been very generous with them until I now have too many of them. 6 years after making that prayer only a few of my ideas have seen the light of day and those that did only did so for a few months.
It is easier to keep them in my head and reminisce about how amazing they would be one day. But that one day has never come. It is said that a goal without a plan is a wish and that is the hard reality of life.
If you want your goals, your dreams or your plans to materialise then you need to make time and take action. Otherwise, just accept the fact that either someone else will implement them or they will never see the light of day.
Share your work
Feb 22 2023
Someone needs what you have to offer.
Today I will build on what I wrote on day 12.
I believe every human being has value. We were all created and born to add value to this world, not just to consume.
You don't have to cure cancer or invent the light bulb for your work to be impactful. All you need is to influence someone else's life in a positive way. Whether you are a cleaner, accountant, CEO, artist or anything in between you have something to give to others. Build that skill and interest that you have and share it with the world.
Sharing isn't easy, I still feel shy about sharing my ideas every day. This is an area I need to grow in.
Don't believe the lie of imposter syndrome that whatever you do isn't worth telling people about. Yes, at the beginning your work won't be as good but how will you improve if you keep it to yourself? How will you know that it is useful if you never make use of it?
You need to relentlessly promote and share your skills and services because nobody else will. For those of you who have products, you need to let people know about them even if they are still in the early stages.
Of course, put in a spoonful of context and two spoonfuls of wisdom while taking in this advice. But if you truly believe that what you have is of value then it is a disservice to keep it to yourself.
Create your luck
Feb 21 2023
To qualify for luck you need to be pursuing a goal.
It is said that luck happens when preparation meets opportunity. I agree with this statement.
The best way to get lucky is not to look for it but rather to stay focused and work towards your goal. Luck will not come looking for you. You have to find it and you can only find it on the road to your goal. The only trick is you won't know where it is along the way.
I am a YouTube addict and I have been following creators on the platform since I was a teenager. Content creators who have more than 10 million subscribers can be said to have been very lucky some of them even say that's what they attribute their success to but if you really check their history, you notice that it is not the case.
The pattern I have seen is that they all started with the goal of creating content because they enjoyed it. They then did that enough to get really good and really specific in what they created. From there, their audience compounded, and they grew. It sounds simple but that's my view on the matter.
Set a goal. You don't need to have every detail figured out. Just start. With time you will find what you want to continue with and what you want to stop doing in relation to that goal. At the same time, you will get better at accomplishing the tasks related to the goal. That will prime you up to be lucky.
Things take time
Feb 20 2023
Anything that lasts has a strong foundation and strong foundations take time to build.
I haven't lived for very long in this world. If I consider the life expectancy of my country I am almost halfway there. According to my experience so far and my analysis of other people's lives I have come to the conclusion that important things take time. That's the obvious point I want to remind you about today.
It took me 3 years to build a good work ethic and consistency, within a year I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and I struggled to do anything despite being able to do everything without any difficulties. 4 years later here I am climbing out of that pit of darkness. I am not yet at the top of the pit but I am no longer bleeding at its bottom.
I am now trying to rebuild those habits and make something out of my life but I have realised that it will take time. Building skills takes time, building habits take time, and building relationships take time. Anything that has lasted took time to build.
So don't grow impatient or desperate. Realise and accept that if you want whatever you are building to last then be ready to spend some significant time it may be weeks, months, years or decades.
I am not encouraging laziness or saying that you shouldn't take risks but I want you to fight the urge to rush, to give up or to take shortcuts.
Don't quit
Feb 19 2023
Don't give up.
I am sitting here barely awake at 4 am choosing to write this because I made a personal deal with myself to write a post for each day of the year. It is hard, I would rather go to bed but I thank God for the strength and the ability not to give up.
Today's post is simply an encouragement to go on. In spite of the difficulties, in spite of hurdles. If your goal is worth pursuing, then it is worth fighting for.
Pushing through the hard times will build resilience and character and it will give you momentum to move on. Quitting now will form a habit and a future expectation that you will always have a way out in future endeavours.
Become the person that fights. Become the person that tries. For it is better to try and fail than not to try at all. Minimise your regrets by giving your everything at every time that you can.
Divine accountability
Feb 18 2023
It is freeing to be accountable to someone loving, unchanging and all-powerful.
If you have been reading my posts you have probably noticed that I am a Christian and I encourage you to become one. One of the reasons I do so is because of the accountability it brings.
Being a Christian makes you accountable to someone other than yourself and the people in your life. You become accountable to God and His teaching.
God loves and cares for you, He knows the best and wants the best for you. He knows you better than yourself because He made you and He has been with you since you were born. So all His guidelines always have your best interest at heart.
He gives us a reference point and anchor with guidelines that never change. He gives us a manual to live this life in the best way and a path to an eternity in paradise.
Choosing to follow Him relieves the pressure of figuring out life and your own path because He already did it for you. He guides and helps you.
It doesn't make life easy but it makes it simple. Simply follow what He says and it will be well. Of course, following Him will be difficult in practice but it is the most worthwhile pursuit that a human can have.
Rise above
Feb 17 2023
Don't allow your thoughts and emotions to be a slave of your circumstances.
Today is most likely one of my worst days of the year so far. Almost everything that could have gone wrong went wrong at the place where I volunteer in, and I was at the centre of all of them. I spent 15 hours today putting on and extinguishing fires.
To top it off this has been my most challenging week so far. I have been fighting the fog of demotivation and discouragement with my writing. All self-inflicted pain. And it's not yet over, I have a packed weekend ahead of me.
This post is a reminder that you have a choice. Some days that choice is easier to make, and the environment you are in may contribute to its complexity. You can choose to go with the flow of your circumstances, or you can choose to rise above.
As a Christian, I believe it is easier to rise above as God provides peace beyond human understanding. This is having peace in an environment that isn't necessarily peaceful.
I am not calling for all of us to be zen and numb monks but to consider not going as our circumstances and initial emotions beckon us to. But to teach ourselves to pause and reconsider whether that path is the best and the alternatives available.
The blessing of responsibility
Feb 16 2023
Everyone needs something to be responsible for.
I have never liked responsibilities ever since I was a child up to now. I always try to run away from them and avoid any opportunities that would have me responsible for anything. But because my heavenly father loves me, I have always ended up with responsibilities everywhere I go.
Responsibilities give us purpose. They give us a goal to aim for. It is much easier to get out of bed if you have somewhere to be and something to do than when you have nothing planned for the day.
Sometimes we have to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations and get responsibilities so that our minds and bodies remain active. Feeling useless leads to hopelessness very fast and that is a hole that takes a lot of time and effort to get out of.
I have learnt to look at responsibilities as blessings even though I am not the biggest fan of them. Having tasted the hopelessness of uselessness and being unable to take a shower let alone work. I can say that responsibilities are a great privilege as well as a necessity for a stable mind.
Fight the fog
Feb 15 2023
Motivation alone is not enough to reach your goals.
In my experience whenever I have a new goal to aim towards, I have an initial excitement that serves as motivation. In relationships, this is known as the honeymoon period where things are easy, and you are obsessing over the goal at hand.
After that period is a time, I like to call the fog. This is when the initial motivation has died out, the end goal isn't clear. Things become hard and tasks become heavy. The best option at this time seems like giving up because just like a fog you are surrounded by thoughts of uncertainty and lack of clarity.
The best way to fight a fog is with a light and you also need to know where you are headed. This is the time to remind yourself of the goal and why you were pursuing it in the first place. The bigger the goal the thicker the fog usually is but if you expect it, you won't be surprised when it arrives.
As I fight the fog of my daily posts I encourage you to fight the fog of your goals. Let's meet at the other end with more energy and clarity.
Enjoy the journey
Feb 14 2023
"After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.” ― Nelson Mandela
You never really arrive in life. That can sound frustrating at first, but it is part of the human experience. We were made to work towards goals, not to sit idle or indulge in endless pleasures. We were made to derive enjoyment from striving and a majority of our lives will be us going on different journeys.
Yes, we should rest but those who have ever experienced a good day full of work know that rest is sweetest at the end of meaningful exertion.
Enjoy your achievements as well. I am not saying that you shouldn't celebrate. But just know that that excitement dies off quickly. There are so many examples of people who strived for things, mostly wealth and riches only to fill empty at the end.
Your goals, destinations and principles will determine whether your journey is sweet or sour. So, choose wisely. Ensure that you have as few regrets as possible by doing your best at every step and respecting and honouring everyone you come across.
Full force
Feb 13 2023
Make the most of every opportunity. - Apostle Paul
Yesterday I talked about seasons. I believe that life has periods that teach you lessons. And you need to fully learn those lessons to move on to the next level. I believe this is especially true for those who have surrendered their life to Christ because He takes over your destiny and moulds you specifically for His purposes.
Today I will build on the ideas of seasons as well as the idea I shared on day 11 about excellence.
I have an obsessive personality which has both served me and enslaved me. If I can't give my tasks my all, then I can't stand myself.
I remember there was a time in university when I regularly used to sleep for around 0-3 hours due to all the classwork and student body responsibilities I had. This went on for 3 years.
Now, this was very unhealthy but I am glad that I did it because it forced me to grow and learn so much. It opened up doors for me and I even got to leave the country. My encouragement to you today is to give your all at every opportunity. Go beyond what is expected and do your best to be beyond reproach. Because that will enable you to gain the maximum out of every experience. Which will enable you to grow faster and serve better.
Of course, don't neglect any aspect of your health while doing it otherwise you may crash and regress as I did for 4 years. 😅
Life has seasons
Feb 12 2023
Detect what season you are in then actively engage so that you can go and grow through it.
People and things are not permanent. They have seasons. That can be a painful as well as a welcome reality.
There are people in my life who I thought would be there forever, but we don't talk anymore. There are habits and patterns that I thought I would have outgrown by now, but they are getting harder to avoid.
Seasons don't go through you, you go through them. So they can't be ignored. You have to acknowledge them and then engage with them so that they can bear their fruit and you can move forward.
Are you in a season of sowing and building? Are you in a season of building foundations? You need to have a big picture to know what section you are in. Don't worry about figuring it all out. A bad plan is better than no plan because it enables you to learn and change on the way. Many times we think our plans are great only to change them completely a few steps in.
Unfortunately, they are not very straightforward because we live in a broken world with very many variables. But the best we can do is the best we can do. Take time and try to acknowledge the season you are in, note what are the key things you should be doing in your current season so that you can make progress.
Be your best
Feb 11 2023
If you become the best you can be, everything else will follow.
The best comparison to make is comparing yourself to who you know you can be.
I emphasise self-improvement because it is one of the few things, we have control over. You have little control over the progress of others, but you can do something about your own progress.
You know your own capacity and how far you can go. You know what your best looks like. You know your personal goals and why you have those specific goals. If you don't know all these things, then you have the ability to know them. Nobody will do it for you, it's up to you to find out.
If your best isn't enough then you need to increase your capacity, you need to optimise your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical state. If that still isn't enough, then you have the wrong goal.
Strive to be the best. Not the best in the world. Not the best in your field. Not the best in your town or your family. But the best you can be. For if you obtain that, the others will follow.
Dig through the dirt
Feb 10 2023
Don't let perfection paralyse you. You can only improve what has been produced.
Today I address the paralysis of perfectionism. This idea is from one of my friends called Akimana
Whenever I share something with the world, currently my daily posts and occasional youtube videos I usually want them to meet a certain standard of quality. I usually don't have a full picture but I always manage to convince myself that it's not ready yet.
That mindset made me publish only one post for the whole of last year and one post the year before. This is post number 41 this year and I can't say that I am proud of all of them but I know that the few that I am proud of would not have been there if I didn't post the ones I deemed to not be as good.
Progress and purpose are more important than perfection. I am not telling you to lower your standards. But don't let perfection cause paralysis of your purpose. The faster you start doing what you were made to do the sooner you will be good at it and the sooner the world will be blessed by your creations. And I am not talking about creative work alone.
So dig through the dirt, and build consistency first then you can know what you need to work on for a better result. Precious metals don't look so great when they are fresh from the ground but with some refining and cleaning, they become priceless.
You are responsible
Feb 9 2023
To minimise regrets, accept responsibility and take action.
If I was to summarise adulthood in one word, it would be responsibility. Your life is no longer in the hands of parents or guardians. Laws and rules change because you are now old enough to make your decisions and those decisions now have major consequences.
Our upbringing and environment have effects that may live with us for the rest of our lives but thankfully we live in an age where we are not only able to identify those effects, but we are able to deal with those that need intervention. If you have access to this post, you have access to the internet and even though not all information available is correct and contextualised the list of internal problems without a solution is getting smaller.
Accepting that you have some control over your life and that you are majorly responsible for how your life will turn out can be scary, but I believe it should be freeing.
I will repeat some sentiments I shared in previous posts. Your personality isn't your permanent condition it is only your predisposition. You can create good habits the same way you create bad habits, through practice.
You can't control everything in your life but at least ensure that you have control of what you can. It will take time; it may take your whole life, but I believe it is a journey worth going on.
Prioritise Impact
Feb 8 2023
Prioritise the tasks that will allow you to meet your goals faster and more efficiently.
A friend of mine called Alice shared some feedback on yesterday's post. She shared that the way she fights indecision is through prioritisation. I will expound on that idea today.
The best way to prioritise is by thinking about impact. What impact will this task have on the overall scheme of things? Out of the list of things you could be doing which one will have the biggest effect on the others?
You can also look for something that will end up with one more result. For example, I am interested in writing, graphic design, music and Christian Philosophy. I also want to build self-confidence and self-discipline. Finally, I want to find my creative voice. Those are my goals.
Writing daily allows me to practice my writing, build self-discipline, find and refine my creative voice, and build my self-confidence. And I also design daily to market my posts. I have been able to find one task that helps me meet most of my goals. One task with a huge impact.
I do bring up Christian Philosophy from time to time, but music isn't in the picture. But that's okay. You won't always find something that will meet every one of your goals at once, but you can look for one that will have the highest positive effect and prioritise it. Focus and order your life over what has the biggest impact.
What's your focus? (Part 2)
Feb 7 2023
Don't chase trends. Either integrate them or ignore them. Every new thing won't work for you.
Today I will talk about trends and opportunities. It can feel frustrating at times when you get an opportunity you cannot exploit. Or when you see a trend, especially in its early stages but you can't do anything about it.
If you live online like me, you may have experienced the crypto boom of the past 3-5 years. Suddenly almost everything in the online space was being connected to terms like blockchain and web 3. It is still a relevant topic, but it has cooled down. This year has started with Artificial Intelligence. Almost everything new has the letter AI associated with it.
There is a certain anxiety related to trends and not being able to utilise them.
I am realising that the best way to catch trends is not to chase them but to focus on your own thing. That sounds counterintuitive but hear me out. If you don't have something you are building and pursuing, then you won't have the resources to invest in something new. Trends are not there to be followed but to be integrated into what you are doing. The only way you will know if a trend is worth following or not is by checking how it can help you reach your goal. Otherwise, you will rise and fall in significance just like the trends come and go. Focus on your focus, let everything else be an add-on.
What's your focus?
Feb 6 2023
Sometimes, it is better to make 60% progress in one thing than make 20% progress in three.
This is for the multitalented, multi-interested, knowledge-seeking among us.
I suffer from shiny object syndrome. Don't worry it's not a disease, it is a condition where my attention is pulled towards every new opportunity I pursue and then abandon for another new opportunity. Merge this with my interest in technology, love for learning and tendency to try new things then you end up with hundreds of courses, books, saved youtube channels, Instagram posts and unfinished ideas.
You can learn almost anything on the internet; it can get overwhelming if you don't choose a specific thing. You will spend a lot of time and energy with no results because you are making small progress in a lot of areas without making any significant progress in any of them.
Pick one of your many interests and set goals and milestones you want to achieve. Let those goals be your main focus for a significant amount of time. What this will do is force you to make progress in one area. You can still spend time on your other interests but having committed to one specific goal will keep you from going in too deep on your other stuff. With time you can integrate your other interests into the main goal, if possible. And once you are done with the goals and milestones you can change to another interest.
Thank you
Feb 5 2023
Thank you for giving me your time and attention.
Today I just want to appreciate you. Yes, you.
I was made to write. And even though I can still write if nobody reads I am grateful and greatly privileged that I can have you reading my posts. You make my purpose more fulfilling.
Thank you for taking the time to read my posts. If this is your first time then thank you for reading this one, you have 35 posts to binge-read.
Thank you to everyone who likes and comments and to those who respond to the post directly in my DM's. There is nothing worth more to a writer than for someone to read their work and respond to it.
Thank you to all the silent readers as well. Feel no pressure, your eyes and attention are enough.
One month down and eleven more to go. Hopefully, it will be a fun ride for all of us.
Allow evolution
Feb 4 2023
Being wrong is okay.
The ideas and beliefs I hold today are not the same beliefs and ideas I had 8 years ago. I have changed my mind. I have matured and I have evolved. I had to accept that what I held to was wrong and that I couldn't continue in the way I was going.
Have your core principles, your non-negotiables. Anchor them on something external that will never change, for me that is the word of God of the bible.
But for the other things, your opinions, and your approach to different things allow them to change. This can be habits, mindsets and attitudes that you have had for a long time. They have become part of you.
But the same way they were slowly planted and grown in the same way you can plant and grow other habits mindsets and attitudes. Stop feeding the ideas and things that you need to die and feed the things you need to grow.
That is why having something constant and eternal to anchor yourself is important. Your identity can be linked to your behaviours and so letting them go makes you feel empty. Change and become better, not worse. This can only be measured if you have a goal. The closer you are to that goal the better you are.
The importance of rest
Feb 3 2023
If you don't set aside time to rest. Your body will do it for you. And not in a good way.
Your job isn't the same as your work. I believe we all have specific skill (s), interest(s) and calling(s) when it comes to our work. But sometimes you need a job to enable you to do that work or to enable you to identify what that thing is. When you find your purpose work will still be hard, frustrating and even boring but it will be incredibly fulfilling.
It is because of that feeling of fulfilment that rest becomes a problem. Whether you are surviving with your job or thriving with your purpose rest is compulsory. Our bodies and minds weren't designed to go on forever and if you don't rest then you will suffer the consequences. You will either use all you have gathered while working to help you recover from your body breaking down or someone else will enjoy it.
I do know that resting is a privilege not all people have. There are parents who cannot afford to rest or their children will sleep hungry. Others will sleep hungry themselves.
But it is non-negotiable. If you want to live long enough to enjoy the product of your sweat you have to set aside time to rest.
How you rest may differ, for some it may be doing fewer strenuous tasks for others it may be doing nothing if that's possible. But intentionally make time to rest or your body will one day refuse to function until it is attended to.
Self-celebration
Feb 2 2023
The fastest way to be miserable is to focus only on the negatives. The fastest way to be deluded is to focus only on the positives. The fastest way to make progress is to focus on both.
If you rely on other people to acknowledge and praise you for you to feel validated or to feel like you have made an accomplishment, then there are high chances that you will be disappointed.
You should be as critical of yourself as much as you praise yourself. Only you know your goals, only you know what your best looks like. I you are a disciple of Christ you have a higher standard to live up to as you don't work for others or yourself but for God.
Either way, you are the only one who knows your journey, how far you have come and how much effort you have put in. So when you make some progress take time to acknowledge that.
I wrote in a previous post that the fastest way to be miserable is to focus only on the negatives. The fastest way to be deluded is to focus only on the positives. The best way to make progress is to focus on both. Appreciate your progress, work on your shortcomings and you will have a healthy relationship with your work.
The danger of assumptions
Feb 1 2023
If you want a life full of conflict. Live by assumptions.
A friend of mine once told me that assumptions are the lowest level of thinking.
Assuming is accepting something to be true without proof. (Oxford languages).
In relationships assumptions always guarantee conflict. Something happens or something doesn't happen and instead of investigating the matter through clear communication, you assume the person's intentions, thoughts or feelings. I don't know if that has ever ended well.
In business, it has bigger implications. You assume the client's problem and you invest time and energy into solving that problem without confirming it.
Personally, you can avoid taking certain risks or utilising opportunities because you assume that you will fail or that you are not good enough. You will never be great the first time you try something new but that doesn't mean you shouldn't make an attempt.
The best way to kill assumptions is through action. Most of the time it is uncomfortable action of asking questions, researching and taking risks. But I believe that you are better off killing assumptions than living by them.
Emotional management
Jan 31 2023
When you expect and inspect your thoughts and emotions, then you get in the driving seat of your actions.
This post is mostly for those whose emotions get in the way of their work.
The first step to managing emotions is expecting them. Working on something you love and enjoy, can be frustrating, boring and difficult. Expecting yourself to always be excited and energised when you are doing hard things will make you feel worse when the time comes and you don't want anything to do with the task. If you go expecting that it will be hard and boring in the beginning then you won't be shocked and discouraged if that happens. If you end up excited about the work you will even get more excited.
The next step is challenging your thoughts. In my 3 years of attending counselling and therapy, I have learnt that examining your thoughts is the most powerful way to fight negativity. It shifts your perspective and gives you a more realistic outlook on life.
The next time a heavy thought comes into your mind. Especially a negative one ask yourself, is this really true? Am I really useless? Will I truly always be like this? Is my situation really hopeless? We tend to think in extremes and even though our thoughts may feel true and they may be 90% true. But that 10% can be the difference between you drowning in depression or thriving in continuous growth.
Energy management (Scheduling part 2)
Jan 30 2023
You need to manage your energy in order to efficiently manage your time.
I got today's idea from an email procrastination course by Simon Lee from Lifehack.
If you don't manage your energy then there is no need to manage your time because you will either not do what you planned or do it poorly.
In order to manage your energy you need to know what things give you energy and what things take away energy then balance the two so that you have enough energy for each task.
Things like getting enough sleep, drinking water, power naps, listening to certain types of music, exercising and eating the right types of foods at the right time will help you get energy. I am not a health expert but you can try out different things and see their effects. You can try and remember days you have had energy before and what you did. If you have never had those days you can try and see what happens if you add certain activities to your schedule.
Do some research, try out different things and do what works for you.
Entertainment as fuel (Scheduling part 1)
Jan 29 2023
Make entertainment the reward for work and you will literally enjoy the fruits of your labour in twice.
Today's post is about scheduling. Specifically talking about using entertainment as a reward.
This is especially important for those who are self-employed or working from home. The number of times I have slept late or postponed work for the sake of entertainment isn't funny. Your schedule is up to you and so you have to be self-disciplined with your time.
A certain amount of work can be rewarded with a specific amount of entertainment. For example, every three hours of work earns you one hour of video games, movies or a series. Of course, not all movies are one hour so if you want to watch a whole movie you need to put in 3 more hours of work. This helps to eliminate the guilt of entertaining yourself and I find that it makes entertainment sweeter. You are more likely to get lost in your work which will give you a lot of time for you to binge all the content you have missed.
Jordan B Peterson, a psychologist, author, and media commentator put it well when he said." Your schedule isn't a prison...navigate it like you are negotiating with someone who is working for you. Negotiate as if you care for them, as if you would like them to be productive and have a good life. How much work is worth the pay (pleasure)? Try and be in a better state at the end of the day than you were at the beginning. If you only manage 50% that's better than 0. Aim for 51% next time" (Paraphrased)
Handling Feedback
Jan 28 2023
Criticism is meant for consideration, not conformity.
Proper feedback is free and customised advice. It shows you where you need to grow, what you should focus on and what to avoid.
You need to have your own goals for whatever tasks you are doing. You can't please everyone, so you need to know who you specifically want to please and in what way.
Note where the feedback is coming from. Is it from a person who understands the work you are doing? Does this person have a bias towards you? Do they always praise your work or do they always put down your work? Feedback from knowledgeable strangers or acquaintances is usually more valuable than from people who are close to you but don't have an idea about the work you are doing.
The best way to validate feedback is to ask for specifics. If the person can tell you why your work is good or bad then you will be able to tell whether they are knowledgeable about it or if it is just an emotional reaction. Emotional reactions are important to give you a general feel of your work but they should always be taken with a pinch of salt, especially if it is constantly negative or positive without specifics.
As you give and receive feedback look for the specifics as that is what will determine the value.
What's your nature?
Jan 27 2023
Your dream job is someone else's nightmare. Make time to exercise your mind and body by doing something that brings you life. Not something to consume that gives you pleasure but something that gets your hands dirty and your heart smiling.
A mango tree is meant to produce mangoes, a plane is meant to fly, and a boat is meant to float. Everything that was created has a purpose and the purpose can be derived from the features and nature of the created object.
I believe all human beings were created with a specific purpose. Everyone has something to give to the world and the best way to identify that thing is to look at the nature and features of the person.
What do you always find yourself going back to or always thinking about? If you can't find it then pick something now. Work at that one thing until you are good at it. Then work on it a bit more till you are great at it.
Try and do it as much as you can. If you have more than one thing pick one and run with it. If you can integrate them together then do it.
Make time to do what is natural to you provided it doesn't harm other people or yourself. Even if nobody notices or if nobody pays you to do it. Live out your design and in the end, your world as well as others will be better for it.
Curate your consumption
Jan 26 2023
The experiences, conversations and media you allow your mind to come into contact with affect your thoughts and behaviours. You are what you consume. And what you consume is what you will eventually produce.
The saying you are what you eat can be extended to you are what you watch, what you read and what you listen to.
How does a person change? How does a person become who they are? At the core of our day-to-day lives are our thoughts. Our thoughts determine our behaviours which determine our habits and our destiny. And our thoughts are determined by what we allow to come into contact with our minds.
What you saw, what you heard and what you experienced as a child has formed who you are today. For some, they spend the rest of their life trying to reverse the effects that their childhood had on them or they succumb to them and eventually pass the lessons on.
You who are reading this have the choice to determine what affects your mind and therefore what affects your destiny. To a certain extent, you can curate the content you consume and the experiences you have. If you want to test the effect of a specific habit or the effects of content you consume you can stay away from it for a significant amount of time and see the changes. If you don't have such a privilege you can try and remember how you were before you started the habit or before you began consuming the content.
What goes in affects what comes out, so be more careful and take seriously what you allow into your life.
Who are you?
Jan 25 2023
If you lost your ability to work and you lost all the people who are important to you. Would you have a reason to stay alive?
What defines you? Is it your job, your skills, your talent, your family, or your feelings? If you lose your ability to work, your family and your relationships? Would you have the strength to go on? What would you be living for?
The reason I ask this question isn't to scare you but rather to make you think. If your identity is tied to what you do, when you can no longer do that thing, you become lost and devastated. When it is linked to your relationships, when those relationships are no more you will be disoriented. We can't even rely on our own values and principles to anchor us because we are imperfect.
I encourage you to find a definition of your life that can never change. I am talking about the God of the Bible, the one who sent his son Jesus Christ to die for you so that you can live.
Once you know Him and live for Him then the pressures and pleasures of this world will fade away. It won't matter if you live to a hundred or die tomorrow. It won't matter if you achieve that dream, lose that job or lose that loved one.
You will be able to withstand everything and anything that comes your way for your daily food will be to do His will and not yours. I invite you to this wonderful privilege of finding who you truly are and living the life you were meant to live.
The nature of life
Jan 24 2023
Life is hard. The sooner you can adapt to that fact, the sooner you go from surviving to thriving.
Life is hard and it doesn't get easier. You just get better at handling the hard times. The way to get better is to face it head-on.
When you face the challenges that come your way you get stronger because you learn and grow. When you don't face those challenges they don't go away. They will just keep piling up one after another. Life doesn't care how many difficulties you have it will gladly add more to them. Eventually, you will be crushed by the weight if you don't do anything about it.
The sooner you accept this fact the less surprised and the more prepared you will become to face challenges.
Yes, there are good days, days when things will be a bit easier. These are days to rest and recharge. But you won't be able to enjoy the easier times if you still haven't handled the challenges.
The best way to live is actively making one step at a time. Accept the nature of life and adapt your nature as required.
Survival happens when you can deal with day-to-day difficulties. Once you have mastered that you will now be able to thrive. The day-to-day difficulties will have a less significant impact on you and you will be able to go against the current of life and forge your own path.
Build capacity
Jan 23 2023
Strive to live to the fullest and die empty by maximising your capacity.
How far can you go? What are your limits? Knowing the answer to these questions can help you understand where and how to spend your energy.
The best way to know how far you can go is to do something. Set a task or goal and continue increasing the intensity until you reach your limit.
Once you know how far you can go you can now look at your long-term goals as they will tell you how far you need to go. This will help you create a plan for what needs to be done.
For example, since I started writing daily posts I have learnt that I need to improve my typing speed and accuracy, I need to start writing my posts in bulk to keep consistency and I need to set aside time for idea generation to save time. For you it may be taking an extra course, reading and acting on advice in a book or forming a new habit.
I am not advising you to run yourself into the ground but rather to ensure that you use every ounce of your potential to actualise every idea you are blessed to have. The biggest room in the world is room for improvement. Be aware of and actively increase your capacity because your biggest goals and dreams are dependent on it.
Check yourself
Jan 22 2023
If you want to make tangible progress, then you need to have intentional regular assessments.
"Nobody wanders his or her way to a dream, and nobody achieves a dream by accident" John C Maxwell
In order to make progress you need to know where you are going and where you are coming from. Have an intentional look at your life to measure progress. This will help you to make changes if needed and advance.
Look back at your week, and see what you had planned, what you were able to achieve and what you failed at. Then adjust and plan ahead. If you had no plans, then use the time to make some.
You need a goal that is measurable, a system to keep track of your progress such as a notebook or online document. You need to set aside time. And finally, you need to be consistent.
This practice alone will allow you to live a more intentional and fulfilling life. You will be able to know what to say yes and no to. You will be able to manage your time by seeing where it is going. You will be able to manage resources and relationships. You will also be able to spot and stop problems easier and earlier.
Focus forward
Jan 21 2023
What you focus on magnifies.
You won't always reach all your goals and meet all your targets. Things won't always go to plan. I have already failed at some things I planned to do this year. But as I said in one of my previous posts, if you fall down during a race, you don't go back to the start. You pick up from where you are and move forward.
The best way to be and stay miserable is by focusing on the negatives. Focusing on the positives gives you the energy to keep going.
If you don't meet a final goal, it can feel devastating, and you can start labelling yourself as a failure. But take a closer look, did everything go completely wrong? Did you do at least one thing right? If you did, then pat yourself on the back for that. Acknowledge it and use that positivity as proof that you can get things right the next time.
If everything went completely wrong, then assess why it went wrong. Now you have information that you didn't have before. Use that so that you can get things right next time.
Dwelling on the negatives, for any reason other than learning, is harmful to your present and future. Focus on information that will move you forward.
The power of discipline
Jan 20 2023
Only the disciplined are free for they are not a slave to their desires and passions. (Eliud Kipchoge-Paraphrased)
"Only disciplined ones are purely free in life and indisciplined are slaves to their moods and passions." Eliud Kipchoge.
Life has many variables. It is hard to predict and control every outcome. The only thing you have a chance at controlling is yourself.
I summarise discipline as having the strength to sacrifice your current for the sake of your future. If you want to do what you want to do, you need to start by doing what you don't want. You need to do the uncomfortable now, to do the comfortable later. If you want to have an easy life you first need to do hard things.
Discipline also enables you to enjoy the present. It allows you to take the reigns of your life and shape it. To be proactive and deal with problems before they arise and to have the stability to deal with new problems. It enables you to be prepared to maximise opportunities.
Discipline enables you to do more, be more, have more, and give more while worrying less. So if you want to be truly free, be disciplined.
Honour your journey
Jan 19 2023
No two people are the same and therefore no two lives are the same. Take ownership of your journey for only then will you be able to navigate it.
Today's title comes from a talk by "thebami_" on Instagram.
Today, a thought came to mind. "I wish I had the mindset and the maturity I have now, 4 years ago. It would have saved me so much pain. I would have made so much more progress." But If I hadn't gone through what I went through in the past 4 years then I wouldn't have the mindset and maturity in the first place.
We get to see people's highlights online and it is easy to feel like you are lagging behind. The worst thing you can do at that point is panic and try to take a shortcut to success.
I have tried to go from doing absolutely nothing to doing everything available. I would end up worse and do less than before.
We are all at different personalised parts of the journey of life. You are the only one who knows how much you can take and how far you can go. Your limitations and strengths.
Fight the temptation to force your way ahead because of internal or external pressure. Every step you take on has a specific meaning for you. You have to take the time to be mindful and move at your pace.
Show up
Jan 18 2023
Showing up gives you the roots to grow up.
Consistency and reliability are valuable attributes to have. Even if the quality of work isn't the best, one will still choose the consistent and reliable option.
Yesterday I spoke about how to become. I encouraged you to pick a value and live it out. If you are stuck on what value to pick. I suggest being reliable.
This means keeping to commitments and keeping to your word. The act of showing up will make you invaluable and allow you to have an edge over others even if your output isn't the best.
I am not saying that you should accept sub-par output or that you should replace quality work with showing up. I am saying that it will allow you to have a foundation to increase your quality of output.
Simply being there, every single time will build trust and it will make you a valuable member of whatever organisation you are in. Showing up for yourself will give you the confidence to try new things and the ability to build new habits.
Define what showing up means for you and do your best to stick to that.
In this ever-changing world. Being consistent is half the battle.
How to become
Jan 17 2023
Decide who you want to be and start acting like it.
Who do you want to become? Once you have an answer to that question, you have to start acting like that person.
Decide what your non-negotiables are. These are the values and principles you will uphold. Then pick one of them and live it out.
Practice that one thing until it becomes a habit. Until it becomes part of you. Then build upon it by adding another value from the list. If you can do more than one at a time then do it.
If you decide that you are a person who will never be late, you have to practice that until it is natural for you to be on time.
When you mess up don't worry. You won't be back at zero. If you are running a race and you fall down you don't go back to the start you continue from where you are.
The person you are today is a combination of all the habits you have built. Both good and bad. The same way you got to where you are is the same way you will get to where you want to be.
It is simple, not easy and it may take a few weeks or a few years. But it is definitely worth it.
Consider Christ
Jan 16 2023
Following Christ does not only allow you to have the best life but the best death.
I personally believe out of all philosophies, religions, mindsets and approaches to life, Christianity is the best one. I haven't studied all the others and I have a bias because I was raised in a Christian home but during the worst part of my depression, my life was also reduced to the bare minimum.
I lost my ability to work, I lost my closest friend, and my relationships were strained, my family couldn't fully understand the situation either. It was then that I analysed my faith because it was the only thing I had left.
I came to the conclusion that I didn't bring myself into this world, it is God who did it. Therefore, the best thing I could do is ask Him why I am here and do what he wants me to do.
This mindset shift allowed me to be alive today because it relieves the pressure of pleasing society, family or friends. It relieves the pressure of self-improvement and self-condemnation. My only goal is to please God. Nobody and nothing else really matters more than that.
That doesn't make life easy, but it makes it more bearable. And in the end, it will also make death more bearable as well. So today I simply ask for you to make the same consideration. To exchange the burden of this world for His lighter and simpler burden.
Make time
Jan 15 2023
If you want to know what's important to you. Look at how you spend your time.
You will eventually make time for what is important to you. This is a painful fact to face. If you assess your time, you will know what is important to you.
Time is a fixed resource that we all have in an equal measure no matter our status we all get 24 hours a day. Of course, there may be factors that limit your ability to utilise time like ailments and other uncontrollable circumstances.
But my point is linked to my other posts about goals and change. You have to be intentional about what you need to do next when you will do it and how you will do it.
Ideas without planning will forever remain ideas.
I already talked about the mindset shift needed to stop fearing failure and how to counter the procrastination of indecision. The short version is, failure will get you further than doing nothing and procrastination, especially one related to research requires you to set a time limit and take action.
I will share more as I explore and battle my own procrastination, but today's point is that you don't find time, you make it. So whatever idea you have in your head needs a spot on your schedule or it will die.
Change
Jan 14 2023
If you want different results in your life you have to do things differently.
If you continue doing things the way you have always done them, you will get the results you have always had.
Change is hard and uncomfortable because you are doing something unknown. Our minds don't like new things. It is easier for the brain to stick to routines than do something new. The saying old habits die hard is true at a psychological and neuroscientific level.
Expecting the pain as you embark on change helps you to get through it. Reminding yourself of why you are changing also helps. But also reminding yourself what will happen if you don't change can be added information.
If you continue with the habits and behaviours you have now, where are you likely to end up?
Do you like the answer to that question? If not, then you need to change.
The power of process
Jan 13 2023
The stronger the foundation the further you can go and the better you can do.
Today's post goes to my agemates. Those born in the late '90s. I have the same experience as you so take everything with a pinch of salt and a spoonful of context.
The generation I have grown up in has been described as a microwave generation because we want everything as soon as yesterday. That's not true for everyone. It is a matter of perspective.
I have had the privilege of attending two retirement parties. I have also been in conversations with much older men three times my age. I have learnt from them that life is long, and your work career will most likely be the rest of your life. Yes, you may be most active until you are 60 but there is no time you will do nothing.
This doesn't mean that you should waste your life or take things easy. Foundations are built in the early years, but foundations take time. If you rush the foundation whatever you build will come rushing down. So don't feel like you have to accomplish everything now. If you get everything you wished for now it will ruin the rest of your life because you won't know how to maintain it.
So, take life one step at a time. Knowing that the muscles you build in the process will give you the strength you need to carry the product of your efforts.
Something to give
Jan 12 2023
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value." Albert Einstein
Everyone has something in them that someone else needs and everyone has a unique way of offering value to the world.
In the past few days, I have talked about setting goals, having a vision and striving for excellence in everything you do. Those activities may seem very inward facing but they are all for the sake of others.
This world is not about you and neither is your life. That may sound harsh at first but I personally find it freeing. It allows me to stop obsessing over my progress and condemning myself for my mistakes. I end up thinking of how I can serve and be there for others every day.
I am not saying that we should all sell our belongings and become mother Teresa but rather shift our focus to offering value to others, as little or as much as we can.
The companies that serve their clients the best are the ones that get the most customers and revenue. You are more valuable to the organisation you work for if you make clients and workmates feel and be better. If you want to be rich offer the most value to the highest number of people.
I hope that you will live your days not thinking about what you can get but rather about what you can give.
Be Excellent
Jan 11 2023
A life of excellence makes things better and easier for you and those around you.
Today's post is from my amazing grandmother, she usually says "Whatever you do, do it well, or not at all."
Having the ability and opportunity to work is a privilege. Yes, it may not be the most enjoyable thing but at the very least it enables you to serve someone else either directly or indirectly.
Whether you are at the front desk, on the top floor or in the basement your work will affect someone else's life. I am encouraging you to choose to affect that life in a positive way and in return, you will also be fulfilled.
Some work environments are not the most conducive for excellence but you can make a decision. Decide that whatever and whoever goes through your hands will receive your 100%. Your 100% may not always be at 100% but you can ensure that every night when you go to bed you will sleep knowing that you gave it your all.
I think that is a good way to live both at work and in any other opportunity to serve. And at the end of life, it will be a good way to die. Do you agree?
What's the point?
Jan 10 2023
You can either let life happen or try and make it happen.
Life is hard and unfair to everyone. Even those who are rich still face hardship. So, as we move on with our day-to-day activities, I believe it is important to have a view of the whole picture. An answer to why we do what we do and where we want to go.
I used to live life according to how it happened to me. I have spent most of my life in school, so I didn't really need any more motivation than doing what my parents tell me.
But I learnt the hard way that I couldn't go on that way. As soon as I was done with my studies reality dawned on me. For the first time in my life, I was the one who was making the big decisions. I couldn't take it and my mind caved in. 4 years later after battling with severe depression I have finally matured to the point of taking responsibility for my life.
The point is this. You can either let life happen or try and make it happen. But I believe a life with a vision is a more fulfilling one. You don't need to have it all figured out, but you need to pick something. A bad plan is better than no plan for at least it will help you learn. Having a view of where you are going and why you do the things you do will help you get through the days that you want to do nothing.
I wish you all the best in this journey of life and I pray that you may have the opportunity and courage to have and pursue a vision.
The cost of choice
Jan 9 2023
Each decision you make not only has consequences but has an opportunity cost as well.
No pain no gain is an uncomfortable but true reality of life.
Each decision you make not only has consequences but has an opportunity cost as well. Choosing to do one thing is directly choosing to do another. Of course, sometimes it is not as direct but it is still true.
For example, if I choose to wake up late, I am choosing to have less time to handle my activities.
Before the internet, the choices were fewer both in quantity and intensity. I remember before I had Wifi, a PlayStation and a smartphone my choices of entertainment were either to watch TV, read a book, draw or sleep. (I have never been an outdoor person.)
Now the internet has provided an array of ways to both utilise and waste time. One can try and balance the two by creating before they consume but as I mentioned yesterday in order to make progress you have to do either more or better than usual and doing takes time.
As you make your choices I urge you to think about what you are giving up and what you are choosing in its place. And if the end result is something you are comfortable with.
Go for goals
Jan 8 2023
If you don't have a destination you cannot tell whether you have progressed.
One of the main reasons people avoid setting goals, other than laziness is fear of failure. If you don't set a goal, you can't fail at it. But other than missing out on an opportunity for growth not setting goals also degrades you.
The world is always moving forward so if you stand still you will regress. If you move at the same pace as the world by doing what is expected, you will stagnate. But if you do more than what is expected you will progress.
When setting goals, it is vital to consider where you are currently, where you want to be and how you will get there. Then break down the process of getting there until it is manageable for you. The simple act, asses, adjust if needed and repeat. Once the goal is achieved set a new one and the cycle continues.
Remember the goal is yours, don't be embarrassed to start very small and don't rush the process. Biting more than you can chew will only delay you from setting goals again. Also, remember that your plans are not set in stone you are the one who made them and you have the power to change them.
All the best with your goals.
The gift of failure
Jan 7 2023
Failure gives you customised information about what you should and shouldn't do the next time you try.
Failing is never sweet at the moment but it can be a gift in the long run, especially if it is assessed.
Failure is an unwanted result of taking action. It will give you pain or discomfort and sometimes it can be catastrophic. However, it also gives you customized information about your efforts. It shows you what worked and it hints at what will work the next time you try.
Failure is an opportunity to be better by eliminating future mistakes.
The first time you do something will be the worst time because you have the least practice. But each time you try and fail, you improve, as long as you try again.
Welcome failure for it ensures that you will not stagnate. If you succeed every time you try it is easy to get overconfident and complacent thus hampering your growth and limiting how far you could go. But failure keeps you on your toes and it helps you have cautious confidence.
So next time you fail, take it as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than a step backwards.
A pinch of context
Jan 6 2023
Before acting upon or giving up on advice be sure to contextualise it to your situation.
There is no shortage of advice on the internet. And seeing that I have become a supplier I think it is prudent to talk about context, your context.
Advice, at least good advice, usually comes from experience. Even if it's not first-hand experience someone had to go through that situation. Common sense needed to be acted out before it became common.
As you read various life hacks and tips do take note that they only work in a specific context. What works for me might not work for you and therefore don't feel any pressure to fit your life into people's advice.
But also ensure that you don't brush off advice due to fear and laziness. Put in significant time and effort.
Some of our characteristics such as our temperament and personality are only our predisposed position, not our permanent condition. You know when you are lying to yourself and avoiding change, but you also know when you have reached your limit.
If you haven't been, I encourage you to take all advice, even this post, with a pinch of context.
Take action
Jan 5 2023
You will learn more from action than from any other resource.
Today's post is for my fellow procrastinators who demand to have all the information available before starting something new.
I am privileged enough to access information through the internet. However, I have managed to turn that blessing into an excuse.
Whenever I wanted to start something new, I would seek out information first. I would buy books, look for free resources, look for tips on social media, sign up for workshops, and buy courses. But never start what I meant to start. Substituting research for work is just another form of procrastination.
I have courses, ebooks and physical books on writing. But if I don't write I can't apply anything in those courses or books. I have learnt more about my writing in the past 5 days than in my two years of webinars, youtube videos and Instagram tips. Because I actually wrote something.
If you take action and succeed, you learn. If you take action and fail, you learn. If you take no action, you don't learn and you don't make any progress.
So whatever you have been procrastinating. It is time to act. Having the opportunity to act on your ideas is a privilege not many people have. And the opportunity won't always be there for you.
Busy vs Productive
Jan 4 2023
Today's post is for those like me who are always busy but rarely make progress.
Today's post is for those like me who are always busy but rarely make progress.
"It doesn't matter what time you wake up but rather what you do when you are awake." I normally use this quote to get away with waking up late, but it has some truth to it.
In a world where distractions are abundant, focus has become a superpower.
If you share this struggle, try to block out a time of focus where you don't answer the phone, don't check emails etc (unless that is your planned activity). Carry out a specific task for a substantial amount of time. (Its 90 minutes for me)
Human beings were never meant to be 100% available. And you might be surprised how little people need you. You can check your messages, calls and text when the time of focus is over.
Context is important and some responsibilities require one to be on call, but not to everyone. And technology allows us to filter important calls and texts.
So the next time you sit down to work, how about you just do one thing? The results may surprise you.
Not Okay
Jan 3 2023
It is okay not to be okay, but it is not okay to stay that way.
There is a phrase that says" it's okay not to be okay". I would like to add a second part. It is okay not to be okay, but it is not okay to stay that way.
As someone who has been dealing with depression for 4 years, I have a bit of experience of not being okay. Even for those who are not dealing with mental illness every day may not be a day full of enthusiasm.
Once you live with an expectation that not all days will be rosy you are better equipped to choose.
You can choose to allow those emotions to take over by doing nothing to counter them and feeding yourself with more sadness and destructive habits. This will corrode your spirit and your strength.
Or you can choose to fight by trying to push through with something that gives you energy, with healthy habits that will enable you to do something instead of nothing.
Choosing to fight won't guarantee you a victory. I have fought those battles and lost most of them but I am stronger now because of the few victories.
So even if you are not okay, I hope you try to not stay that way.
Expert beginners
Jan 2 2023
To me starting is easy. Being consistent and learning to deal with challenges on the way is where the real work lies.
Every expert was once a beginner and, in this day and age where starting something online has been made accessible, it is easy to become an expert at beginning things but not sticking to those projects or endeavours.
I have heard people say that starting is the hardest part. But as someone who has started a business, relaunched a blog thrice, opened 5 Twitter accounts, and started 4 YouTube channels, I have gotten pretty good at starting. Everything after that is the hard part.
Being consistent and learning to deal with challenges on the way is where the real work lies. It is also where real growth happens.
Having many projects and goals at the same time will just have me doing a lot. A lot of nothing. I end up with a full schedule but no results at the end of the day.
It is better to focus on one thing and make 60% progress than make 20% progress on three things. Of course, context is key and not all progress is equal but it's high time that we expert beginners begin the actual journey of being experts.
Ready, Fire, Aim
Jan 1 2023
In the battlefield of life, this is the correct order of actions.
You may have heard of the phrase, or the sequence of actions ready, aim and fire in a war movie or something similar. The rearrangement in the title implies that one shoots without aiming. That may seem bizarre at first but it isn't advice meant for the actual battlefield. It is meant for the artificial battlefield of life.
You see the idea of firing before one aims simply implies that one should prioritise actions over preparation and adjustments. It is way easier to turn when one is moving than when one is stationary.
Prioritising actions allows one to learn along the way. You encounter real challenges and you have to face them and overcome them in real-time rather than guessing what obstacles you will find on the way.
The best example I can give of this is what you are reading. This very post is an example of me shooting before I have all the details. All I know is that I want to write, I want to write at least 100 words per day in 2023. I don't know what the words will be about but I know that I have delayed the idea of writing daily for the public for long enough.
So I urge you, if possible, take that idea that you have always had and fire.