Dating a Biker: how to be an asset not an ass

SFMC Freelancer: Chrissy Feliz

Ladies, whether you're new to this lifestyle or been with your man for twenty years; let's face the fact that dating a biker isn't easy. Hopefully, by reading this you'll learn a few tips on how to be an asset and not an ass to your man.

First and foremost, If you're lucky enough that your man brings you around his club or to an event; LISTEN and DO WHATEVER he tells you to do. There are rules, structure, and hierarchies that come into play. As much as it's hard for some women to do what they are being told especially by a man, this is one of those situations to shut the hell up as do it. You don't want to be the reason a fight starts.

Being new to what your seeing, I'm sure you have a million and one questions, that's fine. It's good that you have an interest in your new man's interest and life, but save the questions for the ride home or when the two of you are alone.

Don't ask any questions or make any comments on how "this isn't what happens on Sons of Anarchy" or "on Sons of Anarchy they did this and that" leave that shit at home because that's only a television show, it's for entertainment, this is life. You will look stupid and it might be your first and last time at an event.

Once you're introduced as your man's girlfriend, please don't take offensive if his brothers aren't the most forth coming toward you. There is something that is lacking in society but very present in the MC world and that's Respect. Once you're around more they'll start warming up to you.

During the summer, you might go to a bike wash. It's exactly what the name implies, bikes being washed only by half naked (sometimes naked) sexy and some not so sexy females. Keep the jealousy bullshit at home. These girls are there to wash the bikes, take pics on them, and be stared at. If you have an issue with it, keep it in and discuss it later. But remember not everyone in his club or the guys who come to these events are in a relationship. And even if you know a few who are in a relationship, shut the hell up, you didn't see anything, and it's none of your business. Your concern should be YOUR man and no one else's. My suggestion is sit back and enjoy the view like everyone else.

If you're going to your man's club went or another clubs event; dress appropriately. If you're going on the back of the bike, check the whether at 2am because that's what time you'll most likely be leaving a party. If your man is going with his club and you're driving make sure you arrive at the same time as your man. Or wait in the car until your man gets there, the last thing you want is to be inside of the event, having someone hitting on you and your man walking in. People swing first than ask questions later. You might be talking to someone who is problematic to your man's club.

When I go to event if I'm not riding I try to dress sexy. No, not for the other guys at the event but for MY man. I want others to look at him and say "Dam, she's fine. He's got a keeper" or "that lucky bastard!" Believe it or not guys are just as bad as girls when it comes to judging couples. You want to make a good impression, something sexy, classy, not slutty. Sooner or later, you'll start to notice you're date nights turn into bike events, so you might as well get the most out of that new dress and shoes you bought.

At any event you go to; DO NOT OVER DRINK! That's not cute, no one wants to deal with your drunk ass, and you'll not only embarrass yourself, but your man too. I'm not saying don't drink, one, two, fine but know your limit. You're an adult act like one.

Eventually, your man's club will have an event. Whether it's a charity event, bike wash, trophy/anniversary party make sure that you are seen as an asset. Ask if you can cook something, ask if they need help selling raffle tickets, I don't care if you have to take out the garbage you do it and show your man and his club that your support them. They might not show it or say thank you but they notice.

Now for something most women consider the deal breaker: time sort riding or with the club away from you. Yes, ladies there will be times (a lot of them) where you will not be with your man. He might have a club bonding day, church, or just want to spend time with the guys. Before your mind goes into Sons of Anarchy mode, thinking of prostitutes, strippers and piles of coke everywhere, let's be real. Yes occasionally they might decide I go to a strip club, get over it and trust your man or leave. Reality check, they're playing pool, drinking and talking shit at the clubhouse. Or maybe the game is on and they want to watch it without you asking who scored a touchdown while watching baseball.

Church, goes back to the rules, structure, and hierarchy I mentioned earlier. Your man will have mandatory club meetings. NEVER ask what goes on in these meetings because Club business is Club business period. If your man is telling you club business then you might want to evaluate your relationship because you can be sure he's probably telling the guys how much of a freak you were the night before. His club are his brothers they come a majority of the time before you (sorry, you chose a biker) so if he's telling club secrets he can just a easily tell your secrets.

Rides out of state and going out riding period. What did you think he got the bike because it looked pretty in his garage? When these rides happen, LEAVE YOUR MAN ALONE! You nagging him to come home, texting and calling every half an hour WILL NOT make him run home to you. My suggestion, take a sexy selfie, a picture of food and beer, and send him a text saying "this is waiting for you when you get home" After a long ride your man wants exactly what you just pictured, food, beer, and sex! Of course if it's an emergency than by all means call. I usually ask that my man send me a text every once in a while so I know he's ok and I don't worry as bad.

When he does finally get home, APPRECIATE the fact that he's home. Don't complain or bitch about how long he was gone for or what your crazy mind has concocted that he was up to. Have a towel ready so he can take a shower, have food cooking so he can have a hot meal, beer in the fridge, give him a massage and screw him like it's the last time you'll ever be able to sleep with him. Unfortunately many people forget that every time we go out on bikes could be our last.

This lifestyle isn't easy to be in or be a part of. It's a privilege to come into and be around the MC world and the people in it. Being supportive, respectful, non argumentative, and keeping your mouth shut and business to yourself will help the relationship and show your man that you can handle being an asset and not a pain in the ass.

Chrissy Feliz is a SFMC freelancer and model and proudly in a relationship with a biker in the MC community herself.

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