The Welcome Letter

(for first time visitors)

Dear Visitor,

I'm truly curious in how you have found this corner of the Internet, in a world where there are websites so many that counting them is impossible. However, I do not fool myself believing that anyone entering my home shall remain thereafter. As such, I wish to welcome you in a warm manner and treat you as my friend for as long as you choose to be my guest. Freely feast your eyes upon the stories you find here, but before that let me introduce to you...

...the world inside my mind, which has no name. The planet in that world is also called Earth, but it's a different kind of Earth, with different cultures, languages, politics, and religions. Since everything needs a label in order to be understood I'll call that world Mireavov. It means the Earth in a very mysterious language of Rhwarh, which is one of many languages present in the world of Mireavov.

In the ancient times of Mireavov, there were millions of languages, because each tribe had its own. However, as the world become more and more connected, different tribes merged into nations. And individual languages merged into one language with the help of many generations of youth, who were and still are always amazing at creating new ways to communicate.

Around thirty hundred years ago, there were about hundred languages left, but a mere ten hundred years ago, only one language remained. That language is nowadays known as Mireavovish, and it's the language you're reading right now. Mireavovish is very similar to English, but it has its own unique traits. For example, the counting system is different with big numbers. In English, one followed by three zeroes is read as "a thousand", but in Mireavovish it's called "ten hundred". The Mireavovish word "thousand" refers to one followed by four zeroes, which is called "ten thousand" in English. So listing big numbers in Mireavovish goes like this, hundred, ten hundred, thousand, ten thousand, hundred thousand, ten hundred thousand, and million (one followed by eight zeroes, which in English is called "hundred million").

Mireavovish also has many dialects, and every region speaks its own version of the language. The primary difference between these dialects is pronunciation, and in some cases one word can have more than twenty different ways to pronounce it. However, it's considered disrespectful to spell words differently just because someone else is saying them differently, and for that reason, all written text is universally spelled the same. Some of the Mireavovish words happen to be spelled like American English, some like British English, and some like neither of those, but the spelling is always consistent and follows the official Mireavovish guidelines.

Throughout this website, I'll also be spelling out almost all the numbers. It's not my choice, but a necessity created by the English fonts, which do not write the number nine correctly. In Mireavovish, the number nine is written as a circle next to a straight line, whereas in English the number nine is written as an upside-down number six.

This might surprise some of you, but Mireavovish language assigns meaning to numbers, and turning them upside down reverses that meaning. In Mireavovish culture, number six symbolizes life, and to flip it upside-down is to wish for the reader to die. While I don't deny that this sort of death threats exist in the world of Mireavov, I definitely do not wish such to you, the readers, and for that reason I'll abstain from using numbers.

Another major difference between Mireavovish and English is the use of the pronouns "thou, thee, thy". In English those are archaic synonyms of "you" toward an individual, but in Mireavovish those are respectful terms for "you" whether an individual, or a group.

And while we're on the topic of respect, there is no form of address more respectful in Mireavovish than to use the first name. In other words, a student addressing his teacher by his first name is the highest form of respect in Mireavov, whereas in English it's quite on the contrary - addressing people by name is considered rude, unless both people are closely bonded as family or friends.

In Mireavov, however, one is rude, when not addressing others by their name, but as you surely can guess it's impossible to be polite to strangers, so in case you don't know the name, there are many terms of respect. For all little boys, the term is "lad". For all the little girls, it's "lass". For teenagers and young adults, the terms are "mister" and "missy". When you're addressing adults, use "sir" and "madam". However, for the elders the only correct terms are "milord" and "milady".

It's acceptable to use a term of an older age for someone younger, and by doing so, you give them more respect than is necessary. The other way, however, can be rude, if intentional, but it can also be excused, if accidental. However, if you ever call an unknown elder anything less than "milord" or "milady", you can expect a severe scolding, because elders are very respected in Mireavov.

Due to the amount of respect elders receive, all the older men and women are always called patriarchs and matriarchs, respectively. On the other hand, the terms boys and girls are only used toward kids. Whereas a teen or a youth in early twenties would normally be called a guy or a gal, depending whether they used to be a boy or a girl, respectively.

When speaking about a group of humans in general, it's common to use the term of the oldest member to describe all of them, in other words - a group of gals means a group with at least one gal and other females younger than her. Similarly, when one speaks of women, it implies all adult women, gals and girls (unless it's illogical to the topic), and it always excludes matriarch. In order to respect the elders one must say "women and matriarchs" in order to speak of all female humans. The same rules apply with terms: patriarch, man, guy, and boy.

The only exception to the above rule, is the term "man", which has a second meaning as an abbreviation of the term "human". In cases, when the second meaning is used instead of the primary meaning of "male human", the term "man" means "anyone" and it's used in this manner in many idioms, wise sayings, and even in official laws and documents. Due to the fact that the term "man" has two meanings of such contradictory nature, it naturally causes misunderstandings and it's commonly used in jokes.

The respect in Mireavovish culture isn't limited to age, it also happens with the gender, and yes, the "gender" is what Mireavovish language uses to mean the same as "biological sex" in English. The people of Mireavov believe that the gender they're born as is the gender they've chosen, because it's the gender of their souls, which they wish to remain as in their bodies. As such, people are very confident and conceited in their own genders. The women feel that their feminine gender is perfect and that they're superior to men, while men believe that their masculine gender is perfect and that they're superior to women. It would be quite a degrading and offensive implication to either gender to bring up the idea that one could become the other.

And one more important aspect of gender, which differs from the English culture, is the color association. In Mireavov, red is associated with blood, and pink is associated with flesh. Together, they're called the colors of warriors or hunters, and as is logical, those are the masculine colors. On the other hand, blue is associated with water, and green is associated with plants. Together the're called the colors of caregivers, and that makes them feminine colors. This color association has existed since ancient times of hunters and gatherers, when men would bring back the meat and blood, while women would bring back water and plants, in order to make food for the whole tribe to eat.

Since the Mireavovish color association is closely connected to nature and human behavior, it drastically contradicts with English color association, which has no basis in nature, because it has been created through advertisement by retail-companies, who diagnosed shopping behavior and selected certain colors to optimize sales. From Mireavovish perspective, it makes sense that women would be attracted to red and pink, because women are naturally attracted to men. Whereas men, who are naturally attracted to women would subconsciously be attracted to feminine colors of blue and green.

The last thing I wish to mention is the great respect given to women in Mireavov, which can be hardly found in English language. Every profession can easily become feminine with the suffix "-ess". And it's often used toward women in order to avoid the issue of disrespecting them by using the male term. In other words, a female doctor is called "doctoress" in Mireavovish, a female teacher - a teacheress, a female student - studentess, a female warrior - warrioress, or a female wizard - wizardess.

And one should never call a woman as a "witch" in Mireavov, because that's akin to calling an African American the "n-word" in the English-speaking countries. Witches are beings, who are historically known to have committed the worst of atrocities, unimaginable to humans. From Mireavovish perspective, people who caused the worst genocides are the only ones, who deserve to be called witches. And of course, a witch is a male, unless you meant a "witchess".