About ANN

About ANN

America’s #1 Source for Slightly Exaggerated News Since 2025

At ANN (American News Network), we believe the truth is overrated and facts are better when mildly distorted for dramatic effect. Founded by a group of journalists who were politely escorted out of CNN, Fox, and a Quiznos, ANN is committed to delivering the kind of news that feels true, even if it's technically not.

Our Mission
To bravely report the stories that other news outlets are too informed, professional, or legally restricted to touch. Whether it's political chaos, celebrity mishaps, or fictional wars between Harvard and Trump, ANN is there — uninvited and underqualified.

What We Cover:

• Politics (mostly shouting)

• Education (mainly Trumpvard)

• Public Outrage (America’s #1 natural resource)

• Religion, if it’s trending

• Elon Musk, because he won’t stop doing things

• Weather, when it’s funny
  
  

Is It Satire?
We prefer the term "preemptive documentary." ANN doesn't predict the news — we emotionally prepare you for it.

Our Staff

• Chad Grimsley – Senior Outrage Correspondent

• Megan Liberty-Jones – Executive Director of American Freedom Vibe

• AI Jesus – Tech Prophet / Intern

• The Ghost of Walter Cronkite – Part-time fact checker (rarely shows up)

• ChatGPT – Unpaid Intern  (Does Majority of Work)

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Are your articles real?
A: If you have to ask, probably yes.

Q: Are you left-wing or right-wing?
A: We are chicken-wing. Mildly spicy, occasionally sauced.

Q: Can I trust ANN?
A: Only if you promise not to fact-check anything.

Q: Will Trumpvard offer night classes?
A: Yes, but only under ultraviolet light and with a two-drink minimum.