Hi, I’m Merry Jane, and this is my testimony. People know me as a loud, talkative, and friendly person. I laugh a lot and always try to bring joy wherever I go. I’m the kind of person who loves to make others smile because I don’t want anyone to feel left out or alone. I always try to be that person who spreads happiness to everyone around me.
But behind every laugh and smile, there was a version of me who was silently suffering. There was a time in my life when I didn’t want to be here on earth anymore. Every time I was blamed or felt guilty, I always thought everything was my fault. I carried the pain quietly, pretending that I was okay when in reality, I was breaking inside. I didn’t tell anyone what I was going through because I didn’t want to worry my family or friends.
Instead, I hurt myself to release the pain. I punched my legs, slapped my face, bit myself, and pulled my hair. I didn’t cut my hands because I knew my family would notice it. I just wanted to suffer in silence, thinking that maybe the physical pain could cover the sadness inside me. But it never helped it only made me feel more alone and empty.
During my Grade 10 year, something happened that changed my life completely. I was sexually harassed twice. It was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever faced. I felt scared, dirty, and ashamed. I didn’t know what to do or how to tell anyone. I kept it to myself and only told my best friend because I was afraid of being judged or blamed. Every night, I cried quietly, trying to hide my pain from everyone. I would wake up in the middle of the night, just staring blankly or crying. I was deeply traumatized, and I felt like my world had fallen apart.
But even in my darkest days, I learned to give everything to God. I prayed to Him with all my heart. I cried to Him, asking for healing and peace. Slowly, I started to feel His presence and love. I realized that even when I felt alone, God was always there beside me, holding me through the pain. Through time and prayer, I learned to forgive the people who hurt me. It wasn’t easy, and the trauma still haunts me sometimes, but I learned that forgiveness brings freedom. Forgiving them didn’t mean I forgot what happened it meant I chose peace over anger.
Now, I am still healing, but I am stronger than before. I have learned that pain doesn’t last forever, and that God can turn our deepest wounds into strength. I learned to love myself again and to see life as a gift. I realized that no matter how hard life gets, we should never lose hope because God’s love is greater than our pain.
My testimony is not just about suffering it’s about hope, faith, and forgiveness. I am thankful that God never gave up on me even when I almost gave up on myself. My story reminds me that no matter how broken we are, we can still be whole again through God’s love. I am a survivor, and I believe my pain has a purpose. I share my story to remind others that it’s okay to be broken, it’s okay to cry, but never forget that God can heal even the deepest scars.