For Carolyn from Ken
You are my best friend. You know me better than anyone else on Planet Earth. You care about my well-being: my physical health, my professional health, my emotional health – and my spiritual health. All these years, you have been my angel guardian against that built in tendency to wander off the path and into the dark. We have been together as husband and wife, as Mom and Dad, as Grandma and Grandpa since it all began in August of 1969.
We made our promise back then – up there in Northern Wisconsin - as your Dad and our pastor friend presided over that simple ceremony. The church was full of family, classmates and life-long friends who believed in us and our God - and wished the very best for you and me. We are still together.
You and I have a shared, collective memory that spans five decades. When one of us forgets, the other remembers – more often you than me. Our memories are rich – and have taken us through life’s predictable stages. The first 8 years it was just us two. Then the children came: Kristyn, Candace and Kevin. There were job changes and new homes. Travel to faraway places. Like everyone else in the human race, we too faced disappointment; unexpected and unplanned challenges; dangers, toils and snares. But I could always come back to your smile – your belief in me; your tenderness; your ability to see and embrace the best in me and for us.
You made our home a welcome place of refuge. You brought color and fragrance and warmth to the space we shared - our table always inviting and satisfying. At home, thanks to you, we found rest, acceptance, nourishment, affection and laughter.
You and I were raised with a hierarchical view of marriage – that the husband rules over the wife; man over woman. But that never worked very well for us.
From the start, you were strong. Ours was and is an equal partnership. Some might say that I am the visionary. If so, then you are the realist. You kept me grounded. When I made mistakes (and there were lots of those), you gave me grace. In those really hard days, when the credit cards were maxed out and we struggled to keep the mortgage current and the relentless pressure was on and we wondered how we would survive, your deep faith and trust and prayers got us through.
To this day, our three kids love their long talks with you. Your heart is with them all – our three and their spouses – Ben, Jamie and Sonya. Our grandchildren know and have deep and genuine affection for their Grandma. Each of them - Kenny, Will, Becca, Kate, Rachie, John, Noah, Amelia, Paul, Hazel, Ashlyn, Hank, Emerson and Quinn – all of them cherish your special brand of love and care.
So, we have reached this milestone: 50 years. Since that fateful day when I saw you sitting alone there in Alumni Auditorium – when from a distance we caught each other’s eyes and you smiled in my direction – since that moment when you turned my head and then captured my heart, I have loved you. And today, I love you more than ever.
When we walked the streets of Chicago hand in hand back in the late 60s and talked about the life waiting for us out there somewhere, we pledged that we would grow old together.
And here we are. I can’t imagine my life without you. As we venture into this next phase of our lives, I’ll say it again.
You are God’s good gift to me.
Carolyn - I love you.